Whatever It Takes

Chapter 83

One Two Three Four tell me that you love me more.. Sleepless, long nights that was what my youth was for.
Old teenage hopes are alive at your door, left you with nothing but they want some more..
Oh, oh, oh you're changing your heart.
--Feist



"I'm sorry." Meredith mumbled out as she walked up to her house that evening with Finn trailing behind her quietly as if he had a lot on his mind.. "About my mother.."

"Oh." Was all he mumbled out..

"She's kind of like that with everyone.. well I mean she did like Derek but even before everything she was like that with him and she's just a very hard person to please so don't take what she says personal."

"Right." He mumbles out again..

"So I had a good evening.. I hope you weren't too miserable wearing a tux all night." She smiled out as she opened her front door..

"No." he said with half a smile "The tux wasn't the problem."

"Oh?" she asked turning to him seeing his troubled expression.. he pressed his lips together and let out a heavy sigh..

"You and Derek." He stuttered out..

"Yeah I know.. we're good friends.. its weird.. but it is what it is so.." she waved off..

"Except its not." He said a little sternly causing her to furrow her brow..

"What?"

"You're not just friends are you." He asks honestly.. she opens her mouth ready to defend herself when her tongue suddenly feels tied in knots and her voice cut off..

"Finn." She squeaks out shaking her head...

"Its ok." He says through a fake smile "I mean we never said we were exclusive."

"Oh.. ok." She mumbles out feeling her hands relax at her sides...

"I said we weren't exclusive.. I didn't say I wasn't pissed off." She feels a knot grow in her stomach as she looks at the angry look in his eyes "I know I said I don't get angry.. but.. maybe sometimes I do."

"Finn."

"I don't need you to explain Meredith, I'm not blind. And despite what your mother says I am intelligent.. I thought it was ok with you guys being so close.. great even... but there's a line.. and when a man comes back from out of the room with lipstick on the collar of his shirt that doesn't match his date.. the line's being crossed."

"Crap." She mutters under her breath..

"You don't need to explain.. I do."

"You do?" she asks confused and surprised he's not reaming her and speaking calm.. almost too calm.

"I do." He says tilting his head and looking softly at her "We aren't anything right now.. we're just getting to know each other.. and I get why.. I get that you need to move slow.. but just so you know.. I care a lot about you. And... in fact, I'm falling in love with you Meredith."

"Finn." She gasped as tears started to well in her eyes..

"And that's something I never thought I would feel for anyone other than my wife.. its big Meredith. But I need you.. If what you want is Derek.. I need you to stop me. If you need time to think, then think.. I'll give you the space you need.. but please.. don't let me love you if you cant love me back."

She stood there shocked and breathless at his confession with tears welling in her eyes.. he reached out and cupped her face delicately in her hands.. she inhaled sharply as she felt his lips crash down against hers..

His lips gently entangling with hers softly lingering over them in a sweet passionate kiss. He stepped back from her enough to look deeply into her eyes before turning and walking to the door leaving her there motionless... he stopped at the door and turned to look at her.

"And about Derek." He said sternly "I don't want to persuade you one way or another.. and I don't know what his intentions are, he may really care about you too, or he may just be in it for the passion. But he's hurt you Meredith.. and if you let him, he can hurt you again. But me.. I will never hurt you, I wont ever leave you for another, and if you let me.. I will always love you."

She stood there in tears and blurred vision as he let himself out that night.. she felt an overwhelming turmoil churning inside of her as she finally turned and walked to her bed that night with too many thoughts to sleep.