Whatever It Takes

Chapter 80

And none of these thoughts are real.So why is it that I feel so cut up and so bad,
I need to take control, coz my mind is on a roll..And it isn't listening to me.
--JEM



Derek was fidgeting around in his tux that he didn't want to be in, in the first place. These things were overrated and a waste of time. The only time he enjoyed them was when he shared the night with Meredith. Sure she would be there but it just wasn't the same.

He was waiting for his date to arrive and walked up to the punch bowl which had a perfect view of the entrance of the grand ballroom inside of The Westin hotel in Seattle.

He was secretly wishing that the last 5 years had been a huge nightmare and that his date was Meredith.. but the tap on his shoulder told him no such luck.

"Have you seen Meredith?" Finn asked.. Derek furrowed his brow as he scanned the room quickly even though he knew she wasn't there, if she were he would have known already.

"Uh, no." he mumbles with a shrug..

Finn turns to look around the room again and Derek glances at the door when suddenly his eyes are captivated by the beautiful creature walking in the door.

His breath is caught in his chest as he sees her gracefully walking in, her golden hair in a loose updo with a simple curl hanging down the back of her neck, the light blue-green dress she wore flowing perfectly around her body hugging it just right yet making her look so angelic.

He watched as their eyes met from across the room and locked onto each other, a slight smile brushed her lips as her eyes danced and sparkled at him... he saw her eyes break away and watched as they focused on something else.. his stomach dropped into his gut as he watched out of the corner of his eye Finn walk up and wrap his arms around her...

He suddenly feels yanked back to reality and lets out a sigh as he turns and walks across the room and out onto the veranda wanting some fresh air... only a few other people were out there talking getting some air as well. He leaned against the railing trying to gain back the breath that felt kicked out of him when he saw another man touching her with his hands and closed his eyes for a few moments...

"Hey stranger." He heard in a familiar voice.. he smiled and turned to see a gorgeous red head wearing an emerald colored evening gown walking up to him..

"Addison." He breathed as he reached out and hugged her...

Addison Forbes Montgomery had grown up with Derek, she was friends with Meredith as well and was like one of his sisters. She was the foremost neonatal surgeon on the east coast and traveled all over the country for her services. When Derek knew he had to find a date for the ball he thought about asking one of his sisters not wanting to ask someone that wanted more out of it than an evening out, then thought of Addi. She was thrilled to be his date seeing as her schedule was free and was hoping to catch up with Meredith on her visit as well. And all though Derek was a good looking guy, she had always had her heart set on someone else...

"So how was the flight?" he asked

"It was long, barely gave me enough time to throw myself together."

"Well you look beautiful." He smiled "Have you talked to Mom lately?"

"Last week." She replied "And she's worried about you, and so am I." Derek let out a sigh as he rolled his eyes..

"There's nothing to worry about, I'm fine."

"Then why are you out here looking all droopy when the party is inside?"

"Just needed some air." He said faking a smile...

"Needed some air, or needed to breathe after seeing your wife in another man's arms?" she asked... he looked at her and sighed..

"Is it that obvious."

"Its obvious that you still love her." She replied "But does she feel the same? Because loving someone that doesn't love you back is one of the most painful things-"

"We've been having break up sex." He blurted out.. her face fell and she widened her eyes...

"Oh." She whispered out "Well, what does it mean?"

"I don't know." He sighed "A part of me wants to believe it was just a moment of weakness, just a slip of character. Because when we're not together she acts as if, as if it didn't happen.. like we're just friends... but.."

"But you're not just friends."

Derek leaned over the railing and let out a heaving sigh as he looked out into the night sky and pressed his lips together...

"Sometimes, when she looks at me.. its like her eyes still sparkle. Its like she's asking me to make her believe in us again."

"Have you?"

"No." he frowned "She asked me not to, I mean I've mentioned things but I don't want to push her away."

"Derek." She sighed as she put her arm around his shoulder "Sometimes, you have to run a big risk, meaning losing the one you love, in order to get what you want."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that this good guy act you're putting up, is making you miserable. And you need to put up more of a fight to get the woman you love back, even if it means possibly losing her."

Derek felt the inner turmoil inside of him grow as he pressed his lips together.. he let out a strong sigh and turned to her..

"You sound like mom." He smirked.

"You know its not good to insult your date." She said with a slight giggle..

"So I'm surprised Mark hasn't stolen you from me yet."

"He's to busy making his way around the dance floor." She giggled "He's still the same old Mark."

"The same old Mark that you love." He teased.. "So no marriage proposals yet?"

"There's been a few." She mumbled..

"Really?" he asked surprised.. "You said no?"

"I told him that he needed to grow up first." She replied... "And he's not willing to do that yet."

"Mark may never grow up, you do realize that."

"Then I guess you and I are going to grow old alone." She laughed..

"This is true." He chuckled... he let out a sigh and smiled "Well I'm wasting my date on cold air and depressing talk, would you like to dance."

"I would love to."