RPOV
"He cut off contact with me, so no, I won't be here while he is." Lissa was too like me sometimes— so damn stubborn. "I'll be outside the wards until you absolutely need me."
"You're not even going to challenge him to explain everything in one word?"
"He had the opportunity to explain and apologize the morning he left. So again, it's a no."
"Should I call Eddie and tell him not to switch?"
"Do that and you'll be guardian-less until they leave, and heaven help them if she's pregnant or they've already got a kid."
"You're overreacting, Rose."
"I'm being cautious, that's all."
"Gah! You're making me want to pull my hair out."
"Unfortunately, I know and it's doubling my desire to do so myself."
"You are aware if either look they'll see the signs."
"But not be able to link it to me. Not if I'm not there."
"It's him, he'll link it to you Because you're not there."
"You know, I'd never imagined planning your wedding would become such an impossible task."
"My wedding planning isn't the impossible task here, Rose, and I know you know it."
"I can't just drop everything."
"You can't avoid this though. You can keep putting it off, but you can't avoid it."
"Well now isn't the time. He left me. If he wants back in my life he'll need to prove to me he can keep up." Honestly though, a part of me knew she was right, the same part that knew I didn't want to acknowledge I would still drop everything to do as he says. That was the same part that was denying I already wanted to run into the arms he no longer held open for me.
DPOV
This trip would be incredibly hard. I wanted to sort things out with Rose, but I didn't know how, or where to start. I had been trying to figure it out for nearly a decade now and I was still as clueless as I was to why I left in the first place. That didn't even feel like it had been me doing it until I was on the plane with Tasha. By now I could be happily married to Rose if I hadn't been forced to leave.
As soon as we reached Court grounds I tendered my resignation. I could suffer no longer. Tasha was a great friend but constantly far too desperate for my attention, so ready to shame Rose on anything that wasn't guarding Lissa. And even then she had her limits. She was jealous and desperate, and I was just plain desperate to escape. With my resignation I also denounced our friendship.
Leaving behind a stunned and very angry, heartbroken Tasha, I headed to admin and Hans Croft therein. Only, behind the desk, in its seat I found the woman I had expected to earn such a position at such a young age.
"Guardian Hathaway," I greeted with the utmost respect I felt for her.
"Guardian Belikov. What is it I can do for you?" Her guard was well and truly up, but I could still read how hard she was fighting for her control, to not kick my ass; to remain professional at all costs.
I pulled out a form she was sure to recognise well. "I've resigned as Tasha Ozera's guardian, effective immediately, and am applying for a transfer to Court."
I laid the papers on the desk in front of her. Her eyes bore into me as if we'd never parted ways and I wanted to squirm now as much as I had previously. What was she seeing? What was she looking for? Her cell rang before she said a word or twitched a muscle.
"Head Guardian Hathaway here, how may I help you?" There was a response and her eyes darted nervously towards me and back to the wall. "She did what?" Another response had her eyes widening and then burning a hole in her desk as she shook her head. "Fine. I'll be right over." Rose hung up and darted out the door. She poked her head back in like a child playing a game, but her expression said she was doing anything but. "Don't you goddamn think about thinking of moving from this office, Belikov. We still have a few things to discuss." She called down the hallway, "Vladimir!"
"Yes, ma'am?" a young male voice asked.
"I need you to keep an eye on some dangerous goods in my office while I go and deal with an injured Ivanna."
"What was it this time?" he whined in what sounded like amusement. By his tone I gathered he knew this Ivanna rather well and wasn't particularly surprised by this news.
"Take a guess."
"Oh good god. Will she never learn?"
"She's your sister, what do you think?"
"She may be my sister, but she's nothing like me. Please go save her from herself. I'll behave, trust me."
As soon as the boy entered I heard a muttering from Rose as she walked away. "Why d'you think I asked you...?"
"Who are you?" he asked as he locked me in. He looked to be ten, but his height told a different story. He already appeared to be a teen, but his face shape and high voice indicated he was still a little kid.
"Guardian Belikov, nice to meet you," I greeted and offered my hand to shake.
"Vladimir, nice to meet you too," he said as he shook my hand. Definitely a guardian in training. His grip hurt for a ten year old. It was nearly unheard of for dhampirs to be trained at Court... then again, it was just as unheard of for a guardian mother to be assigned to Court.
"You don't look dangerous," he commented a short while later.
I chuckled at his innocence. "Neither do you. If I were a Moroi, I'd have a bruise from that handshake."
Vladimir grinned proudly. It was close to a smirk. Certainly a very weird cross between the two.
"How old are you, Vladimir, because you certainly are tall?"
"Mom says I get that from my dad, since I'm nearly her height already. And I'm nine, by the way. But I'll be ten in ten weeks." Well, that both was and wasn't a surprise. "You, Guardian Belikov?"
I shook my head. "You don't want to know how old I am, believe me. The moment R— Guardian Hathaway turned twenty-six was the moment I really felt old."
"Why?" Vlad quirked a brow. Only then did I register where he was sitting. In the boss's chair. Why did that seem so in character to me even though I'd only just met the boy?
