"I see someone else is wide awake too." I said as I leaned over Thomas's crib. He was grabbing at his feet and smiling, bright eyed and bushy tailed. "That's fine though, you can just spend some time with your old man, right?" I groaned as I picked him up and out of the crib. "Jeez, you've gotten so big in only a week, Bub. You're going to be walking and talking before I know it. Just like your sister over there." I put Thomas on my hip and turned towards Breckyn's bed. Winnie was laying spread eagle in the middle of the bed, her blonde hair a crazy mess on her head, her mouth hanging open clutching onto the new teddy bear I had bought her while I was in Chicago. I chuckled as I walked to the end of the bed and settled down on the floor, leaning against the footboard. I put my knees up and set Thomas on my thighs so that he was sitting up right. He smiled up at me and I couldn't help but smile back. I took in all of his features. He had my crooked grin and his mom's nose. Thank goodness for that. He had my ears and my big head. I took my index finger and placed it in his tiny palm. He definitely had my wonky fingers. He was a Fallon through and through. There was no denying that but there was one very important feature that he got from his mother. I looked into his beautiful baby blue eyes and smiled. "Those blue eyes are going to get you AND me into a lot of trouble when you get older, you know that?" He squirmed around in my lap so I leaned down and kissed him on his nose. I couldn't help but wonder what he was going to be like when he was older. Would he be an athlete like Breckyn or will he be a performer, like me? He'll probably get his head stuck in a banister or fall down some stairs. Regardless of who he takes after, he's bound to not be the most graceful person. There's no doubt in my mind he'll have an extensive collection of casts by the time he's a teenager and I highly doubt this will be my first sleepless night when it comes to him. It's safe to say that I'll get what's coming to me if he's anything like me. "I wouldn't mind if you slowed down on the growing up part. Not one bit. It's okay if you want to stay little for a while cause to be honest, I'm not ready for you to grow up just yet but until then, let's see if we can get a laugh out of you, huh?"
I adjusted my posture so that the wooden footboard wasn't cutting into my bare back. I made sure my legs were close enough that he was sitting almost upright and I tickled him. He gave me a great big grin but no laugh. I tried several funny faces with the same result."Oh come on, Bubs. I know you laughed. I heard it myself the other night on the phone so there's no use hiding it but I can see that you're going to be a tough sell so it's time to pull out the big guns." I looked up at the ceiling for a moment before coming up with the perfect idea. I cleared my throat and covered my eye with my hand. " WHAT KIND OF A DAD AM I? I CANT EVEN MAKE MY OWN SON LAUGH! AND THAT'S NOT GOOD!" Thomas was stonefaced and I frowned a bit. "Okay, so Gilbert Godfrey didn't work real well. Let's try...:" I cleared my throat against and then raised my voice to a higher octave. "I laugh! Winnie laughs! We allllll laugh! What is this? People are laughing but you're not!" I looked down at him and he squirmed and grinned but not a peep. "Alright, Seinfeld isn't for everyone but I do know someone who is." I started to move my arms around and rolling my eyes, pursing my lips. "You know the little people who wear the diapers? With the crying? And the sleeping? And putting the bottle to your lips? You much rather have a Jello pudding pop." I stopped rolling my eyes and pursing my lips. I immediately went into a different one. I lowered my voice and started bouncing around. "Okay. Thank you. Yes. Thank you. Yes. Somewhere there's a kid going "Daddy! Look over there!" Thank you. Yes. There's a guy going "What the hell's going on there?" Man, he was not budging. I decided to go into my best impression. I lowered my eyes and let out an awkward laugh. "Uh. Hi. How are ya? Here we go. You know my mom always told me to uh.. Hi how you doing? She always told me that if you can make someone laugh you were doing something good. So.. uh.. so I say..Why don't you laugh for your father?!" After my best Adam impression, Thomas started grinning really wide and I felt a glimmer of hope that he would laugh but a smile was all I could coax out of him.
"Alright buddy, I just gave you my best stuff and I got nothing. Can you help me out here? I'm really trying and I really really want to hear you laugh. Come on, can you laugh for Daddy?" I tried tickling him again when I heard pots and pans clanging in the kitchen downstairs. I could hear Karen quietly cursing to herself as the commotion came to a stop. I looked over my shoulder out into the hall for a moment trying to decide if Karen needed my help but I didn't hear anything after that so I turned back to my son who was still grinning. "You know, if that were your other grandma the entire house would be awake right now and not just the two of us and Grandma Karen. Grandma Gloria would have had this whole house in chaos. "DON'T YOU GRAB ME! I CAN COOK THIS DINNAH BY MAHSELF!" I was looking over at the door to make sure Mom didn't hear that impression when I heard the most wonderful sound in the world. I looked over at my son who was laughing excitedly at me. I softly let out a half laugh, half cry and looked at my son, dumbfounded. "Really? Your grandma? I give you my best impressions and your grandmother is what does it for you?" He was still softly grinning when I decided to test the waters again. "I CAN GRAB THE PANS MAHSELF!" I lowered my voice and put on a thick accent. "Huh? WHAT? What? HUH? Pans? DINNAH! Huh?" Thomas threw his head forward and gave me his best high pitched laugh. He laughed so hard that he threw his head back and let out this beautiful throaty, gasping laugh. I let out another half laugh, half sob and had to let go of my sons hand for a moment when my vision blurred so I could wipe the tears away. I kept doing my best impression of his grandma for the next thirty minutes, relishing in the fact that I finally got my son to laugh. I sat back and soaked in the gorgeous sound of his laughter until he finally fell asleep against my chest at around 1 in the morning.
I finally eased myself off the floor at around 1:30 when my back started cramping up from the position I was sitting in. I managed to stand in an upright position and put Thomas in his crib without waking him. I covered him in his blanket and turned on his mobile before leaning in and kissing him on his forehead. He stirred slightly but quickly fell back into his slumber, snoring softly. I walked over to the bed and made sure Winnie was tucked in. I moved her messy hair off her face and tried to straighten it up a bit. She closed her mouth and started groaning softly, talking in her sleep a little bit. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I rubbed her cheek. She gets that from Nancy. I grabbed my pillows and placed them on either side of her so she wouldn't roll off the bed while I took a shower. I grabbed the remote off the end table and turned the tv on so the kids could have some light and some white noise to sleep to while I was gone. I turned it to QVC and stood there a moment, watching the girls describe a new blender that also chopped and processed whole foods. I had been standing there for about five minutes mesmerized by this product when I shook myself out of it. I uncrossed my arms and rubbed my face as I walked over to my bag and grabbed out solid black boxer briefs and white basketball shorts. I grabbed my shampoo and soap and headed into the bathroom. I closed the door, leaving it slightly ajar so I could hear if Winn or Thomas needed me while I was in here. I opened the shower door and turned the warm water on, letting it heat up as I shed my boxers and kicked them under the bathroom sink. I reached in and put my wrist under the stream until it was just the right temperature. I stepped in and put myself under the stream, running the hot water on my face, spitting out water as it began to fill my mouth.
I squeezed a decent amount of shampoo into my hair and began to lather as the wheels started turning in my head. My mind was going a mile a minute and I had been trying to quell it for the last few hours and aside from getting Thomas to laugh, nothing was helping. I couldn't help but wonder what Breckyn was doing, if she was sleeping or if she was perhaps doing the same thing I was doing right now. Odds are if she can't sleep, this is exactly what she's doing. Taking a shower to clear her head and think. I laughed slightly as I stepped forward and put my head under the water, rinsing the shampoo from my hair. I put my hand against the tile and put my weight on my arm, letting the other drop to my side as I let the water wash down my back, easing the tension in my muscles. I moved my neck from side to side trying to work the kink out of my neck from sleeping on a stiff hotel bed for the last week. For not sleeping well the last seven days and for being jetlagged, I sure wasn't getting any sleep tonight. I missed Breckyn too much to even begin to think about getting any sleep, being in her room and sleeping in her bed without her wasn't helping things. She was consuming my thoughts and there will be no relief until I saw her walking down that aisle. The only problem was I didn't know if I would last that long. Its funny to think that just two years ago my life was so different. I had no idea who Breckyn was. I didn't have a son and I was going through a divorce that no one had any idea about. Now, look at my life. Look at how far Breckyn and I have come since that first night. I still remember the first time I saw her. The first time I came here. The first time that I kissed her, the first time we were together. Actually, come to think about it.. the first time we were together was....
