Life once more

Chapter 12 feeling

I watched Cody put the papers on the desk. He was still blushing, frowning at the papers like there nothing to him anymore. He picked me off the floor, I can feel my cheeks burn. He put me in his bed and went to his desk. I sat up and watched him brush his hair up with his hand. He started working on something in private that I couldn't see correctly.
"What type of formula are you working on?" I asked.
"Nothing important. You should try and go to sleep I'll be up till 12, maybe..." I stared at his hand that was drawing out new things and sometimes the old stuff. I rested my head onto his pillow, The softness of the pillow made me sleepyish. I closed my eyes and started to doze off a bit. Suddenly I hear something snap then a slam. I opened my eyes to see Cody fluttering with his hair, probably frustrated from the work hes doing. I can see the broken lead on the table. He started opening random drawers looking for a sharpener. But instead of a sharpener he pulls out a knife. I wanted to ask why he has it but I don't want to be to direct about it. He balenced it on his finger and stared at it the whole time. I don't want to see this any longer but nor do I want to leave him frustrated. I forced myself to turn over and lay on my side. I looked at the unturned on lamp on the dresser. I can't stop thinking about Cody cutting himself for being foolish of just doing that. I heard a clink like The knife fell. I started to panic But I didn't hear a ow or a sss-ing sound. The chair pulled out of the desk and pushed back in. I closed my eyes to make it look like I'm sleeping. I heard cody walking close to the bed. I wanted to peek but I know that would blow my cover. He stopped out of the blue and just stood somewhere. I hear the springs in the bed move a bit. I can feel his knuckles just edge my back a bit. I feel a kiss on my cheek, a gently one. I forced myself to turn over and look at him. When I looked him, he already know I was awake. "Your terrible at acting..." He told me. I smiled back at him knowing I have feeling for him now.
"I didn't know I was that bad!" He started to smirk at me. I just kept smiling back at him.
"Why?" He asked.
"Why what?"
"Why do I like you."
"Because you do." He started to chuckle a bit. I giggled.
"Well then you better go to sleep." He told me.
"Good idea." He kissed me on the lips this time. I can feel his hand on my face moving my hair to the back of my ear. I wanted more then this now, but he has work to do.
"Goodnight then." He said.
"Goodnight..." I replied. He got off the bed and walked away starting to work again. I tucked myself in to bed and soon started to doze off. I can see Cody finally focusing on his paper without braking his pencil or getting frusterated. Finally I felt warm inside and fell asleep. I had a mini dream of me and Cody but nothing serious happen. I woke up again to Cody getting into bed. It's embarrassing to be sharing a bed with a boy! The lights turned off and it became pitch dark, But I was able to see everything perfectly. I guess its a talent or something or its something that I did all the time. He got into the blanks, super close to me and got into a comfortable spot. I didn't want to intruded out of the blue but I now have feeling for him I don't know how but I just want to tell him again for no reason. Minutes pass and I was still hesitating on telling him or not. I finally disided to talk to him. I forced myself to try and talk to him, but he was already asleep. He was in a weird position, he was on his stomach with his arm underneath the pillow. Do all guys sleep in weird postions? I brushed the thought out of my head and went on to staring at him. I soon looked at my watch and it was 12:46. He wasn't joking about being up long. I went back on my side and tryed to go to sleep, but it's hard to sleep in this awkward situation. Suddenly Cody embraced me from in back of me, I was still on my side so it was a even more awkward. My cheeks started to burn a bit I know he was asleep but it felt like he was awake. He put his leg in between mine and he started to rub his head against mine. His hands started to slide down to my waist where his finger mets my skin. I pulled down my sweater really quickly and tryed to ignore him. But its hard to sleep when someone you barley know is putting there hands on you like they think they own you. I felt so perverted! I didn't want to push him away but this is going over the cliff by A LOT! I kept trying to ignore him but his hand kept sliding down. Soon his hand was at my thigh and I couldn't take it anymore. I sat up and turned the lamp on that was still on the dresser. I looked at him with my cheeks all burning and my sweat going down my neck. I stared at him for a long time wondering if I could ever go to sleep again. I wanted to cry right there, right now. I hugged my legs and just curled up right there.
"Abby..." He mumbled. I wonder what hes dreaming about? Ugh! Why does he make me this way! I can feel my heart pound at me like a hammer. I can't do this anymore Why did he have to sleep right next to me! I felt a tear rush down my face. I couldn't believe I was giving up on this already. I can't leave the room sense I'll probably get lost and no one will ever find me ever again. "So your still awake?" I was dumbfounded from how cracky his voice is now.
"Y....Ya I just woke up..." Told him nervously.
"Bad dream?" He said smirking.
"N...no something else...I...I don't want to talk about it...." I started to feel water run down my face. His smile turned to a frown. I kept myself from sobbing just to sniff at the shame I left behind. He came close to me and hugged me. I don't like to be randomly hugged out of the blue but it felt different.
"You don't have to tell me...Just don't cry in front of me..." He said. I can feel something roaring inside of me. I start to have weird visions of nick trying to do that with me. I just wanted to leave the room and never return, To ignore him the next day to not care about this anymore and let myself go. He finally let go of me which gave me the time to unfolded myself from my ball and sit up again. I kept crying, even so knowing that If it wasn't for cody I'd be miserable right now. I probably lock myself in my room. I just want to let go of everything I've doon so far holding my secerts, my love for him, EVERYTHING! "Please... I'm..." He stopped in his tracks. I looked at him wondering why he stopped. I saw a tear run down his face like a football player. I hate to see people cry, It makes me feel selfish to watch someone cry. When I was still in middle school with Chris I was titled selfless. Everytime there was an argument I'd sometimes help or if someone cryed or fell I'd help them back up to the top. Some boys tryed to take advantage of that but they always failed to trick me.
"C...Cody I didn't mean to make you get depressed as well..." I said. "I'm So sorry I rubbed off my sad moment on you!" I hugged him like he did to me. I kissed his cheek trying to make him feel better. Then I felt a smile come to his face. I think the kiss worked perfect on him.
"I know your weakness..." He said. "You don't like it when people cry in front of you..." He tricked me!
"You jerk!" I yelled angerly. "You actually tricked me into kissing you!" He started to laugh while wiping the tears off his face. I grunted and went onto my side again, pissed this time. Cody went to my other side and started to smirk.
"So let me guess you never had someone do that to you, am I right?" He asked.
"Duh," I said turning around. "I didn't think anyone could do that to me!"
"Well I'm different then every other guy you met in your life, remember that." I sticked out my tongue at him and he started to laugh. "Your so childish." He kissed me on the lips again, a warm feeling came to me. I think I should accepted him as family now. He sometimes picks on me but I still love him. His hand started to slide down to my waist again. We start to make out with each other. I know This was to much already to handle. He pushed me down into the bed and I sighed. He started kissing me again and I can feel a smile start to creep up onto his face but he was able to hide it. I forced myself to stop kissing him and take a breath.
"I...I hate you so much..." I said gasping for air.
"I know you do..." He said. He finally rested to the side of me. I Felt good and warm inside again. I know I had found someone to love. I know someday this would happen but Its to soon.Then I started to get drozzy and fall back asleep. It felt good to curl up next to him, I felt safe again. But I know good moments always have to end...

End of Chapter 12