"She was my student... and a very dear friend." The kind of very dear friend that makes other women jealous; the kind of friend with... benefits. "When she turned twenty-six she officially became older than I was the last time I saw her." Why was I telling him this? Why did it feel so important—not to mention natural—to tell him? Or was it just because I could finally talk about the last time I'd seen Rose without being judged?
"So, what, that would make you... thirty-five, maybe thirty-six?"
I honest-to-god gulped in fear of this boy. "How well do you know her?"
He smirked. "Ask my sister," he nodded towards the now unlocked and open door.
"Ask me what?" The girl certainly didn't have her brother's height. But as she stood in front of Rose I could have sworn she was a replica, or a little Rose who had travelled in time.
"How well we know the new Head Guardian, Eva," Vlad said without missing a beat.
"You know that's top secret," cried Rose and her replica.
"I still don't see why," complained Vlad.
"Because she won't tell us, Vlad!"
"Okay, the both of you, enough. Out. Now. Vlad, take your sister home the back way."
The boy nodded and took his sister's hand, the one that wasn't bandaged. The height difference alone was cute and comical, but their clash of personalities... nothing could compare. I really was left wondering how they were all related.
"As for you, Belikov," Rose snapped as she locked the door. "You're extremely lucky with your timing. There's one particular spot open that I think you need to fill. However. You'll need to be tested against me first. And if you're not up to scratch, you'll have me training you at whatever hour of the day or night I can find to squeeze you in. Got it?"
I nodded sharply. "Yes, ma'am." It felt so weird, the roles were reversed and then some.
"One more thing, Belikov. No getting distracted by the kids, got it?" Oh, she still had it, she still knew my soft spots and was determined to exploit them, apparently.
"Understood, Guardian Hathaway."
"Now get changed and meet me in Guest Guardian Gym B in ten."
I made it to the requested gym in six minutes. To find Rose at the punching bag with the kids off to the side, in the foyer/ balcony area. The two were quite clearly under her jurisdiction, but I just simply couldn't figure out how come.
"Laps, Belikov, twenty-four in under thirty minutes. Vlad—you go time him, you know what to look for." She didn't stop her assault on the bag as she spoke, nor did she start panting as she once would have. "Anna, can you put the mats out?" Her tone she aimed at the kids was kind, but strict. She was ordering without ordering. It had been the tone I had so often used on her. With Vladimir holding the stopwatch we exited the gym and made our way to the track.
"Does she always use that voice on you?" I couldn't help asking. A rarity for me.
"Not always. Just mostly when she's stressed. She's really kind and funny normally."
"Yeah, she's always been that way," I agreed. I was more than thankful Tasha had had a gym for her own sake. One that had included a treadmill for when she didn't let me run around the block. Even at my age—y-ouch, I felt old—it wasn't unreasonable to expect the time challenge Rose had set me. Especially with my training having been an escape time, I had thrown myself into it as much as I had with Rose; put together with the need to prove myself to her to get that charge she wanted to give me, I successfully worked my butt off through the gruelling twenty-four laps. Once again, she was making me feel like an hormonal teenage boy desperate to impress his crush.
Then we moved onto sparring. I soon enough saw why she had the reputation and job she did. She was Art Schoenberg all over again. She had new tactics and new ways her body moved that I couldn't predict or block for the first two rounds. But she wasn't the only quick study in this pairing, especially when it came to each other's body. After losing the first two matches I finally won the third.
If there was only one guardian who stood a chance of making her falter or who could win a match against her nowadays, it was me. Call me cocky if you wish, but it had long-since become an inherent truth, one close to a law.
Back at the Academy, I had been seen as a god by the kids, and Rose had quickly become my protégé, the goddess and a hero to them at only seventeen. It was practically a law of our world: only Rose Hathaway and Dimitri Belikov stood a chance losing to each other, though no one understood why, it just was, an absolute truth. Heaven forbid either of us were turned Strigoi.
"I haven't lost in a very long time. Almost forgotten how it felt," she murmured softly. She was pinned under me like so many times before, so long ago. Only this time the practice stake she'd handed me was poised over her heart. Her eyes glowed again, this time not with triumph, but with pride. "The student surpasses the teacher... or stakes, rather," she quoted. I smiled, actually smiled, feeling a genuine warmth and happiness, a genuine amusement, I hadn't felt in a decade. I felt complete once more.
"Now do you understand how I felt back then?" The smile remained on my face as I holstered the fake stake and separated her wrists, taking her left in my right hand. All the while we were still breathing hard and I was shaking my head in amusement at the past memories and present moment.
"I always understood, you asshole," she teased. But a darkening of her eyes told me she was referring to not understanding why I left. She meant the asshole part seriously. It didn't sting nearly as much as she no doubt intended it to.
