My bladder is full and I feel pressed, i remeber that I fainted. I can't believe my uncle...he's not even my uncle. I can't believe he and them burnt my mother's body to ashes. I wanted the man I was going to marry to be just like him because i thought he was an honest, loving man and like a father to me. I open my eyes and see that i am in our bedroom...yeah right there's nothing of mine here.
Voice:" Mrs gumede finally you're awake " When did he get here
Me:" Doctor Tambo. How did you get here? "
Doctor:" well your husband sent his men to come and get me " I Iook around and see that my dad, brother, mbuso, sims and victor are all here.
Me:" uncle what happend after you left us in the fire? "
Mbuso:" doc can you give us a few minutes, simphiwe can you go and make him some coffee? "
Sims:" follow me yummy doc " she takes his hand and they leave
Victor:" my brother told me to make sure the house is burnt down with all of you inside and they left. I went upstairs and took you and your brother out of the house then your dad and your mother's body. I put you in my car and and wrapped your mothers body in plastic and duck tape and put her in the boot of the car then took sicelo too because he was still breathing and then I called the police and ambulance for your father and left. I dropped sicelo at a hospital and drove off "
Me:" what did you do to my mother's body "
Victor:" I had heard thuli say she lived in Ladysmith and her in-laws lived there so I drove there the whole night with you crying and when I got to ladysmith I saw there was a livestock farm and so I stopped the car and took out my shovel and dug a grave for your mother and buried her there because I had hoped someone will find her and notify the police and then we left "
Me:" dad did you find mom's grave? "
Dad:" after i saw victor he took us there, we first got lost because he couldn't remember then after 8 hours we finally found it and she was buried at another farm from a family we knew. We dug her grave and gave her a proper goodbye, she's buried at our family plot and we'll take you there ".
Me:" how did I end up staying with them and not you? "
Victor:" my girlfriend then, helped me raise you and you stayed with her for two years then one day I went to visit you guys and my brother followed me because after what happend to your family I stayed away from them. when I got into the house a few minutes later he got in and when he saw you, he wanted to kill you because he thought you were dead but I begged him and told him you're still a child and wouldn't remember and it was either I let you live with them so they can watch you or kill you and I couldn't let that happen and so he took you "
Me:" uncle I need some time to process this because I don't know what to feel "
Victor:" I undestand lungi. I hope that one day you will forgive me for what I did to you and you're family " he says
Mbuso:" please tell the doctor to come "
Uncle:" I will. Zakes we will talk " they shake hands and he leaves.
Dad:" how are you feeling "
Me:" It's alot to take in " the doctor gets in smiling and i bet that smile has sims all over it
Mbuso:" Doctor for the last time, what's wrong with her? " I get up before the doctor answers and run to the bathroom and throw up nothing because I had not eaten anything. I feel tired and I'm exhausted. I feel mbuso brushing my back remaining quiet. I'm so scared of telling him that i'm expecting his baby because I don't know how he's going to react.
I flush the toilet and get up and brush my teeth and mbuso is still there not saying anything. I leave the bathroom and I see the doctor's disapproving look on his face as I sit on the bed
Doctor:" Mrs Gumede I told you to rest and no stress. when did you last did you eat? "
Me:" I woke up late and I was cooking, I was going to have something to eat but then..."
Dad:" I'll go and make you something to eat. sicelo come "
Me:" baba i'll make it " he looks at me and smiles
Dad:" you called me dad "
Me:" and for the first time in my life it feels right? " i say smiling. he comes and gives me hug then kisses both my cheeks and sicelo kisses my forehead and they leave me with mbuso and the doctor.
Mbuso:" I'm worried about you, you keep fainting luh, I know you said it's the stress doc but what's really going on? "
Me:" I'm pregnant mbuso. I'm having your baby, we are going to be parents " he looks at me shocked then looks at the doctor
Mbuso:" Is the stress affecting the baby...my baby? "
Doctor:" If she keeps getting stressed, not eat properly and doesn't rest she will lose the baby "
Mbuso:" what can I do to make sure that doesn't happen? " is he excited that we're having this baby?.
Doctor:" don't stress her. She needs to gain weight and rest. Did you get and take the medicine I prescribed for you ? "
Me:" I forgot to get them doctor " he writes something down
Doctor:" here is the prescription and the gynae's number and remember you have options mrs gumede. Goodluck and call me if you need anything else "
Mbuso:" thank you doc " he shakes his hand and the doctor leaves.
Me:" I'm sorry, I never lied when I said i'm on birth control. I just don't know what happend, I mean.."
