《JAY'S POV》
Jay watched how Nick and Riven sat down in front of him, as Felix sat next to him. They all had a concerned look on their faces, which was understandable since Jay was usually just joking around and wasn't too serious about anything.
After Riven had explained that he was with Felix and Nick, Jay had told him they could come too. They were now in some random park, sitting at a picnic table, with his friends waiting for him to start telling them what was going on.
"I asked you to come here because... I did something stupid, and I don't really know what to do now." He took a deep breath, and for a short while got a bit distracted by the sound of some children that were playing basketball.
He decided to just get it over with, so before he even realised it, he had blurted out the words: "So I kissed Levi..."
He saw how Riven's eyes widened, as he was taken by surprise, and instantly Jay got reminded of how Levi would always do the same.
He tried to push those images away in his brain. He wronged Levi so badly, he had no right to even think of him.
"Sh*t Jay... What did he do?" Felix's voices sounded concerned, which for some reason felt comforting, and Jay once again realised how happy he was to have met these boys.
"I guess he like... kissed me back? But after that he got mad at me and like... I don't really know what to do now."
Nick frowned, looking a bit confused. "If he kissed you back he must like you right? Just tell him you want to be with him, perhaps he's mad because he misunderstood, like he didn't realise that you actually cared about-"
"He didn't misunderstand. That's the problem."
Riven tilted his head a bit. "Then you think he doesn't want to be with you?"
"I don't know. It doesn't even matter. His dad is a church leader."
Nick slowly shook his head. "Do you really think he's gonna be that concerned with you guys dating? Who knows, perhaps he won't care that much."
Jay grinned. "I had dinner at Levi's place once. His brother's girlfriend asked if we were boyfriends. Let's just say the way his dad reacted is enough to make it very clear to me that he will never change his mind about this."
"Does anybody else know this happened?" Riven asked.
"Probably not. Well, I told Matt."
After seeing his friends' shocked faces he clarified: "I didn't want to, but he kind of figured it out on his own."
"Can't you just date without his family knowing? They know you are friends anyway." Felix sounded convincing, but Jay knew that was impossible.
"Honestly, I'm too scared they would somehow notice. Also, I don't think Levi would be okay with lying to them, he's pretty close with his family."
"Can't you just talk to him about it?"
Jay turned his head to look at Nick. "How? I don't have his phone number, and he avoids me. He didn't even sleep on my shoulder last Sunday."
He noticed that his friends suddenly went silent and stared at him with a strange expression on their faces.
"Ohh," he said as the realization hit him. "It's a thing... we do. It's complicated."
He suddenly had a backflash to when he and Levi first met. He remembered how shocked he was when this random guy shamelessly used his shoulder as a pillow, and Levi's face when he woke up and realized what was going on. He grinned softly. That was the moment he started liking Levi.
"Oh my gosh, Jay. You look so strange being in love." Felix' voice woke Jay up from his daydream.
"Oh?" He asked, without having a very memory of what his friend just said.
"Yeah," Riven mumbled. "It's kinda scary to witness you being like this."
Nick raised one eyebrow. "Scary? More like gross."
Felix turned to look at him. "I guess you now understand what I have to look at every day."
"What do you mean?" Jay could tell by Nick's voice that he was getting a bit defensive.
"You've never noticed the way you act when you're with Riven, I guess."
Nick leaned back a bit as a frown appeared his face. "What are you talking about? I'm not in love with Riven."
"Are you sure about that? You said otherwise before though."
Nick seemed to be slowly getting more and more angry as this conversation progressed.
"Listen, Felix. I love Riven, as a friend. He means a lot to me, but it's not like I'd want to kiss..." He went silent for a second, before he continued: "It's not like I'd want to kiss him."
Felix didn't even respond, looking at him with a smirk that said more about him not believing his friend than words ever could.
"Riven, tell him." Nick shifted the attention to his so-called boyfriend.
But Riven didn't say anything, looking quite confused about what exactly it was he had to tell Felix.
"That we don't like each other that way." Nick helped him.
"Oh." Riven smiled at Felix. "Nick really doesn't like me that way, don't worry."
