Riverdale. Once a safe, decent, innocent place, had become noir town. Like the setting of a Raymond Chandler town, filled with dames to kill for, postmen who like to ring twice, and more monsters than a Scorsese retrospective at the Bijou. We were a town of lost souls, each of us, wrestling with demons, each of us with secrets we were trying to keep. Mine was on the large side, 6'5 to be exact.
"Explain to me one more time," I leaned against my boyfriends shoulder and he glanced uneasily at me. "We drove him to the bus station at gun point and got him on a bus out of town," my dad leaned forward. "He murdered Joaquin. And you thought putting him on a bus was enough punishment? I don't buy it," my dad was right. I don't believe in murder, but it might've been a suitable punishment for what he did to a boy who was just trying to survive. This time I spoke up "Look, we made a decision. I'm sorry that you don't agree with that, but he's gone," forever.
My dad pulled out his handcuffs "I'm gonna pretend like I believe you idiots for now. I've got my hands full with finding Hiram's would-be assassin," he picked up his tan hat and looked at me and Sweet Pea strangely. "Next time you see me, have a better story," as soon as I knew for sure that my dad was gone I got up.
"Idiota, no podrías haber encontrado una historia mejor, por supuesto que no creía was mierda," (Idiot, you couldn't have come up with a better story, of course he didn't believe that crap.) Fangs and Sweet Pea looked at me confused and I plopped down in the chair. "Sorry," I whispered looking down at the table in front of me.
We were covering up the death of a wicked man. But Tallboy Petite wasn't the only fresh corpse in noir town. Claudius Blossom has taken the big sleep, and my brothers girlfriend, Betty Cooper has murder on the brain. And murderers in Betty's world, needed to be brought to justice. Meanwhile, Archie Andrews no longer felt hunted by Hiram Lodge. But he was still haunted. Trapped in that in-between place, avoiding his destined face-to-face to with the man in black, Archie struggled for a sense of purpose.
The only thing Archie knew for sure, was he was angry. And hitting things made it better. With Hiram laid up in the hospital, clinging to life, there was blood in the water. And sharks were closing in on the mobster's daughter, Veronica Lodge and her best friend A.J. Jones.
"From my family to yours," Veronica state quiet staring at the flowers. "While we love a grand gesture Elio, diamonds are a girls best friend," he looked at me in utter disgust causing me to roll my eyes. Veronica sent me a small smirk. "These are for your father. I heard he was still in the hospital, and I wanted to come here, personally" I internally scoffed. "Uninvited," I grumbled under my breath.
"To let you know I'm praying he pulls through," I stood behind the bar watching as Veronica admired the shimmery white roses. "Well to paraphrase Samuel Clemons, reports of his death have been greatly exaggerated," she smirked and Elio did too stepping closer to her. "The Vultures are circling, Veronica. They're eager to swoop on your father's territory," I watched silently as the conversation continued.
"Are you talking about yourself?" I questioned mindlessly wiping down a glass. He rolled his eyes and turned to Veronica. "I'm offering some friendly advise. Jobs like the hit on your father? It's very rare the go unfinished."
Yes, we all had our problems. The town was drowning in 'em. And a hell of a good-looking one was about to walk through Jughead's door.
Veronica wore a veil and a coat when we went to go see Jughead. She let her fist make soft noises as she knocked gently on the door. Veronica strolled in before me, and Jughead stood up. "Nice hat, Bacall," I snorted under my breath. "We got a job, Jug," I told him walking over and sitting on his desk. "I want you two to find out who shot my father," she pulled out a mustard yellow envelope filled with money and threw it down on the desk.
Jughead grabbed it and started to pull out the green paper, "You'll get the other half when you give me their name," Jughead whistled as he looked through the money. "That is a big job. I think half the people in this town wanna see your old man kick the maple barrel, no offense," he placed the envelope back down on the desk.
"None taken. I'll give you you first suspect," Jughead grabbed his notepad and pen. "My mother. A few weeks ago I overheard my parents arguing. It was right before the quarantine. After I had my seizure," suddenly the memory played through my mind. "Hey I remember that," she nodded and kept going. "My mother was berating my father. Something about breaking a promise," Jughead scribbled down notes and looked up at Veronica as her story came to a close.
