(WANG DAO)
Only Hua escorted me outside to send me off. Our parents already retired to their room.
"Are you alright? Baba said some harsh words during dinner while lecturing us." I asked my sister with concern.
I do get why Baba can be disappointed with how Hua and I acted during dinner. But I think my sister took the blunt of our sire's annoyance on us.
"I am fine." Hua looked up at me. "I think Baba is distracted."
I frowned at that. "Why do you say that? He seems normal enough to me..."
Hua smiled, "Ah, it's because you were not here when Auntie YingYing visited."
My eyes widened, "Auntie YingYing visited? When? Oh, I am missing visiting relatives now too?"
Auntie YingYing is Baba's youngest sister. She lives in Shanxi, just four hours of travel from the Capital.
"Around the time Jin's mother came to see me," Hua sighed. "Auntie seeks Baba and they talked but when Baba came back from their conversation, he looked distracted."
"I see. Maybe that is the reason why Baba and Father are traveling..." the reason why my parents are leaving is a source of curiosity for me.
Hua shook her head. "I don't think so. I think I know the reason why Father and Baba are going away alone..."
I frowned again. My sister sounded confident about her guess, "Really? Then tell me, what is the reason for their travel this time?" I crossed my arms on my chest.
"It's to commemorate Father's tenth year with us." Hua uttered gleefully.
My scowl deepened. "Has it been ten years already?"
Hua's smile vanishes, "Yes. Don't you remember, around this time, ten years ago, we moved here in Wang Estate when it was still newly built and shortly after that, we met Father. You don't remember?"
My sister looked irritated that I forgot about the date of our Father's arrival in our lives.
"Well, I remember the moment we came here and when we met Father but I didn't memorize the exact date," I snorted while defending myself. "And really, it's been ten years already? Where did all those time went?"
Hua sighed, "Father's time were consumed taking care of us. Baba with doing his work. I took that time to heal myself. You took the time for growing up. That's where the time went, Dao ah."
"Ah...okay..." I chuckled while scratching my cheek. "I guess it's been that long already."
"They will travel so they can spend some time alone. Father and Baba had been working hard to provide and care for us. Now that I am getting ready to get married and you are starting your military career...I think it's time our parents give time to each other."
"You have a point," I agreed with my sister's sentiment. "Well, I will sure work hard to earn my own name and money so Baba and Father would have less worry."
"I will work hard too. Be careful on your way, Dao ah."
I nodded, "I will just meet my friends and then...do something." I don't want to explain that something to my innocent sister. "Goodnight, Hua." I waved at my sister before moving to where my horse is waiting.
While riding outside to meet my friends, I am still marveling on the fact that it's been ten years already since our lives were changed when Father came into our lives.
I guess, the arrival of one person can really change people's lives.
...................
(DAYU)
Sending Dao back to the Palace was still a hardship...but it's not as heartbreaking as it was the first time I saw him riding away from our home some months ago.
Dao hugged his sister, Nana and Nanny before standing before me. I touched his face lovingly and smiled at him.
"May the heavens always smile at you, my son." I said as a blessing to him.
Dao nodded. "I pray for the same to happen to all of us, Father. May you and Hua always be safe." My son grinned sheepishly. "But since I know you and my sister...I don't worry that much."
I laughed at that. I reached to hug my son. Dao wrapped his arms around me as well. "That is right. Just do your duty well, don't worry about us. Eat well. Rest when you are tired. Stay alert while making sure you and the Crown Prince are safe. Always trust your instinct. Always trust your strength. Your heart won't lead you astray. And always remember, we are waiting for you...whenever you are ready to go home. I love you, my son."
"Thank you, Father. I love you too." Dao sighed before letting me go. He smiled at all of us. "Thank you for your keepsakes and gifts. I will share some of the food you packed for me with my brothers at arms. I will see you again soon. I promise."
"Always be safe," Hua stood by my side and I wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
"Eat well, my Dao ah." Dao's nanny sniffed but she remained strong. Her tears at bay.
With one last nod, Dao put on his cloak and took the rein of Gentleman from the stable boy holding the horse steady. Dao expertly mount his horse and waved at us before maneuvering Gentleman to move.
Dao turned his head to us. Hua and I waved at him with smiles on our faces. He smiled at us and then motion Gentleman to start running. We watched him rode away to the estate's gate on his horse.