I slowly lifted my head and suddenly I was taken back. I was no longer in the shower alone. I closed my eyes and I saw Breckyn standing in front of me against the wall with the water cascading down her beautiful body. I put my fingers to my lips and I could almost feel her lips crashing into mine over and over again, her hands running down my chest. I saw myself pick her up as she wrapped her legs around me. I shivered at the memory of her warm lips against my collarbone as she left little bites along the ridge just below my neck trailing down my stomach and towards my groin. I raised my head towards the ceiling and couldn't stop the low moan from leaving my lips. I was suddenly thrown out of the memory when I heard a knock coming from just beyond the bathroom door. I cleared my throat and threw my head back under the stream making sure to have gotten all of the shampoo out of my hair. I knew it had to be my mother. She's already made ten unwarranted visits tonight and I was sure this is the eleventh. "Come in, Ma!" I called out as I shook the water out of my hair before stepping out of the shower. Another knocked echoed through the room. "I said Come In!" I leaned towards the door so she would hear me while I walked to the linen closet for a towel, being careful as to not fall on the tiled floor. Yet again, a rapping sound floated through the room. "Oh, come on!" I growled as I quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist as I opened the door and walked to the bedroom door and opened it. No one was standing in front of the door so I looked out into the hallway. I was confused until I heard the knocking coming from behind me. I turned and felt my eyes bug out of my head as I saw Breckyn smiling and waving, knelt on the roof in front of her bedroom window.
"Breckyn Nicholle?! What the hell are you doing?!" I half whispered half yelled at her as I opened the window and leaned against the windowsill. I looked around and couldn't see a ladder in sight. "How the hell did you get up here? You could've hurt yourself!" I felt the veins sticking out of my neck and I felt like my eyes might pop out of my head for how wide I had them open right now. Breckyn followed my gaze and then scooted forward on the roof. "I'm sorry, honey. I just had to see you one more time so I snuck out while Drew was showering. Your sister is passed out so I took advantage and took Drew's car. I climbed the trellis. Why was the window locked anyways? This window hasn't been locked for like twenty years!" I let my head fall forward as I quietly laughed. "Well, you don't live here anymore, babe. So they probably felt like they could lock it since their daughter wasn't sneaking out anymore. Or at least she wasn't supposed to be." This time Breckyn smirked at me and I felt my heart skip a beat or two. I couldn't help but feel the worry and shock fade away. "Well they didn't think about the possibility of me doing it when I came home now did they?" She groaned as she put her hands on the windowsill. "Now, are you going to let me in or you gonna make me stay out here all night?" I gave her a once over and bit my lip playfully. "I kinda like you when you're vulnerable. Its adorable. I might let you sit out here a little longer."
"I'll remember that tomorrow when you're standing at the end of the aisle. Maybe I'll wait a little longer than I'm supposed to to start walking huh?" I stepped back from the window and held my hand out to help her in the bedroom. "Please don't." I said simply as she ducked her head and stepped in. She looked behind me and I saw the sparkle ignite in her eyes as she gently smiled and let out a content sigh. I looked over my shoulder and did the same exact thing as I watched Winnie sleeping peacefully, still hanging on to her teddy bear. She had changed out her pillow for one of mine which I was perfectly fine with. I could sleep with one less pillow, if I sleep that is. Suddenly I felt something ice cold on my chest. "Ahh what the..." I looked down on my chest and saw Breckyn's hands resting on my pecs. "Your hands are freezing cold, sweetheart." I quickly scooped her hands up into mine and rubbed them between mine. I brought her hands to my lips and blew on them as I tried to warm them up. She watched me for a moment before bringing her eyes up to meet mine, smiling softly. "Thank you. I think I have feeling in them again." I nodded as I put them back on my chest, rubbing the back of her hands with my thumbs. "Anytime, luv. That's what husbands are for." There was that sparkle returning in her eye when I said 'husband'. She softly smiled and looked down at her hand. "That reminds me. Besides wanting to see you one last time, I came here for an actual reason. To give you this." She looked down and played with her ring for a second before slowly sliding it off her finger. She played with it for a moment between her fingers before reluctantly handing it to me. I took it in my palm and looked up at her, confused. "Can't get married without that, right?" She added before I looked at it in my palm. "No, we can't but you didn't have to take this off, you know that right?" Now she looked confused. "What do you mean? Its my wedding ring. You kind of need that to be married."
I laughed as I backed away and walked over to the end table and opened the drawer quietly as to not disturb the kids. I pulled out the ring box and walked back up to her and opened it, revealing her wedding band. "It is your wedding ring but this is the ring I put on your finger. You can wear your engagement ring, babe. I just put this on in front of it." Breckyn scoffed and sighed. "Well, how was I supposed to know that? Not all of us have had the luxury of doing this before, you know. This is my first marriage." I raised my eyebrows at her and snapped the ring box shut, putting it down on the bed beside me. "Ooooh that's funny. That's real funny. You're going to pay for that." I said as I bent down and scooped her up behind her knees, throwing her over my shoulder so her legs were sticking out in front of me and her torso was down my back. She screamed as I picked her up. "Shush. The kids." I whispered as she kicked and smacked on my back repeatedly. I was unrelenting as I tickled her sides, making her squeal and laugh. Suddenly I heard the door open. "Winnie?! James?! Are you okay?!" I stopped tickling Breckyn and closed my eyes when I heard my mother's voice, instinctively cowering as I waited for yelling. I heard Breckyn slowly stop laughing and felt her push off my back to look up. I slowly turned around and faced my mother, who had her arms crossed over her body, an eyebrow raised, and slowly tapping her foot on the floor. "Whoops. Buuuuuusted." I said solemly as Breckyn pat my back. "Put me down, J." She whispered. I set her down on the floor and she turned around and smoothed out her clothes. Just then her phone rang. She grabbed it out of her pocket and I could see it was Drew. "Double busted." She whispered.
"What's up, Mom?" I try to play it off like this was completely normal, which in all actuality, this is exactly what we would be doing if we were allowed to stay together, but I could see my mom was not too thrilled. She sighed and gave a polite smile to me and then a genuine smile to Breckyn. I was going to pay for this later, I'm sure. Thankfully the kids were fast asleep and she couldn't yell at me. "I don't know what's happening but I'm positive its your fault, James." She turned to Breckyn and waved. "Hello, dear. You're up awfully late for having to get up early tomorrow. " I scoffed and pointed to Breckyn. "She came to ME!" Breckyn put her hand on my back and pinched my love handle. I flinched from the pain and smiled to hide the pain. She was not happy I just threw her under the bus like that. "I was just leaving actually. I just forgot to give Jimmy something." Mom nodded and grinned before turning to walk out of the bedroom. "Okay, well I'm going to pretend I didn't see anything and I'll see you tomorrow, honey. I'll let you two say goodnight but make it quick. You're already breaking tradition. Be safe going home, sweetie." With that she walked down the hallway and out of sight. I let out a sigh of relief and slumped in my posture. Breckyn smacked me across the chest. "That's for throwing me under the bus. Also, what does she mean by breaking tradition? Is there a Fallon thing that I'm missing?"
"No, I think she means wedding tradition. We aren't supposed to see each other before the wedding. It's two in the morning. So, technically we're breaking that rule." Breckyn waved her hand out. "Oh, rules schmules. It's not like I'm in my dress." I grabbed her hands and rubbed them between mine. "So, what did you have to give me, luv? Just the ring?" She nodded. "Yep, and this." She leaned forward and captured my lips in hers quickly. She pulled away and I was still leaning forward for more. She laughed softly and grazed my lips with her thumb. "You know, the next time we kiss, we'll be husband and wife." I closed my eyes and sighed. "I know. I cant wait. You should go though. Drew's already called three times and she's going to have your head on a stick if she finds out you were here." Breckyn nodded and walked forward to the bed, leaning down to tuck Winnie back in. "Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite." She whispered in her ear before kissing her on the forehead. "If they do, hit em with a shoe." She finished as she did the same to Thomas. She grabbed my hand and squeezed as she walked towards the window, I pointed to my watch on my arm. "I'm going, I'm going." She lamented. She climbed out of the window and then looked back at me. "I'll see you in a few hours." I nodded and leaned out the window, instantly wishing I was in more than a towel. It was freezing cold. "I'll be the mush trying to hold it together under the arch." She nodded in agreement. "I'll bring the Kleenex." She smiled softly before beginning to climb down the trellis. "I love you, Jimmy Fallon." I winked in return and blew her a kiss. "And I love you, Breckyn Jones."