"What if you don't like what we find?" I smiled softly happy to hear him say we and not I. Even though I wasn't a really a good detective, I was just a long for the ride. "I'm a big girl, I can take it," Jughead's pen clicked as he pressed down on the top of it. "Well, then consider me your Phillip Marlowe," I smirked and stood up "And me your Nancy drew," I added making my brother chuckle softly. Jughead stool out his hand and Veronica took it shaking it up and down.
He didn't mind playing detective, especially for the price, but if he'd known then and there where this investigation would lead us, he probably never would've taken the money.
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"To what do I owe the pleasure," Jughead flipped through his notepad and I stood behind him gripping his shoulders gently. "We'll just get right to it madam mayor," I started before looking down at my brother waiting for him to finish, "Did you shoot your husband?" "Excuse me? I love my husband," the question probably sounded insane to the normal person, but this is Riverdale. Anything can happen. "Uh-huh, but did you shoot him. From what we hear all is not well over at the Pembrooke," she glanced at me before looking at the wall.
"As records and witnesses will attest, I was on the phone with Hiram when he was shot, picking up lunch a Pops," my eyebrows furrowed. Wasn't he shot at night time? "What were you and Hiram arguing about when Veronica and I had our seizures?" I questioned leaning forward over my brothers head.
"Well Mr, and Miss Jones, if you must know we were fighting because I caught Hiram having an affair. I had been suspicious for a while, so I had Sheriff Minetta follow him. This was before he got butchered, of course. And he gave me these," he handed a folder to paper to Jughead. Jughead placed it on the table and pulled it open while I looked through the photos from over his head.
"Now, I don't know who she is, but he was meeting her regularly at the five seasons," Jughead pushes the photo back down in the folded. "Hiram having another woman is pretty good motive to shoot him," i nodded above his head my chin probably hurting the top of his head, but he didn't complain.
"No. It isn't. I simply asked him to end it, and he did. Now I'm telling you two this, because I have nothing to hide," Jughead sighed and looked down one last time. "Keep those. I mean, who knows? Maybe Hiram's mistress was angry when he called a quits. You do know volatile blondes can be," I rolled my eyes at the woman trying to trigger my brother.
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"Sweet Pea, Fangs, why'd you guys bring us down here. You know we're on a case," I sighed and pushed myself down on the rathe uncomfortable seat . "I heard the Gargoyle Gang is riled up. They're looking for Tallboy. And as long as his body's down here, it's a ticking time bomb," I stood up from my seat "Yea well, it's too hot to move him right now," Sweet Pea sighed looking down.
"Hey," Jughead placed his hands on his head, most of the time that meant he was extremely overwhelmed. "Let's not loose our heads, okay? Fangs, I need you to stay here with Tallboy, and I need you to lock this place up. I'm serious," he swirled his finger in the air when he said 'this place' and Fangs nodded.
"Sweet Pea," I looked up surprised. "You need to tail someone for us," Sweet Pea nodded with his hands on his hips.
Jughead was already on his way out of the bunker and I pulled Sweet Pea to the side. "Two days from now, I have something planned. We're doing it okay, all day just me and you," he smirked and nodded before placing a small kiss on my forehead.
"Love you."
"Love you."
"Bye."
"Bye."
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"So who's this blonde bombshell that you two are cracking," I followed after Jughead, and Betty in the five seasons. "Hiram's mistress. He broke things off with her, so she may want revenge. The concierge tipped me off about this floor, but I wish they given me a number," he stopped and looked around. Jughead and I sped up to his girlfriend before she spoke up, "Well, maybe there was no number to give," we stopped by a door with a red symbol right where the number should be and Jughead sighed before knocking on the door.
"Thanks for coming with us, by the way," Jughead nodded and Betty smirked. "My pleasure. My investigations on hold till I hear back from Dr. Curdle Jr. Turns out there was no autopsy on Claudius. Penelope had him cremated before they could perform one. But I'm hoping that there's something in Clifford Blossom's autopsy report. No one's home, let's move on," Betty got ready to leave and I chuckled softly.
"Would boggart move on?"