I leant down to her ear so the watching kids I'd just remembered were present couldn't hear. "Compulsion." If I only had one word to explain myself, then that was the most honest and accurate one. I wasn't about to waste it on an apology she wouldn't listen to because I knew if I started one everything would come out of my mouth like all the floodgates of a dam had been completely opened. I had a long while to fawn and suck-up to her, show her how horrible I felt, how sorry I was, how much I regretted my weakness, and prove to her I would do anything to be a part of her life again. And this was only the beginning.
"You weak ass. Let's see if you can win three from five." There was a dangerous, very personal challenge in her bottomless, melted-chocolate brown eyes. One I was more than willing to accept.
"Get cleaned up. We'll discuss your charge and expectations in my office in half an hour." As you probably guessed, Rose now stood in front of me rubbing a sore spot on her forearm after losing the last two matches and seeing my work with the dummies and punching bag. She took Vladimir and Ivanna with her and I left to relieve my sore muscles in a hot shower. I hadn't had a challenge that great, a spar that intense, in a decade... if ever. She really was my own personal challenge and trial. The one I love.
I was knocking on her office door in twenty-five. Only she wasn't in. Apparently not all habits can change completely. I waited outside until she arrived a minute late. As boss she didn't have to explain if she didn't want to, but she did anyway. And her rushed explanation left me wondering if she felt like a guilty schoolgirl again. Because she certainly looked and sounded the part... And I found it rather cute and endearing. "Anna wouldn't eat dinner and Vlad kept cheering her on, then neither would shower or go to sleep." Her tone and words were surprisingly parental, frustrated but amused. Her next words stung, really stung. She could call me all sorts of names, but her worship of another man was incredibly, unbearably agonising. And she wasn't even trying to make me jealous. "Thank god for Adrian, don't know where I'd be without him."
She gestured for me to sit as she strode around the room purposefully, completely unaware she'd just caused a little green monster to come out of the gash in my heart where she'd sliced it in half and ripped it from my chest. She was all business despite muttering about Vlad and Anna as she went. For a moment I wasn't sure if she was talking about the kids or about the Saint and his shadow-kissed, bound guardian.
"I'm sure you don't need half this file, but it's protocol." She handed me a Manila folder and a USB. "I know you know how top secret half this Moroi's information can be, but there's some very new, very recent information that not even the partner or kids can know until after.... Understood?"
"Understood," I nodded. "Lock and key and passwords, physically, digitally and mentally." I didn't need to elaborate, but I could see she appreciated me verbally acknowledging the responsibility she had placed on my shoulders.
"I should warn you, Belikov, there's information omitted from that file that's been agreed upon by the queen, Croft, your charge and myself that can only be left secured in certain conditions only the four of us can know. A code black."
It was unheard of for information on a guarded Moroi to be left out of their file. Especially high-rank royals. Regardless, if the queen, a top-rank Council member and two Head Guardians had ordered an omission then the agreed omission was to be made. It simply was an inarguable case. Still, I took it in stride and confirmed my understanding.
"I expect the best from you, Belikov. You haven't been given this position lightly or easily and it won't be an easy job to keep. It's a massive step up from having Lady Ozera as your charge. The best or I'll have you replaced. Understood?" It wasn't a question really, more like a demand. I nodded anyway. "Whenever possible, whenever I call you, I expect you wherever I choose within two minutes unless told otherwise. I expect to be able to find you in the gym if off duty and not in your room. I expect to be able to fight you for twenty minutes and it be intricate, complex and challenging on both sides. And I especially expect you to not ask questions about Vlad and Anna if and when I ask you to babysit or train them. Understood?"
She shoved a bound and covered agreement manual in front of me to read and sign. To my surprise, Vladimir and Ivanna were included in the agreement, but there was no surname or mention of their relatives other than each other. The secrecy around their identity shocked me and I was beginning to think that was the omitted information, the information classed as top secret. But not even top secret really properly covered it. It was certainly more like the code black she'd mentioned. I had no doubt this manual would be filed by her and her alone under the code black protocol and in the no doubt extreme but necessary protection conditions.
I was dismissed and left to find my permanent dorm. After grabbing my stuff from the guest housing room I'd been provided, of course. Inside I found a safe. Within that safe I found another and then another. This reminded me of the nesting dolls my sisters, nieces, and mother so loved. Inside the fourth safe I found instructions to place the files within each safe and to set different and different length codes for each safe. Then to put the six nesting safes within the hidden, bullet-proof safe and call my charge over to spell-bind it so only I could see and access it.
After studying the files time and again I had the information committed to memory and was ready to secure it. I thought long and hard about the codes.
The innermost safe was a tiny key-access-only one specifically for the password protected USB, so that was easy. The USB went in the tiny safe I swear was a shrunken key safe.
The final of the nesting safes contained the remaining and earliest information, right back to my charge's birth... and my charge's lifelong guardian's. I once again placed the safes within and protected it. This final code was a mix of digits and letters no one should be able to guess unless they read my mind. If anyone penetrated even one of the seven safes we were screwed. Especially given the sheer volume and breadth and depth of information on my charge also included all records about my charge's relatives, lover and lifelong guardian's records. Well... there was a few things that may have been missing simply because they hadn't been known in the first place. That, or it had been omitted under code black.