****
I was sitting cross legged on the master bathroom floor in Jimmy's red, gray, and black plaid shirt and a pair of my boy shorts. I had just gotten out of the shower and dried my hair as I settled down in front of a full length mirror. I leaned forward and grabbed my make up bag, reaching in and grabbing some foundation and beginning the process of getting ready. I let out a puff of air as I looked at the bags under my eyes in the mirror. "We have a lot of work to do." I said softly to myself before putting the liquid on my forehead, cheekbones, nose and chin. I saw the shower door open behind me as Drew's hand slipped out and grabbed a towel, pulling it in to wrap around her. She stepped out and looked at me. "Yeah, well, if you had been sleeping like you were supposed to be instead of sneaking out and gallivanting with Jimmy, you wouldn't have bags under your eyes." I ignored her comment as I began to blend the foundation on my face. The cream was doing a good enough job for getting absolutely no sleep. After Drew's lecture, I just laid in our bed and stared at the ceiling, wondering how on earth I got to this place in my life. Here I was, sitting in a house that Jimmy and I owned, getting ready for our wedding. I almost felt the need to pinch myself to see if all of this was a dream. Suddenly I heard techno blaring from the sound system and I about ruined Jimmy's shirt when I jumped with the foundation in my hand. I recognized it instantly and rolled my eyes, leaning back to look out the bathroom door at Drew who was dancing around in her underwear.
Yo listen up, heres a story about a little guy that lives in a blue world
And all day and all night, and everything he sees is just blue like him
Inside and outside
Blue his house with a blue little window
And a blue corvette
And everything is blue for him and his self and everybody around
Cause he aint got nobody to listen..
I raised my eyebrow at her as she walked in, pulling on a button up shirt to get ready in. She gave me a look. "What?" She asked innocently, as if she had no idea. "Eiffel 65?" I said, fully judging her song selection. She smiled as she took her hair out of her towel and ran the towel through it to help it dry. "I thought it could be your 'something blue'. Why did you have something else in mind?" I scoffed and grabbed my blush out of my bag and smiled to accentuate my cheekbones. "Yes. My dress has our wedding date stitched on the hem in blue." I pointed to my wedding dress hanging from the custom made hanger. The actual hanger was wooden but where the normal straight wire would be, it was specially made to spell out "Fallon". My dress was hanging from the closet door and would stay there until changing into it at the venue in the bridal room. "Fine. I'll change it, but you used to love this song, I'll have you remember." I rolled my eyes as she walked out and leaned forward to finish the blush. "Yeah! When I was 12!" The house went quiet as she turn the music off for a moment. "You still sneak around like you're 12, what's the difference? I figured you were reliving our youth Ms. I-sneak-out-of-my-own-house-to-sneak-into-my-parent's-house. Excuuuuse me."
Where's all my soul sisters
Let me hear your flow, sisters
Hey sister go sister soul sister flow sister
Hey sister go sister soul sister flow sister
He met Marmalade down in Old Moulin Rouge
Strutting her stuff on the street
She said "Hello. Hey Joe. You wanna give it a go?"
I was beginning on my eye shadow, applying a subtle light purple to my eyelids. I put another thin coat on the brush and shook my head as she walked back in to bathroom and took her place next to me, pulling from my make up bag to do her own makeup. "I'm not sure we should be listening to a song about a threesome while we're getting ready for my wedding but okay."
"Oh, marriage is about compromise and men are disgusting creatures. Especially my brother. You'll learn soon enough. But for the love of everything that is holy, does the music have to be so damn loud?!" Gloria shuffled her way to the bathroom door and leaned her arm against the door jam, resting her head on her forearm. Drew laughed as she looked up from the mirror to my soon to be sister in law. "Well, good morning to you, too Sunshine! I see that the last bottle of Merlot you were snuggled up with last night treated you well." Gloria groaned as she walked into the bathroom and pulled the toilet seat up and went to the bathroom. "Oh god, who let me drink Merlot? I must have been blitzed. I hate merlot." I chuckled as I blended the light purple eyeshadow with a little gold. "I take it you will not be partaking in the open bar tonight?" Gloria flushed and stood up, scoffing slightly. "Why wouldn't I? I'm hungover. I'm not dead."
I nodded as I took my finger and fixed a smudge of eyeshadow. "Of course. What was I thinking?" I leaned forward and grabbed for my champagne glass and took a sip of my mimosa. "I don't know what you were thinking, Brecks but if I ever hear that nonsense from you again, I'll have to seriously reconsider accepting you as my sister. Is that a mimosa?" She added without skipping a beat. Drew shot me a look and then looked up at Gloria. "I thought you just said that you were hungover." Gloria waved her hands in front of her face. "You don't understand how us Fallons work, do you? Again, I'm hungover. Not dead. Now where are these lovely ingredients so I can make my own?" I grinned at Drew and then pointed out the door. "On the island in the kitchen. Knock yourself out." Gloria nodded and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. "Mimosa. Then shower because I look like a HOT mess right now." I laughed as she made her way out to the kitchen. Drew watched her walk out and then gave me a side glance. "You're absolutely sure that you want to marry into that family?" I nodded adamantly while I reached for my mascara. "I'm absolutely positive. Without a doubt in my mind."
Drew tossed a separate tube of mascara into my makeup bag and stood up clapping her hands, walking out of the room on a mission. "Speaking of getting married, we have just a few more things to finish up before we head to the venue. We never finished this love story sign." She said as she came back in holding the sign we made out of old barn wood. We had painted it black and the words 'Our Love Story' were painted in light purple with grey accents. "I need the dates to all these events, Brecks." I nodded as I pulled down my eyelid and put my eyeliner on. "Okay, well let's do it now while I'm getting ready." Drew grabbed a grey paint pen and leaned the sign against the bathroom door and took the pen off with her mouth, putting the wood between her legs. "Okay, well the first event is called 'She Fell For Him'. I smiled to myself as I moved to the other eye. "March 17th, 2014." I said simply. "Oh wow. St. Patrick's Day? I never realized that." Drew scrawled the date on in elegant handwriting as I giggled softly, putting the pencil back and zipping up the make up bag. "Luck of the Irish, huh?" I knelt in front of the mirror and made a few adjustments, fixing a few smudges here and there before finally being satisfied with the finished product. I stood up and opened the drawer on my side of the vanity, grabbing my curling iron, bobby pins, hair spray and other various hair products we would need to do our hair once we get to the bridal room. "Okay. 'He Fell For Her'" I opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed my deodorant, putting some on before tossing it into my make up bag for later. "The next morning. March 18th."
"Wow, you work fast." Drew retorted putting the date on the board. I saw Jimmy's hair products in the cabinet and thought for a moment before tossing them in my bag as well. He may need them later on. "The 'fell for him/ fell for her' is a play on words. We actually fell. I fell down the stairs. He fell in the hotel room. That's..." I smiled softly and looked down at the floor for a moment, closing my eyes, reliving the moment he fell in the hotel room all over again. After a moment of two I looked up and grabbed Jimmy's deodorant from the cabinet. "That's when I saw him naked for the first time." Drew stopped writing and looked up at me, eyebrows raised. She put her hands on her hips and smirked. "Reallllly? Do tell." I lightly kicked her and huffed. "Oh, please, you already know all about that. Continue." Drew turned back to the sign. "First kiss." I tilted my head in thought. "Well, that depends on what you count as the first kiss because technically I kissed him first." I thought back to that first kiss in the hotel bathroom. It was hard. Rushed, but I'm certainly glad I did it. Then I thought to the kiss in the airport. I touched my lips with my fingertips as I felt them tingle from the memory. Wait a second. "Well... actually. It doesn't matter. He kissed me at the airport that same night. March 18th. Same day." Drew finished the date and shot me a sassy look. I returned the favor. "Shut up." I said sarcastically. "Next." I added as I checked and double checked my bag to make sure I had everything that me and the girls, or Jimmy for that matter, could possibly need. "This one just says 'Baby' with a question mark." I looked out the room and next to our bed at the crib that sat along the wall. I sighed happily. "Thomas. The day we found out I was pregnant when I was recovering in the hospital. September 17th, 2014." I walked out of the room and grabbed Thomas's diaper bag and began to fill it with a few bottles, diapers, wipes, and extra clothing. We had a long day ahead of us and we needed to be prepared for anything our little boy might throw our way. "I love you." I leaned in and let out a happy noise. "Aww. I love you too, Drew." She rolled her eyes and pointed to the sign. "No, you idiot. 'I love you' as in the first time you guys said it to each other." I walked across the hall to Winnie's room and grabbed some things for her as well. "Oh. Same day as Thomas."
