Thanks for your patience! I hope this chapter is great for you. I hope I did it justice and I hope you love it. As always message, comment, reblog but let me know what you think!
I was lying back in my seat with the back reclined. I was just beginning to drift off to sleep when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I opened my left eye and glanced at the flight attendant who had something in her hands. She flashed me an apologetic smile. "Excuse me? Ms. Jones?" She asked me. I opened both eyes and nodded. "Breckyn Jones?" She asked once more. I suppose Jones is a popular last name.
"Yes. That's me." I said as I brought the chair back to its inclined position. She held up a pair of headphones and handed them to me. "I'm sorry for waking you, but these are for you." I grabbed the headphones and she gestured to the movie screen in the back of the headrest in front of me. I shook my head and attempted to hand the headset back. "Oh, no. I think you're mistaken. I'm not really that into watching the in-flight movies. They are always..." I tried to find the right words to make it seem less harsh, but there really was no other way to describe them. "-horrible and cheesy."
The young woman nodded knowingly. "I know. They are. I'm not challenging you on that but I am under strict orders to have you watch it. I have to at least try to persuade you." She pushed the headphones back towards me and leaned forward. "Besides, I think this in flight movie is one you will enjoy. It's not.... too cheesy. It's just right. In my opinion anyway." I sighed and put the headphones on. "Fine." I looked at her name tag. "Lindsay, What movie is it?" I picked up the guide in front of me out of the slot in the chair and opened it. I scoffed and threw my head back. "Taxi. Perfect." I shook my head as I adjust the headphones so they fit my head better.
Lindsay shook her head and lightly touched my hand. "Not quite. Taxi is what everyone else is watching" She looked around her. "Which, most people have either seemed to give up on it or have fallen asleep." She turned back towards me. "You, on the other hand, will be watching something else. Call it a private viewing. It still has Mr. Fallon in it, though, so there's that." I put the guide back on the tray in front of me.
"Well, I've already seen Fever Pitch and Whip It a million times. I really don't need to watch the in-flight movie, but thank you for trying." I reached up to take off the headphones when she lightly put her hand on my shoulder. "Just.... Watch it. You wont be disappointed." She smiled sweetly at me and I put the headphones back in place and turned the monitor on. She walked a few rows up and checked on the other passengers. I shook my head and waited for the movie to turn on. At least I'll get to finally watch A Year of Getting to Know Us, I thought to myself before the movie started.
The screen went from black to a scene showing a house in the background in the pouring rain. I sat up further in my seat and turned the headphones up. That house looked oddly familiar. Maybe I have seen this movie before. Then I noticed the tree with the split down the middle from a lightning storm. There was a tire swing hanging off the strongest branch and the front door was an old red Victorian looking door.
Huh. That's weird. That almost looks like my old house. I thought to myself leaning forward while the camera panned to the driveway as a truck pulled down the drive. I smiled to myself. It almost looked like my truck I had back home. That's when I noticed the license plate. Missouri. "Wait a sec.." I whispered to myself. I didn't have time to react before the drivers door opened and a tall, brunette jumped out and walked towards the camera. He was wearing the black and green plaid and khakis. I looked around to make sure no one was watching the same thing I was. All the other monitors were either playing Taxi or turned completely off. I turned my attention back to the man walking towards the camera. He lightly jogged in the rain and stood in front of the lens. He bent over and shook the water out of his hair and ran his fingers through his quaff. "No way." I whispered to myself as he slowly looked up at the camera.
"Hey beautiful." He said as he flashed his million watt grin at the camera. He closed one eye as the rain drops fell into it. "You're uh...." He looked around and huffed a breath out in a tiny laugh. "You're probably wondering why I'm standing out here in the pouring rain by myself in front of your old house. First of all, do you know how long I've been waiting for it to rain? I planned this entire hiatus around the weather in Missouri and every day it was supposed to rain.. it didn't. When it finally did decide to rain, you were at home and I couldn't get out to do this. Which brings me to my next point, I don't have much time to do this video because right now you are currently on..." He brought his left arm up and looked at his watch. "Hour two of shopping for maternity clothes right now, which means you are probably getting sick and tired of walking around while Drew is dragging you through every single store so I have to do this quick."
I thought about what he was talking about. Shopping for maternity clothes? We only did that once and it was when that cashier accused me of getting pregnant on purpose to trap Jimmy. But, there's no way this could be from that long ago, could it? Jimmy moved in front of the camera and the top part of his button up fell open. I immediately noticed it. His chest was perfect, toned, and tan. It only scarred with the rain water washing over his unblemished skin and that's when I realized just how long he has been planning... whatever this is. His voice turned my attention back to the screen.
"So, I know this place holds some pretty bad moments for you. Awful, life altering moments. I've always said, time and time again, that life is about moments. Your life, my life, our life together is not any different. I'm not going to spend the next 15 minutes reminding you of your past because you don't need those. I'm sure you fight those reminders daily yourself. My job is not to help you relive those moments. My job is to help you create our own moments. Moments that will make the pain of your past disappear. For me, this place is chock full of good moments. You just have to search for them."
Jimmy turned and walked towards the house. He made it about three steps before turning back around and motioning to the camera. "Come on." He said as he walked up to the doorway. He opened the door and looked back and smiled. "Top five favorite moment. Easily. My mother told me when I was a little younger than I am now that I would know when I found the one because life as I knew it would end. Since then, people have asked me the moment I knew I was in love with you, and I cant answer that because.. I dont even know. There was this moment where I can pinpoint thinking "Yeah, I love her. I'm in love with her" but I dont think that can be called THE moment because it wasnt a surprise to me that I felt it. It was like my heart already knew. I dont remember when you became so important to me. It's like..."
Jimmy stopped and took in the rain. He looked up at the sky and I could see him breathe a little easier. He let out a content sigh. One of my favorite sounds of his and he looked back into the lens. "- its like a thunderstorm. You see the rain falling and you dont even realize how its all adding up. All you hear is the sound around you, the electricity from the lightning and the way the rain makes you feel. Then all of a sudden you're soaking wet, just like I am right now. You dont quite know how it happened so quickly. One minute you were perfectly fine and then before you know it, you're completely submersed and you dont know how or why this came to be. Well, the sound of my heart beating inside my chest when I see you walk into the room is my thunder, the electricity your touch sends through my body is my lightning, and the way you make me feel just knowing you is my rain. And all of a sudden I'm enamored. One minute I was perfectly fine, or at least pretending to be and then you came along. Before I knew it.. I was completely and utterly in love and I dont know how or why that came to be but I'm sure as shit ecstatic that it happened, Brecks. I wouldnt change this life for any others."
He turned back around and looked in the doorway. He let out a laughing sigh. "No matter what. I dont care if I had to alter my entire history, I would still come here, stand in the rain, and wait for you to notice me. All over again."
Jimmy moved real close to the camera and lowered his voice. "And do you remember? When we almost...." He looked up at whoever was behind the camera and wiggled his eyebrows. "Well, you know what we almost did. We were soaked, our clothes plastered to our bodies, nothing coming between our lips except for the rain and the sound of my name on your lips. I swear to you, I wanted you in that doorway before you even turned around, but the way you said my name? I would've taken you right then and there."
