"Son of a BITCH!" I yelled as the cheers and party favors died down. Thomas was still screaming at the top of his lungs. "Young ears babe." Jimmy said as he reached up and loosened my grip on his biceps. I refused to let go. I just had the scare of a lifetime and I wasn't ready to face what was in front of us yet. "The boy is only two days old. He doesn't need to hear his mother say 'bitch' yet. I would save that for his Aunt." He said as he pointed over to Gloria as he led me and Thomas into the house. "Or that Aunt." He laughed as he pointed over towards Drew, who was standing next to Gloria by our dining room table. The girls looked at each other and laughed. "Shut up, bitch." Drew said as she walked over and gave me a hug. "He's not wrong, you know." Gloria chimed in as she walked up to Jimmy giving him a hug as well and staring into the carseat as Thomas continued to scream. I really wish we would have been warned about this surprise party but I guess that would ruin the surprise of it all. I just really wanted Thomas to get a good nap in while we were first home so Jimmy and I could get everything situated but that didn't look like that was going to happen. Gloria let go of Jimmy and came over and hugged me as well. I was still so scared and shocked that I couldn't say anything. She rubbed my back and grabbed our bags from the door and carried them to our room. He cleared his throat and grabbed my hand.
"Honey, I'm gonna need you to let go of me so I can take Thomas out of his car seat and soothe him. I need my arms for that, babe." I slowly let go as I felt the tears well in my eyes. Oh no. Why am I crying? Its only a surprise party. Thomas continued to unleash a blood curdling scream as Jimmy turned around and unlatched Thomas from the car seat, putting him to his shoulder and shushing him and bouncing up and down. Jimmy looked up and saw me crying.
"You're crying too? Why are you crying?" Jimmy reached over and put me to his free shoulder and shushed me as well, rubbing my hair as I composed myself while snuggling into his shoulder. He slowly rocked me and Thomas back and forth. "Hey. It's okay. Thomas is okay, Brecks. He was just startled and he doesn't like to be awakened abruptly. It will be okay. Give it a minute or two and he will be back to a quiet and happy baby. I promise. The crying always stops, even if it doesn't seem like it will." He pulled back and put his hand on my cheek, wiping away a tear with his thumb, letting the right side of his mouth fade into a grin. "Where's that smile I fell in love with? Can you smile for me because if both of you are crying, I don't know if my heart can take it."
Just then, I heard little footsteps running towards us and I looked past Jimmy's shoulder just in time to see Winnie running towards us as fast as her tiny little legs could take her. She was moving too fast though and bumped into Jimmy's mother on the way, knocking her to the ground, scraping her knee. Winnie's bottom lip quivered and her face turned red. Soon she was crying her head off as well. Jimmy's eyes widened at the sound of Win crying and he instantly turned around. I saw his shoulders slump and he turned back towards me with his eyes closed, letting out a slow breath. "Oh, and there's the trifecta." He said giving me a look of confliction, like he didn't know where to go first. "I don't know who to go to first. You, Thomas, or Winnie. I only have two arms and I need to make Winnie feel better. If I had three, I would hold you too." I wiped my tears and smiled at him. "I'm fine. I was just startled, touched, mad, and hormonal all at the very same time. I'm fine now though." Jimmy gave me a half smile and a questioning look as he took a step or two towards Winnie. "You.." I stopped him. "I'm sure. Go be Super Dad" I smiled as he turned as quickly as he could and bent down with Thomas to look at Winnie's knee.
His mother walked up to him and held out her arms. "Here. I'll take Thomas and you can take care of your sweet little girl. Besides, I haven't gotten to hold my grandson yet." Jimmy stood up and carefully positioned Thomas into Gloria's arms. He held his hands under his neck while she walked around with him. "Careful with his neck, Ma. He's fragile." Gloria chuckled as she walked up to Jimmy's father with Thomas. "I've been holding babies since the 1970s. I took care of you and you turned out fine." Higgins let out a loud 'HA!' and everyone, including myself and Jimmy turned to look at him. Higgins turned a light shade of pink and cleared his throat. Jimmy turned towards him. "You're one to talk, man. I think you were dropped on your head as a kid." Everyone laughed as Higgins shrugged. "Once or twice." He replied. Jimmy quickly turned around and bent back down to Winnie. "Let me see that knee, gorgeous." He said she lifted her knee to him while sitting on the floor still sniffling.
