What was your senior year of high school like? Or rather: what were, or are, your expectations for senior year? Did you want to play the best game of your athletic career before going into academia in the following year? Did you finally gather the courage over the last 3 years to ask out that crush you had since freshman year? Did you spend 3 years of trying to discover who you are, and feeling hopeful and confident you'll be able to find that in your last year? Or maybe you were one of those dorky kids in freshman year who suddenly had a major glow up when you reached your last year, so you're planning to get back at everyone who laughed at you when you asked them to prom?
If you ask me, my expectations over high school went from 100 to 0 came senior year. What I learned is that I expect too much in my life, and I beat myself up every time the plans don't go my way.
So tell you what: this year, I'll let the universe take the reigns, and I'll just ride with the tide.
~
Most of my work nights go like this; disgusting shoe fittings, heavy bowling bowls and four hours of enduring the painful screams of "victory" from overreacting teenagers, or insane middle schoolers who prefer to use their bodies to knock out the pins instead of the actual balls. I admit, it's not a very glamorous part time job, but it helps pass time and you get paid for it.
"Kim!" I jumped at the sound of my own name. "Enough with polishing those balls, I need you to do cover a shift really quickly because someone called off sick tonight."
That would be Claudia, my boss. She's all right, not very harsh but can be super annoying when one of her staff members call in the last minute. I worked with her since I started here, and she has this humiliating big sister quality about her. Now, I'm an only child. You'd think I'll be saved from siblings who are constantly embarrassing me, but that was all until I met Claudia.
I put the balls down on the rack and stuff the rag in my back pocket. "I think I know who that person is." I remarked above all the shouting and the thudding around us.
"We both do," Claudia walks around the counter and waves me over. "I need you on booking and cashier duties. I know it's boring but the bright is, none of the male customers will be looking at your ass all night, or making stupid innuendos about polishing balls."
Both Claudia and I laugh as I log in to the register with my details. "Yeah, its just my boobs now that they'll be looking at." I remarked. Claudia clicks her tongue and teasingly pinches my elbow slightly. I shrieked and jumped away, laughing. "I got it, Claud. Don't worry."
"Oh hi, Kimberly!"
I poked my head up from looking down at the screen and smiled as convincingly my face would allow me. I knew I recognised that shrill voice from somewhere. Right in front of me is one of the sneakiest bitches in town. She looks well innocent and sweet, but little do they know.
"Charlotte... Hi." That didn't sound very genuine, actually. "Sorry, Ryan's not around at the moment." Why would he be? He doesn't work here anymore.
She lets out this annoying fake laughter as she flips her ridiculously gorgeous hair out of her face. "Why would I be here for Ryan, Kimberly?" She asks me, batting her eyes at me.
"Charlotte, I know you're screwing Ryan. You're not exactly being discreet." I remind her. With that, Charlotte didn't seem very affected by that comment. In fact, it makes her even cockier, I think.
"You're one to talk about discreetness, Kim." She winks at me before leaning over the counter. "You remember, I'm sure."
I pursed my lips and dropped my head, trying to hide the fact that I could burst out laughing at any moment now. Im not even sure if Charlotte is threatening me now or making me laugh. "Is it my secret, really, or is it more of yours?" I ask her. Charlotte takes a step back, knowing I've hit a tender spot. The only way to get Charlotte off your back is pretend you don't give a single damn. To be fair, that's what you do to most bitches.
If that was the case, it really contradicts with her sneaky smile right now. "Please get me a lane, Kimberly."
I scoffed and simply ignored her last comment before quickly booking her a lane. Honestly, I just want her as far away as possible which is why I booked her the last lane down. I hand her her slip, a fake smile planted on my face. "Stay away from me, Charlotte." I say firmly.
Charlotte simply smiles at me before singing, "Good byeee" in a cheery tone.
I watch her waltz over to the end of the room, her hair bouncing back and forth from her left to right shoulder. Every time she passes a booth, she greets and waves at someone with an overly optimistic smile. Mostly those are people from our school, underclassmen mostly because, of course, Charlotte is already making herself known to the entire campus— entire town, actually.
