Revelations an adaption of Pride and Prejudice

Chapter 99

Anne wakes at the sound of the cock crowing. It's five, there is still time. Nick is curled up against her, he is awake, too. They kiss in the dark, and fondle a little more, reluctant to let go of the other. But it has to be done, and Anne gets up, dons her nightgown, then kisses him one last lingering time.

'Half an hour before breakfast this time, Miss?' he asks. 'I don't think I'll manage an hour, though I suppose you will by now. You've grown so strong in just a few days.'

'I should, I've been ravenous all this time. Next I'll grow fat.'

'You will be the most beautiful woman in the world if you do.'

It's a physical thrill to have him compliment her outrageously, almost as if he loves her. Another kiss, and she leaves to find her own room. She'll tell the girls she moved to her own room because she couldn't sleep.

Nick sees her go with intense regret. It's wrong to do this to a noble girl, a virgin, she should be worshipped from afar, not desecrated by his touch. But she wants it so badly, and he can't help himself. She is getting more beautiful every day, she was out of his league to start with but she's going to find out soon how men worship true beauty. With her name and fortune added, suitors will be thick as fleas on a street cur. Fortunately she is gaining confidence to match, no gentleman will find her an easy prey. For days now, Nick has been telling himself that he is doing her a favour by teaching her how to love, but in his heart he knows he's taking advantage of her innocence, of her desperate need for love. It's a despicable thing to do, but she has been so good to him and he does love her, however hopelessly. He is going to give her as much insight in men as he can, to have her make the best possible choice of husband when the proposals start coming in.

At least she's not falling for him, however painful the realisation is. Yesterday it seemed as if she was, but that must have been his imagination running wild, those damned pills. Now she is very business-like, taking step after step towards a goal of her own devising. She may be using him instead, he has no clue. Maybe she's not as innocent as he thinks, just starved for love.

It's drizzling when they step outside, Nick hasn't told anyone he was going out, no need with him being on sick-leave. Miss Anne may have told someone, but most likely no-one was up yet. Never mind, they'll be back in half an hour. The park is too far, but he knows a nice lane where people have large gardens. He heads in the opposite direction from last time, and she follows. At least she's happy to see him, her eyes are shining and her smile dazzling. Never mind, he tells himself, they're not for you anyway. But he remembers her in his arms, her hands stroking him everywhere, his ardour barely contained.

'I'm moving in with my cousin as soon as you are back to work, Nick. Mr Manners proposed to me yesterday, he wants me to consider a marriage of mutual interest.'

That's hard to hear before breakfast, and so casually mentioned. As if she plans to have eggs instead of toast. Good, his dismay doesn't show, for she continues, 'He's like you, not interested in a lasting relationship, but he wants to get married for propriety. I don't love him, but I like him a lot, I could do much worse, and my cousins and uncle will certainly approve of him. He knows everybody and wants me to join him in what he calls the society game. I'm interested, I'm eager to get to know him.'

So little time left. But she is right, Mr Manners is a good match, prudentially. No serenades from him, apparently, but he seems kind, and very likely to treat Miss Anne well, despite planning to continue his philandering and telling her outright. They walk on in silence, it feels good to just be together like this, the gardens are a bit dreary this time of the year but the houses are nice to watch. And she'll stay until he is back to work, she has been such a trooper, like the doctor said. At least he is certain she likes him.