"Wait. You found out you were pregnant before you ever said I love you to each other. That doesn't seem right." I walked back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, going over my mental checklist in my head. Making sure I had everything. Dress? Check. Shoes? I looked over to the closet and saw them on the shelf. Check. "No it's right. He told me I was pregnant then he said he loved me. I said it back." I stood up and grabbed the shoes and put them on the bed next to the bags I had packed. "Oooooookay. That's a little unconventional." Gloria came in at that time and pointed at the shower. I nodded and motioned for her to go in. "Trust me, my brother is anything but conventional. I'm not one bit surprised that's how that went down." Gloria said as she opened the shower and turned on the water before stripping down and getting in. Drew nodded. "Touche. Thomas Andrew Fallon. Well, that's easy. June 17th." I shook my head and heard my response in stereo as Gloria and I corrected her at the same time. "June 14th." I laughed as Drew looked from the shower to me. "Father's Day. I went into labor on the 13th and had him at 12:37 on the 14th." I added simply without hesitating. "I don't get this one. 'That's Such A Stupid Question'? Whats that mean?" I grabbed Jimmy's wedding band out of the safe in the walk in closet. I opened it to make sure it was still there. I found myself staring at the black silver band for a moment before I let out a half laugh, half happy sob. "The night he proposed. That's how I answered him." I said softly, almost too soft actually. I cleared my throat and fought back the tears. "June 18th."
"That brings us to 'Mr. and Mrs. Fallon' October 17th, 2015. There. All done." I walked back in the room with the ring box and put it in my bag in its own pocket for safe keeping. "I do have one question though." Drew asked as she put the cap back on the paint pen and took the sign out to the living room to dry. "What's that?" I asked as I followed her out with my bags, looking around at the signs, few centerpieces that we had to fix, and other assorted items we didn't get done last night, making sure everything was in order. Drew looked over them as well, doing a mental checklist of her own, counting with her fingers for a moment before turning to me. "How the hell do you remember all that? I cant remember what I had for breakfast." I put my arm around her shoulder and grinned. "When it comes to Jimmy and I..." I paused as I caught our engagement picture out of the corner of my eye. It was Him and I in our Yankees jerseys with the kids. We had our backs to the camera so our numbers and the last name Fallon was displayed. Jimmy and I were holding hands, looking our right as Winnie was playing with Thomas on a purple blanket. The smiles on our faces said more than a thousand words ever could. I looked back at Drew and continued my thought. "I remember everything. Vividly. You wouldn't know it but I relived every single moment back there. Feeling exactly what I felt back then. It's just.." I tried to find the right words but my brain was so frazzled from wedding stuff that it was failing me at the moment. "..easy with him." Drew shook her head and squeezed my arm. "If you two were any more in love, I'd vomit. It's too much. You guys are too much." I pushed her away playfully and laughed. "Also, you had McDonalds and two mimosas for breakfast, you lush." Just then I saw Jimmy's truck pull up in the drive. I could see him in the drivers seat, straining to try to see out the passenger window into the house as his mother stepped out of the passengers side with Winnie in her arms, rubbing her eyes. It looked like she had been crying. She must not have wanted to leave Jimmy this morning. I pouted my lip in sympathy as I had Drew go up to the door so Jimmy wouldn't see me. I understood her pain, I thought to myself as I also strained to try and get a better glimpse of him as he waited in the truck.
****
I had just stepped out of the shower and put a towel around my waist when there was a knock on my door. "Yeah?" I called out the bathroom door as I put shaving cream on my face. "Are you decent?" I heard Higgins call from the other side of the door. "Decent enough. Its nothing you haven't seen." I pushed the door open and smiled at the sight of Higgins holding Thomas in his arms. Thomas gave a big yawn and leaned his head against Higgins' chest. "I was giving him his bottle while Ellen, Gloria, and Karen were cooking the dinner for tonight. He fell asleep on my chest for a while. Its been quite some time since I've held a little one his size. I kind of miss it but I think I'll leave the babies to you and Breckyn. I'll live vicariously through you and be cool Uncle Steve. He woke up a few minutes ago and I think he wants his dad." I wiped my hands on the towel around my waist and reached for my son. Higgins leaned forward as Thomas reached for my shoulder and I put him in my arm, letting his little legs hug my right side. Thomas stared at my face for a moment before reaching up and slapping my cheek, sending shaving cream spraying everywhere. He giggled as it landed on his face. He brought his hands together in front of his face, playing with the shaving cream on his fingers before trying to stick them in his mouth. "No, no, no Bubs. Let's not stick that in your mouth. It's yucky. Blech! Ew!" I scrunched my nose up and plugged my nose with my free hand. "I think that's the first time I've heard you say Ew normally in a long time. Kind of weird." I chuckled as I pointed to the hand towel hanging from the towel rack. "Hand me that towel, will you? I gotta get this off his face. Thomas isn't too fond of the Sara voice. Makes him cry. Winnie loves it but not the little man. I found out last night that he loves my impression of my mother though. He had a giggle fit."
"Speaking of your mother, you guys headed out awfully early this morning. Did I hear Winnie crying this morning?" I sighed as I set Thomas on the counter and ran the towel under water before wiping his face off. "Yes. She did NOT want to leave my side this morning. I think my going to Chicago and her being away from Nancy at the same time took a toll on her. She refused to sleep anywhere but with me last night. Which I was fine with, but she wasn't having it this morning when Mom told her that she'd have to go to Breckyn without me. She loves Breckyn, she just didn't like that I couldn't go with her. So I had to go with. I stayed in the truck the entire time so I wouldn't see Breckyn, not that I didn't try to see her through the window but I couldn't. I just hope she's being good for Brecks. That's the last thing she needs is a pissy toddler while she's getting ready for the wedding."
Thomas was playing with the hand towel as I picked up the shaving cream and reapplied to cover the spots that my son had so graciously wiped off for me. I replaced the can and reached for my razor when I realized I didn't have one here. I slowly brought my hand down and thought for a moment. I didn't have a razor on me either because my hair and makeup girls brought an electric one for me and it was back in New York by now. "Damn it." I said under my breath as Higgins looked at me with confusion on his face. He went to respond when I saw my mother walk into the doorway. She held out a bag for me and I took it, with my eyebrows raised. She smiled at me and then tickled Thomas on his belly while he let out a little giggle. "Breckyn packed a few things for you. She said she figured you might need them." She pointed to my face and laughed softly. "There's a razor in there. Looks like she knows you pretty well." I reached into my bag and grabbed my razor out and filled the sink with water to rinse with. "Yeah, she does know me. Better than I know myself, I think." Mom nodded in agreement as she leaned against the counter, holding Thomas on her hip. "That she does, son. You picked a good one. I know I've said it before and I'll say it a million times. She's the right one for you. I knew it the first time I met her." I finished my first swipe and washed the razor off in the sink. "You knew?" I asked as I puffed out my cheek and made my next swipe. Mom watched me make as I shaved when a familiar voice came into the room. "A mother always knows." I looked up and smiled at Karen as she watched from the bedroom. "Sorry, I was just looking for Gloria. The main course is done, I just need to know the seasonings." Mom nodded and put Thomas back where I had him. "Just like I know you better start getting ready. We don't need a replay of yesterday, do we?" I shook my head and began to shave faster. "I'm trying. I'm trying." I said softly. Mom reached up to my temple and grinned. "You have some shaving cream here." She rubbed at a spot in my hair for a moment before slowly pulling back. "I guess not. Just a few gray hairs."