"Let's just give it a try," he twisted the knob and pushed the door open before sending his girlfriend a surprised smirk. "What kind of hotel room is unlocked? And now apparently there's a-not-so secret sex club in Riverdale," I heard a whip crack and Jughead pulled the curtain to the side. I internally gagged at the sight. "Excuse me," the man ran off and the girl holding the grapes up turned to my brother.
"What is this place?" I questioned awkwardly. "It's the maple club. A safe place as long as you know the safe word," Jughead pulled out the photo from Hermione and held up in front of her face. "Have you seen this woman? She ever come in here?" the woman scoffed "You just scared off one of my clients," Jughead looked at me then Betty before pulling the money Veronica gave us out of his jacket pocket.
He shoved the money into her hands and she bit her lip. "She doesn't work here, but I see her around," Jughead slowly pulled the photo down. "Try room 311," as we were getting ready to walk out a god awful voice filled the room. "Laura, why did Mr. Arklight leave in such a rush," her eyes narrowed in confusion and anger as she glared at my brother, his girlfriend, and I. "What are you three doing here? You know this is a private club. Get out," I stood behind the two letting them be my shield.
"You mean a brothel?" Betty smirked and so did Jughead "Bye the way does the new sheriff know that there's a red light district in Riverdale?" I could why they were finding such amusement in this place, but it made me feel uncomfortable and I wanted to get out, fast.
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"My time is costly, children, so what do you want?" I stood behind the two who were sitting in front of Penelope Blossom's glossy dark wooded desk. "I knew you were an escort, auntie, but now your exploiting other woman?" Penelope chuckled and looked down at the wood. "These women aren't victims, Betty. At the maple club is it the men who suffer," she looked at Jughead and I furrowed my eyebrows confused.
"We specialize in domination. These ladies are making enough to start new lives," I gagged and Penelope rolled her eyes at me. "Oh please, you are only helping yourself." "And why shouldn't I?" The woman stabbed the quill down into its place "No one else ever has. When I was eight years old, I was plucked from the Sisters of Quiet Mercy by the Blossom family," my ears perked up.
"Is that why you poisoned the sisters?" I questioned. "Because they sold you to the Blossoms?" Jughead finished. "I didn't kill those nuns, and anyway it was the so-called Monsignor who sold me, not the sisters," I rolled my eyes "Fine, you didn't kill the fake nuns. Did you kill Claudius?" this time the red headed woman was the one to roll her eyes.
"He committed suicide, so I was told," I scoffed "Its pretty convenient, don't you think?" my brother asked. "Either way, I was right here when the poor man died. Ask any of my girls," after we walked out we were making our way to room 311.
"Fun fact of the day, Penelope's the madam of a kink club," I bit into my lip thinking as I followed them. "Yeah, her sob story doesn't change the fact that's she a stone-cold murderer," Jughead stopped in front of his blonde girlfriend and me. "Do you wanna check out room 311? We could use one of your Bobby pins," almost as if right on time Betty's phone rung.
"It's Curdle. Maybe he tracked down Clifford's autopsy report?" Jughead looked down and I sighed a little disappointed that Betty wouldn't be coming with us. "And just like that your back on the case. No rest for the wicked," she shook her head "Not in a wicked town," they kissed and I pretended to gag "See ya later," I walked over to Jug. "Bye B," I yelled after her as she strutted away.
That's one thing about being a crime boss, you learn to never leave a paper trail. But Hermione Lodge, it seems was out of practice.
And that's when Betty realized, no ones innocent in crime town. Certainly not Hiram Lodge's mystery mistress.
Jughead popped the brief case open and we searched through the papers carefully layered inside. I was reading one of the papers when i noticed Jughead pick something up in the corner of my eye. It was the egg. The egg Cheryl and Toni were exiled for. There glamourge egg. I stared at the thing in awe when Jughead turned to look at it from a different angle.
"What are you doing in my room?" The blonde woman from the pictures that Hermione gave to us held a gun at my brother as she questioned him. He stuck his hand and gave me a look making me wave mine in the air too. "That's a good question," I rolled my eyes. "That's a real good answer too stupid."
"Here's another one. Why's a water inspector carrying a gun?" the gun clicked and I gulped. "We only wanna talk Ms. Mulwray," I told the woman. "Who the hell are you and how do you know my name?" Jughead turned around not letting me answer her. "It's a Glamourge egg, right?" he held in the air "If you shoot me or my sister I'll drop it," his threat didn't sound very good, but it must've to the woman who looked terrified as she slowly pulled her gun-holding hand down.