"Dude!" I heard Jakers distinct voice from behind the camera. The camera moved to the side and I saw Jake's arm shove Jimmy back, sending him into a giggle fit. "It's not funy! That's my sister! I don't need to hear about you two and your sexual exploits!" Jimmy backed up and pointed at him. "Oh come on! I'm giving you a nephew! You love me!" The camera shook and I'm assuming Jake was shaking his head in disgust. "I prefer to think he is being delivered via stork or immaculate conception. My sister does not have sex." I saw Jimmy's eyes shift in color. Oh god. He was going to say something dirty. I could just tell.
"Well, if it weren't for you, we would have made him a lot earlier. Its your fault we didn't do it then. Had you not showed up he would be here, probably walking and talking." He started backing up as the camera went down to the ground. "Your sister has sex quite often. She cant get enough of me!!" Jimmy said as I saw Jake take off after him through the yard. Jimmy booked it but Jake is pretty fast for a big guy. I started laughing my ass off when Jake tackled him and I heard Jimmy start coughing.
"Jeez, you're a big guy! You're heavy! Get off!" I heard Jimmy wheeze under Jakes weight. "What's the matter, funny guy? You cant get out of a full nelson?" Jake said as he wrestled Jimmy around on the ground. "You're so light. This is too easy." He sat on Jimmy and held him there for a while. "Let me up." I heard Jimmy mumble. "What was that, Jimmy? Couldn't quite hear you." Jake held his hand to his ear, while Jimmy struggled to get out from under Jake. "Let me up!" he yelled at him. "Are you gonna stop talking about having sex with my sister?" Jimmy was silent. "Huh? Are you? Because the next time I hear you talking about sex with Breckyn, I'm not letting you up so easily." I heard a muffled sound and Jake started laughing. Jimmy stood up and pushed Jake. "You knocked the air out of me, you ass!" Jimmy was covered in mud on the left side of his body. He tried dusting himself off, but it was no use. He was covered. He glanced at his watch. "Shit. She's gonna be home soon. We gotta go so I can shower and talk to your dad." Wait. What? Talk to my dad? What did he talk to my dad about?
I was trying to figure it out when Jimmy ran up to the camera and picked it up, holding it in front of his face. "If you haven't figured it out yet...." He turned the camera towards the house beside him and gave me a muddy smile. Even covered in mud he was stunning. "This..." he said out of breath. "Is your next clue."
With that the screen went black and I sat there for a moment laughing to myself. I don't know what I would do without this man in my life. How I made it 30 years without him, I have no clue but I was certain that there was no way I could ever live without him after experiencing what its like to have James in my life. I used to be afraid to be anywhere except for home, where everything was familiar. It wasn't until I was forced out of my comfort zone of home that I truly realized what the rest of the world had to offer and just how strong I truly was.
I always knew that Jimmy and I were from two completely different worlds. Jimmy is a classic fine dining, open minded, smooth and chic city man while I was your typical corn-fed, god fearing, barefoot blue jean wearing country girl. I always thought in the back of my mind that these two completely different worlds would collide and eventually blow up in our faces. I could never fit in with his lifestyle or he with mine but looking back now, somewhere our two worlds meshed together to make a world where both of us could thrive. Jimmy and I had created a middle ground and somehow, some way, it just works. I realized now as I thought to myself, that home isn't where you lay your head. Home is where your heart is. I smiled to myself as I looked out the window and saw the familiar lights of the Kansas City skyline. I know now that I will always have two places to call home. Here in Missouri and of course, in New York but it wasn't until today that I ultimately realized that I would always have a home as long as I had Jimmy. Home is wherever Jimmy is.
The plane landed with a soft thud and coasted down the runway towards the airport. I quickly made my way out of the plane and down the terminal. I didn't know who I was looking for but somehow I knew that there would be someone waiting for me. I stood on my tippy toes and searched through the sea of people for a familiar face. Finally, my eyes locked with a similar blue-green hue I was used to. I let out a huge laugh of happiness and relief when I saw Jake towering over the crowd. I took off running towards him and he held the sign up, laughing at me. I stopped in front of him and grabbed the sign.
"Seriously? 'Ms. Jones?' I'm your sister." I tried to give him my best unimpressed look. Jake saw right through it and took a pink rose out from behind his back. "Take your damn rose." He held it out for me and let his classic smile slowly spread across his face. He picked me up and spun me. "Welcome home, sis. I've missed you guys so much!" He spun around two or three times before setting me down. I closed my eyes and kept a hold of his arm to balance myself from the spinning making me dizzy. I took a moment and then opened my eyes. "Thanks, Jakers. I got to tell ya though. It doesn't really feel like home much anymore. I haven't been here since.." I started, letting the memory of the shooting slip back into my mind and the pain from that day began to come flooding back. I closed my eyes and suddenly I could see Jimmy lying below me, blood pooling under his body and the god awful sound of that flatline echoed in my ears.
Suddenly Jake shook me out of that horrible flashback. "Hey. Stop it. Don't go there. You're here now and everyone is happy and healthy. Let's get you out of here." He bent down and grabbed my luggage. How did he already have that? I looked up at him confused and he shrugged. "Jimmy." He simply put, answering the question I never asked aloud. "Are you hungry?" He asked as he put his arm around me and led me down the terminal.
"I'm starving. I ate breakfast about..." I looked over at Jake's watch on his arm. It was 3 o clock. "Wow. Six hours ago. I really only got one slice of pizza so it wasnt much. Jimmy's been making me run around all day. I didnt even know I was coming home! Obviously you knew, right? I mean you're here and with a rose so you're part of this. What is happening and whats with the roses? I never told Jimmy they are my favorite so how could he possibly know?" I asked as we made our way out the doors and over to Jake's black pickup truck.
Jake tossed my bags in the back and shut the truck bed canopy. "Of course, I knew, Brecks. I've known for quite a while now. It's the longest secret I've kept in some time. I'm pretty proud of myself and if you only knew just how long I've known you'd be proud of me too not just him. I mean, you watched the video right?" He walked around and opened my door for me, helping me into the truck, which was weird, even for him. That was very Jimmy-esque of him. "Watch your arm." He said as he closed the door and walked around the front, hopping in. "I had to sit through a freaking rain storm and watch him pour his heart out to you." He turned the ignition and started the truck, letting it idle. "Pun intended and before you say anything, I'm NOT telling you this. Also, if you think you have to tell Jimmy anything about you for him to absolutely know it... then you obviously don't know him that well. He knows things about you that I don't know. I just have one question though?" Jake put the truck in drive and took off.
I put my seatbelt on and reached for the radio dial. Jake smacked my hand. "Nuh uh. No. Driver picks and shotgun shuts their cakehole. You know the rules. Besides, I'm not listening to your fruity ass music anymore than I have to." I put my hands up and Jake turned the radio down. "Fine. Jeez. Someone is touchy about their radio. Gosh...." Jake shook his head and started chuckling. I turned towards him. "Anyways, you know you can ask me anything Jakers. What's on your mind?" Jake looked over at me and raised his eyebrows.
