Revelations an adaption of Pride and Prejudice

Chapter 114

Having been with Nick again just a few days ago, and in private, has really heartened Anne immeasurably, and she can use some heartening for it has been exactly one month since her last monthly bleeding. Dora has assured Anne she has seen to the necessary supplies, but Anne is not so sure about doctor Parker's pills, they'll undoubtedly keep her from real suffering, but what else will they do?

'Do you think I should tell the housekeeper, Dora? Warn her I will be indisposed for several days?'

'Why no, Miss! You're so much better now, there may be no need. You may not suffer so badly anymore, many things have changed.'

That is certainly true, Anne has been stuck in her deplorable situation for years, even this may have changed with her improved physical condition.

'All right, let's see what happens then. Plan for the worst and hope for the best. You can always explain to the good lady if things get bad.'

'I'll be there for you, Miss, you know that. But let's hope for the best, I like seeing you so lively and happy.'

Alas, Dora's hope proves in vain; exactly when Anne expects it the first signs of her monthly affliction announce another ordeal. Profuse bleeding and moderately painful cramps have Anne unwilling to leave her own room, and she knows the pain will get worse. Unable to eat, she sends Dora to excuse her for dinner, she doesn't feel like eating at all and merely hopes things will not get much worse. But of course they do, and within half an hour she is writhing in agony as she hasn't been for years, mother's doctor may have nearly killed her with his bloodlettings, his powders did work. Sitting, lying down, walking about, nothing gives relief, Anne knows these cramps will go on for two days at least, and all this time she will have to stay alert to change her rags in time to prevent a bloody mess. All her optimism of the last week drains away, and soon Anne is lost in tears, but not so far as to not feel the pain anymore. Muffling her sobs in her pillow, Anne feels as forlorn as she ever has. Dora knows not to bother her mistress in this state, Anne has always resisted a hired help comforting her as the ultimate humiliation, so now the gentle maid merely checks on her every hour to see whether she is still reasonably all right and bearing up.

There is no-one to comfort her, she wouldn't even want Nick to see her this way, it's so demeaning to be biting one's pillow in agony. Though a friendly touch of a sister or mother might have helped a tiny bit. Anne wouldn't know, she has never known real, selfless love from anyone after her father died, and doesn't remember having been ill before that happened. Dora comes in to check on her pile of rags, finds her mistress even worse than she feared and dares comment, 'Didn't you get pills from that new doctor, Miss? Please let me fetch a cup of water to take one, I cannot bear to see you like this for two days! Mrs Annesley is very worried about you, Miss.'

'I don't dare take those pills, Dora. I think they're opium based, and I'm afraid to start doing or seeing disturbing things. Maybe you can find a powder like I used to have at Rosings.'

'I will try, Miss, right away.'

And the poor girl flees.

Anne cannot care, she is in so much pain, all she can think of is to curl up and hope to faint, but of course she is not given that release. Her slight but stronger body is still racked with pain, it's as if she is better able to generate pain because she is stronger, but she knows that isn't true, it's the powder she used to take, that took at least the edge off the pain.

Tossing and turning on the bed she loses all consciousness of the world around her, she becomes pain, until strong hands lift her upright and she is offered a sip of water from a cup, which she accepts gratefully. Then she feels a hand putting a pill in her mouth, and offering more water. It's Frederick, and he is insistent! Anne doesn't want the pill, she struggles and tries to get rid of it, spits it out.