"You know, I've seen one of these before. Hiram Lodge likes to give them out as gifts, or maybe in your case payment," "And it costs more than you two together will ever make in a lifetime. So put it down, before you break it," Jughead completely defied her before responding, "Based on the things I've found in your room, here's what we know about you."
He sent me a look and I nodded. "You're a health and sanitation inspector. That must pay quite a bit if you can afford a place at the five seasons," Jughead tossed the egg around as words spilled out of my mouth. "Unless Hiram put you up," my brother added. "But I'm no kept woman. I do a job, I get paid for it." I rolled my eyes before continuing "The report says that you weren't sent to investigate Riverdales water supply specifically Sweetwater river and the reservoir. Why?" I questioned.
"Young women in town were having seizures. I was sent in to help," Jughead through the egg in the air barely catching. "Brought in by Hiram," he inquired. "He also make you write that letter to Governor Dooley, advising him to support a town-wide quarantine? You see I'm confused, because the letter says that the water is dirty, but the report says the water is clean. So you either lied to the Governor or you faked that report... or both," she looked agitated as she seemed to ponder what my brother just told her.
"You know what? Break the egg if you want, I don't care. Just get out of my room before I call hotel security and shoot your sister telling the judge it was self defense," I gulped and Jughead grabbed my hand. He rolled his eyes and threw her the egg before walking out of the room with me following.
Why was Hiram faking water test reports? What was he hiding? And what did any of this have to do with who shot him?
The phone rang as I sat across from Jughead at his desk in the blue and gold. He sighed before grabbing it holding next to his ear. "Yeah?" I couldn't hear what the other voice said which was always annoying. He stood up and turned to me "We going on another adventure?"
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I kneeled down next to my boyfriend, and my brother. "Stay down and keep quiet," Sweet Pea instructed. I watched through the window with my Jughead next to me "Is that..." he trailed off and it clicked. "That can't be..." Jughead turned back to Sweet Pea "Sheriff Minetta's alive?" Sweet Pea replied with a curt nod.
"I thought he was decapitated," I whispered "No. From the sounds of it, he and Hermione Lodge having an affair for months," Jughead ears perked "Wait! Listen," we turned back to the window.
"There's to many people asking questions which means our little outstanding problem, you need to take of tonight. I've cleared the decks. And use your old sheriffs gun. Then all signs will pint it to Fp," I gulped as I turned back to Sweet Pea at the same tone as my brothers. "They're talking about framing our dad," his eyebrows furrowed "For What?" I shrugged "We'll have to figure it out and warn him," my brother ran off and sighed following after him.
After months of torment at the hands of the Man in Black, he was trying to bring a Sorry chapter in his life to a close the only way he knew how.
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"Dad we need to talk to you," my dad walked by us "There's something at the hospital," I grabbed his hand "No, you can't go there. It's a set-up. Hermione and Minetta... Dad, he's alive. The two of them plotted together to kill Hiram Lodge," my dads eyes widened surprised. "What," I nodded "Yes. They're going to finish the job tonight and pin it on you," my dad closed the door "Minetta's alive?" I nodded "Dad, there's a lot that you need to know."
"We just got back from the coroners office. We saw Hermione and Minetta up at some secret love shack up north. We heard them talking about setting you up. She's going to try to put Hiram's shooting on you. You need to arrest them," my dad held his face in his palm. "I can't do that," I scoffed "Yeah, you can your the Sheriff. They've clearly been trying to murder Hiram Lodge," my dad stares out of the window.
"No... No, they didn't. I shot Hiram."
"What?" I whisper yelled. "Hermione came to me. She wanted it done, an I... I wanted revenge. Do you two really think I forgot about riot night, when that son of a bitch came this close to getting you two killed? I've been biding my time, waiting for the perfect opportunity," I shook my head not wanting to believe it.
"But if you and Hermione tried to to kill Hiram, why would she appoint you sheriff?" my brother asked. "Payment. It was my payment. And I was naive enough to think that the office of the sheriff would protect me in case Hermione got an itch to double-cross me. Guess i was wrong," Jughead spin around angrily when I got an idea. "Well, I have a guess it's lucky that you have us in your corner," I looks at Jughead and he nodded slowly.