Once I had locked the hidden safe and thoroughly destroyed my initial way into the safes I called my charge over. To say pleasure and surprise shone on her face would be an understatement. Much to her fiancé's dismay, she leapt into my arms and nearly suffocated me with her hug. She had incredible strength for a Moroi, evidence she was one of many now training in secret. It didn't terribly surprise me.
"I knew she'd do it!" she squealed while jumping down and pushing her fiancé back out the door with a constant string of playful chastising and slaps to the shoulder. Once the door lock clicked she set to work. "I knew she'd sign off on you replacing her." Now that was news to me.
"She resigned?" I asked in shock.
"She has other priorities, Dimitri. Not to mention she's flooded with work as Head Guardian. She only just got the job. Nearly no one knows about the promotion yet.
"Vladimir and Ivanna are as... mysterious and gifted as the bound Saint and Guardian and they keep her busy." She let out a soft, fond laugh. "They keep all of Court busy. From tutors, to mentors; from babysitters, to visitors; from café owners to playground guardians. Even the queen constantly makes time in her schedule for them."
"I've barely met them and they've got me captivated. They are incredibly precious, that much is blatantly obvious. You can't help but love them, can you?"
"No, you can't," she agreed. "Why don't you come to dinner?"
"Will she be there?" That woman's appetite beat mine hands down.
"I may have talked her into it and having Mia babysit. She's expecting you there."
"As guardian or as guest?"
"As guest."
"Okay," I agreed. I wasn't allowed to deny my charge anything if it didn't harm or risk her. And I physically, emotionally and spiritually couldn't deny Roza anything, period. As my Roza or Ivashkov's little dhampir, it didn't matter which, I could never deny her.
"Guardian Hathaway," I greeted when she answered the door.
"You're making me feel like my mother," she grumbled teasingly as she gestured me in.
"Then what should I call you?" I said, acknowledging the rocky ground we were on.
"Rose, but let out a Roza and it's back to title. Bring up Vlad and Anna and I'll suspend you."
That would be hard, but I would do it. I wanted to fix things with her. I needed to. I had to before I could be truly happy again. She completed me, whatever role it was she chose to play in my life. As long as we were on first name basis and dealing with the issues Tasha had brought about, then I would be happy and complete. Even if jealousy because of Adrian constantly ate at me, as long as we weren't fighting or ignoring each other, that's all that mattered to me.
"Rose, I want Anna as a bridesmaid," Lissa begged over post-dinner wedding planning coffee and biscuits. I almost felt British rather than a Russian entrenched in the American lifestyle.
"It's too public, Liss, too high-profile. You know that."
"I could always make a charm for her."
"You'd have to be making two everyday for over a year and a half. No. And don't even think about offering to make Vladimir's, Adrian."
"But they're loved about Court!"
"That's a tiny fraction of our world, it's different. Do you know how many people will turn out for this? The whole planning and organising process? Do you know how many guardians I already have to reshuffle? So no. Absolutely not. Pictures taken with us that stay with us is one thing, but her images, their images, publicised around the world? That violates code black." I realised this was her trump card. Lissa's expression confirmed she knew it. Christian looked resigned to lifelong confusion regarding the twins. Tasha simply appeared to be totally lost. I half knew what code black referred to, but only Lissa and Rose knew the intricacies of what was excluded from her file. I had been right it had to do with the twins, but I still didn't have a clue why. From Christian's resigned confusion I gathered he couldn't start to take half a guess, just like me. As for Ivashkov, he simply looked to me and smirked like the smug spoiled royal he was. I refused to roll my eyes then slap him.
"Fine," Lissa sighed. "They can be wherever you feel is best."
"Who are Anna and Vladimir?" Tasha asked.
I bit my lip to stop my tongue from wagging. And judging from Lissa and Rose's stiffened muscles I knew she was skating on thin ice with both of them. Rose eventually sighed.
"They're kids I look after with an incredible amount of assistance. Even the queen helps."
Tasha's eyes darted over to Adrian and back, questioningly. To my surprise she shook her head. From what I had seen of Anna, I knew there was a genetic link to Rose somewhere, but I just wasn't sure where or how. It was Vlad's looks that really threw me. Sure, he looked related to Rose and Ivanna, but there were subtle differences— the lighter brown of his hair, his natural tan was deeper, his eyes a little more almond shape—that all must have come from his father or previous generations in Rose's family. Then there was the obvious difference that was his height.
"Then...?"
"No," Rose and Lissa snapped.
Much to Tasha's shock. Lissa was known for being Rose's polar opposite. This went against her nature. Given the code black surrounding the kids I knew this was a serious, almost life-depends-on-it measure for the two kids and both Lissa and Rose would take this to the grave.
"I said I look after them, I didn't say I had them," Rose almost growled.
