Hey everyone!
This chapter is a little bit long and I haven't written in a while too, so when I did write this, I got a little carried away? A lot of parts in this chapter just came naturally and... well, I'll let you read it for yourself :) also, it's part 2 of chapter 33 cause it felt too connected for it to be chapter 34.
The gist is I've been binging and rewatching a couple of shows recently and I've been obsessed with all of them!
Dynasty. Umbrella Academy. Hamilton. How I Met Your Mother. B99 Season 7!!!
It's a bit of a minx. Seen any of them? 👀 There's too much time and i know we're starting to run out of ideas how to spend it all.
What shows have you guys been watching? I'd love to know!
But now here we go with the chapter! :)
When I walk in the kitchen with Jacky, no one looked happier than my aunt. She had a wide grin and didn't hesitate to give her a big hug! "Had trouble parking, I heard?"
Jacky laughs, "I dont know what you're talking about but a huge dog hit the mailbox."
I gasp exaggeratedly, "How dare you blame a dog!"
She chuckles, playfully pinching my side, making me flinch. "Look at that. You're here 3 minutes and Kim's a whole different person!"
I blush at my aunt's remark, but since she's got here, it's like all the tension has left my body and I'm more at ease.
"Jacky!" My mother called out, pulling my girlfriend in for a big unexpected hug. Jacky's eyes widen but eventually she relaxes. "I'm so glad you're here! I was hoping you'd stop by! Kim said you can't make it."
"Someone covered my shift at the cafe," She explains, smiling. "I'm glad I can make it!"
I can't help but smile, seeing how much mom loves Jacky already. "Well, it's important to be with family on Christmas."
"So, what are you this time?" Tía asks then she lowers her voice that sounds like a hiss, "Just so I know what to say when the chismosas are prying!"
Mom's eyes widens and gently pries the wine glass out of my aunt's hands, who barely notices!
"Freshen up upstairs, and come back down. You're a mess, Lorrie!" She shoves her sister and Tía just shrugs and follows mom's order, making me a laugh a bit. "Lorena's tell is if she's not answering back." She states before walking off to the dining room.
"She finished a bottle of red before the party." I tell Jacky who's finishing her own glass with a glint of amusement in her eyes. "You enjoying that wine?"
She smiles, winking cheekily before putting her glass down. She gently takes my hand, brushing her thumb on my knuckle. "Are you enjoying hiding from your guests?" She teases with a cheeky grin.
"Grandparents' guests." I correct. "I'm just happy you made it."
She smiles at me, looking into my eyes. There's something she wants to say, and she does. "We can still have a good Christmas."
That's when my lips stretch into a wide smile to mimic my giddy little heart in this moment. "I just wanted you to be a part of it, that's all. And here you are."
Her eyes soften into a dazzling sea of emerald. Her smile softens as a soft whisper escapes her lips, "Here I am."
And like that, I'm drawn to her and my eyes fall to her lips. I take a deep breath before taking a step back, making her laugh a little at my panicky moment. Damn it.
"We shouldn't hide in here, my dad will look for me." I point out and I take her with me into the living room.
And who is the first person I encounter but my grandmother's closest friend, Teresa, who is the reason why I stepped in the kitchen for a breath. She worked with my grandmother for 20 years, and wouldn't stop listing her favourite students.
"Beware." I mutter. "The woman is a little nosy!"
"What?" I hear Jacky question but Teresa's already in front of us.
Man, I just got away too.
"Oh, Kimberly! There you are!" She beams, and the moment she lays her eyes on Jacky, she muses. "Oh hello! Pretty thing, did you just get here?"
Jacky smiles politely and chuckles nervously, "Yeah, parking trouble." She responds.
"Right, Teresa. This is Jacky," I introduce them and they acknowledge each other quickly. "Have you seen my grandmother?"
"Hannah's on the phone, sweetheart," she tells me and then I notice her eyes trained on Jacky curiously. "Pardon me, but you remind me so much of this student I had a few years back."
"Oh really?" Jacky asks neutrally, tilting her head.
Teresa nods, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Yes, it was when your grandmother and I worked as temps at Cambridge, Kim."
I frowned, confused. "My grandmother taught at Cambridge?"