I dropped my razor in the water and turned my head to the side. "Gray hairs?! I am not going gray?!" Mom scoffed as she shook her head and Karen smiled at me gently. "You are but it looks good on you, James. It's not too much either. Just enough to look distinguished. You're going to age elegantly just like your father." I stared at the patch of gray in my temple and noticed a few streaks on the side of my head and in my bangs. I turned my head to the other side. Same thing. "I cant believe I'm going gray." I heard both moms laugh this time. "Well, you're 42, honey. It's bound to happen. Breckyn's dad was completely gray by the time he was 40." My mother nodded at me and pointed. "Your father started getting grays right about this time too." I looked in the mirror and ran my hand through my hair. I nodded slowly, accepting my fate. "Well, I guess that's a good sign if I'm aging like dad. Just as long as I'm half the man he is. If I'm half the father and husband he's been. I'll consider myself lucky." I could tell by the look on my mother's face that she was touched by this sentiment. "Honey, you've already exceeded any and all expectations we ever had for you a million times over. We couldn't be more proud of the father and son that you are. We couldn't be happier about the man you've grown to be. You take after your father in so many ways but you are also youre own man. Trust me when I say that you don't need to worry about reaching the potential of your father. You already have and much, much more. We love you so much, honey and we're so proud of you. I cant say it enough." She took the towel from the towel rack and wiped my face off. "Still my baby faced boy after all these years. Still my baby." I groaned as she brought the towel down. "Mooooom." I said slightly embarrassed.
"I don't care how old you are. You're my baby and I will call you that." I rolled my eyes as Karen stepped forward. I gave her my best smile as she leaned up and squeezed my shoulder. "You're going to look great up there. Can't wait until I can officially call you my son. John and I love you. If you need anything, feel free to holler." I nodded as she and my mother walked out of the room and downstairs. I listened to their laughter fill the house within moments and basked in the moment before I felt little hands grasping at mine. I smiled down at Thomas and gave my face one last look over before picking him up. "I blame you and your sister for these gray hairs, you know." As if to answer me Thomas looked up at me and stared for a moment before laughing. "Oh sure, you think it's funny now. You wont be thinking its too funny when you're my age and your son is laughing at your gray hair. He gave me one good gaspy laugh and I couldn't help but smile as I kissed his forehead. "Or maybe you will. You're a pretty happy dude." I looked up at Higgins who had my black slacks and a white t shirt in his hands. I nodded and resituated Thomas so he was cradled in my left arm against my chest as I reached forward for my pants. "Yeah, we should probably get ready to go to the hall so we can finish getting dressed and put together there. Go start the truck, wake up my hung over brother in law, and put everything in the truck. I'll be down as soon as I get Thomas changed and myself semi dressed."
****
Jake, Higgins, Matt, Breckyn's father, my Father, Thomas and I were all piled into a makeshift Groom's room in the barn where the reception was being held. Really, it was just the loft above the dance floor but we were secluded to the small room in the corner so that Breckyn wouldn't be able to see me and I wouldn't be able to look for her. I had just slipped my black button up off the hanger and was shrugging it onto my shoulders while the rest of the guys were getting ready as well. I was having a tough time trying to get my buttons done when I looked down and noticed my hands trembling. I brought my hand up and saw my fingers shaking before I closed my fist and tried to quell my nerves. I waited a moment before reaching down and trying again but this time, the shakes were worse. I sighed and let my shirt fall open when I saw hands come into my sight and begin to button my shirt for me. "A little wedding day jitters? Don't worry, I understand." Breckyn's father smiled up at me as I looked up and shook my head. "I'm not scared of marrying Breckyn or anything. I'm not nervous. I don't know what is happening. I've never been more positive of wanting to do anything more in my life."
John laughed as he buttoned up my sternum and made it to my collar. "I know you are, son. I'm here to tell you that it doesn't matter how sure you are of getting married, but you're kidding yourself if you say you're not nervous. I was so nervous when Karen and I got married, I sweat through my first dress shirt and threw up twice before the ceremony." I was surprised when I let a laugh fall from my lips. "You threw up?" I asked as he smoothed out my shirt. I nodded in thanks and he returned the gesture. "I did. It wasn't pretty but I knew without a doubt that Breckyn's mother was the one for me. That didn't stop the nerves from taking over. It's okay to be nervous." I nodded in agreement as I fixed the collar on my shirt. I noticed Higgins smile as he walked by me before he began to fiddle with something in the corner of the room. My attention was diverted as John put his hands on my shoulders and smiled at me.
"I know that you love my daughter with a love that I always prayed that my daughter would find someday. I have no doubt in my mind that you are the one for Breckyn not only because of how you are when you are around her, or how you love and protect her but also for how happy you make her. I have never seen her smile or laugh so much in my life and I have never seen her happier. I'll admit that I never pictured someone like you for my daughter. Whenever I pictured this moment when she was a little girl, the man I saw her marrying honestly could never compare to you and I cant thank you enough for being a better man for my daughter than I had ever imagined." I was honestly taken aback and quite frankly, a little choked up by the mini speech that my soon to be father-in-law just gave me. I bit my lip and nodded, trying to keep the tears from welling in my eyes. He squeezed my shoulder and I shut my eyes tightly thinking to myself, don't cry. Don't cry. It took me a moment but I seemed to have the waterworks under control and I looked up to respond when a song started to broadcast throughout the room.
Just a small town girl
Living in a lonely world
She took the midnight train going anywhere
"Don't Stop Believin? Really, Higs?" I raised my eyebrow at him as he walked past me as if he didn't have a care in the world. He grabbed his charcoal vest and threw it on over his white button up. "What? I figured it was an appropriate song for you. She's a small town girl. You're a city boy and when you met her you were in a pretty lonely world like he was." I shook my head as Lloyd Bishop came in and began snapping pictures of us getting ready. "She.." I said matter of factly. "She was living in a lonely world. He was born and raised in South Detroit. That's how the song goes." Higgins paused as he fixed his collar and placed his vest underneath. "Oh yeah. That's right. So that part doesn't fit but the rest is appropriate for you two." I pointed at him as he was fastening his vest. "How is Journey ever appropriate for your wedding? Open Arms? Yes. Loving, Touching, Squeezing? Sure. For the reception. Faithfully is the..." I stopped talking and paused looking out the door. "Is Breckyn out there? Does anyone know that? Lloyd?" He took a picture of both my dad and John entertaining Thomas who was half dressed in his black dress pants but otherwise half naked. He put the camera down and nodded. "Yeah, I just took pictures of her dress hanging in the door of the barn. Its really beautiful." I sighed at the thought and contemplated trying to take a peek but decided against it. "I have no doubt about that but that ruins my idea. Higgins, can you go get Quest for me real fast since Brecks is out there? He should be downstairs double checking his equipment."
"I didn't think my song pick was that bad but sure." He looked hurt as he passed me. I lightly pushed his arm before starting to roll my sleeves up to my elbows. Lloyd starting taking a few pictures of me as Higgins pushed me back, knocking me askew slightly, making me laugh. "Just get Quest, Steve. You can leave the song on though. It's actually taking my mind off my nerves." I turned to Lloyd as Steve walked out of the room to run his errand. "Did you get that on camera?" I asked as I walked across the room towards my father, or I guess, fathers. He grinned slightly. "I did. I'm so used to getting you and Steve on camera together it just felt natural to capture that moment. Sometimes I miss being able to capture that on camera." I pat his back as I made my way past him. "I miss you being my photographer too, pal. Why do you think I asked you to capture my big day, huh? You're the professional here, so whatever you feel should be filmed or would make a good memory, have at it. You're the genius here." Thomas reached for me as I made my way to him. I opened my mouth and gasped. "Are you having fun with your grandpas?" As if to respond, Thomas babbled and then stuck his purple bowtie in his mouth. I giggled as I quickly took it out and put it on the chair next to us. "I will take that as a yes. How about we get this big boy ready for his big debut, huh? You're already halfway there with your snazzy suit pants on. Now you just need your shirt, vest and bowtie. Let's get you dressed to the nines." I tickled his belly as John took his tiny black shirt off his hanger and handed it to me. "Wanna help me get his shirt on him?" I looked up at my dad who happily complied. Dad sat on the chair in front of me and took Thomas into his hands. He helped Thomas stand up while I helped his arms through the sleeves. I could hear the camera shutter going off as I buttoned up the shirt for my son. I clasped his cuffs together. He was beginning to fidget as I slipped his vest on over his shirt and fastened it. He pulled on my hair as I bent over in front of him and put his little dress shoes on. I smiled as I felt him rub my cheek. I held my hands out and he practically fell into them.
