Lynx Book 2: A Callie Torres Story

41

Everything passed by like a blur and Jada just wanted Callie.

Jada just needed Callie.

Jada had been sitting in a recovery room for a few hours zoning in and out while she waited to be released. Callie had been into her room off and on, but hadn't come in when she was awake yet.

She was exhausted, emotionally drained, and defeated. As much as Jada just wanted to be cuddled up beside Callie, she had no idea what she would say to her wife. Jada felt like a total disappointment.

Callie had been so excited for their son, even more so than Jada. She knew how badly Callie wanted a baby of her own, and decided to try. Jada knew how heartbroken and devastated Callie was when she was told there was little to no chance of her possibly carrying another baby. And Jada had failed in the worst way.

Jada was trying her hardest to hold herself together. From what her mom and the nurses had said, it seemed like Callie already knew what happened. Her and Callie had just lost their unborn son and Jada wanted to stay strong for Callie. She didn't want Callie comforting her when she should be the one comforting Callie.

After Jada came out of surgery and Jess had brought Sofia to the hospital, Michelle had taken Sofia down to the daycare to allow Jada the opportunity to speak with Callie alone. Leaning her head back into the pillow, Jada sighed and began to cry.

She felt like the worst. Jada had been so awful to Callie early in their relationship. Her career consumed her life, she ran from Callie multiple times, she'd let another woman kiss her and nearly finger her, and now she had just lost their baby. When Jada felt down in the dumps like this, she couldn't fathom what Callie saw in her.

But Callie had chosen to look past her mental health battle, her cheating, and the extremely time consuming career she had built herself. Jada never understood why. Callie could have any man or woman in the world. She had everything going for her, the looks, the charisma, and the job. The girl was absolutely stunning.

Instead, Callie had chosen to love her for who she was even with the baggage. And sometimes Jada couldn't wrap her head around the reasons why Callie had fallen for her instead of someone that could be perfect for her.

Jada wanted to, but also didn't want to see Callie. She wanted to be wrapped up in Callie's arms, but she didn't want to talk about everything that happened. Jada knew Callie would ask and that Callie would be there to comfort and support her and to tell her everything was okay.

Jada wanted to do that for Callie. With being with Callie for over two years now, Jada knew that wasn't going to happen. Callie was loving, loyal, and selfless and she would always put Jada first.

While Jada had been thinking about Callie, she missed the light knocking on the hospital room door. So she had been startled when the door opened and in walked Callie.

It was obvious she hadn't been prepared for Callie's sudden arrival, and Jada knew that Callie picked up on that. In a few quick moments, Callie had crossed the room and was now sitting beside her in the hospital bed.

"Come here Jaelynn."

Jada tried to protest, feeling like she should be comforting Callie, but Callie's strong arms easily overpowered her and she was now leaning her head against Callie's chest.

"I'm here babe," Callie whispered quietly. "I'm here, everything is going to be okay."

Hearing Callie comforting her broke Jada even more. She broke down and began to sob into Callie.

"I'm sorry baby," Jada blurted out between a muffled sob.

"What are you sorry for?" Callie asked, clearly taken aback by the statement.

"I let you down," Jada answered. "I'm sorry."

"Jaelynn, you did not-"

"I did Callie, and I know you're upset. I can't be the person you deserve and I'm sorry for that."

Jada felt herself sitting up and Callie's strong hands clasp down on her shoulders. "Jaelynn, nothing that happened was your fault. And you know that. I-"

"I let you down Callie."

Callie gave up trying to get Jada to look at her and instead settled to pull Jada back against her chest. "You did not let me down sweetheart. Why do you think that?"

"I know how much you want to have a baby of our own and I could do it, and I miscarried, and now it's my fault that we're not going to have a second child," Jada rambled.

"I am not disappointed in you at all Jaelynn. I'm really proud of you. You were so brave and so strong through your pregnancy, I can't be more proud of you."

"But how are you..." Jada trailed off before finding her words. "How are you... not mad at me?"

"Things happen Jaelynn," Callie answered softly. "I work in a hospital, I see a lot of things that happen including miscarriages. They are more common than you think." She took a moment. "It does suck, it really does," Callie pointed out. "I miss our son, even though he wasn't born yet. But none of this was your fault. You did nothing wrong and unfortunately, things like this do end up happening."

"I just feel like I let you down," Jada repeated.

"There's nothing you can do that will make me feel like you let me down. We have a beautiful little girl and I am so thankful to be with you and to be a parent with you."

Callie continued. "I love you sweetheart. We are going to get through this. Having another baby might not be in the cards for us. But we have each other and we have Sofia. And I'm pretty damn grateful for both of you girls."

"You're sure you're not mad at me?"

"Never."

Jada nodded. "I love you too Calliope."

Guys a customer got so excited when she saw my Calzona pin on my lanyard at work and it made me so happy!