Whatever It Takes

Chapter 73

Funny how the things you need will find you...
The things you want will leave you wanting some more..
Everything that comes along reminds you.. you can either rise above or you can hit the floor.
--Vanessa Carlton




"Wow." He said a little baffled as he sat on the couch next to her in his house after having decided to cook for her after all "So is the baby ok?"

"Yeah." She said bitter sweetly "The father seems to be a good guy and though it was a mistake or whatever he seems to genuinely care about the little guy... he should make a full recovery and go home later this week."

"That must have been really hard for you." He said sadly looking over at her "I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you."

"You would want to help me?" she asked surprised...

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I mean I don't know.. I guess I just.. we.. we never talked about the kid thing.. I never thought about what you would do if I were to have a kid.. so I wasn't sure how you would act."

"Well we can talk about the kid thing now." He said... "And so you know, I love kids... Liz and I.. my wife... I'm sorry I keep talking about her don't I?"

"Its ok." She giggled "She's a part of your past.. just like Derek-"

She stopped feeling herself start to think about him.. it had been 52 minutes since she last thought of him and she didnt want to start now.. especially not with Finn in the room.. she didnt want to feel guilty over something that was so clearly nothing.

'Yeah." He smiled "Well we always planned on having kids... we wanted a ton of them.. we started to try but then there was the cancer... and she was gone so quickly..."

"I'm sorry." She said reaching over and squeezing his hand...

"But being with someone that has a child wouldn't bother me." He smiled wanting to change the subject slightly "If you wanted kids later on it wouldn't be a problem with me."

Meredith felt her heart plummet into her chest as her face fell as well as turned 5 shades of white...

"Finn." She croaked out "I cant have kids... you know that right... because if you don't.. and if you saw me as a part of your future.. you need to know.. I cant have kids."

"Oh... right." He said "Well I thought maybe you would eventually adopt or something.. and I just wanted you to know that if you wanted kids to be a part of your future in any aspect that I would be supportive of that."

"Oh." She breathed out...

She really wasn't up for trying adoption again... not after that slap in the face... and having kids any other way was all but impossible and she just... never really saw it happening with anyone but Derek...

"Well that's a bridge that's not close to being crossed."

"Ok." He smiled as he put his arm around her and pulled her to lay her head on his shoulder.. he kissed the top of her head and whispered "I'm glad I came back."

"Yeah." She whispered back as she stared at the flickering fire feeling a knot grow in her throat "Me too."