"You're okay, Winnie." Jimmy looked at her knee and bent down in front of her, taking it in his hands. "It's just a small scrape. You took it like a champ, pretty girl." He brought her knee to his mouth and kissed it. "There. All better." He said as he wiped the tears from her eyes and she smiled at him. He leaned back and held out his arms and she stood up and ran into his chest. "Daddy." She said as she leaned her head on his shoulder and lightly patted his back with her hand. "Winnie Rose" He sighed and closed his eyes and rocked back and forth, lightly rubbing her back. I felt a couple hands come up and rub my back and I instantly knew it was my mother. I turned to look as she walked up beside me.
"How are you feeling, baby girl?" she asked as she continued to rub my back. I put my arm around her and leaned my head on her shoulder as I watched Jimmy take Thomas from Gloria as Winnie followed closely behind him, both of them simply beaming with pride. "I'm sore and exhausted but I've never been happier really." My mom gave me a huge grin and simply said. "Welcome to parenthood, Breckyn. It will be the most challenging and most fulfilling job you will ever have." I nodded as I watched as Jimmy carried Thomas from person to person, showing him off. He was so proud of this little life that we created and so was I. I was proud of Jimmy for being my rock these last few days. I was proud of the way he held Thomas, making suer he was comfortable and happy, not crying but still giving every the perfect view of his beautiful face. Everyone wanted to hold him but Jimmy just couldn't bring himself to give him up. Each time it looked as though he was about to give in he would pull him back into his chest. It was as if he was never going to be holding him and he would be damned if he ever let our boy go. But who am I kidding? He looks at Winnie that exact same way, still to this day. How a man can have so much love, nothing but love, in his heart is truly mind blowing.
I smiled to myself as I remember what Nancy had told me about a week or two before his birth when she had made a trip to pick up Winnie. She told me to just let him have his time with Thomas. It would be their bonding time and that every father needed that..She told me I would have plenty of alone time with Thomas once Jimmy returned to the office to work. To be honest, I was conflicted about that part as well. As much as I longed to have alone time with Thomas, I really was not emotionally or physically prepared to have Jimmy return to work so fast. Thomas has only been here for two days and Jimmy goes back to work tomorrow. I've never been alone with a newborn before and I was not quite sure how I would do. However, Jimmy assured me that if I needed anything at all he would be home immediately. He would stay home but he already took Monday and today off after the birth and he had literally just come back from a 6 week "hiatus" of sorts from his accident. I don't blame him for wanting to go back. I understand, this show is his livelihood. Our livelihood.
While Jimmy walked around the room with Thomas being the proud father that he is, I took this time to sit and rest, my body still wasn't back to it's old self yet and probably won't for a while. As I sat down Jimmy looked back at me and gave me a smirk. He didn't say anything but I knew exactly what he was thinking. Every second since Thomas was born has been the perfect moment and this was another one. Thomas had so many people that loved him, he is going to be so spoiled. I peered over at the dining room table and tried to count the number of presents I saw, I lost count at 30.
***
Jimmy was walking around picking up cake and wrapping paper, placing it in a black trash bag while I sat in the rocker in the nursery, rocking Thomas to sleep. Thomas was cooing and squirming in my arms, his eyes fluttering open and shut. He fussed a little in my arms but he would not go to sleep.
"Shhh, Thomas. You've been doing so good sleeping during the night. You've been held all day, all the commotion should have made you exhausted. I know I am." Thomas began to cry a little more. I stood up and lightly swung him from side to side, which for the last two nights has been working but not tonight. "Come on son. Why are you fighting sleep? You've been changed, you've been fed, you're in a new outfit-help your mom out, huh?" I continued to sway back and forth, making any noises and moving anyway I could to try to lull Thomas to sleep.
After about ten minutes of trying and failing I was relieved when I saw Jimmy slowly walk into the nursery, holding Winnie is his arms as she laid her head on his left shoulder. He was rubbing her back and softly humming while he walked up next to me. Winnie was sleepily rubbing her eyes and patting Jimmy's back softly with her hand. I was on the verge of tears as Thomas continued to cry while I rocked him. "I don't know what I am doing wrong, Jimmy. I have literally done everything I know to do and nothing is working."
Jimmy shifted Winnie into his left arm and he bent down to look at Thomas while I held him. He brought his free hand up and rubbed Thomas' back. "Sing to him." He said softly and he put his hand back on Winnie's back and slowly danced with her around the room to get her to go to sleep.