"What is up with you two and the rain?? I tried to ask Jimmy about it but he was just really cryptic with his answer and then he just shook his head and said that one of these days I would understand it." I was humored by his question. I'm actually quite shocked that neither Jimmy nor I have discussed that with each other. I looked out the window at the sky. It seemed like it may rain today. To be honest, I wouldn't mind if it did. I sighed before answering Jake.
"I don't know, Jakers. Its kind of hard to explain." I stopped and thought about it for a moment. I wasn't sure what I was going to say so I just decided to let my heart speak for itself. "Okay, do you have anything in life that you just... love? I don't mean like a person or anything like that. I just mean something in general." Jake looked confused for a second as he watched the road. It took him a moment to respond to me. "Like what?" he asked finally after a moment or two of silence.
"Okay, well ever since I was little, I've always loved the rain and thunderstorms. Mostly, because I think its because mom loves them." Jake nodded at me. "They make her calm down and they just have the same effect on me. I love rain and everything about it. Its refreshing, rejuvenating. It washes everything away and you can start fresh. I find peace in the rain. It helps me think. It clears my mind. I could sit, kiss, or dance in the rain for hours on end and feel perfectly content. I've always loved rain. Its one of my favorite things." I leaned against the window of the truck and let the coolness rest against my skin. "Well, as it turns out, rain does the same for Jimmy. It relaxes him. He isn't so... jittery when its raining. He slows down. He enjoys things more. He cuddles, he snuggles, he just... I know its stupid and makes no sense.. but when it rains.. He's just... Jimmy. He's not JIMMY. He is himself and not this... not the guy you see on tv. I know its confusing right now to you but when you can share something that you love with someone you love like that.... that is intimacy on a whole other level."
Jake nodded. "You know what's weird? Jimmy said something similar to that. I thought he was being cryptic with his answer but now that I heard yours, I think I understand it." Then, as quickly as he started the conversation he tried to end it by reaching over for the volume knob. I stopped his hand before he touched it. "Hey, Brecks. I thought you knew the rules" He pointed at himself. "Driver." He pointed at me. "Shotgun." He put his finger on my lips. "Cakehole. I get to choose. I know you New Yorkers like to do things differently in those big city lights, but you're back in Podunk now. My truck. My rules."
I just shook him off. "No. Not that. Understand what? What did Jimmy say?" I asked quietly. Jake just stared into my eyes for a moment before turning to the road. "No. I can't say. That's Jimmy's personal feelings. If anything.. he should be the one telling you, its not my place to say." He kept shaking his head. That's when I put my hand on his shoulder and then started batting my eyes. "I appreciate that, but I'm asking you... no.. actually I'm BEGGING you to tell me. Besides, if you don't tell me, I'll start telling you about sex with him. Don't make me do it! I saw how it made you squirm in the video and he didn't even go into details." I threatened. I saw Jake dry heave and then he sighed at me. "Fine, BUT I never told you this and I swear to God if you tell him I did..." I waved him off and held up two fingers. "Scouts honor." Jake scoffed and held up my ring finger. "It's three fingers, Brecks. You know that. I was a boy scout." I hung my head a let out a soft laugh. "No, I know that. It's just something J does. Just ignore me. You were saying?" Jake took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. "He said 'She is passionate about the rain and I am passionate about the way she loves it. Its that way with everything about her. About us. It's pretty safe to say that if I didn't have Breckyn, then there would be no fire in me at all.' Or something girly like that. I don't know. I'm not the best with speeches."
I was honestly shocked at that. I mean, I expected something mushy and romantic but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine he would say that about me. I looked out the window, the sky was graying and the clouds were rolling in. I watched the green fields flying by on the road as we got closer to our hometown. After about five or so minutes of awkward silence I finally asked. "He..." I started, almost too scared to ask the question. If it hadn't been for Jake turning towards me and prodding me until I continued, I would have let it go. "He really said that?" I finally croaked out.
"Yes. Of course he did. He's crazy about you, you know that right? I would never lie to you about that, either. You're my sister. I don't lie to you. Never have. Never will. But you do need to know that Jimmy loves you. More than you know. Someday I hope Lexi and I are like you two." Jake added nonchalantly, turning down main street, quickly.
"Lexi? Who is Lexi?" I asked. I saw Jake's cheeks flush and he started stammering. "How about we get you some food?!" he asked, turning to me and shaking my shoulder. "I bet my big sister is starving." I smiled at him and let it go for the moment. I would get to the bottom of this some time. I'll probably wait to do it when Jimmy is with me. He has the gift of getting information out of people with relative ease. I know because he does it to me all the time. "Alright. I'll bite. Where are we eating? Home?"
Jake smiled as he drove past our turn off. "Not quite. I'm under special orders to take you to a place that is special to you and Jimmy." I just scoffed and leaned back in the seat, resigned to the fact that I was powerless to Jimmy's plan today. "Of course you are. Why did I expect anything different? Where are we going then?"
____
"Waffle House?!" I said as Jake pulled into a parking stall in front of the restaurant. "Why the hell are we at a Waffle House? How is this special to Jimmy and me? We ate here once and it wasn't even in the same state." Jake turned off the truck and walked around to my side and walked me up to the door and guided me to a table. "Hey, don't ask me. I don't make the rules. I'm just doing what I was told to do which was to get your fed, make sure you don't eat butter. and take you to your house." I looked up from the menu at him and he bit his lip. "Its not my house anymore, Jake. Someone bought that a long time ago."
Jake looked back at his menu and skimmed it. "I know. I forget the sometimes. I just miss you being around is all. I wish it was still yours, is all. It would be nice to have my nephew around to play with." I reached forward and grabbed his hand. "Don't you worry, Jakers, Thomas is going to grow up knowing who his uncle is. We will come to visit whenever we possibly can and you are more than welcome to come to New York whenever you want, Jake. You know Jimmy and I wont turn you down. We have plenty of space for you. Seriously, anytime you want." Jake nodded and the waitress came to take our order.
The rest of the meal was spent with me showing Jake pictures and videos of Thomas and Winnie. Jake opened up to me about Lexi, his new girlfriend. They have been dating about six months. Jake told me he was starting to feel like maybe Lexi was someone he could really get serious with. As I watched his face light up as he was talking about her, I couldn't help but see a little of myself in him. We really were alike. When we fall, we fall hard. There's no doubt about it. It must be a Jones thing.