"We have a confession to make, about Tallboy."
Jughead sighed "Maybe there's a way to solve both of our problems, but we'll need Miss Coopers help," I smirked at my brother and father happy to have a plan.
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After we put our plan into action, I was peacefully laying on my bed reading crazy rich Asians when my phone started to sing from the nightstand. I sighed pulling of the charger and placing it on my ear. Before I could greet Reggie his voice cut through the silence "Have you ever seen Bad Boys 2," I nodded slowly but when I realized he couldn't see me I answered "Dude we literally watched it together," his chuckle sounded fake as it played through the phone making me roll my eyes for probably the hundredth time of the day.
"Obviously, I mean duh I was just messing with you," I snorted into my hand "What's up Reg?"
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Veronica pulled out a box of fizzle rocks sand stared at it. "What are you gonna tell your mom and dad?" I yawned and wiped my mouth. I planned to go to sleep, but Reggie rudely interrupted making me rob a bank with him. "I don't know. Maybe the truth... But probably not," she took the box of drug filled candy and tossed it into the burning flames. I mimicked their actions grabbing two boxes and throwing them into the fire.
Meanwhile in case you've forgotten, Betty's encounter with Penelope had shaken her worldview and there was only one person she could talk to about it.
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The next day.
"You two think you're really smart, don't you? You have all the answers," Jughead stare doit the window of the blue and gold with his hands crossed on his chest while I stared at the evil mother of my best friend.
"We know that Hiram's mistress works for the sanitation department and doctored false water reports for your husband," Jughead told her. "I see. Is that all?" I rolled my eyes. Of course not.
"No."
"Not in the slightest, Betty told us about the runoff with the Fizzlerocks manufacturing in the Blossom Maple factory. How it poisoned Sweetwater river, gave everyone seizures, gave my sister seizures. That's why Hiram had to doctors those reports, to cover his ass. It's also why he moved his drug lab to to the prison away from the water supply," he paused and now it was my turn to talk.
"Now, we're guessing that you were pissed about his drug lab and what it was doing to all the girls in the town. Soon after, you hired my father to shoot Hiram Lodge. And when that didn't work, you tried to finish the job in the hospital, with Minetta and a sheriff-issued pistol, so that you could pin it all on my dad. Oh, and we also know why you did it," I breathed out as I finished letting Jughead finish.
"Veronica... you knew that Hiram was responsible for her seizure," a smirk played at her lips. "Very goo, Mr. and Misses Jones. Except your forgetting on thing. Last year, Hiram hired Tallboy to take shots at me during the mayoral debate nearly killing me," I stood up stepping closer to the woman in her coat.
"So, that's what this is about? Revenge? So that you could run off with Minetta and live a happy little life together," she turned to me getting in face. "You can't tell anyone about this. Not Veronica, no one. Because if go down, your father goes down. And that's a promise. So I think," she fixed the collar of Jughead's jacket that I was wearing because I earlier I got cold.
"We should agree to each other's secrets, don't you think?" She walked out of the room and Jughead sent me an hesitant glance.
So Hermione, my sister and I were deadlocked. In a stalemate. Much like Hiram and Archie. And Betty and Penelope. As for Minetta, I didn't imagine there was much more to worry about there. Perhaps in Riverdale, the best you could hope for wasn't to win, but to draw and pray not to lose.
"Working late as usual," Veronica walked in while I had my feet up laying on the desk beside Jughead's typewriter as fingers clicked against the keys. "I assume your here to find you dunnit?" Jughead I smirked pulling my feet over Jughead's prized possession and onto the floor.
"After my father woke up, it was the first thing he asked me. I told him it was Tallboy," I sat up interested "Did he believe you?" I asked. "I think so. If it's good enough for my father, it's good enough for me," she pulled another mustard yellow envelope out of her black purse and held it out for my brother. "Second half of your payment," Jughead stood up and took it out of her hand.
"You don't wanna know who really did it?" my brother questioned. She turned around and her hair flew with her face. She exhaled sharply "Forget it, guys," she paused taking in another shaky breath.
"Its Riverdale."