"Rose," I said nearly pleadingly and rested my pinkie over hers. She immediately whipped her head to mine. My eyes begged her to regain control of the darkness. I never wanted to witness an explosion which led to another breakdown. Not because I couldn't handle the thought of it, but because I didn't want her to feel weak and on the edge of a potentially-life-threatening precipice ever again. I felt her pinkie lock with mine, the look in her eyes told me a silent, tightly bound promise. And a sign of gratitude.
"I'll explain later if you walk me home," she mouthed. I nodded minutely. Her lips twitched into a smile as she relaxed.
She turned to Lissa and got the actual wedding plans back on track. But her pinkie never loosened, never left mine. If anything, the longer this night wore on the tighter she gripped. For someone so pissed at me she was incredibly, silently dependant upon me at the moment. She was surprisingly clingy. Unlike Tasha's desperate bids for my attention, Rose seemed to be anchoring herself subconsciously. I can't say I didn't enjoy it, that I wasn't moved by it, because that would be a complete lie. I had missed her so incredibly much it was as if half my soul had been missing, and I had been, because I wasn't allowed anything Roza related. Not even her name had been allowed to pass my lips. Rose was so strong, so very strong and independent, but even she had her weaknesses. I was one of them. She needed me more than she let herself acknowledge—I'd long-since realised that. I was her strength and salvation like she was mine. My kills became easier to bear because of her, just as I eased the side-effects of the bond. So every time her pinkie tightened, mine returned it as if to tell her 'I'm right here, I'm supporting you, you're not alone.' Because that's exactly what I was thinking, what I was doing.
Rose soon enough decided to go home. As she stood her pinkie tugged me up. I met her eyes and smiled as I had in the gym. Only her, only ever she could bring about that uncontrollable full smile. She smiled back and fully entwined her hand in mine. I never wanted that contact to end, never ever.
We got very odd looks from the few guardians we walked by as we made our way to her home in silence, hands still connected. We ignored them, of course. I hadn't a clue where we stood, but the warmth between us now was enough for me to be able to push aside the looks of my colleagues. First I'm in love with my student, then my boss... one and the same woman. Whoever said love gave a damn about social standing? Certainly not mine.
She pulled me inside her home, paid Mia and sent her home. She led me upstairs and into the room the kids shared. The half cowgirl themed room. "I had you agree to not asking questions, but I never had you agree to not speaking about them to anyone outside the code black four. I see the way you look at them, I see the twinkle they bring to your eye." A deep breath was taken. "I've seen your understanding and desire to protect them." She took both of my calloused hands in hers and faced me full-on. "I trust you with their identities, Lissa trusts you with their identities. That's eighty percent of the code black four I'm ready to increase to the code black five." Her hands slid up my arms as mine had done to hers once upon a time. Her lips met mine as she stood on tip-toes. "You know their birth dates; do the math and figure out whose surname they should carry."
Then she kissed me. For the first time in a decade she kissed me. The love, the longing, the anger, heartbreak, loneliness of our time apart poured out into each other. So did desire, and hope. It was an apology and a promise. Not just to each other, for each other, but to the twins, for them and their protection.
"I love you, Roza, all of you."
"You saved me tonight. Lissa's stints on med's can only do so much. Thank you. I love you so much; I may hate your guts sometimes, but that never lasts. I love you too much, Daddy. In this house and this house alone, your title is Daddy, Comrade."
"Oh, I think I've missed that stupid nickname as much as I've missed you, Mommy." Had I ever. It meant more to me than I had ever let on.
"You know you have. And welcome to their protection team."
"I never want to let them out of my sight, or their mother."
"You have a job to do just like me. We don't wear the marks we do for no reason. And you'll have to let them out of your sight sometimes. But trust me and be aware, the separation anxiety never leaves. Though I will make sure you do Vlad's soccer runs and Ivanna's dance ones."
I chuckled quietly. Luckily, neither child stirred. "Thanks." We took one last look at the twins for the night before shutting their door. Not knowing how welcome I was to stay, I made for the stairs and front door. But Rose blocked me.
"Stay," she begged. "I want you to stay." How could I deny her?
"Are you sure it's healthy?"
"It's healthier than you always acting as though you're on visiting hours."
"You never needed me to be wise, Roza. You're wise enough on your own."
"I had a good teacher. But... Well..." she purred as she walked her fingers up my chest. Her eyes called to me with their suggestive gaze. This was not the nervous young woman I'd taken to bed in the cabin, the teen whose last thread of innocence she'd given to me. "I'm about to ask a not-so-wise question." I gulped and she smirked alluringly as the feel of her hands snaking around my neck became nearly unbearable. "Don't you think it's time they had a sibling to keep in line?"
By now she was fully pressed against me, my arms trapped her there, ensuring the destruction of my control and ability to think about anything other than satiating her desires. I should have done the opposite of what I did. But how could I when she came first? I should have told her to wait. Instead, I seized the moment, nodded and caught her lips with mine. We were ten years older, both incredibly lucky to be alive, and both ready to be parents this time round. No matter what it took to hide their identities, we were ready.