"Well" Jake said looking at his watch. It's getting about that time. We got to get going." He stood up and grabbed the check, walking towards the cash register. I walked in front of him and pulled out two twenties from my wallet. He looked down at me and shoved my money back in my wallet. "Hey, what are you doing?" He said, trying to keep me from reaching around him with the money. The cashier was laughing at us at this point, as Jake reached back and put his hand on my forehead, keeping me at an arms length. "I'm TRYING to pay for our food! Let me do this! I know you don't have a whole lot of money!" I hollered at him. Jake turned around and showed me the black Capital One card. Jake bent down and whispered in my ear. "I'm not paying for this. Your man is. Calm down." I leaned back and squinted. Sure enough, he did have Jimmy's card in his hand. Okay, now I was confused. "Wait, he gave you his card? He trusts you with his card? So, that means he's here?" I looked around the restaurant as Jake turned back around and paid. Jake grabbed the receipt and stuffed in his pocket. "Maybe he is. Maybe he isn't. I guess you'll just have to wait and see. Now, lets go. I gotta get you to that house, and soon." Jake said as he helped me in the truck and took off down the road like a bat out of hell.
___
We pulled down the long, familiar driveway of my old house. It looked much different from the last time I had seen it. It even differed from the video Jimmy was in. Where a white house with blue trim once stood, a dark brown house with charcoal shutters now resided. Had it not been for the red door, I wouldn't have recognized it at all. The house also increased in square footage. It went from a two bedroom when I had it to what looked to be three or four. My favorite part was off of the wall to the master bedroom which now opened into beautiful French doors, leading into the bedroom.
The house had gone through a major remodel but that wasn't the only change I saw. There was an old rustic swing set off in the side yard next to the tree with the tire swing. A barn had been built in the back acreage as well as a white picket fence. The driveway was lined with river rock and railroad ties as well as tiny lanterns that cascaded further up the walkway towards entryways. I let out a low whistle as I jumped out of the truck. "Wow, Jakers. Whoever bought this really fixed up the place, didn't they? It looks amazing." I spun around and took in the scenery. "I've always wanted a house like this you know? Hard to believe that this used to be mine. I always knew this house had potential. I'm glad someone decided to do something great with it."
Jake got out without turning the truck off and stood between his open door and the drivers seat. "Whoever bought it is really taking care of it. If you aren't going to have this house, it looks like it went to the right person. Besides, this really doesn't compare to what you have in Manhattan... or the Hamptons." Jake sounded a little melancholy. I walked over to him and hugged him. "All the houses in all the world could never compare to the one that you first called home, Jake. Especially when it comes to being within a certain proximity of your family. I wish with all I am that we could be closer to you. If there was a way for Jimmy to be here and still do the show or for you guys to be in New York, I would do it in a heartbeat. But, I suppose until someone figures out a way for that to happen, we will just have to use our frequent flyer miles to come back whenever I get a little homesick. It's just too bad I don't have a place to lay my head when I come home anymore. I would have loved to live in this house, even if it were only part of the time."
I pulled away and kept embracing Jake in a side hug as he grabbed my shoulder with his hand and squeezed before placing a kiss on the top of my head. "You know you always have a place to stay if you ever feel like you want to come home. Mom, Dad, and I would love to house you and Jimmy, and the little man. No questions asked." I closed my eyes and took in the fresh summer air and listened to the cicadas and crickets singing around us. I could smell the fresh cut grass and the honeysuckle on the light breeze blowing in. Sometimes I really did miss home. "I'm gonna have to take you up on that sometime soon, Jake. I guarantee it." Jake laughed as he let me go and grabbed a set of keys from his pocket.
"Here, I got to go take care of a few things so I have to be going but your next clue is in the house. Don't worry, we have permission to be here from the owner." He took the keys off his key chain and tossed them to me. "You'll need these to get in." He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek before shutting the door and rolling down the window. "Enjoy the rest of your night. I love you, Sis." He smiled before turning to look over his right shoulder, slowly backing out of the driveway. I watched his truck chugged down to the end of the drive before staring down at the keys in my hand. Guess it was time for me to see what all has changed on the inside of the house as well.
I walked up the walkway and to the old red door that I loved so much. I could still see all the scratches in the paint from my trying to unlock the door in the dark. We had always had a porch light when I lived here but for some reason, I never thought to turn it on so I would have the light when I got home. I was curious as to why the new owner didn't choose a new door or at the very least attempt to cover the scratches. Maybe the new owner didn't notice. I shrugged at the thought of that when I put the key in the lock and slowly opened the front door.
The house was beautifully decorated with a rustic chic feel. The floors were a gorgeous dark cherry wood throughout the entire house. The walls were a rich mahogany color with one deep burgundy accent wall. The kitchen had marble counters with stainless steel and black appliances. In the foyer a brilliant stone fireplace caught my eye. It was huge and gorgeous. I couldn't help but be jealous of whoever would be able to cuddle with their loved ones in front of that amazing spot during cold winter nights.
I smiled to myself when I caught something pink out of the corner of my eye. I turned and saw a lone pink rose sitting in a vase on the glass kitchen table. I walked up into the kitchen and made my way to the table. Just as I had suspected, a note was underneath the vase. Brecks was scrawled across the top in Jimmy's handwriting. I picked the rose out of the vase and breathed in its wonderful fragrance. I picked up the note and unfolded it, pleasantly surprised when the fresh scent of Jimmy heightened my scenes. He must have been holding on to this one for a while.
I had a few more stops I wanted you to make but once I got here to set this up to send you on your way, I realized that... the scavenger hunt, the clues, all the running around reliving all those moments together? All that stuff.. thats for me. You dont care about that stuff. You care about this. I wanted to come here because this is where it all started. New York? Yeah, that's where we met and that's where you first kissed me and yeah, that's where we ended up but Missouri? Here? This place? This is where we REALLY began.
New York was for me. Missouri is for you. This is where I chose you, there is where you changed my life. I've never been happier, sadder, more angry than I have here but this is also where your life began. You were born here, you grew up here, you became the most amazing woman you are right HERE so there's no need to send you on a five hour hunt around here. You know these places better than I do anyways. I cant send you anywhere you haven't already been but what I can do is be willing to learn all the places here that are important to you.
I read and reread the letter over and over again, tears filling my eyes. I cant believe Jimmy did all of this for me just to show me how much he loves me. While I was almost positive that this hunt was leading me to something more important than that, I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. I folded the letter and held it against my chest. I slowed down for a moment and let my shoulders relax, taking a deep breath in.
I could smell the rain blowing in. It was definitely going to storm tonight. The air felt cooler and then suddenly there was an electricity in the air around me but it wasn't the kind that accompanies a thunderstorm. This current was different. It was the kind that only occurs once in a lifetime. I suddenly understood the analogy Jimmy used for us in the video in front of this house. Our love is like a thunderstorm. I could feel it. I could see it. Our love was almost tangible. Even before the fresh scent blew in with the wind I knew. I closed my eyes and smiled.
"I missed you today, J." I said softly, turning my head to the side and waiting for his response. I just heard him ever so slightly huff. "How did you know I was here?" He sounded amazed. I opened my eyes as my heart nearly leapt out of my chest at the sound of his velvety voice. Finally, I was in the same room as him again. I could hear him. I could smell him. I could feel him. I lightly giggled. "Are you kidding me? I can feel you from a mile away. Just because I cant see you doesn't mean I don't know you are there." I could sense Jimmy moving closer to me, the sensation of him walking up behind me was driving me crazy. Suddenly I felt the warmth of his body and his scent now enveloped me. My heart was now threatening to beat right out of my chest at this point. I closed my eyes in the anticipation of finally feeling his touch for the first time all day but he was making me hold out a little longer. For what? I wasn't sure.
