I gaze at the clock through my watered eyes. *2:08* God it was late. You can't hear much in Harrys' room. It's pretty sound proof. The music just sounds muffled, still quiet loud, but I know my tiredness would Make me fall asleep pretty fast.
I look at the top that lay lifeless at the end of the bed. I pick it up in my shaking hands. The look on his face when he realised I didn't want to wear it tore my heart in half. l always wear his top. Always.
Tonight had been so overwhelming, I can feel my eyes becoming heavier, my body beginning to shut down.
Harry POV
Tonight has been fucking shit. Everything is ruined. She's never going t o trust me again, all because of bloody Amelia. I push my way through the crowd, attempting to get to the front door.
"Harry?!" Louis' intoxicated voice echoes over the noise. ''Where are you going?"'
l dismiss his call, walking out of the party. I storm up the fire escape stairs walking out on to the roof. The cold air swiftly brushes my cheeks, drying my tears.
The roof. This is the place where we first kissed in New York...on the
roof. I know we had kissed before once in the pond but not like that night. This was the place where I finally grew a pair of balls and kissed her. It felt like just yesterday I was sitting in that spot, nervously waiting for the moment to just go for it. I probably didn't seem that nervous to her that night; but I was. I was terrified. But now it's all changed, because of me. I grit my teeth and aggressively gripping the railings.
"Fuck sake." I curse, kicking an empty can.
I want to go and speak to her, I want to go and talk to her now...but I can't. She's tired, hurt, upset...the least I can do is do what she says. Even if it means it's not what I want.
I take a seat, resting my face in my palms.
How could I mess this up? I never wanted to kiss Amelia. She came on to me. She wouldn't believe me when I said I didn't want her. Which is true, I don't. I want Mollie.
I fist my hair, a tear drop failing to the floor. I've never cried over a girl before, ever. Mollie was the only girl that has ever brought out that emotion in me. The pain in my chest grows as I relive the moment she walked in. Her face...she looked so broken. The colour drained from her instantly, the trust floated out of her within seconds. Everything...gone.
I hear the door open, someone stepping out and standing in front of me. I keep my hands over my face, hiding my tears.
"Louis, I just want to be alone right now." I sigh, holding back my emotions.
"She won't believe you then?" A feminine voice teases. Amelia.
I snap my head up, my stomach churning at the sight of her arrogant face. Why the hell is she still here?! I stand, my fists curl into a ball.
"Why the fuck did you do that?!" I shout, "why did you say I kissed you first?!"
She shrugs an answer, a smug look appearing across her face.
"You've ruined everything!" I grit my teeth, my breath rapidly increasing, "tell me what you said to her, tell me everything!"
"I told her the truth," she confidently speaks.
What truth? I can feel the rage eating away at me.
"What are you talking about?!"
She laughs, ''oh come on Harry. You and I both know that you two weren't going to last. I mean look at you...look at her."
"There's nothing wrong with Mollie!"
"Yeah...not much!" She mocks.
"There isn't!" I defend, "now tell me what you said to her. What truth are you fucking talking about?"
She crosses her arms, slowly circling me, the sound of her foot steps adding to my anger.
"Amelia!''
"I just said how you would rather be with someone more like you."
I frown, "what do you mean?"
She raises her eyebrows as if I should know. "Someone famous."
I shake my head in fury.
"Why does everyone think that?! I'm no different from any other guy
out there! Mollie is no different from any other celebrity here! We're all people! I love her, why can't anyone just see that?!"
"Because you don't," she replies, "you think you do, but you don't. Not
really...you just like a change."
I shake my head. She's wrong. She's so, wrong. Mollie means everything to me. Everything. I need her. Now I could lose her.
"What else did you say?" My jaw tenses.
She bites her lip. ''How you didn't tell me that you had a girlfriend.''
"You what?!" l spit, "you said I never told you? Why the hell did you do that?! That was the first fucking thing I said to you!"
"Oops." she jokes, "must have forgot."
She's lied about everything. No wonder Mollie can't even look at me. All the things I said to her about her being the only girl for me, about her being beautiful and mine, about telling my ex I had a girlfriend, Amelias' twisted everything!
"You've fucked everything up Amelia! She's never going to trust me again!"
"So?" She shrugs, "plenty more girls around here to sleep with."
"That's not all Mollie is to me!" I snap, "we've slept together once, alright?! It's different with her. This is serious! I love her!"
She scoffs, rolling her eyes.
"I'm in love with her." I croak, my eyes glossy up again.