"A few years back, darling." She tells me, "I had a student at the time; very intelligent handsome gentleman, wise for his age. Impossible to forget, that one, he was distinct in every way possible."
That's when I see the look on Jacky's face, and I knew she and I had one person in mind.
Dillon. But I remember that Dillon rarely disclosed to anyone about having a sister. As far as anyone knows, he's an only child, not great to hear on Jacky's part but no one can deny they can both pass as twins.
"Of course!" Teresa beams, and I stand there confused. "Are you Dillon Holliday's sister?"
Jacky's expression softens when I turn to her, almost with this childlike innocence and surprise. "I'm... I'm sorry?" She stutters, looking at her in disbelief.
So did I. And to break the silence, I ask, "Teresa, what are you talking about exactly?"
"Oh, darling, not to brag but I was his favourite professor! He'd visit my office and discussed the lecture with me during his free time, " Teresa fawns turning to Jacky, "Lovely young man. He'd often talk about a sister who lived away, but when I engage, he changes the subject! I never understood why, but I couldn't pry. Poor boy."
I try to puzzle out the expression on Jacky's face this time, but I just can't. One thing I know is that she wasn't expecting to hear something like this. Even I'm surprised. The world can be so small, you really never know.
Teresa chuckles in amusement, "Well, what a small world."
Yeah, my thoughts exactly.
"I guess it is," Jacky responds distantly, "Did you stay to work in Cambridge?"
I can't tell what's running through her mind right now, or what she's feeling. I just know she's processing this information while keeping the conversation going to hide whatever she's feeling. She's so good at this that I worry she'll get used to it, and bottle it up.
Yet I can't help but watch in awe as she nods and listens to every word of Teresa's stories, charming the usually uncharmed as she does.
"How does she do that?" Mom asks as she walks up to me, looking a bit confused. "I can't stand talking to Teresa for 5 minutes and then there's Jacky..."
"It's a curse to be adored by everyone." Yet no one can adore her more than I do, just saying. "Mom, do you think it's a bad idea Jacky's here? I don't know what Dad's going to say when he sees her."
"Why on earth would you think it's a bad idea?" She asks me, almost scolding me for even thinking of it. Maybe she's right, I mean... I could not be happier than I have been all night! "If your father implied that, I swear—"
"No, mom... he didn't say anything like that." I guess that's kind of the truth. "Promise, I swear."
I look up and see Jacky walking over to us, looking at me like she's begging for help. She turns to mom and points at her wine glass, "Am I allowed to have one of those? I think Teresa melted my brain."
"From the looks of it, I'd say you were having the time of your life!" She chuckles at my remark, gently pinching my side, making me flinch.
Mom laughs, patting Jacky's shoulder. "Around these sticklers, I'm sorry, darling, that's impossible. In here." Mom winks, nodding towards the kitchen.
"Mom!" I gasp but my face grinning like crazy. "You can't say that, Dad's going to implode!"
She scoffs, rolling her eyes. "Don't think I didn't know you've been sneaking a drink with Lorrie, I know." Jacky laughs, and my face turns bright red. She holds her hands up in surrender and starts walking away, but not without insinuating, "Anyway, it's only a suggestion."
"Thats a suggestion I'm taking," Jacky says, grinning from ear to ear. She chuckles, taking my hand, gently tugging me to the kitchen. "You can talk to me while—"
"You drown yourself in wine?" I finish teasingly, making her laugh. I follow her in the kitchen and sit on the barstool across from her. I watch her pour the wine in her glass when I asked, "Were surprised when Teresa knew who you were?"
Without hesitation, Jacky nods, "You know what I was more surprised with?" I shake my head, "That Dillon ever told anyone about me. I assumed I got written off by now."
She sits beside me, staring down at her glass. "I don't think Dillon ever wanted to," I assure her, "Or your dad either."
"I wouldn't know," she mutters before taking her first swig. I frown, confused. "Yesterday, I waited in Arrivals and when I saw my dad, I took off before he saw me."
"Oh.." was all I could say. "How did you feel when you saw him m?"
Jacky shrugs, shaking her head. "I just felt let down all over again. It sucks."
We sit in silence for a moment, with only the sound of a faint Silent Night playing behind us. I take a deep breath and I wrap my arms around her, leaning my head on her shoulder.