As I shake my head to take my attention away from Charlotte's parade, someone else new walks towards the counter. Here's an image; she has a jet black hair with blue tips tied in the messiest bun you can imagine, dark circles prominent under her eyes and she's carrying an old tattered canvas bag with the sourest look on her face. Now that's the image of a girl whose just gotten out of a busy shift. That girl, boy, I've known her since we were twelve.
The day I first saw Kennedy was on a winter afternoon. Not like it was the most climactic of meetings but it was the afternoon when I was walking my neighbor's dog to the end of the street. And at the end of the street, there was this dingy old building that holds 10 minuscule studio apartments. And for most years, that building seemed unoccupied. But that afternoon, I saw a moving truck and a little raven-haired girl carrying boxes even bigger than her. We just shared a smile that day and we caught each other walking to school the next morning.
Over the year, we just grew really good friends. Kennedy began staying over my place for 2 nights a week. We claimed we were doing homework but in fact, we were binge watching Harry Potter movies or America's Next Top Model, and Kennedy telling me about her life when she was living in the city, plus the reason why they moved here. Apparently, the company where her parents worked at was sued for money laundering. When the company was found guilty, all the employees lost their jobs, Kennedy's family lost their home, her parents were jobless and they had to leave the city. It's only a year ago when Kennedy's family managed to move out of the dingy old building and into a more comfortable place around the town centre.
In my opinion, their place is the best place to be in on Friday night.
"Kim, tell me what she's doing here." Kennedy nods in Charlotte's direction, a not so pleasant look on her face.
Scoffing, I shrugged my shoulders and leaned forward on the counter. "I tried to get rid of her but Im not security. You can't turn away a paying customer," I say only to receive an eye roll from Kennedy. I chuckled and peeked over her shoulder. A few people have started entering the alley. "I get out in a few minutes. Wait for me by the booths."
It was getting pretty late but the number of people who came in the Alley didn't lessen at all. In fact, in the passed 10 minutes, Ive already accumulated enough for a waitlist. The good thing is before the waitlist got too long and have me end up with complaining customers, it was time for me to check out. By this time, the drunks start rolling in and I didn't want to be there when they do.
~
"There's just something about Charlotte that really irks me." Kennedy complained for the 10th time since we left the Alley. We were both walking around the town centre for a while before chilling at a food booth with the crowd. It's the last night of summer and in the town centre, the town held a small art festival. Kennedy and I went out tonight because tonight is our last night. Tomorrow; we're seniors. Isn't that scary?
"What do you expect from Charlotte?" i ask her through the roaring music. "The lady is practically deprived from any type of freedom. She's suffocating under her parents' expectations and its about time she'll crack." I tell her.
A not so distant memory started rolling in my head. Only 7 words to describe it; the first five godforsaken days of the summer pre-junior year. Where else would the location but the town's bowling alley, starring two very different people.
"I was talking about her familiarity with Ryan." Kennedy speaks up, completely breaking me free from my own thoughts. She slaps my arm, making me jerk. "You know what she was up to when Ryan was still in school with us!"
"Kennedy, he wasn't even your boyfriend then!" I remind her only to receive a scowl from my best friend.
"We went on a date!" She implies but thats just her trying to comfort herself from the facts!
"That was a first date!" I sneered at her. Kennedy rolls her eyes at me, a clear sign that she's going to brush me off again. "Mind you, he was two-timing you and Charlotte at the time."
"But I won." She interjected confidently. "Ryan chose me and that's why Charlotte needs to lay off. The way you date people is completely different from how I do it. End of conversation." She shrugs her shoulders, clearly brushing me off now. Well, end of conversation is the end of a conversation. "You want to look around?" Kennedy asks me.
I shrugged my shoulders, pushing myself off the chair. I nodded, Kennedy leading the way around the festival. There are usually tons of stuff to see here but this year they have obviously toned it down. This year, it's mostly just food and music to "promote town culture" as opposed to the more vibrant artistic display of last year, organized by our high school. At this moment, Kennedy and I only have one booth in mind.
And that is the home of the best cheesecakes in town.
In a town where everybody knows everybody, Mae Holliday became the talk of everyone; the curious woman who moved in town one morning, passing out free cheesecake samples in the square. Before we know it, she's the most successful baker in town, already having a branch in the city.
