This can't be real. This isn't happening. You are still daydreaming. That's all this is. I thought to myself as I felt his lips touch mine. They were so soft and tasted of coffee and.. mint? I felt his hands on my face. I could hear my heart beating faster in my ears. My breath was taken away. I felt my hands tremble. I let a gasp out of my mouth and felt Jimmy smile cover my lips. Oh, but If this is a daydream, let it never end.
I was losing myself in the kiss. All I could hear was my heartbeat. The first long kiss seemed to last forever. I should have known that the happiness of that moment was not going to last long. Soon, I heard cheers and whistling "YEAH! GO FALLON!" I pulled back from the kiss. I opened my eyes and looked at Jimmy. He smiled at me and tried to pull my face back towards his. "Jimmy, stop." I pushed him back gently. He looked at me and had this hurt look on his face. "I thought you wanted this...." He said quietly.
"KISS HER AGAIN JIMMY!" someone shouted from the terminal. People began pulling out their phones and taking videos and cameras. There were flashes going off everywhere. I gave Jimmy a look and pointed at them. "What are you doing, Jimmy?! Everyone just saw you do that! How are you going to explain that?!" I hissed as I grabbed him by his jacket and pulled him into the hallway that led to the plane so that we were alone. "All those people just got pictures and everything else Jimmy! Do you know how fast we just made it onto every social media outlet there is?! I am CLEARLY NOT your wife! IF you didn't want the world to know about you and Nancy, it's a little too late now. What the hell are you gonna do?" Jimmy slid back up against the wall and ran his hands through his hair.
"Shit! FUCK! I didn't even think that through.. I'll think of something." I could hear the panic in his voice. "Maybe I can say you are a long lost relative or something." He said.
"If you kiss long lost relatives like that, then you have bigger problems than trying to explain me." I said. He looked up and said "Haha. Very Funny." I could tell he was stressed. He was pacing.
The lady at the counter came up to us "Sir, if you don't have a ticket, you can't be back here. This is for passengers and authorized personnel only. " she said.
"Well, I don't have a ticket. I just need to talk to her really fast then I'll be out." He said.
"I would love to let you do that Mr. Fallon, but it's against protocol. You either need to talk to each other out there or present a ticket." She said.
"Well, that's fine. She's not getting on this plane. " Jimmy said grabbing my hand to walk me out of the hallway. I didn't move. "Yes, I am, Jimmy. I have to." Jimmy turned around slowly. "Breckyn, you can't be serious. Something bad is GOING to happen if you go back there. I know it. I feel it." He put his hand on his heart. "I just have a bad feeling and my bad feelings are rarely wrong. " he looked me in my eyes. "Please, don't do this. Don't get on that plane."
"I can't keep running from him, Jimmy. If I keep running away from him, then I will never heal. I will always be terrified of him. I can't let him run my life anymore. I have to go back and get what is left of my life there so I can move on. I have to go. Now, I'm sorry for the way I initially treated you. It has everything to do with me and my life and nothing to do with you. I meant every word I said in that letter." I said, reaching up to push a piece of hair out his eyes.
"Mr. Fallon, I need you to come out here so she can board the plane, sir." The lady said.
"Just Give me a few minutes, please, ma'am." He pleaded. He looked like he was choking up. "A few more minutes, but that's all I can do." She walked away. Jimmy put his hand in his hair and looked at me.
"So you're telling me, I came all the way here for nothing. I didn't want you to leave the first time I put you in that cab. When you kissed me in the hotel, I felt that. You might think I didn't feel anything, but I did. I couldn't stop thinking about it all day but I had to keep my cool because in the line of work that I'm in, you have to. I can't have negative news surrounding me or I'm DONE, Breckyn. That's the only reason, Breckyn! You don't know how much I had wanted to kiss you before this. One of these days, someone is going to realize that I'm nothing. I'm just a funny guy who got lucky. One of these days they are going to catch on to that and my luck will run out. You don't understand. Not too many years ago I was living in a cupboard of an apartment and eating ramen noodles to stay alive, barely keeping my head above the water. Then I get a big break and now I have all of this getting thrown at me and I'm successful but its all just a balancing act. Just like that, it could all come crashing back down again." He snapped his fingers to show how quick it could change.
"It doesn't have to be that way, Jimmy. That's not true. You, you're everything!" I said. "I've never known anyone like you. You see the world in a different way. Someone is lost and you find them. Someone is needing help and you'd save them. "
"What about you? You survived this god awful situation. He pointed at my side, where he knew my scars were. You got up and you got out of there." He said, looking at me with sympathy in his eyes.
