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Colonel Fitzwilliam arrived at Darcy's townhouse just as the latter gentleman had finished his lunch. The servant announced the Colonel's presence to him and Darcy came out to the hall to observe his cousin, dressed in civilian clothing, directing the servants to bring his belongings inside. His crisp, military-like activity came to a halt when Darcy arrived, and changed to a more informal greeting.
"Darcy, how are you?" he asked, giving him a piercing look. Darcy smiled at him which somewhat alleviated his cousin's glance.
"Very well, thank you. I am glad you have come, my time here has been, so far, most monotonous."
"I am sure we can change that. Shall we go inside?"
They did, Darcy doing his best to remain casual and appear relaxed to Colonel Fitzwilliam.
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Darcy was surprised when Fitzwilliam kept to lighthearted subjects for most of the afternoon, relating tales of the antics of the officers. It was not until the two were playing a game of pool that the Colonel began the subject Darcy had known to be coming for some time.
"What are you doing in London, Darcy?" he asked, while Darcy began to take his shot. "Why are you not in Hertfordshire, near Miss Bennet? I'm sure her company is much more appealing than mine."
Darcy pretended to concentrate on the ball. He hit it into the pocket, then slowly turned to his cousin, deciding to be absolutely frank and true to whatever Fitzwilliam asked.
"Bingley has decided to renew his attentions to the eldest Miss Bennet. I believed that an engagement would soon be approaching, and so I left in order to give him the privacy he undoubtedly needs for such a venture."
"Would I be wrong to assume that you had a hand in that?"
"Not quite. I confessed my deception to him the morning of my departure. He took it well - too well for my liking. I feel I deserve his resentment yet it seems that he will forgive me utterly."
Colonel Fitzwilliam stood up to take his turn. "And rightly so. You did not deceive him out of malice - you were merely mistaken. But you are avoiding telling me about Miss Elizabeth Bennet. You know perfectly well it is she I wish to talk about."
Darcy made no answer. His cousin hit the ball but did not look where it went, concentrating instead on Darcy.
"Have you seen her? Was she not at Pemberley?"
"Yes, she was."
"And? What happened? Has she forgiven you?"
Darcy sighed. "I do not know how things stand between us now. I believe that she no longer hates me, but I don't know what she thinks about me now."
"Oh? Why?"
"Conflicting matters that make me wonder what opinion she has of me now. For example, I ran into her on my grounds, after I had had a swim in the lake. What opinion do you think she would have formed of me, when I suddenly appeared less formally attired than usual and soaked to the skin?"
His cousin laughed out aloud at this and at Darcy's woeful look. "I can't imagine, though it must have been somewhat of a shock. What else?"
"Georgiana and I invited her and her aunt and uncle to dine at Pemberley the next evening. She sang for the company and . . ." He trailed off, a dreamy look on his face as he remembered the occasion. He returned to the present when he heard his cousin laughing again.
"I will not ask why you look as if you are reliving a fond memory. If that is the effect she has on you, perhaps the next time I see her I will ask her to perform for me!"
The last was said in jest, but Darcy did not share in his cousin's effusive laughs. His expression darkened and he glared at his cousin.
Fitzwilliam stopped and looked at Darcy. "Have I said anything that has offended you?"
Reminded of what he believed were Elizabeth's feelings for Fitzwilliam, Darcy became caught between jealousy and guilt at harboring such feelings for his cousin. The anger in his face drained away to be replaced by a look of despair and resignation.
Frowning, the Colonel asked what was the matter. When Darcy did not answer, Fitzwilliam replied, "You cannot hide from me, Darcy. Something about Miss Bennet has affected you again, I am sure. What is it? Perhaps I can help."
Darcy could not help but laugh bitterly at this. "I doubt you can help me deal with jealousy against you, Fitzwilliam."
His cousin stared incredulously at him. "What on earth do you mean?"
"I mean that I am exceedingly jealous that you are the man to have secured Miss Elizabeth's affections."
Fitzwilliam stared at his cousin in confusion.
"Miss Bennet harbours an affection for me? Where on earth did you get that preposterous notion?"
Darcy stopped and thought. "She seemed to enjoy your company at Rosings. When I spoke to Miss Lucas she said she had been hoping for a marriage between the two of you."
"Those are not solid arguments, Darcy."
"Do you deny that you love her?" snapped he.
"Yes." The Colonel stood up and looked at Darcy straight in the eye. "Though I would have been perfectly willing to further our acquaintance, if she had wished it, it was clearly signaled to me that she had no intention of taking our relationship beyond mere friendship, and I respect that decision. We enjoyed each other's company, that is true, but your jealousy is making you create situations where there are none."
It was Darcy's turn to stare. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, you blind fool. I personally thought at first that she was in love with you, until careful observation told me otherwise, for whenever I spoke to her, all she could talk about was you." Fitzwilliam began to laugh again. "Miss Lucas hopes for too much, and is rather innocent of the ways of love. Miss Bennet and I are no more than friends. All of your suspicions are wholly unfounded and you are jumping to conclusions."
"I am?"
"Yes." His cousin returned to his seat and poured a glass of wine, the game forgotten. "You feel she could never love you and so you find reasons to prove to yourself that Miss Elizabeth Bennet has turned her attentions to others whom you see as more worthy of her love."
"Are you implying I am crushing my own self worth?" asked Darcy in disbelieving anger.
"That is precisely what I mean. You are so used to feeling sorry for yourself that I think you are creating reasons to prolong your own torture."
"Why on earth would I want to do that?" demanded Darcy.
"You hurt yourself because you feel you deserve it. Before, your pride made you believe that whatever you were always in the right, but now it is the opposite. You feel you deserve punishment for hurting your friend, your love's dearest sister and Miss Bennet herself. How can I convince you that you have suffered enough? Why must you hurt yourself?"
Darcy looked at Fitzwilliam, amazed at his cousin's insight.
Can this be true? Were my suspicions entirely of my own making?
He thought carefully about when and why he had believed that Elizabeth was in love with his cousin. Now that he really thought about it, he had jumped to conclusions.
A profound feeling of relief swept over him. He would not have to compete with his cousin for Elizabeth's affections. But it did not automatically mean that he had Elizabeth's love, which was what he desperately longed for.
"Where is your resolve, man? Do you find it so hard to believe that Miss Bennet could love you?" asked Fitzwilliam. Darcy slowly shook his head.
"I will agree that I am creating fantastical ideas of my own imagination, but I cannot agree with you that Miss Bennet loves me. I find that an impossibility."
Fitzwilliam sighed and said, "Believe what you will. I have not seen Miss Bennet since Rosings so I would not presume to know her feelings at this point. But, I know yours and mine. There is nothing for you to worry about; understand that there is nothing between me and your Miss Bennet."
Darcy smiled sadly. "She is not my Miss Bennet."