Revelations an adaption of Pride and Prejudice

Chapter 93

She kissed a man without being married to him. And still she is not dying of shame, on the contrary, she wants more, and soon. Examining her feelings, she has to conclude that though she likes Nick more than she ever thought she could like a servant, she is not infatuated with him. His easy assurance that he sleeps with a lot of different women, preferable noble ones, and has no wish to marry and have children, does not hurt her. It doesn't even shock her.

Instead, she tries to remember that moment in the little patch of brush, and finds the memory very vivid indeed.

A knock on the door pulls her out of her thoughts, and she gives Dora permission to enter. Fifteen minutes later she is dressed for company, and her hair is done up beautifully instead of practically. Anne is overjoyed to find her body recuperated from the morning's fatigue, she can get up easily without feeling dizzy, and she almost skips down the staircase to join the family at the breakfast table.

Mr Manners' announced visit is soon the subject of the conversation, and Anne discovers every single member of the family thinks he is coming to pay court to Miss Anne de Bourgh. And yet Anne cannot remember his giving her undue attention, especially not in public. He has treated her with respect and friendship, but Mr Manners treats everyone that way.

Finding herself on the other side of the fence, now convinced he is not in love with her, she can only just suppress a fit of laughter. She'll tell him, of course, and then it's his own choice to treat her with less warmth in public, or just let the people talk. People will do that anyway, so why should she let them lead her life for her? But maybe Mr Manners values their opinion more than Anne does. After what happened yesterday, and this morning, Anne cannot bring herself to care much about anything other people do or think anymore. She is going to enjoy herself, and though she will try to escape public exposure, fear of it will not hold her back from living life.

Be that as it may, Anne does not try to stop the bantering about her influence on one of the most respected gentlemen in town, she'll still marry him if he were to ask. Maybe. And being part of a family is nice. Although things in this family are not as they should be with the daughters ruling the roost, the mother insensible with drink most of the time, and the father trying to make everything work besides handling his trading affairs, there is a distinct warmth here. The Blackwood family may not be as rich as Anne's family, they are respectable, and Mr Blackwood certainly does his best to maintain a solid front towards the outside world. Anne bets no-one outside this house knows of Mrs Blackwood's little problem, and Nick keeps the girls in line in the more public places.

As they flatter Anne with the critical eye she has managed to catch, she smiles and accepts the compliments for what they are worth. She teases Sophie and Angelina in their turn, and Mr Blackwood beams to have such a nice family breakfast. By now Anne is reasonably sure that with her influence on Mr Manners and Mr Blackwood she can save Nick from infamy, whatever happens. If it's the worst, he may have to find other employment, but at least he will be able to find it, for she will make sure he'll get his references, and good ones.

After breakfast the girls retreat to their bedroom and start planning their next outing, Anne's first, a simple dance with just the three of them, Maria, Leonora and their retainers. Anne wonders whether she will have her own guard, too, she has not seen the second Blackwood servant around the house, he must be from the stables, or maybe even a hired guard. Mr Manners will want to know where they get him, for he will be a possible leak to the press, not being close to any of the girls.

'Do you want to invite Mr Manners to our dance, Anne?' Sophie asks, innocently.

'Don't be ridiculous, Sophie! If he finds out he won't want to marry Anne, or he'll make a fuss and spoil things for all of us. Then papa won't need Nick anymore, and you'll never see him again in your whole life! Papa will probably force you to marry a gross old man. He'll do that anyway, but at least you will have had some fun before you have to breed heirs until you get old and fat.'