Journey of a Light Mage - A Fairytail Fanfic

Chapter 70 - Wounds Beneath the Surface

***Slight Trigger Warning for this Chapter***

A/N: This should be the last trigger warning or at least for a while. Thank goodness. I really want happy Rachel back, but these are important to her story. So. here we go!

***Rachel's p.o.v***

I hiccupped and cried into Freed's chest as he and the others stared at me dumbstruck.

They couldn't process what was happening, it was all too much, and I couldn't blame them.

I was scared to tell them. I was scared to tell them what happened there, that was why I never told them before. I was scared they would blame themselves, but most of all, I was scared to repeat it, terrified to repeat it, but I knew I had to. I've been bottling this up for too long and it almost literally killed me. I have to let it out. I have to let them know, no matter how much it hurts.

"No, Rae, you don't have to, you shouldn't, not like this, not now," Laxus tried as he crouched down to my level on the floor.

"We don't have to know," Ever added trying to ease the situation.

"Yeah, it's not our place to know," Bickslow agreed.

"You don't have to tell us anything," Freed assured.

I shook my head. "N-no. I-I have to. I can't take it anymore. You need to know. I can't hold it back anymore," I whimpered through my sobs.

Freed and the others glanced at each other worriedly before they gave in.

"Alright Rae, you can tell us, but we want you to calm down first," Laxus muttered softly.

I nodded in agreement.

***Timeskip***

I summoned Prism and held onto her as Freed brought me to the couch to calm down a bit while Laxus and the others tidied up the place.

Once they finished up and I calmed down, Laxus sat beside me alongside Freed, while Ever and Bickslow sat across from me as they waited silently for me to start.

"Rachel," Freed muttered.

I nodded, "After he defeated us, I blacked out. When I awoke, I was chained to the floor and he was standing over top of me as if he was patiently waiting there. Then that was when the tortures began..."

I explained to them with accurate detail of my tortures, every single one of them. I explained to them how I fought back the first two days. Then I explained what he told me he was after and how he was not after Prism after all, he was after some other magic I had, one I don't know about. I explained how he tormented me with his words and how much it broke me. I explained how horrible the tortures became after that; from his magic, to the drugs, to the whips and knives and all the other weapons he used.

I explained to them how broken and scared I felt, how I had lost all hope. I explained how much his words had been eating away at me for the past several months. How I didn't tell them because I was worried they would take the guilt for what it happened. I told them about how hard I had been training, to figure out what it was he was after that he wanted so badly, and how I haven't figured out anything. Finally, I told them about my recent mission and how upset it made me and how it led me to almost end myself before I was able to break out of it.

Laxus and the others had to stop me three times in order to prevent me from breaking down into a full-blown panic attack, and each time they always told me to stop as I had said enough, but every time I refused, and kept going.

I already started; I was going to finish this.

"-I couldn't get his voice out of my head; it was so overwhelming it was painful. All I wanted was for it to go away and be silent. I didn't even realize I picked up a knife. I don't even remember talking to you. I might have even done it without realizing it before... before I heard all of you. I heard you all encouraging me, and I remembered all the good times I've had with you all. It made me snap out of it. I threw the knife that I hadn't noticed I had been holding in fear and fell apart in relief. I was just so scared of how close I was to doing it and how relieved I was of not doing it. ... I sound completely insane," I sobbed as I finished.

The others glanced at me sadly.

"We don't think you're crazy Rae," Bickslow muttered.

"It wasn't your fault, we understand-" Ever started.

"NO, YOU DON'T!" I screamed, standing up.

"You don't understand at all! I was tortured for six years! He continued to hunt me down for seventeen more years! Then he tortured me for another week! AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY!!!" I screamed, clutching my head as tears streamed down my face.

I let my hands fall to my side as I sobbed.

"I just- I just wanna know why," I sobbed as I fell to my knees.

I sat there and just sobbed.

Soon enough, I felt the others embrace me.

We all sat there silently aside from my sobs as I embraced the comfort they were giving me. "You're right Rachel, we don't understand," Ever muttered.

"I don't want you to understand. I don't want you to ever understand. I never want you to go through what I've been through," I replied swiftly.

"Yeah, but even still, we're here for you," Bickslow replied.

"We will always be here for you Rachel, we promise," Freed replied.

"So quit bottling it up. We told you not to do that a bajillion times by now," Laxus scolded.

I chuckled a smile.

"There's the Rae we know," Laxus smiled as he ruffled my hair.

I smiled back as Laxus embraced me tighter.

"We'll help you figure this out Rae. We'll help you figure out your magic. We'll train with you, and if you ever get upset, talk to us. Just- just never ever let this happen again, ok?" Laxus replied softly.

I embraced them all tightly as I responded, "Yeah... I promise. And guys?"

"Yeah?" they responded.

"Thank you," I smiled as a few tears fell down my cheeks. 

A/N: Don't forget to Vote, Comment, and Enjoy your day everyday!