It's funny because the older generations loved to gossip nonsense about Mae Holliday; saying stuff like she's the adopted daughter of the town's mayor, or an illegitimate child of the town's richest man? I wouldn't know because that was years ago and I was only like 3 at that time. First time I ate at her bakery, I was 3 and the bakery has been around for a while already. All I know is her cakes and pastries are the best!
And Kennedy and i are her #1 customers!
Normally every Friday night we'd stay at Mae's bakery. Nothing special, just have coffee and chat with her after store hours before going home.
As Kennedy and I walked over to her booth, Mae instantly smiled at us. She's a sweet woman but awfully misunderstood. She's incredibly elegant but simple, at the same time very warm and welcoming. You would think she's the sweetest mom in the whole world but in fact, she's an unmarried woman with no children.
"I was expecting you both." She beams, leaning on her table.
In her small booth, she's got her pastries displayed on an elaborate cupcake stand beside the cashier. Her whole booth is coated in pastel colors and lovely floral designs. She brought everything so wonderful and comforting from her actual cafe to her booth .
"We wouldn't miss this for anything!" Kennedy beams just as Mae brings out two pieces of her iconic Pistachio cupcakes. Just the sight of the lovely muted pastel green icing on the fluffy cake was enough to make my mouth water. What makes these cupcakes so special is that Mae tops them off with creamy mini macaroons and in the centre of the cake, a heavenly burst of vanilla cream just explodes in your mouth. Same goes for Kennedy. "If heaven was a cupcake, this would be it."
"Everyone was asking for it this afternoon.Thats why I thought I should at least save some for my two best customers." Mae remarked just as Kennedy starts devouring her share of the cupcake. Mae grins at Kennedy before turning to me. "Are you ready for your senior year, Kimmy?"
I can't help but laugh at the thought of senior year. "I wish I could say 'Yes' but..." i shrugged my shoulders. Mae immediately got the message and she just flashed me a comforting smile. "Senior year, not so much but it's the applying for college that's freaking me out. I have no idea where Im going, Mae, honestly." I passed it off with a laugh but deep inside, Im terrified and so damn lost at the moment.
"That college in New York!" Both Mae and i turned to Kennedy when she spats out. My eyes widen at the sight of my friend; frosting coating her whole lip. Not even a 'got milk' commercial could top it off.
"Umm, thats a college I doubt I'll ever get close to applying— can you wipe your mouth? You look like a two year old, Ken." I tell her and she doesn't waste a time before she does. I turn back to Mae, completely ignoring my delirious friend. "Anyway, I heard New York is... terrifying. My parents would never let me leave to live there."
"Well, I doubt there's a city that's entirely safe in the United States." Mae remarks, grinning at me. "You just have to be on the look out yourself, and soon enough, you will have to leave Old Town eventually. You're very talented, Kim. And this Town is not very kind to talents like yours." She tells me with a certain calmness in her voice. She must've read the doubt on my face because she laughs at me. "You don't look very convinced."
"Not exactly, to be completely honest." I admit, laughing as i feel slightly embarrassed. "It's very confusing for me, Mae. Nothing really happens in Old Town and I want to leave to see if something is out there for me... but I'm scared that I might not find what I'm looking for."
At the top of my head, I know exactly where I want to be in the short run. That is simply to go to college and get my degree but the downside is I have no idea where I can fulfil that. I had my eyes on the Film Academy since I was 10. My dad made me join various sports and academic programs but none of those stood out and maybe felt as fulfilled as i was when I was creating creative content. Of course, my dad, being who he is, thought it's almost as fulfilling as being a homeless person.
"Well, you know sometimes when you feel like you're missing something, you overlook what's exactly in front of you." Mae says. "What are you exactly looking for, Kim?"
I scoffed, getting a bit overwhelmed as usual. It just occurred to me and it hit me like a train. "I'm not exactly sure, but, as much as I love this place, I know I won't find it here." I gesture to the town square.
Mae smiles at me, Kennedy looks at me with wide eyes like she's anticipating what I'm about to say. "I don't know, dear," She says in a song-song voice. "I lived in the country's biggest cities, even in Europe, but what I wanted was in this little town all along." She gestures a her selection of glorious cupcakes, and I can't help but smile. "I mean, I traveled around the world in search of a man, but I ended up buying an empty business lot in Illinois." She laughs. "And I'm really happy I did. Fate works in strange, unconventional ways. You just need to trust it."