"That does suck." I mutter then I hear her laugh lightly before turning to face me, her face merely inches away from mine. "I'm sorry."
She takes a deep breath and nods, "I wasn't ready." Her perfume invades my senses and I can feel my heart thud loudly against my chest.
She rests her hand on my knee delicately, her touch sending shivers throughout my whole body. Then her face turns bright red and lifts her hand, "Sorry. My bad." She mutters sheepishly.
I sigh deeply, screwing my eyes shut. The hurt on Jacky's face every time this happens is forever engraved in my head. This sucks all over again, and this is my fault. Then I realise Jacky lifted her hand because a few seconds later, a few of my grandparents' friends walk in, asking about more wine.
When will I find the courage not to tiptoe around my family?
As the hour went on, my grandparents' and parents' guest start to leave to go home to their own families. They disperse quickly since most of them lived in the city. Soon, it's just Jacky and my family in the living room with the leftover wine a couple of minutes before midnight. I watch Jacky smile and laugh heartily at my grandmother's stories about her youth in England. I recall grandmother seeing us in the yard earlier, laughing together as she tells me the story of her and Vee in New York that involved a Christmas tree and a broken window.
When I saw my grandmother, I was still laughing and said something along the lines of, "Grandma! This is Jacky, she is the most amazing person!"
And I have lightest feeling in my heart for the first time all night. I saw the look of awe and pure joy on Jacky's face, not expecting the words that just came out of my mouth. That's how it's supposed to be, all the time!
My grandmother knows the person she's sitting next to us is the most amazing girl, but she doesn't know how much happiness that girl brings my heart and my life!
The holidays have been rough on her before it even began, with her brother and her father being in town, and the last thing I want to do is make it worse for her. When grandmother gets up, excusing herself for some fresh air, I stood up and take her spot beside Jacky. She didn't say anything, neither did I. We just smile at each other and relax against the couch. Already, I can sense my father's sharp gaze in my direction.
"Okay, familia! I have something to tell everyone. The reason I came home is to be with my family for Christmas," She beams, grinning widely. At the mention of the word 'family', I catch my dad's eyes direct at Jacky but he looks away when mom elbows him on the side. "But also i have a big announcement to make. Noelle already knows this because, well, she's nosy—" she turns to mom sharply and the sisters laugh.
"You're very funny, you know." Mom taunts, getting a smile even from dad.
Tía laughs before turning to face me and Jacky, but her eyes trained on me. "I'm getting married this spring!"
Saying I jumped on my feet is not exaggerated! Even Jacky flinches at my sudden movement but I don't think I've jumped that high since middle school! "What?!" I practically screamed.
"And, Kim, I'd love for you to be one of my bridesmaids." She adds, and my mouth drops to the floor.
"What?!" My mouth dumbly hangs open. "Wait... what?!"
My aunt laughs and my mom hands me an invitation— there are invitations already?! Tía points at the list of bridesmaids and I see my name right at the top. "I really would love if you were a part of this, mija. It would mean so much to me."
"Oh my god, of course!" I throw my arms around my aunt, hearing my mom laugh lightly behind her. "Congratulations, tía! I'm so happy for you!"
"Oh, mí niña. Gracías." Tía's squeezes me and I can't help but smile wider. I just can't stop smiling!
Jacky gets up and hugs Tía, congratulating her. When she pulls away, she addresses the room, "I think this announcement calls for a toast. I'll grab everybody a glass."
I saw it as an opportunity for us to be alone. Immediately, I chime, "Let me help." before anyone does.
I catch a subtle smirk on Jacky's face before we walk in the kitchen out of earshot. She smiles at me so softly as she uncorks a bottle of wine. "I love seeing you this happy, Kim." She mentions.
"I really am so happy!" I beam, touching my face only to feel the warmth of my own blush. "Mom said tía had it rough when their parents died, and she was one her own for a while."
"And now, she's getting married." Jacky adds, smiling at me before pouring more wine in each glass. I do the same, feeling my face turn bright red watching Jacky.
"Yeah, she's getting married." My heart skipped a beat just saying that, wondering if I'll ever get there myself; to feel that sort of happiness. "Can you imagine being that happy?"
