Cinderella // luke brooks fanfiction

Chapter fifty four

*comment while u read u beauties*

I felt restless, and decided I needed out of the house. I headed out and walked for what felt like hours.

As I walked the streets, so many memories came flooding back. I came across my old street, and my heart began to pound. I knew there was nothing to worry about because Lorna no longer lived in the house, I was told it was sold on to another family quite recently. As I got closer to my old home, I noticed a large pile of rubbish bags and a large dump like bin full of things, and when i got closer I realised it was my things in the bin.

I backed away from the house and walked faster and faster until I was running. I don't know what I was running from but I felt like it was chasing me. I got back to the house and slammed the door behind me, leaning against the door trying to catch my breath.

"Hey, what's up?" Luke said, turning around from the sofa.

"Nothing" I stuttered, while walking towards the bathroom.

"Chels?" Luke asked, but I slammed the door before anything else could be said.

I felt like all the sadness I ever felt in that old house Just came rushing back, and has knocked me down. I feel defeated.

I haven't been sad for a while now, and it's all came flooding back and I think I'm drowning. I didn't want to harm myself, well not yet anyway. I just suddenly felt like I was weak, like the world had drained me for all I had.

My phone vibrated in my back pocket, it was a text from luke, with a photo attached.

It said "you can't truly love anyone until you learn to love yourself"

I left the bathroom and walked back into the living room.

"bullshit.
I have never loved myself.
But you -
Oh god, I loved you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like" I said, becoming angry.

I felt like my heart had been ripped out of me, I never thought he would say something like that.

"Why are you getting angry?" Luke asked, looking confused.

"Because I can't believe you said that"

"I was trying to be supportive" he said, raising his voice.

"You cannot say I can't love anyone because I don't love myself, when I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. You made flowers grow in my lungs and although they are beautiful I'm struggling to breathe now"

"What are you trying to say here Chelsea?" Luke said, starting at me with wide eyes.

"I don't know, I don't know anything anymore" I said, feeling like I could cry but nothing came out.

"I think you just clarified that you don't want this anymore"

my heart basically stopped, that's not what I meant at all. My head is a mess and my chest is empty but god I need him more than anything.

"No that's not what I meant luke" I said, panicking.

"Well that's what it sounded like" he said, while opening the front door and walking out.

"You should have just ripped my heart straight out my chest, that would of hurt a whole lot less that that" I shouted, as he left.

I had instant regret, I knew luke was only trying to help me and be supportive but I think seeing the old house and getting messages from Lorna has thrown me off. It's made me feel like the scared little girl I was before I found luke and that is not someone I want to be anymore. I decided to go to bed, I assumed luke would be back in an hour or so, he just needs to blow off some steam. I got into bed and closed my eyes, but the voices in my head that I hadn't heard in so long came back, and they're not going to let me be fine about all of this. They're going to do their best to kill me.

'Do it'
'Do it'
'Do it'

The thoughts inside my head encouraged me to harm myself but I wasn't going to let them win, I took my phone out from under my pillow and decided to call luke as he hadn't came home yet. Obviously he didn't answer as he probably thinks I'm angry at him, but I'm far from it anymore. I need him more than anything right now. The voices are getting louder and louder and I'm struggling to stop them.

I called luke over and over until he finally answered.

"You've phoned 8 times now, what do you want?" He snapped.

"I need you" I whispered.

"What?" He replied.

"I need you to come home"

"Why? Just so you can shout at me for being supportive?" He Said, getting sarcastic.

"They're coming for me" I said.

"Who is?" Luke asked, his tone of voice changing.

"The voices"

The line was quiet for a few seconds, but luke agreed to come home. I sat in bed, with my knees to my chest as I waited for luke to come back. I found myself talking to the voices inside my head.

"Do it"

'No'

"Do it Chelsea"

'No, stop it'

"Kill yourself"

'Leave me alone'

"KILL YOURSELF"

'Stop it, leave me alone'

"Hey hey, shhhh" Luke's voice echoes down the hall.

"Who are you shouting at?" He asked.

"They're back" I said quietly.

"Who is?"

"The people inside my head" I whispered.

"Why are you whispering?"

I explained to luke that I felt they could hear me, and I didn't want to upset them because they would make me do bad things. The voices had faded away into nothing while I was in LA, but since being back they've returned and I think they're stronger than ever.

"Maybe we should go back to LA" luke suggested.

I shook my head, we had only been here for a couple of days, and I wasn't ready to leave just yet. I told him I could cope with the voices, I did for so many years.

"Should we go to the doctor tomorrow?" He asked.

I shook my head again, that was a definite no. Doctors don't do anything, they'll just tell my im crazy and section me and that's not what I want. I want someone to understand and the only person who can do that is Gillian, but I'm not ready to leave yet.

"I'm sorry for shouting and getting angry" I said quietly to luke, who was lying next to me. His body as close to mine as possible, with his arm resting over my waist.

"I'm sorry too" he sighed.

"I love you" I said, softly.

"I love you more" he assured me.

But the voices in my head didn't seem to agree.

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Hello my lovelies I hope you're all doing good !!

I am VERY sorry that I haven't updated in a while, i was struggling for ideas but now I've got it!! So hopefully there will be more updates in the near future! Also I apologise that this is a rather short chapter, I just wanted to get the story line going a little.

Make sure you hover over your favourite parts and comment to let me know!

I love u all👑 - Stevie