"Wow." Was the only word I can find to respond to that. "I'm speechless"
Mae chuckles and shakes her head. "im Sorry if I got in your head, Kim, but that's just me speaking from experience."
"My Kimmy is a little inexperienced after a certain someone broke her heart and needs all the knowledge she can get," I doubled over when Kennedy slams her entire weight on my shoulders. "And Some happiness too. Mae, you have nieces and nephews don't you? Can we set one of them up with Kim? I think this is why she's such a pessimist; she needs a little loving in her life."
I scoffed and push her away. "Okay, we are not going there." I look at Mae, my face tinted with embarrassment. "No— no, don't believe anything she says." Mae looks confused too but there's a smile on her face that I have no idea what it's for. It's slightly threatening, and worrying. "You are completely off-topic, Kennedy." I scold her but she just shrugs her shoulders dismissively.
She turns to Mae again, and my heart starts to pound. She's going to embarrass me again! "But you do, don't you?"
Mae laughs and shakes her head, bursting Kennedy's bubble. "I have one nephew who's engaged, and a niece, but I don't think Kim wants a girl: she wants a man."
Oh boy. I force a smile and feel my whole body tense up. "Yeah, of course." I muttered aimlessly, feeling my palm sweat.
"Yeah, that has to be the explanation why you're still single." Kennedy retorts sarcastically, getting herself a glare from me. "Not like you're hung up over someone."
"I don't have to remind you a thousand times that you don't need to worry about whether I'm dating someone or not, Ken." I tell her, rolling my eyes.
Even I don't understand why Kennedy made it her life's mission to find me a date when she's already so occupied with her boyfriend. I then turn to Mae, who looks confused as a cat. "Sorry. I just don't want a relationship right now." Or ever.
"I hear someone say that too many times."
Glancing over at Kennedy, I can tell we're on the same page. i chuckled nervously, turning back to our.... friend? "Im sorry, have we met before?" I ask her.
From there, I heard Mae laugh. "People around here don't like it when you creep on them, my dear." Mae says. "And it's been years, I doubt Kim remembers you."
What now? I might've looked like a total idiot, staring at the strangely foreign face in front of us. It was like putting few puzzle pieces together only to find out some pieces are from another image. Mae is speaking like I've already met this girl but, as far as I can remember, this is the first time I've seen her face.
"Jacky. I'm Mae's niece." Oh. Her niece. As if we weren't just talking about her indirectly 30 seconds ago. The name did click in my brain— "You remember now, don't you?" —and it's completely gone. "Well, this is awkward." She laughs nervously.
"Barely." I muttered, still probably giving Jacky such a strange look. The name clicked but I can barely remember what "Jacky" used to be like when we first met. That is if we did meet before now.
Then again, I'm that person who can barely remember anyone's names.
Kennedy scoffs, slapping the back of my head to snap me out of my trance. "Her memory's terrible." She comments. I glared at her but I was humiliatingly ignored. "She couldn't remember my birthday, or my surname, in the first 2 years of our friendship. I'm Kennedy by the way."
Jacky laughs, acknowledging Kennedy as she takes a step closer to us. Everyone else seems rather comfortable but me. Who is this girl? She looks like she just stepped out of a magazine. "I just moved here today so..." She chuckles. "And my aunt warned me about how this town is with new faces..."
"Yeah, I get that vibe..." Until now I'm still trying to figure this girl out. No luck at all. "Actually, I'll just... leave. It's late and Ken, you know how my parents are so... I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked Kennedy but even as I turned away from this girl, I can feel her eyes burrowing on me. I actually just wanted to flee this awkward situation.
"If you're not late." Kennedy remarks, making Mae laugh.
I snickered as I cautiously stepped away from the booth. "Funny." I say making a face at Kennedy. I looked at from Mae then to this Jacky girl, "Thank you, Mae, and, uh, nice to meet you?" There's so much hesitation because honestly i don't know what to say to this stranger at the moment.
She waves me at me casually, making me even more curious. She's acting like she really knows me and it's freaky to say the least. I returned her casual wave with a very obvious awkward wave. I caught a glimpse of Kennedy's snickering face before I turned around.
And then I fled with the name "Jacky" banging on the corners of my brain.