Hua sighed before me. "He must think he looks majestic and handsome on his horse." She said grudgingly. "He is a show off..."
I chuckled at that. "You miss him already?" I know my daughter. She is grumbling because one part of her will always be with her twin brother. Their connection is strong.
Hua looked up to smile at me. She also nodded. "How come when he came yesterday, it's like he never left our home. And now that he has gone again, its like he has taken some of our air with him."
Her words echoed what I am feeling perfectly.
"I think it's because Dao is part of our family. No matter how long he has gone, he will always fit with us because he is one of us. A Wang through and through. And because of that same reason, it's why everytime Dao will leave, he will take parts of our hearts with him." I caressed my daughter's hair before kissing Hua's temple. "Will you be alright?" I inquired gently.
Hua nodded again. "I will be fine, Father. Dao is just a few miles away. He is close enough that I can easily reach him when he needs me and I am where he can easily come to me when I call for him. We will be fine."
"That is right," I am pleased at Hua's way of thinking. "As long as you two can reach each other, everything will be alright."
And I hope it will always be like that for my children. As long as that's the case, everything will be fine.
....................
(EMPEROR SHEN)
Everything is not fine.
My former wife is now rummaging my Ministry of Archive and Records. Jin's information that he got during his visit to his mother's ancestral home has lead me to send more people in South Indes to look deeply into the life XiLen had lived there while in exile.
"I think Mughal soldiers and guards kept coming in the Capital, Baba. And my mother can command them. She has authority to mobilize at least that part of the Mughal military."
Jin is clearly disturbed with what he has discovered. "I think she got plans to get what she wants. This will not be as easy as we think. She got more tricks under her sleeves and I think she is ready to use them all to make us give her that thing she is seeking. My mother obviously, I can even say fervently, needs this...seer..."
The MoonEyes Seer. XiLen is demanding me to hand over the MoonEyes Seer.
Not going to happen.
Not while I am the Emperor and not when Han's future reign is on the line.
My Crown Prince. My son. My Heir. My dynasty. Jin, Guo, Cai. My legacies. My treasures. My children.
XiaoTong. My Empress.
Everything is on the line.
And I cannot sleep peacefully until this is all over. I stand before the stairs that leads to my throne in the Throne Room. Wondering what more can I do to keep that throne and my dynasty safe.
"If you cannot sleep, you should have come to me," I turned around to see my Empress standing alone in the middle of Throne Room, without her guards and maid servants.
Like me, I waved away my eunuchs so I can be alone with my thoughts here in the Throne Room.
And now, XiaoTong has joined me. My Empress and I...together in the room that symbolizes our power as the monarch in these lands.
"Why are you still awake?" I asked XiaoTong as I turned to face her.
"I was about to when my senior lady maid told me that she come upon your eunuch and he said you are still awake and thinking here in the Throne Room." XiaoTong toom a step closer to me. "If you couldn't sleep, you should have called for me or a physician to get you something to help you get some rest."
I snorted at that. "I am still young for sleeping tonic," I said disdainfully. I stared into my wife's lovely face. "And I have this idea that you won't welcome my presence in your chamber anymore. After all that happened. Especially now that..." I winced.
"Especially now that your first wife is here. Is that what you want to say?" XiaoTong inquired evenly.
I sighed. "I won't apologize for XiLen's presence. I didn't see her coming." I frowned. "Well, then I guess I do have to apologize..."
"No need," XiaoTong cut into my words. "She is a nuisance but it's not like she can affect me anymore than she has done in the last years. And I have come to the conclusion that my..." my Empressed sighed. "That the burden caused by my emotions were mostly because I let her affect me. I put too much importance on Princess XiLen that I let myself feel inferior to her. But no more. I am your Empress. The Queen of these lands. I am inferior only to my sovereign. To you..."
I nodded. Grateful that XiaoTong is finally seeing the truth. She is inferior to no one. Most especially not to XiLen.
"But let's come back to your problem, Your Majesty. Why can't you sleep?" XiaoTong asked.
When I thought about the reason of my restlessness, I grimaced. "It's because of Jin's mother." I answered honestly. "Her demands are...too complicated."
"What are her demands?" XiaoTong frowned delicately. "I heard you had a meeting with her together with Prince Jin and General Wang but the contents of that meeting was greatly secreted."