"Just like how I can tell what you're going to do even weeks in advance?" I could feel Jimmy's breath on my neck and I could feel his eyes dancing around my body. He was driving me crazy being this close to me and yet so far away. I felt Jimmy lightly move my hair off my shoulder. I let in a shaky breath and attempted to get the next sentence out coherently. "I... I guess so. Its actually quite astonishing that you knew what I would do before I did." What Jimmy had said had finally clicked with me and I paused, looking down at the letter in my hand. "Wait. Weeks? You've been planning this for weeks?"
I heard him let out a quick snicker. I couldn't see him but if I had to guess, I would say it had his hand over his mouth and was trying to hide his devilish smile. "Cards on the table? Months, actually. You were only about four or five months pregnant when I made that last video. And if I'm being completely honest, I think part of me has been planning this for a lot longer than that and I think the other half has been planning this since that first night I laid eyes on you. Since the day we met." That was it. That was the moment I was waiting for. I quickly turned around and looked into his rich brown eyes. I couldn't look anywhere else . I saw the laugh lines darken on his face and his crows feet around his eyes crinkled and his eyes went a shade darker and I could see a smile spread across his face.
"Hello, luv." Jimmy said softly, taking his hand and moving my bangs out of my eyes and tucking it behind my ear. He gave me the once over and grabbed my hand, spinning me in a circle, letting out a low whistle. "Oooh. You look..." I stopped and put my head down. "Tired, ragged, and disheveled?" I offered my own opinion. Jimmy stopped and lifted my chin up. "Magnificent, Brecks. Radiant. Amazing." He let out a sly smile as he let his hand slide down my arm. I closed my eyes and let the sensation take over my senses until a shot of pain shot through the inside of my arm. "Ow! What the hell?" I quickly opened my eyes as Jimmy started laughing, walking away and lying on a gigantic black leather couch in front of the fireplace. "I told you, stop talking bad about yourself." He closed his eyes and kicked his feet on the arm of the couch, crossing his legs and putting his hands behind his head.
"Jimmy! This isn't my house anymore! You can't just make yourself at home. Get your feet off the couch before you scuff it. You know what? Lets just get out of the house altogether. I don't want to know what you paid to be able to use this house for tonight. Come on, let's go." I reached down and grabbed his arm, as his head fell back against the other arm of the couch. Jimmy's eyes opened and he bit his lip, rubbing the back of his head. "First of all, ouch. That really hurt. Secondly, don't worry about what I paid for this house. Just know that I paid enough but I didn't just get it for tonight." I sighed and shook my head as I began to pace in front of the couch. Jimmy threw his feet down and started laughing at me. "Fine! So you bought it for the weekend then? So we had some place to stay? You're right, I don't want to know what you paid the family to leave this house for the weekend and its incredibly romantic and sweet of you to do this for me but..." Jimmy put his hands up and grabbed my hand, making me stop pacing. He shook my arm and pulled me down so I was crouched in front of him.
"Breckyn. Stop pacing, you're making me nervous. Relax. Stop for one moment and look at me. I didn't just buy this house for the night or for the weekend, Breckyn. I bought this house for a lot longer than that." He held my face in his hands and stared into my eyes, lightly stroking my cheek with his thumbs. Slowly, his lop-sided grin washed over his face, simultaneously making my heart skip a beat and stop at the same time. He took a deep breath in and slowly let it out, leaning in and kissing me on my forehead. "Welcome home, Brecks." He added before pulling back to take in my reaction.
I leaned back and stared at him, giving him my best inquisitive expression. I had no idea what was happening. "What are you talking about? This isn't my home anymore, Jimmy. I sold it a long time ago." Jimmy stood up and took my hand, walking back up into the kitchen and standing by the table. He walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a water, opening it and taking a swig before handing it to me. I shook my head and leaned against one counter while he jumped up on the other, dangling his legs over the side.
"By all means, make yourself at home in someone else's house, Jimmy." Jimmy was mid-swig when he laughed and water spilled down his front. "Damn it." He whispered as he began to wipe the water off his solid black button down. I took this time to take in what he was wearing. He looked simply stunning himself. Jimmy was wearing a solid black button down and a black vest with a navy blue tie. His sleeves were rolled up to make his usual ¾ sleeve to where it rest right under his elbow. He was wearing black dress pants with what appeared to be a charcoal pinstripe. He looked sophisticated from head to toe, completing his outfit with his signature black Italian dress shoes. Pretty fancy for a scavenger hunt, I'd say. I was beginning to wonder if something important was about to happen in our lives. Was he.... I thought to myself. No. He cant be. It doesn't make sense, we haven't talked about marriage in ages. Then again, why else would he bring me half way across the country?
Jimmy's voice startled me from my deepest inner most thoughts. "I'm surprised you haven't caught on. Do you even know who bought your house? Was the information privy to you or did you just not care? Did you not notice that literally everything you wanted in a dream home is right here, right now? You didn't notice the door and how no one bothered to paint over the scratch marks? Or the swing set out front? I would get it if you didn't notice, but surely you recognized the keys Jake gave you, right?" I looked around the room and found the keys laying on the kitchen table.
I walked over to them and examined them in my hand. The key was attached to a Boston Red Sox keychain as well as my alma mater's. There was a Florida keychain that I had stolen during a drunken spring break dare during college. I smiled when I got to the tiny pink B that was dangling from the ring as well. These were my keys, but how and why did Jimmy have Jake give me these. I held the gold key in my hand and wondered for a moment before it dawned on me. I dropped the keys and let out a gasp, covering my hands with my mouth and slowly turning to Jimmy who was beaming, now sitting cross-legged on the marble countertop. A countertop just like we have in the house in the Hamptons.
"There it is..." He whispered as he motioned for me to walk over to him, but I couldn't move. I couldn't walk, I couldn't talk, hell it was getting hard to breathe with how overcome with emotion I was at the time. "You.... YOU bought this house?" I finally got out after about a minute or two of trying not to hyperventilate. Jimmy smiled and jumped down off the counter and spun around. "Yep. I bought this house. This..." He said still spinning. "is officially our home" He stopped and pulled me towards him. "Well, our home away from home, of course."
Again, I was speechless. I had nothing. Jimmy pulled me into his chest and I let my head fall into its home between his pecks. I felt the silk from his vest and the texture from his tie against my skin. I could finally feel the warmth of his skin against mine as his arms enveloped me. Jimmy and I were wrong, this was not my home nor were the houses in New York. He was my home. The strength and safety I found in his arms, the shelter of his love, and the way his laughter eased all the tension and pain in me. Jimmy was my home. I can't believe I didn't realize it until now. I lifted my head and looked up into Jimmy's eyes. I could feel him relax against me. "What?" he asked coyly. He knew exactly what I was going to ask.