She stops and puts the bottle down, nodding casually. "I don't know about marriage, but I think have a slight idea."
I hear my parents, my grandparents and my aunt's voices grow louder as they approach the kitchen. I guess my aunt told my grandparents too when we left the room. I look at Jacky who simply smiles without uttering a single word, but her look is enough to make my heart leap.
Everyone grabs a glass, my mom raising hers to begin the toast. "Congratulations, Lorrie! I speak for mami and papi, and i have no doubt that they're smiling for you right now." My aunt's eye fill with tears, muttering a thank you to her sister. "Salud!"
"Salud!" We echo as we clink our glasses before drinking from our glasses.
When everyone's glasses are down, tía calls, "Julian," dad turns to her. "Differences aside, it would mean so much to me if you came. We are family."
My eyes widen and I catch Jacky's head turn to my dad the same time I did too. My dad smiles a little and after a gentle nudge from mom, he says, "Of course, Lorena. I wouldn't miss it."
Wow. That's something I never thought I'd hear in my whole life! Dad and Tía never got along, according to mom, and he's been avoiding her since she got here. Some days it was coincidental, but some I notice her goes out of his way not to sit in the same room as her. And I never knew why, yet here we are now; my dad promising to attend his sister-in-laws wedding!
"I would've still brought you, Julian, whether you wanted to come or not." Mom says cheekily, taking a sip from her wine.
Tía rolls her eyes playfully at my mom, "He's a guest, Noelle. No need for the threats."
Mom does the same but this time to playfully tease my father. And he smiles! That doesn't happen too often!
We all went back to the living room, when my grandmother beams in her seat, pointing at the clock. The clock chimes and my whole family cheers! It's Christmas! I look around in disbelief as this turned into one of the best Christmases I've had in a long time that I can't help but smile! My aunt, my grand parents, who I've been adamant about having visiting, my parents are all here— my whole family is here on Christmas!
My aunt hugs me first since she's standing closest to me, then my mom followed by my dad then my grandparents. Then there's Jacky who's getting squeezed to death by my grandmother before she wraps her arms around me and I felt my whole body just give in to her hug.
"Merry Christmas!" I whisper in her ear, hugging her as tight as I can.
"Merry Christmas, Kimmy!" I can feel her smile against my shoulder, and I hug her even closer. She laughs, doing the same until I can feel tears well in my eyes. The good kind.
After a while in the living room and the conversation felt like it was dying down, I got up and grabbed a coat, excusing myself for some fresh air. I turn on our patio heater when I step out in the backyard, putting it on full to warm myself in the winter air. I wasn't surprised when Jacky steps out a few minutes after. She shuts the door behind her and sits next to me on our patio bench.
From my inner pocket, I pull out a box with a ribbon tied on top, holding it out to her. She looks at me surprised, almost unsure.
"Merry Christmas!" I beam again as she takes the present sheepishly.
"Kim, you didn't have to—" but after a few seconds she smiles like a child, fiddling with the bow. "Can I open it?"
"Yeah! Of course you can!" She chuckles as she pulls the bow and carefully pulls off the tapes holding the wrapper together. I watch her with excitement as the gift slowly reveals itself. It's not anything fancy, but I know it's something that means a lot to the both of us.
She pulls away the wrapper and I watch as her eyes widen at the frame in her hand. "This is..."
"Homecoming night, yeah. When we drove to the city, and walked around Millennium Park." I finish for her. I framed one of the first photo I took of her that night at Millennium Park inside a little shadow box frame. On the corner, I stuck the gate pass from the Willis Tower with the time stamp from that night.
"Never in my wildest dreams did I think I could be with someone as amazing as you are, Jacky!" She looks at me as I tell her, her expression in awe. "And now you're the most important person in my life."
"Kim..." She whispers before throwing her arms around me, pulling me in a tight hug. She buries her face in my neck and I hear her whisper, "I love it. So much!"
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, and finally, relax in her embrace. When she pulls away, she sets the frame down and gets up. "Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back."
Before I can ask, she's sprinting out the back gate. I look down at the frame and, like some days, I'm still in disbelief– that I fell in love with this amazing person, and that she loves me too. How on earth did I get so lucky?!