Felix finally let it go, looking a bit too disappointed for someone doesn't like his friends dating.
"Oh, have you guys made your homework by the way? I was a bit busy, since I had an agreement with Youtube that I would be on there watching video's all night..."
Nick began calling him out for being lazy, but Jay looked at Riven instead. He was clearly deep away in his thoughts, looking a bit down for some reason. "Are you okay?" Jay couldn't hide his worries.
"I'm fine," Riven mumbled. "I was just thinking about some stuff."
"What is it?" Nick moved closer to him and put his arm around Riven's shoulder. "We will help you."
"It's nothing." Riven moved a bit away from Nick, but his boyfriend didn't seem to notice. "Don't worry, we won't laugh at you."
"I said it's nothing!"
Nick moved his arm away from Riven's shoulder and stared at him, shocked by his sudden outburst.
Felix and Jay awkwardly sat there, looking at how the two held eyecontact for a few seconds. Nick finally looked away. "Alright then."
Felix laughed, obviously uncomfortable with the entire situation. "Well... should we get something to eat?"
"Felix, are you stupid? We just had breakfast." Nick's voice didn't suit his words, as he sounded way too relieved with his friends words to be scolding him.
Riven covered his head with his hoodie, leaving no doubt to them about if he wanted to talk with them.
Jay was sure he had been thinking about something involving one of them, otherwise he would've surely told them what it was that he was thinking about.
He could already guess who of them had been the subject of Riven's thoughts.
Suddenly, his phone started ringing. He took it out of his pocket. An unknown number. He hesitated for a second, then he picked up.
"Hello, who is this?"
"Jay? This is-"
"Levi?"
《LEVI'S POV》
Levi had just sat down when Matt entered the classroom. He instantly noticed Levi, and walked over to him to sit down next to him. "Hey, Levi." Levi smiled at him, while Matt started taking his books out of his bag.
"I'm so not looking forward to today, I can already tell it's gonna be one of those days where literally nothing happens, except my braincells slowly dying from boredom, of course. Plus, Jay has no classes these first two hours, since his teacher is sick. Why don't we ever get that lucky?"
He looked at Levi, and realized his smile had disappeared off his face by the mention of his stepbrother. "Oh... I'm sorry, I should have remembered not to bring him up after what has happened."
Levi quickly turned towards him, and leaned over. "After what happened?" He whispered, without being able to hide the combination of anger and shock in his voice.
"I- I'm sorry..." Matt realised he had said too much.
"He told you?!" Levi whisper-yelled, while he felt himself starting to panic. "Who else did he tell? Why did he-"
"He didn't tell me... Well, not until after I kind of figured it out by myself. I don't know if he has told anyone else, but-"
"Okay class, let's start this class by opening our books on page 48, there..." Levi didn't listen anymore, since his head was too much of a chaos for him to process anything anyone was saying.
The door slammed open and Alex came running in. "I'm sorry I'm late, I missed the bus."
"Alex, this happened 2 weeks ago as well. Do you remember what I said back then?"
"Next time this happens you will be sent to the principal's office. But it was really not my fault, my mom didn't wake me up on time."
Levi leaned over towards Matt. "Give me his number."
"Whose? Ohh, Jay. Hm, that's gonna be at least 5 dollar."
"Are- are you selling his number to me right now?"
Matt nodded, apparently not at least a bit ashamed by the way he was making money off of his own supposed best friend. "Yup. You're lucky you're my friend, Jay paid me 15."
"WHAT?!"
"Levi, Matthias, silence."
Levi waited a while until the teacher had focused her full attention on Alex again, who was still pleading that it really wasn't his fault that there is no alarm in the world that could wake him up.
"Jay... has my phone number?"
Matt slowly shook his head. "No... I gave him mine instead. Anyway, he figured that out now. Luckily he's been way too busy thinking about you, so he forgot to ask me to pay him back."
"Well, I'm not paying you." Levi mumbled, though he honestly wasn't that sure about that either.
"Alright then, Alex. But next time..." "There won't be a next time."