"What?" I said confused as I sat back down to rock him. Jimmy put his head back and put his chin down to his chest to look into Winnie's face to check on her. She was still fighting sleep herself. Jimmy started to dance slowly again and returned his gaze to me. "He's fighting sleep right? He's fussy?"
I shifted my weight slightly to get more comfortable. That was the wrong choice. Thomas screamed at the top of his lungs. Jimmy covered Winnie's ears but it was too late. She leaned up and was wide eyed and bushy tailed again. Jimmy looked down at her. "I'm sorry, baby girl but your little brother is not happy right now. I'll put you to bed real soon, okay?" She smiled and nodded. Jimmy smiled and set her down and bent down in front of her. Jimmy put a piece of her hair behind her little ear and smiled at her. "How about you go pick one of your books you got today from GG and Pop Pop and bring it to Daddy. I'll read it to you when Thomas goes to sleep. How about that?"
"Otay, Daddy." Jimmy beamed as Winnie walked off towards her room. Jimmy stood up and walked towards Thomas and me. "Have you tried singing to him? If you sing to him, he will calm down and go right to sleep I think." He put his arm around my shoulder, rubbing my back as he stooped down and knelt beside the chair. He pouted his bottom lip out as Thomas screamed again. I took a deep breath in and bounced my arms up and down, rubbing his back. "I'm starting to think something is wrong with him. Maybe I am doing something wrong. He didn't cry like this a single time while we were at the hospital. In fact, he didn't do this until he was scared at the surprise party."
Jimmy quit pouting and looked at me. "Brecks, its nothing you are doing and there is nothing wrong with him. The poor guy is just tired. He's had a long couple of days. He's a baby. He is going to do this quite often. This is all Winnie did for the first 3 months of her life." I shot him a look. "Oh please tell me this isn't going to last the next three months? Please. I will go insane!" Jimmy gave me a knowing smile and put my hair behind my shoulder. "Honey, he IS our child. I'm loud, you're loud. He comes by this naturally. He is probably going to want to make his presence known 24/7, 365 and until he learns how to talk, yelling is what he is going to do."
As if right on cue, Thomas began to yell again. I let out a breath and couldn't hold it in any longer. "Case in point. We may never have a full conversation again for the next 18 years. It's been a good run, really." Jimmy stopped chuckling when he saw the tears falling from my eyes. "Brecks, babe. It'll be okay I promise." I sobbed as I let out in a low moan. "I just want to sleep. That's all. I'm exhausted, I'm dirty, I'm starving and I'm sore. I just want to shower, eat and sleep. That's all I need."
"Here. Come here." Jimmy put his arm around me and helped me stand up. He held me to his chest with Thomas in between us. "It will be fine, I promise you. I'll stay up all night if I have to, if that means you will get some rest." I shook my head against his chest as he rested his chin on my head. "You have to work tomorrow, you cant do that."
Jimmy rubbed my back and let out a snicker. "Oh please. I've gone to work and taped plenty of times on zero sleep, and most of that was from being at the bars all night with Deetch or Gerard. If I can tape like that so I can party and be fine, well then it should be a piece of cake doing it for you and my new son. It's worth it." I looked up at Jimmy and he wiped my tears from my eyes. "You sure?" He pulled me closer, looking down at Thomas, who was starting to quiet down a little and beamed. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I did it with Winnie, this time will be easier." Thomas yelled again and Jimmy rubbed his head. He looked me in the eyes and kissed me.
"It wont be like this for long. One day we'll look back laughing at the night we brought him home. This phase is going to fly by, so baby just hold on. It wont be like this for long." Just then Winnie came in with two books in her hands. She had Green Eggs and Ham and Goodnight Moon. Jimmy looked down at her and giggled. "You couldn't pick between the cat or the moon?" She shook her head and held her hands out. Jimmy grabbed the books and put them on Thomas's dresser and then put Winnie on his hips. "One day soon, he'll be just as big as this pretty little girl here, and then they will both be teenagers and then they'll be adults but right now he's up and crying. The truth is, I don't mind, because I know more than anyone that this part-" He points to Thomas fussing. "It really wont last for long. So we might as well enjoy it and life in the moment."