"You bought this? How did you buy this house? When? Why? We can't move back here, James. That would be impossible." Jimmy sighed and pulled me closer. "Bought. As in paid for. Purchased with money. I own it. Well.." he paused. "Actually WE own it." He started laughing again. "Well, if you want to get technical, then I own it but I bought it for you. For us. When did I buy it? Well, I bought it right after we found out you were pregnant. I leaned back and shook my head in amazement at him. "You remember when I had your mom come sit with you at the hospital so I could change and eat after the sonogram?" I squinted my eyes and slowly nodded. "Yeah. I didn't eat and I changed right here. Instead, I bought this house. Why did I buy it? Because this is your hometown and this is your home. This is where you grew up and you love it here. Your family is here. Besides, I want Thomas to know where his mom grew up. Winnie too. And don't worry about moving. We will still live in New York, we can just use this house as a summer house. A getaway for hiatuses and holidays."
I let go and leaned against the counter again. I folded my arms in front of me and glared at him. "You bought this house after we were only together for 7 months and then kept this from me for another 10 months? How do you keep something this huge from me? I'm your girlfriend and I'm the mother of your child. Are you insane? What would have happened if we didn't make it? If we didn't last? What would you have done then, huh?"
Jimmy mimicked my stance and leaned against his side of the counter, that smile of his still present. "Yes. I did." He looked around and tightened his folded arms on his chest before bringing them down and resting his hands on the edge of the counter, gripping the marble in his hands. "I bought this house after only 7 months because I knew that regardless of how long we've been together or would be together or how big buying a house was, you and Thomas would need it. I needed it too." He pushed himself off the counter and walked towards me, pulling my crossed arms away from my body and rubbing them up and down. He bent his knees and brought himself eye level with me so he could meet me eye to eye. "We need a place where Thomas can just be a kid. A place where he and his family can bond, just like you and I had growing up. This place can give him that. Also, the only reason I kept this from you was because I knew that if you found out before having Thomas or my signing the deed then you would just make me give it back." I lightly pushed him and he giggled as he fell back, putting his head down and smiling. "You're damn right I would, James. Are the papers signed? How much did you pay? Do you realize that we have three homes now? FIVE if you count the guest houses!"
Jimmy ran his hand through his hair and fixed his tie that had loosened a little. He kept his gaze down at his shoe as he kicked at the gorgeous hardwood flooring. "Yes the papers are signed and I already told you, I paid enough for this house. Wait, shouldn't you know what I paid for it? You were the seller. I'm sure you have an idea what I spent. Also, six." He added softly, looking up with his left eye closed and a crooked grin on his face. He only made that face when he knew he was in trouble but was attempting to charm his way out of it. Most of the time it worked and as much as I hated to admit it, this moment wasn't any different. "What do you mean, six, James?" I asked him curtly.
"Six houses. Technically, I own three apartments in Gramercy and 1 house in the Hamptons, 3 if you count the guest houses. So in all actuality, this makes number 7, which just so happens to be my lucky number. But that's fine! I only have one home here. We can come here when we need to get away or for family gatherings. It'll be nice to be able to have our own place to call him when we come to visit. No more sleeping in your parents house or on floors." I sighed and let out a huff of air as I looked up at the ceilings. Oh son of a bitch. He had them vaulted. He had the damn ceilings vaulted. Just the way I like them. I saw him smirk out of the corner of my eye. He knew I loved them. I looked down and pointed at him. "Don't get technical on me here, J. This is huge!! You bought a HOUSE. Do you know how permanent that is?" I cant believe he did this for me. For us.
"Yes, this is huge but it doesn't compare to the million things I would do for you, Breckyn. Or Thomas. This is for you and for us. For our son. Can you just do me a favor? Can you just enjoy it? Okay? Just slow down and shut your mind off for a moment or two and enjoy this. This is ours, Breckyn. This is our home." He looked at me as if he were apprehensive about how I would react. I let my expression soften and let a smile wash over my face. He let out a sigh of relief and suddenly his demeanor changed. He relaxed and chuckled to himself, putting his hand on his lips and trying to hide his smile. There was really no use in him trying to hide it, I could see his smile in his eyes, I could hear his smile in his voice and I swear in this moment I was able to feel his smile.
"You're right, James. You're always right." He went to say something when I pressed my fingers to his lips. He lightly kissed them as I spoke. "Don't make me regret saying that. You know I've always loved this place and it absolutely broke my heart to sell it. Little did I know that I was selling it to you." I closed my eyes and turned my head in disbelief. "Gosh you're sneaky. You know that?" He nodded and I came to the sudden realization of what this cross country trek was for. "Wait, is that what all of this was for? The clues? The roses? The flying halfway across the country?"
Jimmy smirked at me. "Nope. The house is just a bonus. THIS is what it was for." He said as he reached into his slacks pocket and pulled out a small piece of newspaper and handed it to me. "This is your final clue." I looked down at the newspaper clipping in confusion. I wasn't sure where else he could take me on this journey and I Really had no idea what on earth this all could be for. When I looked up at him, he closed his eyes and slowly brought his hand up to my cheek. I let my head rest in his hands as he caressed my skin. Jimmy opened his eyes and let his hand fall to mine. He lifted my left hand and kissed the back of it. He let my hand fall to my side and turned to walk out the front door.
"Wait. Where you going?" I asked rushing towards him. He laughed at me when he turned to find me jogging towards him. "Relax, Breckyn. Just read the clue. It will tell you exactly where you need to go if you think about it. You'll see me again... I promise you. You'll have to work a lot harder to get me out of your life. I'll see you soon, Ms. Jones." With a wink and a smirk, he walked out of the door and jumped into a vehicle. I heard the familiar rumble and walked over to the door just in time to see my old pickup truck rumbling down the driveway. The window rolled down and I saw two wonky fingers holding up a peace sign out the window. He leaned out and flashed his perfect grin at me when he stopped at the end of the drive. I saw him fidget with my radio knob before he leaned out the window again with the music blaring. What the hell was that song, I thought to myself.
I'd wait on you forever in a day
Hand in foot
Your world is my world
Aint no way you ever gon get any less than you should
Cause Baby you smile, I smile.
Oh hell no. Justin Bieber? Where did he even get that cd? I shook my head as he leaned out and made a heart out of his hands and pump it up and down on his chest, making his cheesy Bieber face. "You're crazy, Fallon!!" I yelled after him. "Only for you, Jones!!" He yelled back, putting himself back in the cab and took off down the road. I could hear him singing along with the song as he drove off. I laughed to myself as I walked back into the house. "What did you get yourself into, Breckyn?" I asked myself, picking the newspaper off the counter where I left it and unfolded it.
I gasped and held my hand over my heart as I read the newspaper article. "Late night host and comedian, Jimmy Fallon, 41, has been involved in a tragic accident while vacationing in the Midwest during his summer hiatus. While the specifics of the accident are not yet known, sources have reported that Mr. Fallon was with his girlfriend, attending their mutual friends wedding. It has been reported that there was an incident at the reception and it is suspected that Mr. Fallon was involved in an altercation that resulted in serious and critical injury to the Tonight Show host. Details regarding his condition have not been released yet. Mr. Fallon's publicist could not be reached for a comment at this time."
