Bad Luck or Fate?

Chapter 30

As I stood in the rain in front of Breckyn, not knowing whether or not she would believe me. The truth is, I wasn't saving that stuff. I was planning to burn all that shit. I don't need those pictures. I don't need my wedding band. I don't need those letters. WHY DID I HAVE TO WRITE THE SAME WORDS? I didn't even realize that I had did that. 

How was I going to get Breckyn to believe me? I didn't mean those words when I said them to Nancy. I was just trying to hold on to something that I didn't know that I didn't need at the time. I still wasn't sure that I didn't need her until I met Breckyn. I didn't realize exactly what I needed until I watched her drive away in the taxi 9 months ago. I still didn't want to realize it, not until I read those words she wrote to me. But I knew I couldn't let her go when I saw her in that hospital bed and I knew I had to do anything it took to protect her when I heard that heartbeat that first time. I made that heartbeat. WE made that heartbeat. Part of me lives in her now and it always will.

I stood in the monsoon that poured down around us. I stared at Breckyn standing in the rain. Her white t shirt was plastered to her body. I could see the baby bump. It would be unnoticeable to any other person but me and her. Actually, I don't even know if she notices it, yet. But to me, she's gorgeous. I didn't get to see this happen with Winnie. I didn't get to watch Winnie grow in there. I didn't get to see the change happen in front of my eyes. All I got was the end result. Don't get me wrong. I know that sounds like I don't love Winnie or that I don't appreciate everything that happened to have her in my life. I am appreciative of that, its just something really special about watching your child grow inside of the woman that you love. Watching it happen in front of your eyes is a whole different story. That's a different kind of special. 

I bit my lip at the sight of this stunning woman standing in front of me. "Come on, Breck. Say something." I close my eyes and whispered under my breath. I felt her hands around my neck and I opened my eyes. "You did pretty good." she said as she pulled me in for a deep long kiss. I felt my heart fall down into my stomach. You know that kind of pain you feel, that twinge of pain, when you think about that one person in your life that can change your mood with a smile, or a kiss, or just by being in the same room as you? Its that pain that hurts but at the same time you hope that the feeling never stops? It makes you have to catch your breath? That's the pain I feel every time I see her. Every time she touches my chest. Every time she kisses me. 

I picked her up with one swoop and started walking back to the house, the only thing about to part our lips is a quick gasp of air or the raindrops falling between us. She's like putty in my hands by the time I reach the house. It's difficult to walk up the stairs without looking, but I manage to do it, even though with every kiss that Breckyn gives me, my legs start turning to Jello quicker than I can get on dry land. I throw open the door and kick it closed behind us and walk as fast as I can to our bedroom. I kicked open the door and I heard the doorknob smash into the wall as I put Breckyn on the bed. I looked back for a quick second. Yep, there was a hole in the wall. Whoops. I'll fix that tomorrow. I thought to myself as I turned to look at Breckyn literally ripping my black dress shirt off my chest. I stared at her as the buttons flew across the room, one of them hitting me in the face. I tried not to chuckle to myself but, come on, I've only seen these things in movies. I was able to at least stifle the laugh as she threw the shirt across the room. I stood up and ran my hand through my hair to get the water out of my face. I kicked my Italian dress shoes in two different directions as Breckyn desperately fought with my button on my dress pants. I stood back and shimmied out of my dress pants, kicking those across the room as well. 

I looked down next to Breckyn and saw that stupid fucking box. I'm getting rid of this here and now. I took my arm and flung the box and its contents across the room. I would clean that up later. Right now, I had some serious making up to do. Making love to do. I stood back and stared at Breckyn. My heart started racing as she wiggled on the bed in her drenched clothes, leaving nothing to the imagination. I felt the blood drain from my extremities and suddenly my boxers weren't as loose as they were a minute ago.