"If you're so in love with her, then why did you kiss me back?"
"You were all over me I tried to push you back, but you're so desperate you just clung on!"
"Still, if she meant that much to you you would have stopped it quicker."
I've never felt this angry. My head is thumping. Her irritating voice constantly ringing in my ear , it's all too much.
"Just piss off back home. You don't know anything about me and Mollie. Nothing!" I shout, "you've ruined everything."
I hold my stare, trying to control my aggression as she steps closer.
"I could lose her Amelia..." my voice quietens.
"You'd get over her," she grunts.
"But I don't want to get over her! I want her! But you've destroyed it all!" My breathing becomes heavier, the rage building up inside of me. "Just go home."
I watch her dark eyes as she step's closer, more so than I had hoped.
"Are you sure you want that Harry?"
My eyes stay fixed on hers.
"Because now that you haven't got her," she edges closer, stroking my arm, "you can have me."
"No," I push her back, "because I haven't lost her yet and I won't let that happen! So just leave!"
"Your choice." She flicks her flirtatious eyes, walking back to the fire exit door.
"Fuck" I curse, needing on last release of aggression.
...
As I walk back down the corridor I struggle to hear the music pounding from the apartment. Was the party over?\
I check my watch, *3:15*... probably over.
l step in, Louis being the last guest, He sits up on the sofa, forcing himself to keep his eyes open.
"Party finished?" I ask, taking a seat beside him.
"Yeah," he replies, "everyone was becoming quite tired."
I stay silent, blankly staring at my bedroom door. I so desperately want to be with her, cuddling her in bed.
"Whats happened?"
"Nothing." I lie.
"Harry. You haven't been the same since Mollie got here. And neither has she. What's going on?"
I sigh, knowing I won't be able to lie anymore. "Amelia."
He groans, "oh God, what has she done?"
"We kissed...and Mollie saw us."
"You what?!"
"Louis please." I beg. "What do I do? She thinks I kissed her first."
"And did you?"
"No. Of course not. She's never going to trust me again."
He pats my back as my eyes water, "she will, she probably just needs time."
"But she's thinking about ending it...ending us. I don't want that. I need her Louis, I can't lose her."
There's a silence.
"She won't end it."
"You don't know that" I snap. ''You Should have seen her face when she saw us...it broke my heart."
I mentally kick myself. Why can't we just go back in time a redo this whole evening. I would have kicked Amelia out the second I saw her, or I would have just stayed with Mollie at her house with Gracie.
He sighs "Harry I promise you she won't end it. She's crazy about you, you can see it in her eyes....she adores you, even you know that."
"But she won't even wear my top to bed."
"What?" He frowns. "What has that got to do with anything?"
"She always wears my top! She said it comforts her...and now that she won' t wear it, it just shows that she doesn't trust me."
His eyes sympathises with mine. "You'll be fine. You both Just need to
sleep on it that's all."
Louis hand leaves my back as he stands.
"By the time I come up tomorrow you would have sorted it..I bet."
"You're going?"
"Yeah, sorry," he yawns. "I've got a thumping headache."
"Oh. Well thanks anyway."
"It's alright. Stop worrying Harry," he smiles, "she loves you too much to let you go."
I hope so. I know she loves me, I know that. It's whether my actions were hurtful enough to break that.
"Have you seen my jacket?" Lou asks, scanning the room.
"I think it's on the balcony, I'll get it for you."
l step outside, turning my head left and right, looking for his jacket.
Was he right? Would she stay with me even after the way I made her feel? He seems pretty confident about it But I don't...l was there when her world broke down. I saw it written across her face. The hurt. the pain, everything. What am I going to do?
I grab the item of clothing from the side, and head back in doors.
As l renter the room, I frown, "Lou?"
My eyes search the room. Where is he? Just as I was about to go to the bathroom to check in there he appears...out of my bedroom?
A small smile appears across his face, the silence causing my curiousity to grow.
"You've got nothing to worry about Harry," he whispers. "Trust me."
"What?"
"Just go in and look at her...you'll see."
He pats my back as he walks passed. Why did he say that? How does he know? Did he talk to her? Is she awake? My head spins in confusion.
As he leaves, I hesitantly turn back around to face the bedroom door. Should I go in?
I turn the door handle, creeping into the darkened room. I lightly step closer and closer towards the bed, trying so hard not to make any noise.
I freeze, my breath being stolen and my heart instantly warming.
S-she's wearing it...she's wearing my top.