Jacky comes back holding a red box, almost the size of a shoebox with a thin white ribbon sitting on top. There's a wide grin on her face as she sets the gift on my lap. I can feel her eyes on me as I take the top off the box, revealing a cotton sweater.
I take it out and felt my heart face when I see the print. Big bold 'NEW YORK FILM ACADEMY' embroidered text stretches across the chest.
"I have no doubt you'll get into the school of your dreams, but I'm hoping this will bring you some more good luck." She says when I struggle to find the right words. "You deserve to have all your dreams come true."
This girl... this girl believes in me in ways I can never explain. Even when I'm full of doubt myself, she never stopped believing in me! I can feel my heart racing at this point. It's so overwhelmed with so much joy that all the words are lost on me.
"I love it," was all I can find to say, and even then my voice was shaking. "Thank you for being here. You have no idea how much this means to me."
She smiles, leaning. "I can say the same thing."
I feel her lips grazing mine for moments, her hand on my waist pulling me closer. My body leans in, as if magnetised by her touch as my heart raced, anticipating the kiss that never came. Jacky jumps when the back door slams open, my father's eyes raging like he's about to explode! My mother jumps in front of him, trying to calm him down but all I can hear is a buzz!
Then dad snaps. "I don't want you in my house again, do you hear me?!" His voice is eerily calm but I stiffen at the rage in his eyes. "I always knew she was trouble— What did I say Noelle?! I don't want you near my daughter again! And you, Kimberly! Is this what you want to be? Do you want to be like them?"
I jump then I hear my mother raise her voice, "That's enough, Julian! You're going too far!"
Then someone I never expected to jump in does. My grandmother. "Julian, for goodness sake! Sweetheart, I think it's best if you leave."
"I was about to, don't worry." My eyes well up in tears at Jacky's tone. The pain her voice breaks my heart! I wished the ground opened up and swallow me whole, never letting me back up!
But then she turns to face my father, her eyes serious and unwavering. The tension is suffocating and I don't know if I'm more scared of what dad says next, or what Jacky says next.
"Mr. Thomas, I never meant to cause Kim any trouble," dad looks up, glaring at her but she doesn't waver, "and I'm sorry if I did anything to disrespect you but Kim loves you too much she's willing to protect you even if that meant... she can't be herself."
I gasp, turning to Jacky but she was already looking at me. There's deep sadness in her eyes that's impossible to ignore.
My father's eyes widen. "I know my daughter, and she's not the person you think she is." He seethes that's when I can't hold back anymore.
"That's not true, dad." I interject, surprising my family. My dad's expression shifts. "Jacky's right, and you know that, Dad. You knew who I was for years but you're so ashamed that you choose not to believe it!"
"This is not who you are, Kimberly! You are more than this, but this girl—"
"She has nothing to do with this, Dad. None of this is her fault— it is not her fault!" My voice is shaking!
Im so mad at my father, but it breaks my heart to watch him visibly struggling to find his words because deep down, he knows I'm right! But this is what he does; he denies and denied, and finds other people to blame, be it mom or my aunt or me, whenever his expectations are not met! And it drives me crazy because I know I can never meet those insane expectations he has! At the same time, I don't want to disappoint him either so I have no idea where to plant myself anymore!
That's when I turned to my father and saw tears welling up in his eyes from the rage. He shakes his head and I just felt every part of me break. "This is not you, Kim. I know you. You need to cut this girl off—"
"Dad, I can't change myself just because you decide you don't like who I am!" my vision blues as the tears spill out. "You can't... dictate who I love."
"Then what do you expect me to do?" His voice emotionless.
My mother gasps, "Julian!" She's furious with my father.
Little by little, a part of me cracks and I can feel myself falling apart with ever second I realise there's no changing his mind.
"What do you want me to do, Kimberly?" His voice booms.
"I-I don't know," my voice cracks, "Tell me you love me and you accept me for who I am, dad."
He tears his gaze from me and my whole body just gave way. For a moment i just blacked out, I can't hear anything— My parents argue but I hear nothing but a ring that's numbing my whole body. Then I see Jacky and I come back but I can't stay here!
I reach in her pocket and grab her keys.
"Kim? Kim—" I heard my mom shout but I was already sprinting out the back gate, tears spilling from my eyes.