Jimmy looked at me for a moment and then motioned towards Thomas. "Why don't you sing? See if that helps. I'm willing to bet that it will help calm him down and he'll go right to sleep. Just try it." I shook my head. "For the last two nights he has been sleeping fine. I've never sang to him before. I'm not sure it would work." Jimmy smirked as I shook my head.
"What?" I said returning his gaze. Jimmy bit his lip for a second and looked down at the baby. "Well, actually, I've been singing him back to sleep every night. It really does work to calm him down." I shook my head. "No. Absolutely not. You're just trying to get me to sing in front of you and you know I hate to do that. Besides, my singing will make him cry even louder." Jimmy shook his head. "I'm really not. Besides, I listen to you sing all the time in the shower. I hear you singing when you think I'm not listening. You have a gorgeous voice. I don't know why you hide it." I looked up at him, my face flush with embarrassment. He softened his gaze and rubbed my arm. "Come on. Just try it. If you aren't going to do it for me, do it for our son."
I looked down at Thomas who was looking up at me with glassy, sleepy eyes. He really needed to sleep and at this point I would try just about anything. "Fine. No making fun of me or judging." Jimmy put his hand up in surrender and motioned for me to get on with it as he sat down with Winnie in the second rocker and began rocking. "Gosh, I don't even know what song to sing, James." He smiled as he rocked back and forth, Winnie's head on his chest and his hand covering her back, with the other one crooked under her bottom. "Just sing whatever comes to mind that might soothe him. It doesn't matter what the words are. Just the sound of your voice will help." I cleared my throat and thought of the perfect song to sing and closed my eyes and rocking Thomas back and forth.
When the ground beneath starts a shaking, shaking
And you forget the place we came from, came from
When you're lost and looking for a way home
Your way home to me
Ill come out and find you
When the world around you starts a moving, movin
You should wonder if I still love you, love you
If you feel a darkness coming, rising inside
Ill make a light to guide you back home
Thomas started to quiet down but he was still a little fussy and he started to kick out of his swaddle. I took a deep breath in and heard Jimmy's voice join me on the chorus, low and raspy, making perfect harmonies with mine.
And after all, the sky is falling down
And after all, the waters washed away
My love's the only promise that remains
I opened my eyes and Jimmy had Winnie on his shoulder and was standing in front of me with his left arm under Winnie's bottom and his right arm on Thomas' back. He leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead. Thomas started cooing. I let a smile spread across my lips as Jimmy moved his hand in a circle motioning me to keep going. I looked down as Thomas started to flutter his eyes open and close. It was working. Jimmy cupped Thomas's head with one hand and rubbed Winnie with the other one.
When your doubts have got you thinking, thinking
Nothings ever really sacred, sacred
I looked into Jimmy's eyes as he joined me for the rest of the song. He kept his eyes locked into mine as he softly sang into Winnie's ear. I felt that familiar swelling in my heart and a different kind of tears blurred my vision as we sang together.
You're afraid you might believe it
Believe in me and Ill give you a reason
Jimmy put his forehead to mine as we sang to our children. It felt more like he was singing to me than to the kids but at this point I didn't care. I lost myself in the moment.
Cause the world around us keeps on moving, moving
Theres no doubt that I still love you, love you
If you feel a darkness coming, rising inside
Ill make a light to guide you back home
And after all, the sky is falling down
And after all, the waters washed away
My love's the only promise that remains
By this time, both Thomas and Winnie were passed out. Jimmy motioned over to Winnie's room. We walked across the hall and over to Winnie's bed. He softly laid Winnie into her bed and covered her with her blankets, setting her Winnie the Pooh bear in her arms. He kissed her forehead. "Good night gorgeous." He said as he took his left hand and smoothed out her golden blonde hair. He turned the princess castle night light on next to her bed as we walked out of Winnie's room and back into the nursery. Jimmy turned to me as I placed Thomas in his crib, making sure that he was on his side. I placed a wedge near him to keep him on his side, making sure he had nothing around him that could hurt him or he could choke on or anything. Jimmy smiled as he walked over and put his arm around me and kissed me on the temple as we watched Thomas sleeping peacefully. Jimmy put his hand on Thomas's side and kissed him on top of the head. I notice him take a deep breath in and grin against Thomas's forehead. "Might as well finish the song." Jimmy said as I sighed. He turned and put me in his chest and held me close. I cleared my throat and sang
And after all the sky is falling down
Jimmy took a deep breath in and sang into my ear softly repeating my words.