Alex quickly walked over to the only seat that was still left open, next to a girl that Levi vaguely recognized. He looked at her for a while, and all of a sudden he realized that it was the girl that turned Nick's invite to go on a date down.
Then he felt something touching his arm. He looked down to see that Matt had put a little piece of paper on his table. He turned it around, and saw a phone number on the back, with one sentence written underneath it: "You're buying ice cream this afternoon."
He couldn't help but smile.
"Levi, pay attention please."
Levi quickly put his hand over the tiny piece of paper, scared the teacher would take it from him.
He waited for about 20 minutes into the class before he raised his hand to ask to go to the bathroom, knowing the teacher would question why he'd have to use the toilet right after class started.
The teacher nodded at him, and he quickly got up. When he arrived in the bathroom, he stared in the mirror for a while.
"Here we go." He whispered, and took out his phone.
His hands were trembling a bit as he typed in the number. He checked if he didn't make any mistakes 3 times, before he finally had gathered enough courage to call. The phone rang a few times, and then Jay picked up.
"Hello, who is this?"
His heart started beating faster after hearing his voice, and suddenly Levi felt like he wanted to run to wherever Jay was to hug him tightly and never let go.
"Jay? This is-"
"Levi?"
The excitement in Jay's voice made his heart skip a beat.
"Y-yes. It's Levi. I called you because..."
Wait... why exactly did he call again? He seemed to have forgotten everything else now he heard Jay again.
"Because?" Jay asked. But before Levi could answer, he continued: "It's great you called, I... I was just thinking about you."
"Yea, well it's not like you think about anything else ever." The voice on the background, who Levi quickly realized belonged to Felix, was shushed by two other voices.
"Are your friends with you right now?"
"Yes... wait a second."
A few seconds later Jay started talking again. "Not anymore. What did you call me for?"
Finally Levi remembered why he asked Matt for Jay's phone number, and he felt himself getting upset again. "How many people did you tell?"
"What do you- Oh my god, Matt, that piece of..." Jay didn't his sentence, instead Levi heard him take a deep breath before continuing. "I'm really sorry about that. I didn't tell anyone except for him... at least... Well I did tell my friends."
"I told Alex." Levi said, and he suddenly realized his hypocrisy. If he was allowed to tell Alex, why wasn't Jay allowed to tell Matt, who was his stepbrother who lived with him? But then again, Matt was Levi's friend as well.
"Oh." Jay responded. "That's fine. Levi, I'm really sorry. I know you are mad at me, and you have a right to be."
"Don't worry." Levi smiled, even though Jay wouldn't be able to see it. "Matt already said you didn't tell him until he figured it out himself. And about your friends, I told Alex as well, so it's fine."
"I wasn't talking about that, Levi." Jay's voice had suddenly become softer. "I was talking about me kissing you. I'm truly so sorry for not respecting your boundaries, I should've known not to-"
"Let's not talk about that. How are you doing?" Jay didn't immediately respond, so Levi continued: "I'm doing fine. I have another exam week in two weeks, which is crazy since it feels like the last one is literally a few day ago. But you probably already heard Matt complaining about it, knowing what he is li-"
"I miss you."
"W- what?"
"You asked me how I am doing. I'm busy missing you, every single day, and meanwhile regretting what I have done. I'm going crazy thinking about you all the time, and nothing can distract me from it. Also... I've just been wishing I could hug you, I want to turn back time, I want to-"
"Y- you can hug me. Friends can hug, I also sometimes hug Alex, when I'm in a really good mood."
He listened to Jay letting out a big sigh. "I don't want to hug you like a friend, Levi."
Levi felt tears welling up in his eyes as the realization hit him. "So, you don't want to be friends with me?"
"I wish I could, but I can't. I can't act like your friend, when in reality everytime I see you, I want to hold you, and kiss you, and..."
He didn't finish his sentence, and they both went silent for some time.
While Jay was speaking, Levi had sat down on the floor, with his back against the wall.
"I'm sorry, Minnie." Jay whispered.
Levi took the phone away from his ear, and as the first tears started to fall down, ended the call.
《END OF THIS CHAPTER》
I just died a bit inside ngl