<3 I don't want to unlive my self or die. I just wanna disappear until I feel okay again.
(Flashback)
December 8
5 more days
Jisung crossed out the box for December 4 on his calendar. He hadn't noticed how the days went by faster.
That was a good thing for jisung...
Wasn't it?
On this particular day Felix had stopped by to drop off some brownies for the couple, but decided to stay to catch up with his twin. Minho was spending the day with his mom, leaving it to be just the two of them.
The two had made themselves comfortable at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and the container of brownies open. Felix had been rambling about Christmas presents and changbin. Don't get jisung wrong, he was listening..... but he couldn't help but realize that Felix wouldn't have someone to vent to when he's gone.
"Jisung bubs, we all should hangout this Christmas Eve!" Felix excitedly wiggled in his chair just thinking about his plan.
I don't plan on being here Felix
"Yeah, we should." Jisung took another guilty bite of his brownie. He could hear Felix begin talking about what he had plan.
And all jisung could do was smile and pretend he was going to be there.
......
"Hey lix, I have some shirts that I might give away." Jisung walked towards his shared room bringing the freckled boy along.
When Felix walked in he immediately noticed how tidy and clean the room was. Minho always told him how jisung desk was always messy. It wasn't. The only thing that stuck out was the shirts jisung had laid at on the bed.
"Ji, you love these shirts........ why are you giving them away?" Felix was confused. He's seen jisung wear these for years. The color was even fading for some of them.
"Oh, well I have a lot of clothes. You can have them just to wear around your apartment or something." Jisung looked over at Felix with a gentle smile.
"Yeah.... I'll take them, but if you ever want them back I promise you can have them." This didn't feel right to Felix. Jisung never gave away anything....
......
"Hey ji, imma start going home..." Felix could feel the weight on his shoulder get heavier. Jisung was beginning to fall asleep.
"C...can you please just stay.."jisung tried his best to hold onto Felix who was getting up. But for some reason his body was too tired to get up. Instead he fully laid down on the couch while holding Felix's hand.
"Don't go."
Felix could've easily slipped his hand out of jisung's, but he wasn't going to do that. He decided to stay a little longer, maybe until jisung fell asleep completely. Felix took a seat on the floor in front of the couch.
The T.V was off making the apartment quiet again. Jisung was still up, playing with Felix's hair.
That's when it hit jisung.... He'll never see Felix again.
He'll never see his best friend get married, have a family, or grow up to be one of the best dancers in South Korea.
He's going to miss all of that, because of his selfish decision. But jisung doesn't deserve felix. He'll only be doing him a favor by leaving.
Right?
"Jisung?"
"Yes felix?"
"Thank you for being my best friend."
I'm sorry
.....
This chapter is back in the past.
Hello!!! Finally the weekend had rolled around 💕
I love you all, thank you for making me happy
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Send love and hugs your way
~Nevaeh 🤍
YOU ARE READING
You're okay love 🤍
General FictionJisung was given another chance at life, but things aren't so easy. With his boyfriend Minho, and the rest of Straykids, they all have each other to get through their lives as adults. ✨Includes: Male pregnancy Suicidal thoughts/ attempt Self-harm...
