Disdain, Agony, Hope, and Lov...

By anakinpadmeforlife

173K 8.8K 1.5K

Pride and Prejudice from the eyes of Mr. Darcy. Love, affection, pain, and tons and tons of angst. More

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 62
Epilogue

Chapter 61

3K 139 6
By anakinpadmeforlife

Comments and votes, please :)

"Will you ask Mr. Bennet today?" asked Bingley as he and Darcy made their way down the road to Longbourn.

"Yes. Unless Elizabeth has done otherwise, I doubt Mr. Bennet - or the rest of her family, for that matter, has any notion of our attachment."

"So you shall be the one to tell him?" said Bignely. He laughed a little to himself. "I believe the surprise he will experience when you ask him will be a sight to see."

"It would."

Darcy was slightly apprehensive at asking Elizabeth's father. He knew not what opinion the man had of him but he believed it was not very favorable. But he knew that Mr. Bennet loved his daughters very much, so perhaps he would support Elizabeth's decision in accepting Darcy as her husband.

He smiled. No matter. He would cross that hurdle when he got there. For the present, all that mattered was that he had Elizabeth's approval. Compared to that challenge, everything else was much simpler.

"We shall have to arrange for another walk, won't we, Darcy?"

"That is a good idea."

___________________________________________________

As soon as they entered, Bingley looked at Elizabeth so expressively, and shook hands with such warmth that told Elizabeth that Darcy had informed his friend of their attachment. He soon afterwards said aloud, "Mr. Bennet, have you no more lanes hereabouts in which Lizzy may lose her way again?"

For his own part, Darcy could do no more than smile discreetly at his beloved. She did as well and gave a careful nod towards her mother as Mrs. Bennet spoke.

"I advise Mr. Darcy, and Lizzy, and Kitty," said Mrs. Bennet, "to walk to Oakham Mount this morning. It is a nice long walk, and Mr. Darcy has never seen the view."

"It may do very well for the others," replied Bingley; "but I am sure it will be too much for Kitty. Won't it, Kitty?"

Darcy silently gave his friend his thanks and vocally expressed a great curiosity to see the view from the Mount. Elizabeth nodded and she and Jane proceeded upstairs to get ready, Mrs. Bennet following behind. Darcy could here her speak a little before her voice was lost to his ears.

Very soon, the two couples were making their way towards Oakham Mount. Only when they were out of sight of Longbourn, would they speak.

Jane was the first to do so. "Mr. Darcy, let me offer you my congratulations on your engagement to Lizzy," she said, the warmth in her voice adding another layer of her delight to her words.

By Jane's side, Bingley gave a brief bow to Elizabeth. "My congratulations must be given to you as well, dear sister," said he. "Nothing could give me greater pleasure than to see you attached to my friend."

Elizabeth laughed and blushed as she replied to Bingley. Still slightly embarrassed, Darcy could do nothing more than smile and express his own thanks.

This was but merely the beginning of a walk full of laughter and conversation, in which all four parties were perfectly at ease with each other that gave a hint of what joys were to come, for both couples and for them all as friends and relations. There was much to discuss; plans for a double wedding, events of the months past. Darcy even found the chance - and courage - to apologise to Jane for his actions in keeping her and Bingley apart when she had been in London. Jane forgave him heartily. Arriving at Oakham Mount, they spent several minutes admiring the view across the field, even to where Netherfield was visible in the distance. On the way back, the four split into twos and separated, content to walk in silence in the close company of each other.

"I presume your family, save Jane, are unaware of our engagement?" asked Darcy as he and Elizabeth walked behind Jane and Bingley, their pose a reflection of their own, with Elizabeth's hand in his.

"They are, but I think all shall be revealed tonight," replied Elizabeth.

"Then I shall ask for your father's permission after dinner, then?"

"Yes. But be discreet about it, for I will tell Mama myself, once you have left."

Darcy didn't protest against this arrangement. Whatever Mrs. Bennet's reaction might be to the news of Elizabeth's acceptance of his proposal, he imagined it would be better if he was not present to see it, and he well understood Elizabeth's desire to tell her mother at a time when he would not be around.

"Elizabeth, what does your father think of me?" asked Darcy suddenly.

Elizabeth frowned slightly as she thought. "I am afraid that the only knowledge Papa has of you is through me," she admitted slowly. "And you know very well what I thought I felt about you before. But I was mistaken, and if I tell that to him, then he will understand."

There was something in her voice that Darcy did not miss. "Elizabeth," he said, stopping in his walk and looking at her. "Do not feel guilty about expressing your dislike of me to your father. That is in the past, and have little bearing on the present."

She smiled at him. "Thank you for such sentiments. I am now more worried about how I will convince him that my feelings have changed."

"I am sure that will not be as difficult as you believe it to be."

The inevitable happened as they drew even closer together. Darcy marveled at the sensation of her mouth on his and reluctantly drew away when his embarrassment overcame the pleasure of such an experience.

By now it was time to return to Longbourn. Darcy and Elizabeth caught up with Jane and Bingley and arranged themselves in a manner more fitting two casual and indifferent acquaintances, then proceeded back to the house.

________________________________________________

In the evening when Darcy observed Mr. Bennet arise and go to his library, he followed him and knocked firmly on the door. Mr. Bennet called for his visitor to enter and Darcy did so, closing the door behind him.

It would have seemed that Mr. Bennet had been intending to settle down in front of the fire with a book but upon Darcy's entrance, he got up, an expression of astonishment on his features.

It was Mr. Bennet who spoke first. "Mr. Darcy this is a surprise. Can I be of service to you?"