After all the sky is falling down
I could feel his chest vibrating with the vibrato from his soft tenor voice. I rubbed his back and took a deep breath in as I cried through the last line.
After all the waters washed away.
After all the waters washed away
Jimmy pulled me back and cupped my face in his hands, putting his forehead to mine as he softly and slowly sang the last line.
My love's the only promise that remains.
We stood there for a while, Jimmy's forehead against mine, looking into each others eyes. I had my arms wrapped around his waist and he slowly brought his lips up to my forehead and then pulled away, making us face the crib. Thomas was peacefully snoozing away. I shook my head and laughed.
Jimmy turned to look at me. "What's so funny?" I let go and walked out of the nursery and into our room, Jimmy following me. "Its nothing. The silence is just... deafening now that he's asleep and has stopped crying." I opened the dresser drawer and grabbed a pair of Jimmy's gym shorts and his old ratty College of St. Rose t-shirt and walked towards the bathroom. Jimmy walked past the bathroom door and opened the linen closet, reaching in and grabbing two towels, handing them to me. "I told you singing would work, didn't I?"
I walked into the bathroom, placing the towels on the counter and walking past into the nursery. "Yes, you did. He is clearly your son" I whispered as I grabbed the baby monitor and walked back into the bathroom. Jimmy was sitting on the counter as I handed him the monitor and began to take off my clothes. Jimmy hopped down and put the monitor on counter, coming up behind me and grabbing my hands.
"Wait. Do you need help getting undressed? I know you are probably in a lot of pain right now, sore and everything from having Thomas. Let me help. Do you need help?" I shook my head as I went to take off my shirt. I pulled at the bottom of the hem and reached up and over. I felt a pull in my abdomen and groaned. Jimmy shot forward and looked into my eyes. "Hey, you okay?" I hissed through gritted teeth as I nodded. "Yes, just really sore. I didn't think I would be this sore, I cant even take my shirt off without wanting to piss myself from the pain."
Jimmy grabbed my shirt from and lifted it over my head. I went to grumble until he let the shirt hang around my neck. "Stop growling and let me help you, Brecks. That's my job now, to take care of you." He grabbed the sleeve and I pulled my arm out of sleeve with no pain. Jimmy smirked as he grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled it over my head and slid it off my other arm.
"You know what this reminds me of?" He said as he reached down and grabbed the waist of my pants and pulled down, sliding them down my thighs. I smiled as I watched his eyes trail down my legs as he worked his way down. "The first night in the hotel?" I asked as I stepped out of the pants and took off my bra. "Yes. Except this time I actually get to see you naked." He wiggled his eyebrows at me as he started for the waistband of my underwear.
I put my hands to his hands and pulled them away from me. "Actually... I'd feel more comfortable if you closed your eyes." I said softly as I bit my lip, putting Jimmy's hands at his sides. Jimmy's face fell, he looked rejected. He let his hands fall to the side of his legs with a little clap. "Brecks, I've seen you naked a thousand times. Why do I need to close my eyes now?" I sighed as I slowly brought my hands up to cover my chest and my stomach. "I- just... " I motioned my hands across my body. "Look at this, Jimmy." I covered myself back up as he glanced down my body. "Actually, no! Don't! I don't want you seeing me like this. I look awful, I feel awful. Just... please, let me be alone while I do this. Its bad enough I feel this way about myself, I really don't want you seeing how I am."
Jimmy stood back and shook his head. "Breckyn. No." He brought his hands to mine and tried to pull them down so he could see my body. I resisted. "Stop, Breckyn." He pulled down again and I reached for the towel and covered myself. Jimmy growled and turned around, with his back facing me he threw his hands through his hair. He turned around and faced me again, reaching for the towel as I stepped back. Jimmy instantly looked as if he'd been punched in the stomach or slapped across his face. He slowly put his hand down as I spoke. I felt the words fall out of my mouth in a monotone, dejected voice. I looked at the ground and focused on Jimmy's green and black striped socks as I spoke.
