Elia (EDITING)

Chapter 37

I am so sorry for the late update. Karma has been fucking with my Wi-Fi... but anyways... at least i did update... so here is Chapter 37.

Nathaniel.

"Um... Xander." I shift my weight to my other leg and look at Elia who is surprised. He knows I am going to tell him.

"I- Elia and I... are... ahem..." I pause and force myself to breath. "Elia and I are-"

"I know." Xander forces himself to sit up straight. My eyes widen trying to study his look. I look at Elia who has a small smile on his face looking at the ground with a red face.

"Xander you don't understand... I am-"

"Gay... yes I know... and you're going out with Elia. I know." I look back at Elia who this time has wide opened eyes. "And no, Elia told me nothing, I am your best friend. I know what goes on in your life without you telling me."

At that moment, I keep my eyes glued on Xander, the pink color on his face spreads further to his neck. I really don't know if he is angry now or mad, or disgusted. 

"Don't worry... I- I am alright with it."

 "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier." I apologize my throat burning. "You should have been the one to know first..."

"It's alright." "You don't have to worry about anything."

***

I allow Elia to drive me home again today. We talk of general stuff in the car. Our conversation turns sappy when we start talking about our personal stuff and lives. As we are talking I look over at Elia's wrist on the wheel. It looks skinny. I keep my eyes there until I look up at his face that has a sharp jaw line. Elia is slim, and I think he really should gain weight.

"You have to gain weight." I say before I allow the words to process in my head before I say them. Then I realize how he might take it as. Elia snaps his eyes at me for a second before he looks back at the road. He frowns, and I feel bad.

"I don't mean- mean that you are too skinny or anything." Holy Fuck! What the hell am I saying? Elia grimaces tightening his hand on the wheel. The sudden silence tat falls between us is so agonizing.

"Elia-"

"What's up for Christmas?" his voice comes out low and pained. I feel my heart drop to my stomach, I have hurt him. Although he tries to pass a smile my way, it comes out so bad, and broken. I decide to get along with it anyways. "Um, hoping to spend it with my mom." I honestly speak. I have been trying to reach my mom ever since I moved in with my dad but she never answered my calls or called back. It really hurts, but maybe something is just up. "What about you?"

"I think my g-parents are heading off to Italy." He says his mood still in a trench. I nod and question him. "Are you going too?"

"Uh, I have to meet my relatives." He says. But I wanted us to spend the Christmas together. Like that would awesome huh? Spending Christmas with my 'boyfriend.'

The term itself still is difficult to process. Like, I have a boyfriend, I am dating someone of the same sex as mine!? I look at Elia to see him looking irritated. I decide to cut any words wanting to come out of my mouth.

Elia stops by the food court as usual. He doesn't pull his keys off making it clear we are not going to walk in the flats together. "Um, look..."

"I'll call you." He simply says surprising me. Call me? as in... I should not call him. Is he really mad? Of course, he is. I just had to ruin a nice day. I look into his eyes, trying to draw this moment this moment to something, but he looks away to the other side and pretend to look at something. "I have to go before it snows."