Cinderella // luke brooks fanfiction

Chapter fifty five.

*hi, THIS CHAPTER MAY BE TRIGGERING IDK PLEASE IF U EVER FEEL SAD OR LIKE YOU WANT TO HARM YOURSELF PLEASE COME TO ME OR SPEAK TO SOMEONE!'!!! I LOVE U ALL SO MUCH

comment while you read or something. I like reading all your lovely comments+ there is a Shawn Mendes song reference in the first paragraph! First to find it wins lmao*

1 week, a full week of voices and whispers going on inside my head. I've been refusing medical help and any help in general really. I was determined to sort this out for myself. Whenever luke asked about how I was or what was going on inside my head I would just smile and brush it off. He thinks I'm strong but what he doesn't know is that I can barely carry on.

Kind of want to cry, kind of want to die, kind of want to sleep my whole life away but I also want to scream at the top of my fucking lungs because it feels like I'm drowning and no once can hear me call for help.

We go back to LA today, and I'm so not prepared for this flight. Being trapped in a plane for God knows how long isn't something I want to experience, I'm already trapped inside my mind. Luke packed both of ours bags and put them out to the car, I lay in bed until the moment we had to leave. Gina drove us over to my mums house before the airport. We all went inside and said goodbye, my mum let out a few tears but my sister was inconsolable. She was crying so hard and I felt responsible.

"Hey hey, I'll Skype you baby" I smiled, reassuring her.

"But what if the Angels want you back before you come home?" She said, crying harder.

I was shocked, she is a young girl and she already knows I don't want to be here. I didn't know how obvious I was making it, it subtly drop hints but never had anticipated that she would understand the meaning of them. I felt my eyes fill with tears and I blinked allowing them to fall down my cheeks. I'm grabbed her tightly and held her close to my chest, I could feel her heart beating fast against mine.

"I'll be back" I said.

"Promise?" Emma said, holding out her pinkie.

I hesitated before locking our pinkies together, holding them there for a few seconds, that's the first ever time I've promised I'm not going to kill myself, but I didn't say I wouldn't try. Even if I did try, I doubt it would work, it never does. I sighed and stood up, I hugged my mum tightly and said goodbye. Emma held onto my hand with determination, she wasn't willing to let me go and because deep down I think she knew she might not see me again. She may only be 9 years old, but she's the smartest 9 year old I've ever met. She can sense sadness and can tell when things aren't right, and this is one of those times.

We got back into the car as they waved us off, we drove to the airport with The radio faintly playing. I stared out the window as the sun was setting. I loved Australia, it was truly beautiful. It made me rather sad to think I may not ever see the beauty of it again. I knew I couldn't fight off the voices for much longer, my lungs are so full of self hatred and oh my god I can't breathe anymore. I just want to be able to breathe, I want to be free.

When we arrived at the airport, the sun had completely set. The sky was asleep but I was wide awake, I can't do anything with these voices. The god damn voices. Gina walked in with us, we checked in and got rid of our luggage and sat with Gina in a cafe until our departure lounge number was called and we were told to head there. I hugged Gina with all my strength, I put everything I had into that hug. I cried into her shoulder, she reassured me that she would see me soon but I think I knew that wouldn't be the case. Luke said goodbye to his mum and we walked to the departure lounge. We sat in silence as we waited for our flight. it was around 10pm and luke was sleeping on my shoulder, I thought about life and how I didn't see much more of it. I had basically planned to kill myself when we got back to LA but now the nerves were kicking in, this time it felt different. It was different because it necessarily wasn't me who was doing it, it was the people inside my head. It wasn't suicide, it was murder.

Our flight number was called and we headed to the gate, we boarded the plane and found our seats. Luckily it wasn't a bust flight as it was later on in the evening. It ended up being just luke and I in one row. The flight went pretty quickly as we both sort of zoned out. Luke slept on my shoulder as I just stared out the window for what felt like minutes.

We were greeted by Beau at the airport, he had the biggest grin on his face. He hugged us both and we went out to the car, luke and beau sat in the front as they spoke about Australia. I sat in the back in silence as we drove home. Once we arrived back at the house, we were smothered with hugs from the rest of the boys, and Ronnie who had come to stay for a while.

We call caught up with what's been going on while we were away, I had missed them so so much.

*3 days later*

I think I'm slowly giving up, all the boys were out for the day and I took this as the opportunity to do what I needed to do. This time I was sure this is what I wanted, I know I promised Emma but I don't think I can carry on any longer. I found a pen and some paper and wrote to the boys, telling them I was sorry and how much they truly mean to me. I wrote to luke individually, I told him he is the love of my life and I've never loved someone as much as I love him. I spoke about our favourite memories together and how I will cherish them forever. I then explained everything that's going on in my head, and how he was not to blame himself. He had to move on with his life, forget I ever happened. It's what's best for him. I've decided I don't want to take pills this time, every time I've done that it's failed me, so I've taken one of the big kitchen knives from the drawer and that's what I'm going to use. If I do it right they won't be able to stitch it back up, and I'll just bleed out. I know it's probably the most painful option but I've been living in pain all my life, so it's not much different. I was sat on our bed, when I heard the door open and the boys voices come flooding in. My heart began to race as I tried to run to the bathroom with the knife, I don't know who I ran past but I got there and locked the door.

"CHELSEA" I heard what I assumed was Jai shout.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING" He screamed.

I heard footsteps run up the stairs as Jai continued to shout. I hear Lukes voice getting louder and louder as he got more and more panicked.

"OPEN THE DOOR" he basically screamed.

I was confused and scared and all I could do was scream, I sat on the floor closed my eyes and just screamed until I had drowned everything out. I looked up, the door was being pushed, I could see it moving from the inside and all of a sudden it broke down and 4 police officers and 2 paramedics came running in. They didn't come to close to me, as I had a knife in my hand, I wasn't going to harm them I just wanted to die.

"Put it down Chelsea" one of the officers said.

"CHELSEA DO WHAT HE SAYS" luke shouted.

I cried down into my chest, I held the knife to my wrist and was so ready to go. One of the police officers had taken his gun out. I didn't know if he was going to shoot me or what but I didn't care.

"SHOOT ME" I screamed.

"NO" Luke screamed at me.

"Put the knife down chelsea" he asked again.

So I did, it dropped to the floor as I waited to be shot at. I didn't get shot or hurt in anyway, the I curled up o the floor and cried hysterically into the tiles. I was screaming but I didn't know what at, I was so confused and unstable.

"Come on, let's go" one of the paramedics said to me.

She took my hand and helped me up, we walked down the stairs to where the rest of the boys had been told to stay. I was shaking uncontrollably, luke tried to talk to me but the paramedics rushed me out.

What had I done?

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Hello loves,

IM BACK BITCHES !! sorry for being away for so long, I needed time to sort my head.
Remember to comment while you read, and comment 'luke loves stevie' if you read this heheh!!!

I love u guys!! Get this story to 200K?? That would be amazing!!

xoxo

Stevie