Lissa'sPOV
Rose and Dimitri walked out the door and I could just hear the bells ringing as they did so. I had noticed every interaction between the two tonight: verbal, non-verbal, physical and spiritual. They were made for each other—the perfect way his hand encased hers was proof enough. I'd seen his reaction to the mention of Ivanna and Vladimir more than once. He had the fire of a father and I knew he could be trusted. I knew he'd do anything to protect them. One look at Rose's aura as she left told me she had decided to reveal it all to him. And then some... maybe.
Tasha looked thoroughly jealous. First he resigns then he reconnects with her, and now they were practically screaming out they were getting together... in more ways than one. Yeah, no wonder she was jealous. Rose was 'the other woman' in her eyes. But Rose and Dimitri's auras melted into one another's and pulsed in sync. They glowed even without the sex.
"Is she seriously going to be his little whore?" she snarled. "Have a one night stand with her teacher?"
"Rose isn't a whore!" all four of us snapped. Eddie had been relieved just before Rose left, and Adrian was still hanging around. And she wonders why I made Rose head bridesmaid. She was the one who was a jealous man-stealer, not Rose. And for what? He hadn't even kissed her.
"I think it best you leave," Christian and I directed.
"Rose just landed Dimitri, didn't she?" Christian asked once we were snuggling in bed.
"Babe, she landed Dimitri the second he laid eyes on her over a decade ago."
Christian just stared at me. "Are you trying to tell me those two had an illegal relationship back at the Academy, on top of dealing with all that drama?"
I nodded. "Rose told me a week after he left. When I really thought about it I realised it had been going on all year."
Christian'sPOV
They didn't seem the type. Rose with half the seniors? Yes. Dimitri completely alone? Yes. Rose and Dimitri training together? Yes. Rose and Dimitri sleeping together? No. Rose sleeping with a teacher? No. Dimitri sleeping with a student? Hell no. Rose and Dimitri sleeping together while student and teacher? What drugs are you on or what planet do you come from, because never in a million years would that ever happen. Yet here my fiancée was telling me it had happened. That they'd practically been inseparable. I just couldn't process it.
"Are you sure?"
The thing she said next sent my brain into overload. "She was a virgin until the night of the attack. You know how she went crazy then disappeared for four hours until she found you?"
I nodded numbly. "Please don't tell me he was popping her cherry?" Her blush told me everything. "She had just had sex before saving my ass since we were about to?" I really didn't want to think about those two getting it on. Seriously, how did they not have bruises? I'd seen them fight so how did they come away clean?
"Yep. In the old watch-post cabin, complete with a tiny, snuggle room only bed, and the fireplace ablaze."
"How did you know that? Better yet, why?"
She shrugged. "For once she lived the dream. And, well, she knew sparks didn't fly my first time. Not to mention she was there when we conceived the kids since she still can't control the bond in her sleep."
Ew! I would forever hate that. It was harder to fathom Rose being in Lissa's head while we had sex than it was to process her as a mother or her being Dimitri's lover. The worst thing is knowing the way I make Lissa feel is what pulls her in in the first place. Ew. No. Just no. There's having a threesome then there's that, that's in its own league of wrong and grosses out all three participants.
RPOV
I had to do something, anything to protect baby number three when I find out if he or she was conceived. But for today I was cancelling all Dimitri's shifts, having Hans sub in for me at work, taking the kids out of their classes, and telling the queen she's relieved of babysitting duties and she can go stick it if she doesn't like it, because the twins have a family day complete with their father.
"Morning, Dimitri," I mumbled as I woke with a warm, chiseled chest as my pillow and an accompanying pair of arms as my blanket.
"Morning, Roza," he whispered lovingly. That reminded me... oh god, he was brilliant. But now I was aching. No amount of combat training could've prepared me for what he did last night... for what we did last night. Labour pain was in a league all of its own, but this won over the ache post-cabin. "You were seriously out of shape last night, woman," he teased.
"Like you were any better."
"Well I was better than you..."
"Hey! Watch it. It was like my first time all over again."
"So I noticed, love."
"Don't you dare imply I'm inexperienced or the twins'll come barging in on your punishment and demand breakfast."
"Well you clearly haven't been active for a couple of years."
"A couple!" I exclaimed. "Try a full decade. You going in is completely different from them coming out, and nothing could prepare me for either. Trust me, I wanted no other to cause either again. If the twins were to have a sibling they weren't getting a half one."
"I may have just met them, but can you tell how proud I am to have the most perfect babies ever?" He sounded like a gloating child, like Ivanna with a new duster or Vladimir after mastering one of my combat moves.
I couldn't help laughing. "You must know you sound like a child— your child, both of them."
"And you don't when you talk about them?" he drawled suggestively in a lust-thickened Russian accent.
"Nope, never."
His brown eyes met mine, blindsiding me with their cunning and suggestiveness. God, karma could be a bitch sometimes. That look from me had gotten him into trouble now it was going to be getting me into trouble... yet again. "You're a terrible liar, Roza."