I scooped him up and sat on the chair across from my father. I sat Thomas on my lap and flipped the collar of his shirt up all the way before pointing to the bowtie my father had next to his leg. "Can you hand me that, Pops?" Dad stared at me and Thomas for a moment before looking down to his side. He picked up the bowtie and handed it to me. "That little plaid bowtie is so cute." I took the silky dark purple, gray, and black plaid bowtie into my hands and smiled softly before putting it around Thomas's neck and measuring it out so it would tie perfectly. "Yeah, it matches mine almost perfectly. He's going to look like a little mini-me. Our outfits are the same except I have an actual tie and my sleeves are rolled up. Its too cold for him to have his rolled." Dad reached over and Thomas grabbed a hold of his finger and tried to pull it to his mouth. "He is a mini you, Jimmy. He looks just like you, except he has Breckyn's eyes and nose. In fact, watching you with him just now, it reminded me of how I would help you get ready for holidays and church when you were this little. It was like I was having déjà-vu seeing you with your son. It is, well, its everything a father could ever hope for his son. I'm proud of you, James. I hope you know how much I love you and how much you mean to me." I finished tying Thomas's bowtie and turned him around so I could straighten it. Thomas gave me a little grin and then leaned forward, falling against my chest and resting against me. I rubbed his back and smiled at my dad. "I know, Pops. I love you too. And mom. More than you know." He pat my knee and I took a few seconds to relish in the moment of the three generations sitting together, enjoying each others company. "Let me get a look at my boys, huh?" Dad leaned back in his chair and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Well, you two just clean up just about perfectly. Good looking brood, this Fallon clan is." I laughed as I put Thomas's collar down and handed him to Dad. "Do you mind holding this sharp dressed man while I finish getting ready?" I don't know why I bothered asking, because my dad already had Thomas in his arms and was walking across the room before I even had the request out.
I watched as Thomas entertained both of my fathers, and the rest of the men for a moment before Quest and Higgins walked into the room. I raised my hand to wave to Quest and stood up to meet him. I grabbed my tie on the way by and quickly tied a double Windsor before grabbing my vest and slipping it on, making quick work of the buttons this time. "You needed to see me, Jimmy?" I straightened my vest and nodded as Jake came up and put my boutonnière on my vest. "Thanks, bub. You cleaned up nicely, for someone who was on the verge of death by hangover this morning." Jake laughed and pointed to me. "You're not half bad yourself, for an old man." I scoffed and raised my eyebrow. "Watch it, I'll be your brother in just under an hour. Speaking of, as my brother, could you do me a favor and take those two gifts to your sister? I want her to open them before the wedding. There's a letter on top of it too. Make sure she gets it." I said quickly before motioning to Quest. "Yeah, I just have this idea if you could help me get it done tonight." Quest raised his eyebrow at me in suspicion and I couldn't help but chuckle. "Just trust me, it'll be good." I said as I took him to the corner of the room where we could talk in private.
***
"Is Jimmy here? Did anyone see him on their way in?" I asked as I finished my last curl and made sure it was set right. Drew walked by with a bottle of water and handed it to me. "Yes. I saw him just now when I went to get you this water. He's here. He's dressed and I must say, he's looking mighty fine. I mean, for Jimmy, anyways." I squeezed her hand before putting the bottle just above my lips so I wouldn't smudge my lipstick and taking a drink. "Thank you. I just didn't want to relive a moment like yesterday. I didn't want to be left at the altar, you know." His sister was finishing her hair as well and gave me a look in the mirror. "HA! Trust me, if he did that, you would have to beat Mom, Dad, and I to him but I'm afraid by the time you reached him, he would be a dead man." His mother came up behind me and gave me a hug from behind. "Trust me, he knew good and well to be here on time today. Your mother and I made sure of that, didn't we Karen?" Mom had just walked in with Thomas in her arms. He was dressed in all black. A black shirt, black vest, and black slacks. He had a plaid deep purple bowtie on and his hair was slicked back. He looked like a classy little man. I put my hand to my mouth and laughed in happiness, tears filling my eyes. "We sure did, honey. I know its bad luck to see the groom before the wedding but there's no rule about seeing your son so I figured I'd let you see how handsome he looks." I couldn't stop looking at him, he was so gorgeous dressed like this. I reached up for him and took him from my mother. I stood him on my legs and held him up, taking it all in. "Gosh, he looks so much like Jimmy, especially dressed like this. He's so handsome. You look so good Thomas Andrew!! So spiffy!" I leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek, making him giggle a little bit. "How did I get so lucky to be your mommy, huh? You're such a good little guy and you're the spitting image of your father, except for those pretty blues." I felt a little hand on my knee and I looked over at Winnie who was already dressed in her flower's girl gown. She was playing with her purple sash that was around her waist. She reached up and kissed Thomas's hand and then gave him a hug. "You're just like your Daddy too, Winn. You're a lover and you look so pretty in your dress. You're going to be the prettiest girl here, I'm afraid but that's okay, I don't mind sharing the spotlight if its with a gorgeous princess like you." I kissed the tip of her nose and she walked off giggling.
"Speaking of dresses, it's time for you to get into yours." I looked up into the mirror and saw Drew beaming behind me as she held my dress up behind me. I gulped and suddenly my mouth was very dry. I took two big swigs of water and then nodded. I handed Thomas to his Aunt Gloria and stood up. I slipped Jimmy's plaid shirt off, taking my time to unbutton it and then I slipped my jeans off. My mother took the dress off the "Fallon" hanger. "This is such a cute idea, the new last name on the hanger." She said softly as she undid the corset and bunched up the lace in her hands. She smiled at me brightly. "You ready, Sis?" Mom always called me Sis when she knew I was nervous. I let out a slow breath and then nodded. "Yep. Let's do the damn thing." I heard laughter as I raised my arms and began to disappear in the lace that enveloped me. "Breckyn Nicholle Jones, language." I chuckled as my head popped out of the material and I met my mother's teary gaze. "Mom... why are you crying?" I said as I reached up and wiped the tears from her cheek. She gave a little grin as the girls situated the material around my legs and feet. She pursed her lips and shook her head. "Its nothing. I just realized that that's the last time I get to call you by your full name. From now on, you'll be Breckyn Nicholle Fallon." I held on to the bodice as Drew began to tie the corset tightly. "Yeah, I guess so. I don't know if I'll ever get used to that. Breckyn Fallon. That's weird." Mom giggled as Jimmy's mother stepped forward with a box of Kleenex. Mom grabbed one. "Thank you, Gloria. Look at me, I'm a mess." She wiped the mascara from under her eyes and Jimmy's sister handed her a tube of mine. "Here, looks like the right shade, plus its waterproof and makes your eyes pop. You can reapply if you like." Mom nodded and took the tube from her before walking over to the mirror while the girls finished putting me in my dress.
"Trust me, you'll get used to your new last name by the end of tonight, dear. Everyone is going to be calling you Mrs. Fallon and if I know Jimmy, he will be too." His mother grabbed a tissue and wiped a tear from my face that I hadn't even realized had fallen. I heard the shutter of a camera going off repeatedly from behind me. I wasn't even aware that Lloyd had made it back in. "In fact, I know he will. He was like a giddy little boy yesterday when the pastor said it during rehearsals. He can't wait until you have his last name. Our last name. And neither can Jim or I. We're so happy that we are gaining you as a daughter. We love you." I looked down and smiled to myself before looking back up. "I cant wait either. I'm so proud to become a part of this family. I'm not worthy of it but I'm definitely ecstatic that I get to be. I love you guys too." I felt the lace fall perfectly in the back and Drew fixed my train. "There you go, Brecks. Perfect." I took my hands off the bodice and turned around. I was met with the shutter sounds and gasps as I made my turn. "Oh, Breckyn. You look...." My mom started before her lip quivered. I smiled shyly and looked around the room. Drew had a huge smile on her face, Jimmy's sister had her mouth covered with her hand, Jimmy's mom was crying now too. "Pretty." I heard a tiny voice say. I looked down and Winnie was walking around in my high heels for the wedding. "Pretty girl." Winnie said as she grabbed my hand to steady herself in the heels. "What she said." Drew laughed and that seemed to lighten the mood, the rest of the girls starting giggling along with Winnie. I smiled and lifted Winnie up and out of my shoes, setting her back on the ground. "Well, thank you Winnie, but I still think you're the prettiest girl in the room." I leaned down and staged whispered. "Besides your grandmas of course." She nodded and I stroked her cheek lightly. "Would you like to help me put on my shoes?" She quickly agreed and grabbed my shoes. She stood in front of me and held out the right shoe. I picked up my gown and slipped my foot in, lifting it behind me to get the strap on right. Winnie picked up the left one and I did the same thing. "Thank you, gorgeous!" She pursed her lips so I leaned down and kissed them. I rubbed off my lipstick and gave her a little tickle on her belly before she ran off to Gloria to put on her own shoes.