The man's tone was perhaps more formal and cold than Darcy remembered it to be. Darcy stood, uncertain of what to say. He did not know Mr. Bennet very well and had never exchanged any words with him apart from the occasional greeting. How he was to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage he did not know.

"Mr. Bennet, I have come to ask for your permission on a matter of great importance," he began slightly hesitantly.

Mr. Bennet frowned. "Oh? And what might that be, sir?"

Darcy took a deep breath. "I am not quite certain how to say this, sir, but I have come to ask for your permission to wed your daughter, Elizabeth."

Under any other circumstances, the expression on Mr. Bennet's face would have been comical, but the matter was too delicate to warrant Darcy's laughter. Mr. Bennet's eyes widened and he stared at the younger man with an expression of a man who had been caught completely off-guard.

"I - ah," began Mr. Bennet, as he sat down in the nearby chair. "This is quite an unexpected development. When, may I ask did this come about?"

"My proposal was given to Elizabeth yesterday, though I have harbored my feelings towards her for many months now."

"I see," said Mr. Bennet. There was a look of worry on his face that Darcy did not like. "Does anyone else know about this?"

"My friend Bingley and your eldest daughter, Jane Bennet." When Mr. Bennet did not reply, Darcy continued earnestly, "Please sir, do not question my love for Elizabeth or my motives in proposing marriage to her. I truly love her as I have loved no one ever before. I will always love her, care for her and protect her. I know that your opinion of me is not as high as I would like it to be but -"

"Come now, young man," said Mr. Bennet cutting off his flow of words. "Do sit down."

Darcy did so. There was an amusement in Mr. Bennet's features that quieted Darcy more than anything else had. Once he was seated. Mr. Bennet spoke.

"I must admit, Mr. Darcy, that your application has taken me quite by surprise, even with the prior information I received from my cousin Mr. Collins. I had no idea that three of my daughters would become engaged in such a short space of time. You must understand that I wish for my daughters to marry only men who are worthy of them, though in Lydia's case there was little room for argument. Forgive me for asking, but your aunt, what says she to your engagement?"

Darcy grimaced slightly. "She is not happy, though I believe she will eventually come to accept it."

Mr. Bennet leaned back in his chair. "Yet despite her disapproval, you are still willing to marry Elizabeth." A statement, not a question.

"Yes, despite her disapproval, despite the censure of the world if need be," replied Darcy firmly.

Mr. Bennet raised his eyebrows at the younger man's declaration and sat thoughtfully for some moments.

"Have I your approval?" asked Darcy.

Mr. Bennet stood up and after the briefest second of hesitancy, extended his hand across the gap between them. "If that is the way your feelings lie," said he, "then I can do nothing more than give you my . . . congratulations, and every wish for your future together."

Darcy smiled, the last of his worries falling away, too exuberantly joyful to notice anything other than the fact that Elizabeth was to be his wife.

"Thank you, sir," said he, shaking Mr. Bennet's hand.

"Yes, yes, be off with you now," chastised Mr. Bennet waving him away. Darcy walked quickly to the door. Just before he opened it, Mr. Bennet asked, "Send Lizzy in here would you please, Mr. Darcy? I wish to speak to her."

"Yes, sir."

Darcy exited the library and proceeded towards the drawing room where the rest of the Bennet family was seated, talking over cups of tea. Elizabeth immediately turned towards him, her worry plainly seen on her face but it was relieved by his smile. She was sewing at the table, her sister Catherine beside her. Darcy walked over to her, and, while pretending to admire her work, whispered, "Go to your father, he wants you in the library." She was gone directly, and then it was his turn to wait anxiously

Though Mr. Bennet had given his approval, Darcy was certain that the man hesitant about letting Darcy marry his daughter. Darcy could well understand Mr. Bennet's feelings and wryly agreed that if such a man had asked to marry Georgiana, he also would be unsure about the prospect. But though he could understand Mr. Bennet's misgivings, it didn't make it any easier for him not to worry.

Elizabeth did not return for over half an hour, a period of time in which Darcy's feeling of foreboding grew and grew. Just at the time when he was about to knock on Mr. Bennet's door for a second time, Elizabeth returned to the drawing room and gave him a smile that told him that everything was settled and there was nothing to worry about.

Mr. Bennet had also come in to join them, much to the surprise of everyone. Darcy was even more surprised when Mr. Bennet voluntarily sought his company and engaged him in conversation. He could only venture that Elizabeth had told her father everything and Mr. Bennet was now taking pains to amend any past relations, and to become acquainted with his future son-in-law. To his even greater surprise, Darcy found that he quite enjoyed the older man's company, for his dry humor and quick wit made any conversation a pleasure.

Everything was too recent for real gaiety, and for the most part, the evening passed tranquilly away. There was nothing material to be dreaded, and the comfort of ease and familiarity would come in time.

Darcy did wish that he had the liberty of displaying a more affectionate farewell to Elizabeth, as Bingley did to Jane, but was comforted by the fact that tonight was the last night they had to conceal their relationship.

"From Mr. Bennet's behaviour towards you, I take it that your suit has been successful?" asked Bingley as they rode in the moonlight back to Netherfield.

Darcy smiled but said nothing.

Bingley sighed in exasperation and reigned in his horse. "Darcy, come now, lighten up a little! Surely you can display more emotion than that!"

Darcy stopped as well. "I am sorry, but I am not quite sure what I should be feeling now, relief or happiness or both."

"Why must you think about it?"

They began to ride again, coming to the field below Oakham Mount. Suddenly Darcy urged his horse into a gallop, drawing in front of his friend and calling back, "If that is the way you want it, then I shall race you back to Netherfield!"

"Give a man some warning before you start, Darcy!"

Laughing with the gaiety of those who had begun their lives anew, the two friends chased each other back home.

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