"And your kids are going to thwart your plans any second now." Sure, we locked the door last night, but it wasn't past the both of them to pick at it and find their way in anyway. I knew this time was no different since I could hear them working away with one of Anna's bobby pins. Rushing around at mother-speed I threw some pjs on and threw Dimitri his shirt and underpants from yesterday. His actual slacks I dropped in the hamper just inside the ensuite's entrance. When I popped back into bed I sat to attention, next to an unsuspecting and relaxed but dressed nonetheless Dimitri. Seconds later I heard the click.
"Remind me to confiscate her bobby pins again."
"Morning Mommy," they greeted with too much energy as they jumped onto the bed. And of course, Ivanna couldn't do it without showing off.
"Ivanna, that's exactly how you hurt yourself yesterday, young lady."
"But Mommy!" she whined cutely. And to think these two adorable ratbags were to become guardians.
"Ivanna, listen to your mother," Dimitri chastised.
"Eva listen to Mom for once," Vlad echoed at the same time.
Anna ignored her brother and went straight for her father. Uh oh. "Who are you to tell me what to do, Guardian Belikov?" Why was it that whenever she was exactly like me, she was like the most extremely rude, demanding and stubborn me?
Dimitri looked to me with pleading eyes. I sighed. Here came the extremely unpleasant and difficult speech I didn't want to make. There was the 'meet Mom's boyfriend' speech, then there was the 'meet your father, no not your step father but your impossible biological father, the one who you have to pretend is your mother's boyfriend until we say otherwise' speech. Shoot me now, because this was going to rival the birds and the bees and the Moroi and the dhampir talk. Sometimes I reckon being an adult is more than just a bitch. Now is one of those times. But I wouldn't trade my kids—my family—for anything.
"Both of you might want to get comfortable because I'm about to explain code black to you."
"Really?" They asked eagerly before eyeing off Dimitri again. He laughed.
"I'm not a threat, babies. Your mother explained code black to me last night."
"I thought only Aunt Lissa was meant to know?" Anna.
"And Uncle Hans?"
"And Aunt Ana?"
"You mean Aunt Tatiana," I corrected.
They shook their heads. "She said she likes Aunt Ana," reasoned Vlad.
"And what she says, goes," justified his twin. Honestly, there was never a dull moment with them. It was like looking at what outsiders see when Lissa and I do that with the bond.
"Well, yes, and there was one other who code black both blocked and let in if over seventy percent of us four agreed he was ready to know, ready to know and willing to protect. And he sits right next to me. Code black was designed so it protects your identities from being linked to his. It protects you— all of us— from experiments and potential threats to your lives. It works to keep hidden the exception to the dhampir creation rule."
The twins looked between us in confusion. Then at the same time their eyes reflected what their clever brains had simultaneously realised and their eyes settled on Dimitri. "You're our dad?" they asked in unison. Then they looked between us again, stared at each other and groaned. "Please tell us you're not making us a brother or a sister," begged Vlad. I hadn't told them the birds and the bees yet. I was going to shoot Christian. My god-children's father and a Moroi or not, I was going to shoot him.
Dimitri and I exchanged a panicked look before laughing. "You don't get a say in that, Vlad. Same goes for you, Anna," said Dimitri.
"But Daddy!" she turned on and ramped up the Daddy's Princess charm. "It's yucky!"
"But nothing, Ivanna. Now, the same rules apply for Daddy as they do for me: Only in this house. It's Rose and Dimitri until the cows called Vlad, Anna, Rose and Dimitri come home. Got it?" I used my stern but loving Mom voice and they reluctantly agreed before jumping on Dimitri.
I collected the master hamper, went and grabbed their outfits for today and set them on their beds, tipped their hampers' contents into the master and dropped it in the washing machine, then added the powder Lissa rightfully insisted I use and turned it on before heading downstairs. Once in the kitchen the coffee machines were switched on alongside the pancake skillet, the mix and choc chips made their way from the fridge to the prep bench and the bowl and utensils found their way to the side of the mix. Once the milk was added and the batter doing whatever reaction it does while the timer was on, I texted Hans and Lissa, the twins' tutors and mentors for today, and made my way back upstairs while calling Tatiana's assistant.
The breakfast routine ran like a well-oiled machine every morning, and it was the one routine I absolutely loved. To me, it was the parental version of my old morning trainings with Dimitri. The not-so-smooth dinner, bed and bath routines were a close second and still a nice replacement for the night training routines. I loved providing the twins with some semblance of a stereotypical family life and even more so, I loved knowing I was being more hands-on and involved than my mother had been.
When I'd learned I was going to be a single Mom I had truly grasped the severity of my own mother's choice. But, being Dimitri's kids, with or without him being an asshole who left me, I knew I wouldn't sacrifice my kids for my career. I couldn't stand the thought of being a repeat of my mother. I had played would you rather with myself and made some startling and eye-opening choices. One being I would rather be disgraced by society than not be there when my kid or kids needed me most. I would rather be seen as coddling them than them seeing me as absent. I would rather them understand and experience the powerful importance of family and love than have parental problems just like me. I would rather be seen as a blood whore than not seen at all. That last one had astounded me the most, but after the sacrifices I'd made, I wanted recognition I was alive, even if it was the wrong type. Until code black had come into play and the queen praised me on my ability to still do an outstanding job as Lissa's guardian, as my kill count increased and as the twins started amusing visitors to Court, the rumours of me being a vile and worthless blood whore started disappearing. It had been a long, hard road that first year and a bit, but it had been worth it. It was still hard, but much more worth it. I had the best of both worlds, even if I had to keep a very clear line between the two of them.