I hit myself against Jacky's car and I fumble over the keys in my shaking hands. Eventually, I got the car opened and I scramble to get myself in the driver seat. Then, someone grabs my hands, stopping me from turning the keys. I fight them but when I recognise the sound of their voice, I felt all my strength leave my body and fall against the steering wheel, sobbing as she holds me.
JACKY'S POV
Every sob from Kim breaks my heart. To see her completely fall apart, in disarray as she snatched my keys— god I've never felt so scared! She ran so fast to escape into the street that I was afraid something would happen to her before I could get to her.
I catch her in my car, scrambling over the keys that I had to take it from her. She fights me over them, sobbing uncontrollably that I almost lost it myself but I had to take it from her. I can't let her go anywhere alone like this— fuck, I don't even want to think about where that could lead.
I held her hands so tightly together. She fights and tries to pry my fingers off but I whisper in her ear, "It's okay, Kim. It's me," over and over again until she gives in. She falls against the wheel and sobs, burying her face in her hands.
"Shit." I murmured, tears springing in my eyes as I hold her. It takes every bit of strength in me not to fall apart— not now. Not when she need me the most.
"I don't want to be here. I can't be here. I don't want to..." I hear her mumbling in between sobs that's it's just heartbreaking.
From the corner of my eye, two figures stand in front of the house. I look at them only to find Noelle also in pieces seeing her daughter fall apart. Beside her, her sister.
I take the keys away from Kim and close the door before walking up to them. When I stand in front of Noelle, she steadies herself and looks at me.
"Sorry, Noelle.... I really don't know what to say to you all for ruining your Christmas—"
"Jacky, that's the least of my worries right now," Noelle's eyes fill with tears. I look behind me to see that Kim still hasn't moved from where I left her. "I know she'd rather be anywhere else than here... and I really think she should be."
"I'll take care of her, don't worry." I promised that's when Noelle's eyes light up.
She pulls me in a tight hug and squeezes me tight. I feel like I could burst into tears at any second but I have to hold it together. "I really can't thank you enough for what you're doing for her."
"It's nothing compared to what she's done for me, Noelle."
And that's nothing short of the truth. When I needed Kim, she was right there. Even when I pushed her away, she never left. She has always been so strong whenever I fell apart and now that the roles have reversed, I have to be strong for her. I've never seen Kim in pieces like this, but then she always tried to steady herself– to hold herself together for her dad. But eventually, everyone breaks.
I recall her expression tonight, smiling and laughing, getting so excited over her aunt's engagement. She was over the moon! And not 3 hours later, her world just collapses in front of her.
I start to drive home but I hear her cry silently against the window that I made a last minute turn into the city even if Kim doesn't notice. I remember when I first came here, and the news of my mom's death was still pretty fresh on my mind, I'd drive anywhere in my aunt's car. The more unrecognisable the landscape is, the better. It's easier to leave tears behind in a place you don't know. Easier to walk away. And that's what Kim needs.
I drive south towards the city. It's Christmas Eve so it's unusually quiet apart from the faint glow of the street lights. Soon, we're exiting the city where the streets are wider. Kim falls asleep as we pass a sign that says 'Welcome
To Indiana' but I don't stop, I keep driving as I clear my own head.
I need that now more than ever. When she wakes up, she needs me more than she ever did and I have to be there for her.
30 minutes after passing the border, I hear Kim waking up, sniffling beside me as she faces the window. When the streets are clearer, I reach over and take her hand. She doesnt push away instead she holds on tighter, and cries harder.
"Can we stop, please?" She asks quietly, sitting up, wiping her face.
I pull over on the side of the quiet road but not before seeing the sign of the town's name we're in. I scoff. Beverly Shores. Unbelievable. What a turn this Christmas took.
Right now, it felt like nothing I say could make things better. Suddenly, Kim breaks down. Heartbreaking sobs wracked tore through the silence. Every sob threatened to rip her apart. It's the most painful thing I had to see. I swallow the lump in my throat, pulling myself together. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her tight, letting her tears soak my shirt.
Her rigid body trembles against mine. It breaks my heart seeing the girl whose always pulled me together, like this. I hold her as tight as I can, hoping it's enough for her not to fall apart completely.