I felt a trail of tears roll down my cheek as I read and re read the article over and over again. Why would he want me to read this? I don't see where this is supposed to lead me? Am I supposed to go to the hospital? I looked around the house for more clues but there were none. I read the article two more times before folding it shut. That's when I noticed the handwriting. I unfolded it again, this time reading the opposite side of the article. There in silver sharpie was my clue.
Well, you made it. The last clue. I promise that I wont send you on anymore cross country trips and I wont make you listen to anymore horrible song parodies or make you try to decipher my handwriting anymore. This is the last clue because there is only one more thing left to tell you, to show you. This isn't to make you relive our memories or make you realize how much I love you and how extremely worth it you are. You can reach your full potential without me.
You've changed me. You've made me a better man, son, brother and father just by loving me and I can never give you anything that would begin to equal out to what you mean to me. What I want you do to is to take this time and think about everything you've learned today. I want you to promise me that if there is ever a time in your life where you feel down about yourself, or sad, or if you happen to forget what you mean to me.. I want you to remember this day and everything I've told you. Everything I've showed you. I hope that you now know what its like to see you and love you through my eyes.
So here it is. The last clue. Read it, figure it out, and hurry up and get to me.
My life almost ended here and should have. Some people might think that would be a bad luck, but I happen to know there are two people who no longer believe in that sort of thing anymore. I say we make a happy memory and we make our own luck. I don't want to remember this place as where it all could have ended. I want to remember this place as where my life truly begins.
I folded the paper, grabbed the keys and walked out the door. For the first time today and for the first time in my life, I knew exactly where I was going. I jumped into my car and took off down the driveway, turning down the road and heading to the lake.
____
I turned onto the lake road and saw my truck parked in a parking stall near the gazebo. I parked the car next to it and watched as the sun was just setting and looked amazing falling into the edge of the water, it seemed. I turned off the engine and watched it set before getting out. I looked around for Jimmy but he was nowhere in sight. I looked up at the street lamps. It was quickly getting darker and darker. The lights should have clicked on by now. There was no light around me and I began to hyperventilate as the darkness surrounded me. Just as I was about to lose it, suddenly the gazebo and the path towards it illuminated with the same white twinkle lights that had filled the studio this morning. Lanterns lit the pathway as my eyes followed their soft glow up the gazebo steps to where Jimmy was standing on the top step, hands in his pockets, leaning to the side against the frame. He looked simply gorgeous in the soft amber glow from the lanterns and twinkle lights. He slowly looked up, biting his lip before he released them, his lips surrendering into a heart stopping smile.
"I was beginning to wonder if I was going to have to send out a search party for you. I've only been waiting here for the last hour or so." Jimmy said as he took his right hand out of his pocket and wiggled his index finger towards his body, motioning me towards him. I felt the current change in the air as I was walking towards him. There was a soft rumble overhead and the air quickly cooled, leaving goosebumps on my skin. I walked forward towards the gazebo and up to the steps. Jimmy walked down the stairs and held his hand out, reaching for mine. I placed my hand in his as he looked down at my feet, making sure my steps were carefully placed as to not fall. He kept his gaze on my walking until we made it into the gazebo. It was simply stunning in there. It was filled with white twinkle lights and a few lanterns. There was a rose setting on the bench that sat against the railing. Jimmy led me to the bench and handed me the rose. He motioned for me to sit down but I just gestured that I would rather stand. Jimmy shook his head at me and smiled.
"Well, you finally made it Breckyn. This is the last stop and I know you are probably expecting some big fanfare but that's not what this is about. This isn't about how much of a spectacle this is or how grand a gesture I can make. I think we both know how big of a show I can make out of any given moment. I think I proved that today. At least, I hope I did." Jimmy was talking a mile a minute. I laughed at him and fixed a lone hair that was hanging in his face. Jimmy closed his eyes as I did this, taken a breath and letting it out slowly before looking me in my eyes. He sighed before continuing. "I'm not going to give you this big long speech because I've been doing that all day. Every clue, whether it had been typed, handwritten, sang, or videoed has been one big long epic speech that has led you to here. To me. I've been pouring my heart out to you all day. This whole day has consisted of speeches. Hell, Breckyn, our entire relationship has consisted of speeches. So I'm not going to give one. For once in my life, I'm going to do this the easy way."
I brought my hand to his face and lightly pat it. I could feel a little scruff starting to grow in. I gently rubbed and tsked my tongue. "Oh James. You make me go on a cross country scavenger hunt, sending me around New York City, the Hamptons, make me get on a plane, send me all over the place again and when I finally get to the last place, you have filled the park with christmas lights and lanterns, you're dressed to the nines and you're not going to give a speech? You? That's kind of a lame ending, dont you think?" I kept my hand on his cheek as he scoffed at me, leaning back. I heard a few more soft rumbles overhead. I looked up and the stars were no longer shining through the chalice off the gazebo roof. Thunderheads were rolling in overhead. Whatever Jimmy had to say, he better say it quickly or else we were going to get a free shower.
"Oh, this isnt the end Brecks. This is only the beginning and yes, I could give you a speech. I could give you a million speeches about how much I love you and just what you mean to me and I will do that day in and day out if I have to but.. I think I will save the speech for a rainy day.. when you really need it." As if right on cue, thunder cracked above us and a light shower began to sprinkle down on us and the wood floor surrounding us. Jimmy looked up out towards the sky as the light mist made its way down, lightly covering our bodies.
I looked down at him blinking his eyes rapidly from the water falling into them and laughed. "Well, would you look at that?" I said running my fingers through his damp hair to get it out of his eyes. "I think that's your cue, Mr. Fallon." I said softly, letting my hand return to his cheek as he smiled down at me. "I suppose you're right." Jimmy took in a shaky breath and let it out. I furrowed my eyebrows at him when he started to talk and nothing but a little rasp came out. I let go of his hand and looked at him cockeyed. "Are you okay? You're starting to freak me out right now. We can get out of the rain if you like." Jimmy swallowed hard and shook his head. "No. I'm fine. I'm better than fine. I'm perfect." He grabbed both of my hands and held them in his, swinging my arms back and forth.
"Baby, I love you. I love you so damn much. I love the ever loving shit out of you. I do. I really do." He said rubbing the back of my hands with his thumbs. "Today, I have sent you through the ringer of important moments in our life together thus far. I started at the beginning and took you down memory lane for as far as I could take you in the little amount of time that I had to do this. Every single place I sent you has a special place in my heart. From catching your eye.. and YOU in the studio, to this place, where you first took me after we talked about Mike. Where we fought off Mike and won, and where I fought off Alan and almost lost." His voice cracked and he paused, holding his lips with his hands. He cleared his throat and shook it off.