I nodded. Not surprised that even XiLen didn't confide to anyone about the contents of our meeting. She is clearly as wary as me to let anyone to know her demands for not asking me to fulfill my promise to let her have our son.
Just goes to show how desperate XiLen is to get her hands on the MoonEyes Seer in secret.
"Can I ask about your conversation with Princess XiLen?" XiaoTong inquired.
I stared at my wife. "It is a complex matter..."
XiaoTong let out a ladylike laughter. "Am I not bright enough to understand this complex matter, Shen?"
I was horrified at that implication. "What? No!" I shook my head frantically and took steps to come closer to XiaoTong. "No. That is not what I meant...it's...no..."
I stopped talking as XiaoTong patiently stood to witness my fumbles.
I sighed. "Why can't I say anything right when I am in front of you?" I asked my wife in an agonized tone. Why do I feel unnerved everytime I am near my own wife?
XiaoTong shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it's because you are guilty of something."
I winced at her blunt honesty. "Yes. That's probably what it is..."
Silence reigned between us. XiaoTong blinked and I gazed into her eyes. They are slanted, almost feline like. Two dark pools of enigma and strength that can either pull you or intimidate you.
XiaoTong is a beautiful woman. But not unlike Jin, my wife also puts a healthy barrier between herself and the world around her. And after what happened to the Heir selection and the death of her father...XiaoTong grew more determined to be the Empress everyone should look up to.
But that's it. She is determined to be an Empress. Nothing more. Her desire to be my wife, I think has been locked away for good now. Her ambitions for her children, safely put aside as she only dream now to support my heir. Her role as a mother, she does with a sense of detachment from Guo and a strong sense of playing it by the rules for Cai and Han.
XiaoTong has settled on her role. Demanding nothing but respect for her status as my Empress, and giving away nothing but her grace as the mother of these lands.
If we want something from her, we have to approach her and demand it. Which will be very hard to do because like I said, XiaoTong is not demanding anything from anyone anymore.
How can you demand something from someone who is not demanding or even expecting anything from you? How...?
How can I demand her to be my wife when she is not expecting me to act as her husband? We can only stand as Emperor and Empress now.
That is looking to be our fate.
I want to reach for my wife. See if XiaoTong is still warm. If she is still alive inside and not just merely existing as my Empress.
To see if I still have a chance to salvage anything from our marriage.
"I..." I opened my mouth to speak but I find myself not knowing what to say. What can I say to her? After hurting her many times...for many years.
What right do I have to reach out to her?
XiaoTong gave me a patient look. "I won't make it easy for you, Shen. You have to do this on your own term." She said.
I looked into her eyes and saw her staring steadily at me. By the gods, she is a tough one. A strong woman. I think she is even stronger than me and my sons. All of us combined.
I stopped thinking and just move. My feet took those last steps and my body gravitated towards my Empress. When I got in front of her, close to her, I bowed and lean my forehead on top of XiaoTong's right shoulder.
My Empress didn't flinch. She didn't even made a sound. She stood strong and steady as I show her a weak moment.
"I have secrets, XiaoTong. This crown has secrets." I said, in a tired tone.
When I said those words, my Empress finally showed a reaction. She stiffened. "Those secrets...Shen, will those secrets put our children and empire in peril?" She asked carefully.
I closed my eyes. "If I make a wrong choice, yes. It will put all of us in danger. Han. Our Han...XiaoTong. How can I protect our Han?" I worry about our heir the most. "I manipulated everything so that I can get Wang Dao to protect our heir...but I feel like it's still not enough."
XiaoTong grew quiet after listening to my woes. Then I felt a hand caressing the back of my head. A warm hand that gave me a feeling that I almost forgotten.
"What can I do to help?" XiaoTong asked.
I sighed and lifted my head from her shoulder. I opened my eyes and look down at her.
"Can you arrange a quick party for me? A big lavish party with lots of spectacles and pagentry that will capture anyone's pique, curiosity and attention?" I asked my wife.
XiaoTong frowned slightly. "An extravagant party?"
I nodded. "I need to hide someone in plain sight. Can you help me?"
XiaoTong's eyes held questions. Many questions. But in the end, she proved to me that she is ultimately, my ally. That she is someone like me, a parent who is invested on our son's future reign.
She nodded. "Give me three days, and I will give you the lavish party you need."
I smiled in relief at my Empress.
Suddenly, the burden I am carrying is beginning to feel lighter.