Poison in my veins (BoyxBoy)

a heart that still beats

JJ•

My head feels like someone's smashing it with a hammer,my eyes burning from the constant stream of sad liquid that falls from them.

My whole body shakes and shivers as whimpers and whines leave my lips,the image of my bad boy lying there replaying in my mind over and over and over again.

A movie on repeat,the worst movie I've ever seen replaying again and again.

press play...stop...rewind...press play...stop...rewind...

I scream.

I scream for what feels like hours,days and months feeling like they all blur into one as if feels like my yells go on forever.

I scream and scream and scream,pain surging through me like I've never felt before in my entire life as this is so painful.

Pain I've felt yes but this is crippling,so powerful and big it fills me up so much to the point I feel I might explode.

A toy that breaks after you pull on it too much.

Teddy bear who's stitches come undone when a child rips them apart from too much love.

skin popping open to release all my insides,bones and organs all splattered together in pretty bright red wet paint

I scream and scream and scream as it feels this pain will never end,no one to take it away or numb it so I won't feel anything anymore.

I scream for what feels like years,excruciating pain I've never before and now I feel it as strongly as If I was stabbed.

I scream his name repeatedly,begging for him to hear me and swoop in to save me from this horrible nightmare that hurts more than words can explain.

Hands suddenly grab me,touching my arms which makes me start screaming more as I pull away.

"NO!"

More sad liquid falls like rain down my face,so so much it makes me smile when I imagine myself drowning in them.

Alice in wonderland crying so much when she shrunk,floating around in the little glass bottle as she wishes to herself she didn't cry so many tears.

The hands grab me again,strong hold as they touch my shoulders now along with my arms.

"DONT TOUCH ME!"

I pull away and scream,my head pounding harder as it feels now like multiple hammers bashing my brains in.

red brick wall so sturdy and strong,bash your skull against it hard till you hear a crack and feel lightheaded

do it again

The hands grab me once more,traveling upward as they touch my cheeks and I pull away like they burned me.

"STOP!"

I yell,begging internally for this pain to stop.

shoot me in the head or the mouth,trigger between teeth as I'm gone in one quick BANG

kick me in the ribs,so hard they crack in two and my body shuts down

suffocate me with something,pillow over face or bag tied around my head so no more air can seep deep into my lungs

end it now,make it stop cause I can't handle it

Killing me would be a mercy,less pain than what I feel now as the image of his dead body rolls around and around my brain like a kid on a carousel.

wheels on the bus go round and round round and round round and rounddddd

CRASH

bus crashes and the wheels stop,no survivors in the scene as it happens on impact