The sight I was greeted with upon my return to my room was another reminder and more proof that it was all worth it. The twins sat on either side of their father, laughing as he recounted some tale.
"Did Mommy really growl at you, Daddy?" asked Anna.
Dimitri nodded. "And attacked me as her training dictated even though the slacker hadn't trained for two years. She didn't stand a chance. But in that moment I saw her nearly exactly as she is now— the princess's defender and protector, a one woman army, and a guardian willing to sacrifice her life in ways that hadn't been seen let alone taught in over a century. I saw the legend of Rose Hathaway starting to come out to play. I saw the beautiful, lethal, gifted woman I'd be in love with for the rest of my life." Dimitri's eyes lifted to meet mine. "In that moment I was the first to see Rose Hathaway not as a rebel, not as a shadow, not as a feared badass, but as a person who loves with all her heart and protects with all her being. I was the first to meet Rose Hathaway, the understanding adult." The love that radiated from his eyes and rang in his voice was heartwarming. "You were never a devil-child to me, Roza, you were and always will be an angel of justice, redemption, salvation and love. My angel."
"And you'll forever be my personal trial of a Russian jailer, Comrade," I teased as I joined my family on the bed.
"That's a contradiction of terms, Roza."
"That's the definition of Guardian Dimitri Belikov— contradictory."
The twins laughed. And after a couple seconds we did too.
"Breakfast will be ready to cook soon, so go get dressed," I told the twins. Once they were out the door I found the replacement doorknob and went about the DIY task. Years ago I'd learned it was easier, cheaper and quicker just to replace the darn thing myself. "Don't laugh," I warned as I worked. "This is your children's handiwork; it comes from your brains mixed with my logic and impatience. And it happens at least once a week. I honestly don't know why I keep bothering with replacing it with locking ones. They're only going to pick it again. That reminds me," I held up the incriminating bobby pin, "your daughter's bobby pins need confiscating. Those two honestly don't care about leaving the guilty makeshift picking device where I'll find it. Any other sneaky, shifty actions they can and do hide extremely well, but picking my lock? That's another story all together. Why they can't just knock I will never understand."
"They're kids, Roza. Our kids, if you'll remember. Neither of us have grown up doing things the conventional way. That even goes for two dhampir being unable to conceive together."
"There, all fixed. Now let's see how long it takes them to decide to destroy another one." I threw the old doorknob away before searching for a pair of his pj pants I'd snagged one night before he'd left... alongside a pair of boxers and a couple of shirts on different occasions. Even a decade later I found myself sleeping with them occasionally. Even if his scent was gone they had been his and the memory of his scent, the images of him wearing them was enough to send me to sleep with minimal tears. "Here," I chucked him the winter pj pants and the black shirt at him. "It might be a little loose, but they'll still fit. They came in handy while your two tykes were starting to be exactly that and making me a fat, over-inflated ballon and giving me stretch marks."
"I knew it had to be you who stole my clothes," he laughed affectionately as he changed. "Only you had access to them besides me. And stop calling them mine, they're ours. There's a difference," he added while following me into the kids' room. "One reflects two parents taking different approaches and blaming the other for the kids' creation, the other is the two blending their styles and being united and supportive, acknowledging it took both to do the baby-making tango."
"And if anyone knows, it's you, right?" I sighed as we headed to the kitchen where Vlad and Anna were finishing off cooking their breakfasts and coffees—decaf, and something they'd only started having in the last month or two, copying my response to my increased workload, though we ensured they weren't allowed near the caffeinated pods except to make my cup. "It's just hard to adjust to, that's all." I sat at the marble breakfast bar and supervised. "They've always been mine, with code black taking that away in the public domain. The first step of code black was a memory wipe. Anyone known or rumoured to be whispering blood whore comments about me were taken to the local compulsion expert and had their memory repressed, at the very least. It's been a massive undertaking, and very confusing for them." I nodded towards the twins.
One of his arms was wrapped around my waist, his chest pressed to my back, and his other hand pulled back my shirt's neck and kissed all over where my left shoulder, collar and neck met. He nipped at a sweet spot. I couldn't stop it, I threw my head back into his chest, if that was even possible.
"Ahh... Mommy?" Anna's voice brought Dimitri and me back to the present.
"Yes, sweetie?"
"Do you want milk and sugar this morning?"
"Give Daddy my straight black, I'll just have some OJ." My daughter scrunched her face in confusion, dropped the expression and then shrugged as she relaxed. "She's on another health kick," she laughed quietly in her brother's ear.
"I thought you hated anything healthy and anything coffee?" Dimitri laughed and set about massaging my shoulders.