Cinderella // luke brooks fanfiction

chapter twenty five

Ive not seen or heard from my cousin claire since i told her i was back in contact with Jenny. She didnt approve of the situation and has just forgot about me.

im going to visit my dads grave today, for the first time since he passed away. its a big deal for me, i shoud be going to visit him at his house, not at his grave. Gina offered to come with me but i kindly declined. I wanted to go alone, i had a lot to think about and a lot to tell my dad. once i was ready, i walked down the street, my headphones in drowning out the negativity, i stopped at a small stall and bought some flowers to take with me. I continued walking, once i was at the cemetery i walked up the small hill.

Its mad to think that this cemetery only recently opened last November, and it has ten rows so far. each row has 8 graves. So 80 people have passed away in the space of a couple of months?

row 10, grave 3. Thats where my dad is.

'beloved dad and husband

loved by many'

i sat down on the grass next to his grave, the small space between him and the person who rests next to him. I put the floors in the small pot of water which sat infront of the headstone. I sat my bag down next to me and crossed my legs, as if i was getting comfortable because we were going to be having a long chat.

"hiya dad" i smiled to myself.

"you doing okay?" waiting for a reply, like i was actually going to get one.

"i've been doing okay" my voice cracked, and so did i.

Tears fell from my eyes as i spoke.

"im not okay, i'll never be 'okay' anymore. you not being here is killing me dad, literally killing me. Waking up in the mornings knowing you're not here causes me physical pain. It like a part of me is missing and it wll forever be uncomplete because you're gone. You're gone and im never going to see you again, im never going to hear your voice or hear your laugh. You're never going to meet my boyfriend or meet my best friends and that makes me sad." i cried into my own hands.

I ran my hands through my hair and quickly wiped my eyes, I couldn't be weak. I had to be strong for my dad, didn't i? Weak wasn't an option for him, it was be strong or nothing.

I continued my 'conversation' with him for another 20 minutes or so, I told him about Emma, the boys and Gina.

I stood up from my spot, the grass was flattened from where I was sat. I brushed myself down and picked my bag up.

"I'll see you soon dad, I love you" I said, wishing I would get a response just so I could hear his voice.

I walked out the cemetery and tried to call luke, but of course he didn't pick up. Just as I was typing out a message to him, I received one from him 'sorry, so busy!! I'll call you later, I love you'. I sighed and put my phone in my bag, I went to the small coffee shop in town and picked up an ice tea and continued walking home. Once I got there, I dumped my bag and shoes near the door and jumped in the shower. I feel like showering is an escape from reality, everything on my mind would just wash away. I rested my head on the tiled wall, I could literally stay in here for hours at a time if I could.

•••

After my long and soothing shower, I changed into some comfy clothes and watched netflix on my laptop. American Horror Story is my current favourite, although it does have some pretty bad triggers. So as you can guess, after I finished my 3rd episode of the night I quickly slipped into the bathroom and rolled up the sleeve of my jumper. I leant my arm over the sink and slid the blade over my skin, my blood dripped down the drain as I sighed with relief. I cleaned myself up and went back to my laptop.

Gina was back now, and she was making dinner for herself, as I told her I had already ate. The smell of food lingered in the house, making me feel physically ill. I returned to the doctors the other week and she told me if I lose any more weight I'll be risking a lot, but the thought of eating repulsed me.

I took my phone from my pocket, I had messages from Beau asking if i wanted to Skype and obviously I did. So I went to luke and jais room, sat down on the floor with my laptop and waited for the call. Beau's skype user name appeared on my screen and the anxiety kicked in, I don't know what was making me anxious but I clicked accept and his smiling face took over my screen.

"Heeeey" he smiled.

"Hello" I smiled back.

"How're you?" He asked.

"I'm good" I lied.

Our conversation consisted of 60% lies and 40% truth because of the questions he was asking.

Are you okay?
Yes.

no.

Have you been eating?
Yes.

no.

Have you been seeing your mum a lot?
yes, all the time.

nope, I barely leave the house.

I let Beau talk to his mum for a little bit and then we continued our conversation, I heard a familiar voice in the background, and then James appeared next to him.

"Chelsea" he beamed.

"Hello" I laughed.

"How've you been?" He asked

"Good" I smiled, also another lie.

"How about you?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's great here"

I heard someone mumbling from behind the camera, the voice was muffled but I could automatically make out who it was.

"Just come over luke?" Beau said, his tone was rather annoyed.

I didn't hear lukes response but I heard a door shut and beau sigh.

"I've got to go, I love you two" I said quickly.

"Oh, okay! I love you too!! Text me later or something yeah?" Beau half smiled.

I nodded and ended the call, bursting into tears straight after. I cried into my knees as I replayed what just happened in my mind. Luke knew it was me, and he chose not to come over and that upset me more than it should have.

My phone light up and I read the message from beau:

'He's just in a bad mood, don't be upset'

but I was upset, I was upset that my own boyfriend won't talk to me anymore.

La has changed him, he's not the boy he used to be.

He is not the boy I fell in love with.

just a short filler chapter, bc people wanted me to update!!

y'all should like hover over your favourite bits and comment!

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