"I have lived through many beautiful moments in my life, but the one I will cherish the most is the moment I met you. I didn't plan on falling in love with you and though you will not admit it, I highly doubt you planned on falling in love with me. But, fate had other plans, I think. The moment we met, it was clear that there was no controlling what was going to happen. At least, it was clear to me. It might not have been for you and I understand that but for me? Well, for me, it was like our eyes met and my soul went "Oh, there you are." Like I had been looking for you my whole life and just didn't know it."
I went to say something when Jimmy put his finger over my mouth. "Please, just let me say this because if I stop, I might just chicken out of doing this and I've been wanting to do this for months on months." I closed my lips and sighed as he contined. "I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me. Love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into the room and smile at you." He bit his lip and shook his head. I couldn't understand where he was going with this.
"Breckyn, I know you aren't used to be treated like this and that's a damn shame. With all the bad stuff that you've been through, the hell you've gone through, you deserve to be treated like a Queen. You deserve some good stuff to happen in your life and it pains me that after all this time with me, you still find it hard to accept that anyone could love you for you. Well, I'm here to tell you that I love you for who you are and I love you in spite of who you are. When I fall in love, I fall in love completely and I do it intensely and passionately. With everything in my life, I either give it everything I have or I don't do it at all. There is no grey area with me. There never has been and never will be. So when I love, I love with all that I am and I love you and I want a life with you, Breckyn. I want droopy eyelids and sleepy laughter while we share the last slice of pizza sitting cross legged on the counter. I want messy hair and morning breath kisses. I want toothbrush sharing and shampoo stealing. I want to have to take a freezing cold shower because you used all the hot water thinking about what you're gonna do that morning I want my clothes smelling like you because you steal them every chance you get. I want to have to pick the hair off my shirts while I'm sitting in meetings. I want a hand in mine in the supermarket, holding conferences over produce. I want shouting matches that begin in the living room and spill over into the bedroom because I would rather fight with you than make love with anyone else. I want pillows migrating to the wrong side of the bed and crumpled sheets and blanket wars in the night. I want to be able to flinch in bed right before I fall asleep and wake up with a drool puddle on me in the morning. I want love. Pure, simple, true and I want it with you. And only you." Jimmy took another shaky breath in and looked me in my eyes, pulling me so that we were only inches away from each other. He slowly let his shaky breath out, puffing his bangs out as they came to rest on his now wet forehead. The rain was still steadily coming down and if it weren't for the occasional gust of wind, I wouldn't have even noticed how wet we both were, but at this point, I didn't care. Jimmy took one more breath and continued with his speech.
"I... I don't know how to do this. My mind being how it is.. I've thought of a million different speeches and a million different ways but the only thing that really matters is that I love you more than life itself. I love you so much and in so many ways that it is astonishing to me. I did not know that it was even possible to love someone this much until I met you. I fell in love with you. I fell in love with your smile, your laugh, the way your eyes light up when you are truly happy. I love the way you rub your feet together right before you fall asleep, I love the way you sing just quiet enough that you don't think I will hear you, and I love the little arguments you have with yourself when you are trying so hard to do something. I love the mother you are to Thomas and I especially love the way you are with Winnie. She isn't your blood but you treat her as if she is and I love you so damn much for that but mostly, I love you for the man you've helped me become and for the man you make me want to be. I fell in love with you because of the million little things you never knew you were doing and I will fall in love with you for a million more every single day. "
"You are the love of my life, in its simplest terms. I'm not sure if I believe in soul mates or not, but if it so happens that I do, then you are it. There is no doubt about it in my mind. I do believe in love at first sight and I didn't know that that is what I was experiencing that night in that studio until I saw you get in that taxi cab and drive away. You stirred something in my soul that I wasn't sure could be reawakened but I'm glad you did it. Our relationship has been anything but conventional and its been a rollercoaster of emotions but there is no one I would rather ride out this journey with than you. I love you, in all your forms. I love everything about you. I love your scars, I love your anger, and I even love your jealousy. I love everything that you love and I love everything that you hate about yourself. I wish you didn't think down on yourself but I love you in spite of that anyways and if it's the last thing I do, I will love you until you love yourself completely. If there ever comes a day when you are finally comfortable and in love with your skin, well then, I will have done my job, but until then, I'll be here, loving you."
I couldn't tell if my face was wet from the rain or from the river of tears flowing now but I was not about to move or wipe my face to find out. It seemed as if Jimmy were crying as well, his voice was soft and raspy and his eyes were extra sparkly. Jimmy leaned forward and put his forehead against mine, rain water showering over me as he did so. "You are my love, my best friend, the mother of my child, and the reason I wake up in the morning. You're the reason I can wake up at 3 in the morning and take care of Thomas and then do a 13 hour work day on little to no sleep. You are the reason behind my laughter, you are my motivation, you are my muse. I'm only here tonight because of you. You are the love of my life, Breckyn and you always will be." Jimmy paused and wiped a tear from my face. "I love you, Breckyn."
Just when I thought his speech was over and leaned up and kissed his nose. "Thank you for bringing me here for that speech. Even if it did take me all day to get to this spot just for a speech, I'm glad I came." I said as I smiled and reached my hand up to his left lapel and pressed my hand into it. Jimmy smiled and took his hand, pressing mine ever further into his chest. What I expected to feel was his heartbeat but instead I felt a hard sharp object under his vest. I looked up into his eyes and took a second to ponder. "What.... What is that, James?" I asked as I slowly let my hand slide down his damp vest. Jimmy smiled and took a step or two back, moving me with him so we were in the middle of the gazebo.
"That is the prize at the end of this scavenger hunt. But, before I do that. There is one final clue." He said nonchalantly. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Of course there is. What is it? Fork it over, Fallon. Let me read this." I held out my left hand and Jimmy grabbed it with his and closed his eyes, shaking his head, smiling. "No, Breckyn. This clue has been there all day long." I cocked my head sideways, confused. Jimmy mimicked me and continued. "I'm sure you noticed that everyone was calling you a certain name today. Literally everyone you came in contact with has done it today." I looked down and thought about it for a moment.
"Yeah. Everyone was so formal with me. Calling me Ms. Jones. Even Jake did that and Jake never does that. It was a little weird, but it didn't really bother me. I just didn't understand why everyone was being so formal." Jimmy lifted my chin and rubbed the back of my left hand. "There was a reason for that, Breckyn. That was your last clue but I'm guessing you never caught on or you'd be hysterical by now." Jimmy paused and took a deep breath. He shook his head and closed his eyes, reaching in under his vest for something. He looked in my eyes as he kept his hand there for a moment. Was his heart hurting him? Was he having breathing problems? My mind began to race as I thought of how to save him if something were to happen with his heart right now.
"I hope you've gotten enough of people calling you by your last name because I'm hoping that mine could be the one that makes all that change." He squeezed my left hand and I leaned back and went to ask what he meant when he let out a shaky breath and pulled his hand out of his vest I couldn't see what was in his hand because he quickly dropped to one knee right there in front of me.
"Breckyn Nicholle Jones.." he said, his low voice rapsy and breaking as a tear rolled down his face. "Will you marry me?"