Mbuso:" stop luh. I treated you like trash and I used you for my own selfish needs because I'm like that. I use woman and then discared them like nothing. I knew you were innocent from the begging yet still I accused you because at first I enjoyed watching you looking scared of me and it gave me a kick....that's how twistee I am. I treated you bad because you were slowly getting under my skin and making me feel things I have never felt and It scares me to death "
Me:" you're not twisted mbuso. you just dont know how to love "
Him:" love luh, my parents have been together for 45 years and married for 20. I've seen how my father treated my mother and he worships the ground she walks on, he loves her and she loves him. I don't know if I can do that and be that person to...you"
Me:" you are your own person and not like your dad mbuso. If you won't open your heart how will you know that you can or cannot be that person. What are you scared of mbuso? "
Him:" I'm scared of you. I'm scared that i'll give you my heart and then one day you'll wake up and realise that you deserve someone who's better than me. Someone who's never lied, manipulated, kept secrets and hit you. You'll realise that I'm not worthy of you and it terrifies me. I'm scared that you'll hurt me and so I hurt you first "
Me:" you did all those things because you wanted to push me away and not get close to you, so when I find out the truth it will be easier for me to walk away from you? "
Him:" I didn't want to treat you good, make you fall inlove with me while I'm keeping so many things fom you but I couldn't stay away from you. I tried to just fuck you and not care but everytime I did I cared deeply and it hurt me to know that I hurt you by just fucking you and leaving you and not giving you my time " am I falling for him, have i fallen for him?.
Me:" It did hurt me....alot. Sometimes I would wish that you would just hold me all through the the night, let me sleep in your arms and wake up next to you and kiss you good morning but it never happend ". I sigh sadly
Him:" I would come back after you have slept and I would watch you sleeping everyday. I'll take pictures of you and look at them when I'm at work. I'm sorry I couldn't be the man you deserve ".
Me:" and now we are going to be having a baby "
Him:" I know and whatever you decide I'll suport you "
Me:" what do you mean mbuso, whatever decision I take you'll support me?, don't you want this baby? "
Him:" After everything I put you through I'll understand if you don't want to keep the baby. You were already pregnant when I hit you luh God what is wrong with me? "
Me:" I am keeping this baby and we're having it. You were wrong to put your hands on me and you better not or else my dad is going to kill you "
Him:" but still I shouldn't have done it "
Me:" you didn't know I was pregnant and that doesn't mean it was okay to hit me "
Him:" I promise I'll never do it again "
Me:" So you're not mad that I'm pregnant? "
Him:" not mad but scared. "
Me:" I'm scared too. So what now?, what happens between us "
Him:" I think we should stop whatever that was happening and focus on the baby and me paying the damages "
Me:" I think so too. How are you going to explain everything to your family? "
Him:" I'm sick of the lies so I'm going to tell them the truth "
Me:" yeah do that. Why did you send thami money and get him his own apartment? "
Him:" I did that because he's a good kid who's bright and loves you and I knew that you would appreciate it and I did with sims and her kids because you love them. I would hear it everytime you spoke with them over the phone "
Me:" thank you "
Him:" no thank you luh for making me want to be a better person. I'm gonna be there for you and the baby "
Me:" so this is goodbye? "
Him:" no its not. I want you to go stay and reconnect with your family because you never had that and now that you do you must be around them and enjoy it. Be happy and not cry but when you cry it should be tears of joy "
Me:" yeah " he lays down and looks at me
Him:" I know it's not my place but please listen to me. forgive your uncle, he made mistakes but tried the best he knew how to fix them and it wasn't his idea in the first place but his brother and his wife. Forgive him..us for your peace of mind and because you're not the type to hold grudges ".
Me:" I know and i'll try ".
Him:" don't change for anyone luh because you are one in a million and I'm glad I got a chance to know you even though I blew it up but I'm happy that I have a part of me that will aways connect me to you. Can I feel your stomach? " I nod
Me:" thank you for saying that and I'm happy that we are going to have a baby together "
Him:" but I feel nothing in your stomach "
Me:" it's just a fetus and not yet a baby " I say giggling
Him:" I love it when you laugh, your whole face transforms and your smile reaches your eyes "
Me:" stop making me blush " I smile
Him:" so what about a quickie before you guys leave "
Me:" oh no mister. Take me to kitchen and feed me, your baby and I are hungry " ke kisses my stomach then kisses me and we get up.
Him:" I'm gonna miss you and you know you're always welcome here at any time Mrs gumede" I laugh
Me:" I'm gonna miss you too Mr gumede " we both laugh and hug tight and I look at this bedroom one last time and we leave.