Elia (EDITING)

Chapter 19

I am too lazy to fix this chapter, i will fix it a bit later. So i might not be able to post tomorrow, but i will post the day after.

Elia.

By the way how did I end up here?
Xander pushes me onto the bed and goes to attack my lips as usual I kiss him back. He slides his his hands under my t-shirt and pulls it off in one attempt.
Oh how I got here?

So, Xander called apologizing for the other day. Of course, he was just mad and didn't mean it. And me on the other hand I am not the kind of person to hate or get mad for a day. So, he wanted to come over but I didn't know how I will feel with my g-parents around, of course we were to steal a kiss or two maybe three, but this is not what I expected to happen.

I help Xander to remove his shirt literary breaking the bottom button. He kisses me again harsher now. Oh no... what is going to happen here. My hips work on their own accord lifting up to grind on me. Xander moans loud dropping his hips to start to grind harshly on me. He moves his lips to my neck and he starts to leaves small kisses there before he licks my spot.

Nathaniel.

Nathaniel Sandas.

Fucking Nathaniel Sandas get out of my head!

I push Xander off, he quickly gets backs to my lips, I push him off again. He finally sees I am no longer in the mood.

"What's wrong?" he asks sitting up straight. What is wrong? Everything is wrong! I am kissing Xander, I kiss Xander, we kiss, we leave hickeys on each other... but all this... all this is wrong. Not kissing and hickeys! But the fact that Xander and I are the one doing this. Xander may not be gay or bi at all but... he has a girl who is still under his name. And as for me... what has gotten into me. I like Nathaniel, not Xander. I do like him as my friend, but... but... Xander... Xander.

"I know you are thinking of him but he will never like you..." Xander says trying to get on top of me. "I am not thinking of him..." I lie.

"So why don't we just do it?" I look at Xander my yes widening. He doesn't think we are going to have sex right?

I mean he is sexy and all, but... I don't think I am anyway close to ready. "No, I don't want to do it"
"C'mon it won't hurt I'll ease it on you?" he pecks my neck going way down my naked torso until he reaches my bottoms. He slides a finger in. "Xander..."

He pulls my bottoms off leaving me with my boxers only, the cold hits me making me shiver. He kisses my groin through the thin fabric. My hips move up at their own accord meeting his lips once more. This is wrong... This is so fucking wrong, but even though I know it's wrong I lay back on the bed facing the ceiling.

"You're very cute Elia."

It is when I come back to my senses the second time today that I push him away. "Elia! What now!?"

"Xander this is wrong, I don't like you!" he snickers. "I know! But..."

"I am not doing this...." I stand up and take my t-shirt putting it back on. "This is wrong! We are friends and... and the last thing I want is to ruin things between us, and Nathaniel and... Xander! I like everything with you but...Look. I swear Nathaniel changed from being all nice to me to being so... so I don't know when he saw the hickeys you gave me the other time. And I am confused... I want to know if he was jealous or..."

"Elia I understand" Xander stands up and gets his shirt. "I get what you're saying." "I am sorry, I just get... a bit stupid sometimes"

I eye him anticipating something bad. "I don't know why this suddenly is happening but..." Xander looks down. He blinks and I swear I see a tear falling down. I step close to him. "Xander what is wrong?"

"Elia I think I'm falling for you?"

I think he was going to smile and call it's a joke but he nods palming his face and sobbing. Oh no! This can't be happening. He can't like me. It is my fault, I caused all this by allowing myself to be vulnerable. I shouldn't have let him kiss me. Xander sits on the corner of the bed. I kneel in front of him. "Xander... I ...I"

"It's okay Elia... you don't have to like me back."

I stop by the familiar door and gulp. Should I knock or should I not? Should I? should I just go back home? I mean, I miss him and I want to ask why he is sort of ignoring me. I sigh finally deciding to let it off. I ring the bell shutting my eyes. There is no response for the next three rings. I know he is around, Xander told me he is alone at home. I knock this time.

The door flings open to reveal an angry looking Nathaniel, "Dude wh- oh Elia." He steps aside fixing his tank top. His hair is wet and some droplets falling down his perfect tanned face.
"Hey" I say shifting my weight to my left leg. "How are you?"
"I'm alright" he stares at me from top to bottom. "What are you doing here?" his face turns red when he looks up at me. His Adam's apple blobs as he swallows noticeably hard.
Good question what am I doing here?
"I... I ..." he folds his arms raising an eyebrow making it clear he was not expecting to see me here, maybe he doesn't want me here.
"I can leave if.... You... um..." this was a bad idea, coming here and acting like shit. "I... see you Nata- Nathaniel..." I turn to walk away. He chuckles. "You really have a thing of forgetting names when you're nervous huh Ellen?"
I look at him breaking into a smile as he opens the door wider. "Come on in."

I sit on the same couch as last time. Nathaniel mumbles something about being cold and a jacket when he runs upstairs. I look at the blankets and pillows next to me. He definitely is a lazy dick. Nathaniel comes back and falls on the couch next to me keeping a distance in between us.
"What do you want to do?" Nathaniel asks. "Watch a movie or..."
"Talk?" I mentally slap myself. "Like... um, tell me what you like and all... if you don't mind." Nathaniel shrugs. "I don't have a story to tell" he simply says. I take him serious before he chuckles. "I'm fucking with you, I'm Nathaniel Timothy Sandas, I'm 18 and yeah. What about you?"
"What do you like to do?" I throw a question his way. "Partying, eating, sleeping, video games... umm, hanging out with people I like..."
"Anything in particular you don't like?" I ask him. He takes a pillow and places it under his head. "I don't know, I only get to know what I hate when I see it... enough about me... How old are you?"
"Still 17"
"What are your favorite things to do?"
"I like to...sleep read novels, scroll through social media, listen to music... yeah."
"You have any siblings?" he asks.
"No"
"Why do you live with your grandparents?" he asks. I look at him to see concern written on his face. Nathaniel is now my friend right? So, I can just tell him huh? But also, it is not his reaction that I fear, but I fear that I will breakdown right here. "Because my parents passed away."

Nathaniel's face does not change. He keeps on looking straight into my eyes. "Tell me about it." "Of course, if you don't mind"

I don't know why I want to tell him everything. "A few years ago my dad died in a car accident leaving my mom in a... not so good state. So she slipped into depression and after some time she decided to end her life, but it failed and left a permanent damage on her, and later on she died forcing me to come here and live with my g-parents." I surprise myself by not tearing. I look up at him to see him looking right back at me.

"I know how you feel, not trying to be rude or something but... I feel as I have lost my dad, I feel as if I have lost him permanently. I can't see him as my dad anymore Elia, I just can't. And now I'm scared I've lost my mom too, she hasn't talked to me or..." he sighs looking down shaking his head.

I smile at him. "Your parents are out there, mine will never... never ever set their eyes on mine..." "You know I hated my mom so much but... now... all I can tell you Nathaniel is no matter how much you've been hurt by your dad or whatever shit he has pulled on you, one day you will curse yourself when he is no longer there. My mom wasn't stable after my dad died, she would do anything to see me cry, but... but... I wish I told her I loved her." It feels as if I have opened a dark part of my life, but I promised myself never to look at it.

"Did she hurt you?" he asks. "Not physically but emotionally... let's not talk about this... do you have siblings?"

"Well... I don't..." he smiles. "Okay, let's watch a movie now."

Thank you for reading help me note some errors and i will fix them. So the reason why i "might not" update tomorrow is that i have a doctor's appointment but if i get time i will post a chapter. I love you sexy balls.