You're okay love 🤍

December 12th*

<3 so much pain for someone so young

⚠️TW:
talks of suicide

December 12

1 more day....

"Please....pretty please Min.." Jisung clung onto his boyfriends arm as he tried to convince him to going out. "I wanna go on a date with you."

Minho paused and turned around to look at his boyfriend. "Is today special? Did I forget something?" Minho started to panic thinking about their anniversary or birthday.

"No, no you didn't forget anything. I just wanna spend time with you. That's all." Jisung's heart broke at the smile Minho gave him. Because he knew around this time tomorrow he won't be here. Minho won't smile like this.

"Fine, but I get to pick where we go." Minho excitedly turned around going towards the room to freshen up.

This was going to their last date

........

"Say Ahh~" Minho held the spoon close to jisung's lips, waiting for the other to open. Jisung put his fork down to grab Minho's utensil. But the other pulled it away before he got it.

"What are you doing! I'm feeding you. Now say Ahh~" Minho went again towards jisungs lips.

This time the younger opened widely accepting the spoon full of food. Minho watched in adoration as jisungs cheeks puffed out.

"Soo... what would you like for Christmas Hannie?"minho went back to eating. Jisung on the other hand stopped.

"Nothing. I've already gotten everything I've ever wanted. Don't worry." Jisung smiled at lee know. And even though he says this he know the dancer is still going to buy a gift.

"You're boring. Well I want something this year." Minho placed his fork down and seriously looked at jisung. "I want to go see the lights near the Han river. Just us.." Minho smiled to himself as he imagined the night.

"What if I can't promise that?" Jisung looked up at Minho. The older had a confused look on his face.

"Did you already have plans?" Minho fixed himself in his seat getting a little embarrassed. "Sorry I got ahead of myself. I totally forgot about your plans."

"Hey, don't be sorry. I ... I just think I'll be busy that's all." Jisung felt bad. This night wasn't supposed to go like this.

"It's okay. Spending time with you now is enough. But you're for sure spending Christmas Eve with me and the rest of the boys." Minho gave a stern look at jisung before going back to eating.

.......

The two boys eventually got back home after a small walk. With their tummies full and sleep catching up to them, they decided to call in early.

Minho was in the shower while jisung was already laying down. But jisung suddenly felt like taking back everything. He didn't want to go through with his plan anymore. But he knows the moment he decides to stay, things will get worse.

Not just for him, but for everyone else.

......

Minho eventually got out of the shower and joined his boyfriend in bed. The two talked about some random things for a while before Minho started to get sleepy.

He kissed jisung good night and fell asleep quick after that. Jisung was left awake with a million thoughts going off in his mind. Seemed like another sleepless night. So he quietly got up and went to the living room. He forgot he had one more thing left to do.

Write each of them a letter.

This was the last thing they'll get form jisung in their life. Inside those letters where a million 'Thank you's', 'sorry's', and 'I love you's'. Jisung couldn't fit everything he wanted to say into one single piece of paper, but he did do his best to explain how it wasn't their fault. He wanted this.

Maybe it would've been better if jisung ended it earlier, before he'd met them. Because as time went on, and as he closer with them...he kind of liked the idea of staying and growing up with them. He finally had people who made him feel safe.

But as they got older, life got tougher. For all of them.

Then that's when jisung started to overthink everything again. Which then lead to the conclusion that maybe without him, things will get better. His family could care less about what he's going to do. But the one thing he didn't know for sure was, how were the 7 others were going to react....

Minho will never stop blaming himself. He would want to know where he went wrong. When In reality, it was jisung fault. It always was.

Jisung should've never fallen in love with Minho ..
or met the others.

Jisung sealed the last letter. He looked over to the clock.

5:45am December 13th

Today was the day.

Jisung got up and decided to make Minhos favorite breakfast one last time. After that.... Well, he's going to go home and end it where it all started.

......

I had a little trouble writing this chapter, hopefully I'm not losing you all. We're still in the past.

Also,

Please take care of yourself. Even though you might not know who I am, I worry about everyone. Thank you for reading, and for being here. Take a break, and eat something delicious today. You deserve it 💕

Sending love and millions of hugs your way
~Neveah 🤍