Avengers Imagines

Thor | Selfish (Plus A/N)

I lay on the bed that felt like solid ground, staring into the darkness of my tent. I could barely see the shadows from the flickering torches outside, and yet all I could think of was the girl who was probably asleep in her rent a mere three away from mine.

What if she was hurt tomorrow because of my selfishness? I had brought this war upon myself and I was scared that if it did end badly, it would not be my blood on the battlefield, but hers.

I sat up, the darkness continuing to envelop me. How I wished that I was just lying outside, carefree and under the guiding light of the stars.

After my mother's death, the thought of the ever present, ever looming darkness that would be inflicted simply by the penetrating of skin, scared me.

I kicked my blanket off me, feeling the cold rush to my skin. I sat there for a moment, legs out, bent slightly at the knee as my elbows pushed out against them, my hands cradling my head. An ever present frown found its way on my face. I hated responsibility. I hated that everything I did had to have a consequence. I remembered when I was full of myself and I wasn't capable of guilt or reason. I had never thought of death and mental anguish. But here I was, in the darkness of my battle tent, an internal conflict raging in me all because I'd grown up. I hated that conflict was intensified by her because it meant I had weakness.

I threw myself out of that position and off the bed. I landed on my feet, stepping carelessly onto the scrunched up blanket. I could barely see around me, but I knew the direction of the exit and where the matches were.

I lit one before sharing its flame with my torch. The light filled my surroundings and my eyes and I immediately stalked to the exit.

*****

I flung the tent flaps open and stepped out, pinning it back.

The guards that were stationed in front of my tent were still there, standing at attention, their heads turned to me.

"Can you not sleep, my king?" one asked.

I shook my head. "I forgot I had to do something," I mumbled as I walked forward, my exposed toes kicking up dirt and grass.

I hadn't meant to injure the landscape. I picked up my feet more gingerly, trying my best to avoid suspicion as well.

After reaching the fourth tent from my central one, I peeled back the curtain that represented a door. The light had flickered through and I required a peace of mind, eve if it meant sending her away from the battlefield.

But as I stepped through, I noticed the innocence on her face and the slow rise and fall of her torso, accompanying her breathing. I stopped short, unsure as whether to retreat or blow out her torch first. I did the latter, creeping across her tent before extinguishing the flame. It was then that I heard a soft groan. I turned, the tent still illuminated by my own torch.

She looked at me, still innocent, but trying to hide it with a mask that I liked to watch crumble.

"What are you doing here?" she mumbled as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She looked at me again, her eyes gleaming with curiosity.

I edged closer to her before kneeling in front of her, beside her bed. "I'm sorry I woke you up," I told her.

She shook her head, yawning. "Did you need something?"

I hesitated. A lump formed in my throat. On one hand, I wanted her back and safe in Midgard, but on the other hand, I wanted her here with me. The two battled in my mind and I finally gave up with a sigh. "No." I was being selfish.

She reached out from under the blanket and touched my face. I leaned into it, relishing in the feeling. I loved the way her little actions could speak more emotion than a thousand words. I sighed again as her peace overtook me.

I too reached forward, cupping her face, my larger hands much more capable. "I love you."

She smiled, still looking tired. "Is that why you're here? To tell me sometime I already know?" she teased, dropping her hand. I fought the urge to make her return it, missing the contact already. "I love you too," she added.

I leaned forward to simply press my forehead against hers. "I don't want to lose you."

She seemed to smile. "You won't."

I took in a deep breath as I moved back, resting on my knees. "And that's why you need to return to Midgard." Before she could speak, I continued. "I can't be selfish with you. I want you here, but I am not willing to risk you for myself. You shall leave with Sif in the morning."

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Hiiiiii

I'm making a Loki series that's essentially the extended / expanded version of the miniseries that you guys seemed to like before.

It's called Glass and I'd really appreciate it if you read it :)

Also, I hate to do this, but people who've sent in requests (when requests was open) and I haven't done them, can you just send me a quick message? This time I've got a better system of getting them completed lol k thanks guys! <3

Love you all!!!
Xx

P.s. Sorry for such sparse updates. I'm juggling a heck load of school right now!