"You look breathtaking, honey." Mom said as she came up to me with something in her hand. She opened a long black velvet box revealing a gorgeous set of pearls. I gasped as I leaned forward to look at it. "This is your grandmother's pearl bracelet. She gave it to me for my wedding and now I'm giving it to you for yours. I figured this could be your something old." I let out a gasp of astonishment as I reached for it. "Gosh, its gorgeous, Mom." I wrapped it around my left wrist and struggled with clasp because my hands were shaking. Mom let out a chuckle and helped me get it on. "It's not nearly as gorgeous as you are, Breckyn. You're going to blow everyone away and you're going bring Jimmy to his knees." I took in a deep breath and let it out, making my curls float above my head for a moment. I looked up and smiled. "Oh, I don't know about that but thank you Mom." She put my hair back in place and let her hand rest on my cheek. "Well, I know it. You're a knockout."
"I have something for you too, dear. If that's okay." Jimmy's mom said as she approached Mom and I. "Of course, Mom but you didn't have to do that." Gloria smiled politely and rubbed my back ."You're my new daughter. Of course I did." She handed me a thin blue box and I looked at it in confusion. Another bracelet? I opened it and stared down at it for a moment. "It's not much but it was Jimmy's when he was growing up. I also thought it could be your something old but just consider it your something borrowed, even though I'm going to let you keep it. You might give it to Thomas some day. I lightly brushed over the silver rosary with my fingers before taking the crucifix in my hand. "It's gorgeous. This was Jimmy's?" Gloria nodded and looked down at the cross in my palm. "Yeah, they gave it to him after his first communion. He's had the same one all of his life. I know that you aren't able to have a traditional Catholic wedding but I figured we could add a little piece. For Jimmy." I smiled as I took it out of the box. "Drew, do you still have those pins from earlier?" Drew looked at me for a second before walking over to the counter. "I have a few. Why?" I motioned for her to come towards me. "I want to put this on my bouquet. Grab it and we can put it on the wrap around the stems." Drew grabbed my purple calla lily bouquet. Gloria grabbed the rosary and set it in the bouquet and wrapped it around so the crucifix was hanging along the stem. We made quick work attaching it and getting it perfect. "Jimmy is going to love this. It looks gorgeous against the purple." His mom whispered to me before someone knocked on our door and Drew hollered towards it. "Who is it?!" There was a pause and a sigh. "It's Jake. Let me in." I took the pin out of her hand when I felt a hand brush my back. "You should listen to your mom, you know. You look stunning. My brother is going to eat his heart out today." Gloria walked past me, smiling as she opened the door and Jake slipped in. "Well, damn. You clean up nicely, too. Looking sharp, Jake." He looked down at Gloria and smiled. "Well then it's a good thing I'm your escort for tonight, then isn't it?" He winked at her and then made eye contact with me. "Wow, Sis, you look..." He paused and gave me a few second glances. "Wow." I smiled and gave him a hug. "If I made you speechless then I must look good." He leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "You look amazing. You're going to blow his mind, Brecks. These are for you by the way. Jimmy wanted me to give these to you. There's a letter too." I took a small, long box out of his hand and then a wider second one. I was kind of shocked that he got me two because I had done the exact same thing. I pointed over to the corner of the room. "His gifts are over there if you want to take them to him. There's a letter with his too." Jake looked over and smiled. "What am I, your messenger?" I slapped his shoulder and he flinced. "Im just kidding, of course I'll take them. It'll take his mind off fidgeting hopefully."
"Is he nervous? Is he doing okay? Do you think he's having second thoughts?" I asked as Jake walked over and grabbed the gifts and the letter. "Oh, he's nervous all right. He couldn't even button up his shirt because he was shaking but he's fine. And no, Brecks. He's not having second thoughts. He couldn't be more ready to marry you. I think he's nervous that you're having second thoughts to be honest." I shook my head. "Never have had second thoughts about him and I never will. You tell him that." Jake held up the letter and the gifts. "Will do. You really do look amazing. He wont know what hit him." I gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Give him my love, please." He nodded and turned to the rest of the girls. "Ladies, you all look fabulous." He leaned down and winked at Winnie. "Especially you, Winnie." Winnie giggled and Jake blew her a kiss. "Want me to take the little man?" He gestured to Thomas who was playing with Mom's necklace. "I guess you probably should. I bet Jimmy is missing him like crazy." I took Thomas from Mom and handed him to Jake, who struggled to hold him and the gifts. Drew grabbed the gifts from his arms and motioned him out the door. "Go. I'll follow you. I need to go to the bathroom anyways." With that they walked out of the room.
I sat down with my gifts and stared at them for a moment before deciding to open the letter first. I turned over the enveloped and started to tear up immediately when I saw the words To My Wife scrawled in his horrible yet adorable handwriting. "Mom, can you hand me some Kleenex? I can already tell I'm going to need it." Both mothers handed me a few tissues as I took the letter out and began to read it outloud. "Hey Brecks, its finally here. It's our wedding day and I can't wait until I see the beautiful woman that you are walking down the aisle towards me. I'm so excited for this day, I cant even tell you. You are my everything and I mean everything I say to you now. I wish I could do a better job at sharing you.." I paused and look at the handwriting once more. That cant be right. "SHOWING you. Showing me not sharing me." Drew closed the door behind her as everyone started laughing. "He has horrible handwriting so really it could be either or." I said, laughing slightly as Winnie came and sat on my lap. "But I have a lifetime to do that now and I am so excited about that. I feel like I've been waiting for this day forever but to be honest, I would wait a thousand lifetimes just to have this day with you. I know the last week has been hard and challenging. I know we've both laid awake at night hoping that this day will be perfect but I can promise you that no matter what we do, something is going to go wrong. I don't want my life with you to ever be perfect because honestly some of my fondest memories with you have been the times where nothing as gone right." My voice began to quiver and I cleared my throat, taking a moment to pause and let a few tears fall. "I look forward to every fight, every imperfection, every flaw and every failed attempt that we should go through and I promise to always be by your side through those times. I know it may not have been as immediate for you but I knew I loved you pretty much from the start but I fought it. I'll admit that now. I struggled with my feelings and I was scared about how strong they were but just like with everything else in our life, you broke down my stubborn walls, just like you always do. Just like you always will. Thank you for choosing me to be your husband. Thank you for accepting Winnie into your life and loving her as your own. I never dreamed it could be like this but I'm so happy that it is. You're a wonderful woman and mother to not only Thomas but to Winnie as well and I look forward to making our family grow even more if God lets us." My voice gave out at the end of that part and I could hear sniffles from around the room and Kleenex being pulled out by the handfuls. "The best decision I could ever and have ever made in my life has been loving you. When your father gives you away to me and my teary filled eyes meets your gorgeous blues, I hope you know how serious I am about the commitment we are making to one another. I cant wait to see you in your dress. You are going to be more beautiful than I can even wrap my mind around. I'll see you soon, luv. I love you. You cant see it but I just tapped over my heart. I love you so much. Love, your husband, Jimmy." I gave a soft tap over my heart and put the letter down.
