Poison in my veins (BoyxBoy)

the boy who fixed me

JG•

I try,every night I try so hard it aches.

Trying desperately to stop the bad and sad images from dancing around in never ending circles in my head,trying to will them away cause they hurt me more than I can say.

I try to wish them away,falling stars with glitter dust that mean nothing as it falls to earth and you can practically feel your wish slipping away just like that.

Stars that glittered and glistened oh so Beautifully,little specks of magic that I sometimes used to stay up all night to catch in jars and hide in my room.

Wishes are useless cause they never come true,words you whisper late at night to Someone in another universe that is listening as you pray for them to grant whatever it is you want with all your heart.

I try so hard,wanting them to leave more than words can explain and actions can show.

Bad things that dwell in dark corners of my mind that I only pull out when the evil in me wants out,only think of when the monster in me needs to be let out of his cage.

I try to make them leave,honestly with every piece of my soul I do cause I want them gone.

want them need them please please make them leave

I try and try and try and try and I fail and fail and fail and fail.

try and fail try and fail failure failure you're just a failure

I try,but they never leave.

They bury deeper so I think they're gone,hiding in dusty memories I haven't thought of for awhile or bad flashbacks I hate to relive.

They hide...and wait.

Wait for me to let my guard down,become relaxed and at ease enough to let my guard down which when I do they slip out to play.

come play come play we wanna play with you and drive you even crazier than you already are

They love to swirl in circles,claw my brain so they seep in deep and have their fun by making me terrified.

That's the way they work,they're predators that chase their prey.

Lions after sheep,sharks after blood,murderers looking for victims in parks so late.

Candy vans looking for children,evil men in alleyways with cigarettes that watch young girls who are all alone and need a hero that'll surely end up being a villain in the end.

That's how the bad images work,they kill me inside like a poison that no one can suck out.

No shots can help me,no medicine to numb the bruise and stings.

I am the children,they are the evil adults who emotionally damage them.

I am the sheep,they're the lion that rips them apart.

I am the kid who cried in the corner for my parents to stop before they made me what I am,they're the ones who laughed like clowns with evil painted faces and kept going.

let's hurt him more,let's fuck with his head more and see how long it takes to drive him insane

It runs in the family,insanity is in the genes like blue eyes or brown hair or long fingers.

Others have nice genes,you may get your mothers long brown hair and your fathers pretty hazel eyes and the way you laugh may sound just like your aunt on your mothers side.

I don't have those genes,insanity and violent tendencies and bad thoughts and...other things...better left unsaid.

Those run in my genes,in every ounce of my body and soul that's the genes my familys blessed me with.