"I am not beautiful. There are girls out there that literally hurt my heart looking at them because they're so beautiful, take your gorgeous ex-wife Nancy, for example. Or you know.. any of the other drop dead gorgeous women you interview day in and day out. The worst part isn't that I know that I'll never look like that and nobody will ever feel that way after seeing me. It's a difficult thing and yet it's so simple. I was born average. I just wonder what it's like to just wake up and be gorgeous and put on a little bit of mascara and be ready for the day. The worst part is I know that I'm not beautiful but I wake up everyday hoping that you will think I am. My biggest fear is not that I do anything to hurt you or push you away. My biggest fear is simply that one day you will wake up and realize that you deserve better. That you've deserved better all along. Being average and ordinary isn't what's frightening. It's the being with someone so incredibly extraordinary that scares the hell out of me."
Jimmy closed his eyes and sighed. I heard him take in a shaky breath as he clenched his fist and let it go slowly. His body tensed then relaxed. He slowly opened his eyes as he ran a hand through his hair, leaving his hand on the back of his neck as he looked down at me and put his free hand in mine. "First things first: you are beautiful, you are extraordinary, and you're mine Breckyn. I chose you, I could've easily left at anytime, but guess what? I'm still here. You know what I hear when you say things like that? That I'm not doing a good enough job. My job is to make you feel beautiful the second you wake up in the morning. Because you are. You're beautiful in every single way. When you just wake up, when you're sleeping, when your singing OUR son to sleep. I...I wake up every morning and you're the first thing I think about. The last thing I think about before falling asleep?" He pointed to me. "Its you. Its always been you. You're even in my dreams, Brecks. I cannot get you off my mind. You are a gorgeous woman and if you don't believe me then I am not doing my job" He hung is head and brought his hand down off his neck, bringing both hands up to his face. He huffed as he rubbed his face with both hands, slowly raising his head again. He still had his eyes closed when he bit his lip.
"James.." I started as he brought his hand up. "Please. Let me finish, Brecks. I need to finish." I went to continue but when I saw the look on his face, a look of frustration and compassion all at once, I closed my mouth and leaned against the shower door. He walked towards me and leaned against the glass door, facing me. "You look incredible. I know you don't believe me but you've never been more beautiful than you are right now. Honey, I appreciate and love you so much more now that you have had Thomas. Not that I didn't before but... something about watching the woman you love have your child that just-" He paused and looked up at the ceiling while rubbing his chest with his hands. He was trying to find the right words. "-it changes you. It changes the way you look at them, how you love them." He held his arm out and grabbed my left hand. He took his thumb and lightly rubbed my fingers. He did this for a few seconds before coming to a stop on my middle and ring finger. He smiled and looked up. "Besides, I don't see what you see when I look at you. You know what I see? I see a gorgeous woman who has been through hell and back." He touched my abdomen softly with his free hand. "I don't see scars. I see battle wounds sure. And yes you'll have stretch marks but they are beautiful. Every time I see them I'll be reminded that for 9 months you sacrificed. You nurtured. You protected our little boy in there. I'll see love. That's a scar you can be proud of but you should know I don't see that. I see the love of my life. I see the mother of my children."
I smiled and kicked at his leg lightly with my right foot. "Child." I said as I lightly kicked his shin with my foot again. "What?" He asked as I kept kicking at him. He snickered as he lightly tapped my leg with his foot as well. "I'm the mother of your child. Not children. Just Thomas." I felt a finger under my jaw as my head was lifted to look into Jimmy's eyes. "No I said it right the first time. You're the mother of my children. Giving birth doesn't make you a mother. Caring and loving and supporting makes you a mother. You are every bit the mom to Winnie as you are to Thomas." He said pointing towards the door, motioning to Thomas's room on the other side of the hall. I didn't know what to say to that. If I was in control of my head right now I would have looked at the ground but Jimmy was still supporting my chin with his left hand. I closed my eyes and lightly shook his comment away. "What do you think Nancy would say if she heard that?" Jimmy lightly wiggled my chin in his hand to make me open my eyes. "She would agree. Wholeheartedly. If anyone understands that statement it's her. She didn't give birth to Winnie, Brecks but she is still a mother. She knows how you feel about Winnie and I think she would agree with me that you are a mother to Winnie just like she is. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if she agreed."
"Fine. You might be right about Nancy, but I still dont see what you see in me. Especially when you were married to her for so long. She's gorgeous, she's stunning, she's everything I'm not. I don't even know why you stay with me." I said softly as I managed to look everywhere but his face in that moment. I felt two hands on my face pull me towards his. He stepped off the side of the shower and planted himself right in front of me. He looked at me as serious as could be. Here it comes, I thought to myself as I braced for the worse.