"Open the gifts." Drew said, teary eyed as everyone else nodded in agreement, each wiping the tears away. I cleaned my face off and decided to open the big one first. I unwrapped it quickly and took it out of the box. I laughed out loud. "What is it?" Gloria asked as I read the post it that was attached. "It's a picture of Zack Morris dressed as Prince Charming from Saved by the Bell. Its autographed by Mark Paul Gosselaar. "It says, 'Sorry that I wasn't around to be your Prince Charming but I think you did pretty well. Happy Wedding Day.' And he put a post it on that says "This way you get to have both of your princes on your wedding day." Jimmy's mom looked around at us laughing and softly giggled herself before admitting. "I don't get it." I chuckled and put the picture down. "I told Jimmy that I had always imagined getting married to many guys when I was growing up. Many princes, so to speak. First it was Aladdin, Prince Charming, then it was Mark, and finally Jimmy. He gave me Mark dressed up as Prince Charming so that I could have both my princes. Mark and then Jimmy." His mom nodded. "Yep, sounds like him, whats the other one?"
"I don't know." I said softly as I opened the small box, revealing a turquoise Tiffany and Co. box. I gasped. "This is not a real Tiffany's box is it?" His sister leaned forward. "Oh no, that's the real thing. He must really be spoiling you." I opened the box and revealed a gorgeous white gold four leaf clover with four gems making up the stem. I picked up the chain and let everyone see it. There were gasps and sounds of approval. I undid the clasp and my mother came around and placed it around my neck. I put the charm in between my fingers and stared for a moment. It was perfect. "What's the gems for? Do you know?" I looked down at the stem at the sapphire, diamond, ruby and then pearl that it was made of. "Well, I think its our birthstones. Jimmy's is Sapphire for September. I was born in April so that's Diamond. Winnie is Ruby for July and Thomas's birthstone is a pearl. I would assume the clover is his good luck charm since that's his mono mark. He says we make our own luck so I'm sure it's a play on that, but its beautiful."
Everyone gave their words of approval when I heard the church bells go off. I looked out the window to where the altar was set up. It was jammed packed with our guests already. I looked up at the clock on the wall. 3 o clock already. "Well, looks like it's time to get ready to head out there. I'll go get your father." Mom said as she walked out of the door. I stood up and fixed my dress as Drew walked towards me. "Are you ready for this, Jones?" I took a deep breath as she handed me my bouquet now adorned with Jimmy's rosary and nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be. Let's do this." I said confidently as my dad came walking in to the room, stopping to cover his mouth as the tears flowed down his face.
***
"J-" I paused laughing slightly at the fact that both of us used our pet names for each other. We couldn't even be formal on our wedding day but then again, when were we ever formal to begin with. I shook my head before clearing my throat and continuing to read outloud. "Well, we made it. It's our wedding day. Its been a fast and fun journey to get to this day with you. Just a few short months after our engagement. Most people would think we were crazy for planning a wedding in such a short amount of time because that's not the normal thing to do. But I just tell them, when has anything we ever done been normal?" I could hear the chuckles fill the room as I looked up from my crouched position in my seat. "She has a point." I added before looking back down at the leter. "We stayed together our first night meeting, we kissed the next day on two separate occasions and we started dated not long after that followed by moving in with each other after one day of officially being together. We waited 7 months to say I love you and we waited until after we figured out we were pregnant. I'll admit now in front of present company since I'm sure they made you read this to them, that I knew I loved you from the very first kiss. To clarify, I mean when I kissed you, not the famous kiss that everyone knows about and I'm almost positive I knew before that. If I had to really get down to it, part of me loved you, or rather the thought of you, when I was a 17 year old staying up late to watch a goofy man with wild hair laugh his ass off during a sketch." I let out a half laugh as I looked up. "I didn't laugh that much so I have no idea what she is talking about." Higgins rolled his eyes and I shot him a knowing look. "No comments from the peanut gallery, Higs." I turned back to the letter. "As I've said before, I have envisioned this day in my head ever since I was a little girl and I was always dressed to the nines in this glamorous event and I was always marrying a handsome prince. The princes changed, as you now know, but eventually the prince I had settled on was in fact you. This was only supposed to be a fantasy of some sort. You were only supposed to fill the role until the man I was actually meant to marry came along. Little did I know that the prince I had settled on being my stand-in would actually end up being my real life prince. Now, here I am, on my wedding day and everything is exactly how I always pictured it and the man I get to spend the rest of my life with is the man I always dreamed of marrying. How lucky am I?" I felt a sob creep up in my throat as I read the next part. "You have grown from being a childhood crush to the love of my life. I had prayed to God every night that he would give me a man who could not only love me but would love all my flaws and imperfections. He would love everything that came along with me and God answered that prayer in a way I never thought he could. He more than answered my prayers. You have shown me what love is really like and not only by how you love me, but also how you love Winnie and Thomas. I couldn't imagine a better father for my son and I cant wait to have more children with you who have your remarkable sense of humor, your willingness to put everything before yourself, your compassion and your wonky fingers." I wiped a tear away as I laughed to myself. "I promise to be your best friend when you need it and to let you win a fight, every now and then. I promise to call you out when you're being an idiot but most of all I promise to be there, in every moment of our lives. Whether its cheat codes for Golden Eye or helping you pick up the pieces if everything falls apart, I will always be there. There's no doubt in my mind that this is how my life was meant to be. I love you more than I did yesterday, I love you more than I did five minutes ago, and my love will continue to grow for you for the rest of our lives." I wiped my eyes on my forearm and finished the letter. "Now get your ass down that aisle so I can marry you already, Fallon. P.S- I hope you catch me if I happen to fall today but if history proves anything, I know you will. I cant wait to be your wife. I love you. Brecks."
I quickly put the letter away and stuck it in Thomas's diaper bag before turning to my gifts. I picked up the long skinny one that said "open first" on the wrapping paper. I made quick work and got it opened, revealing two ties. Both were heather green in color but one was covered in a now brown stain. I laughed slightly as I sniffted when I pulled out a tiny card on the inside and read it outloud. "I figure I should probably return this tie since I wont be needing as a souvenir anymore. I never needed it in the first place as I would never forget the night that I had spent with you." I picked up the tie that I had used to stop the bleeding on Breckyns arm and held it up. "I tried to get the blood out but I guess after two years, stains just don't lift." I paused and looked at the guys. "No, Brecks, they do not." I put the tie down and continued reading. "So, I figured the least I could do is replace my favorite tie with a new one. I love you." I pulled out the new Heather Green tie and held it up. "I'll have to wear this the first night back to work. Remind me of that Higs." He nodded and leaned against the door. I put the ties back in the box and opened the second, smaller box. "Oh wow." I said as I took off the cover, revealing two tie clips. One was white gold and one was solid gold. The tie clips had a clover on the end that looked exactly like my monologue mark. I picked up the silver tie clip and held it up. "This is so weird. I actually got her a clover necklace with our birthstones along with the kids' birthstones. We both got each other a funny gift and a serious one and they both had the same theme." I slipped the tie clip onto my purple plaid tie and smiled. "I needed a clip for today anyways and it pulls it together perfectly." I replaced the lid to the box and wiped my face off just as I heard church bells ringing outside of the barn.
"I think that's your cue to head down to the altar." Higgins said as I looked at the watch on my wrist. 3 o clock on the dot. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly before clapping my hands together. "Well, Pops, you want to walk with me down to the altar? All the other guys have to stay behind to walk with the girls." My dad nodded and put his arm around my shoulder. "I would be glad to." He said simply. I nodded and told everyone thank you and that I was glad to share this day with them. I gave Thomas a quick kiss and straightened his bowtie as Karen came into the room. "John? Breckyn is ready for you to come in to walk her down the aisle." I looked over at John who nodded and clapped me on the back. Karen looked up at me and smiled. "You look incredible, Jimmy." I sighed and straightened my tie. "Well, thank you, mom. How's Breckyn holding up? Is she okay? Is she nervous or?" Karen held up her hand. "She's simply radiant and she's doing great. Shes practically ready to run down that aisle to you. Speaking of which, you should probably get down there so she can." I nodded and gave her a kiss. "You look gorgeous, Mom. Tell my mother that I'll meet her outside the barn to walk her to her seat with Pops." She nodded. "Will do. We love you and are so excited to have you join the family." I shook John's hand and squeezed Karen's shoulder softly. "Me too."
"You ready to go, Jim?" Dad said as he stood in the doorway. I put my hands in my pockets, straightened my tie clip and took a deep breath. "I'm more than ready. Let's go get me married, Pops." I put my arm around him and smiled as wide as I ever had before as we walked down the stairs and waited for Mom outside of the barn to walk down the aisle.