"Yeah, and I ran away to New York, that's REAL brave of me." I said looking down at the floor.
"That took a lot of guts to turn him in and get away from him! I could never do anything like that." he said as he walked towards me and grabbed my arms, rubbing them up and down. "You are not scared of anything... I don't..." He said putting his hands up to his temples. I pulled back and looked at him
"Me?! I'm scared of everything! I'm scared of what I saw, of what I did. Of who I am." I said. "Most of all, I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life, the way I feel when I'm with you!" I said. Jimmy was leaning against the wall with his fingers on his lips. He slowly looked up at me. He walked towards me and brushed some hair out my face. "Is there anyway I can convince you to stay here? Even if its just for a few days. Let this all blow over and then you can go back." He said.
"No, I have to go. I have to go get my licenses, my social security, and all my important documents. I already called my mom and my brother, they know I am coming. They will take care of me. I promise." I said.
"What are you going to do when you are finished there? Would you be willing to come back here? To New York? You could start over. I can try to help you find a job and a place to stay while you are back home. I'll find you a nice studio apartment or something. I don't know what it is we have right now, but I do know I'm not willing to let you go right now. Watching you get in that taxi cab was harder than I expected it to be. I was willing to let it go, I was willing to let that kiss go, and I was willing to shake it off, it you were. Then I read your letter. I don't know what came over me, but I knew I couldn't let you get on this plane without letting you know I was willing to stop running away myself, I was willing to get to know you better, and I was willing to give whatever the hell has come over us a try, if you were. I knew that if I let you go, and I didn't at least let you know it was worth trying for, this friendship, this relationship, whatever happens, its worth it! If I didn't tell you that, I would regret that. I don't like living with regrets, Breckyn." I was leaning up against the wall and he was in front of me with his hands on the wall by my head. He put his head to my forehead.
"I'm going to trust you. I'm going to let you get on that plane, Breckyn." He pointed down the hallway. "Just know that its going against every feeling I am having in my body to let you do this. But I know you have to stop running. I need to stop running too. I am going to the office right now, I am telling Lorne about me and Nancy, and I'll probably have to explain this if he doesn't know already. I'll take his advice and then I'll tell the crew. When Nancy drops Win off this weekend, I'll tell her that I'm ready to let people know as well. I'm going to do that, and you do what you need to do. Then you come back here to me and we will figure whatever this is out." He waved his finger between him and me. "Please, be safe, Breckyn. Don't let me regret letting you get on this plane. Please. If anything happens to you... I won't be able to forgive myself for letting you go back." He looked at me.
I reached up and fixed his tie that had loosen in his journey here, I imagine. "I'll be safe. I promise. He won't get anywhere near me. " I smiled, "If you are really serious about getting to know me, I'll start looking for jobs and a place here. New York could be a nice change of pace for this country girl. It was starting to grow on me, anyways. " He smiled for the first time since we kissed.
The flight attendant came back, "Ma'am, I'm sorry but if you are coming on board I need you to do it now." Jimmy grabbed my hand. "Please, be careful, and come back as soon as you can. I'll look for jobs and stuff for you." He smiled.
I picked up my bag and put it on my shoulder. "Don't get in too much trouble for what happened out there." I motioned to where we got caught kissing.
Jimmy smiled. "I wont, Lorne loves me. We will figure something out. Get a hold of me when you land" He kissed my hand before I turned to start down the hallway towards the plane.
"Don't go falling down any stairs while you're back home." He teased as he walked away. I looked over my back. "Don't go sweeping anyone off their feet, either, Fallon. Cause I'll be back." I said. Jimmy smiled and waved as I turned the corner.
I got on the plane and placed my bag above my seat and sat down. I sat down and relaxed for a few minutes. I leaned back in my chair and put my seatbelt on. The captain came over the PA and announced to put all laptops and cellular devices on airplane mode. I got my phone out to do so and there was a message from Jimmy. "Someone got a pretty good pic of us and tweeted it to me. Think Lorne will kill me? Not a bad picture for our first kiss, though #wishmeluck ;)- Jimmy" I opened the pic that was attached. Sure enough, there was Jimmy in his suit, he had just flung me around and grabbed me. We were mid kiss when this was snapped. How he was going to explain this to everyone, I had no idea. But if anyone could do it, he could. I hope this blows over well. I smiled one time at the picture and saved it. I texted him back "Looks like I found my new screensaver ;)- Breck." I put my phone on airplane mode and leaned back and closed my eyes. The last though I had before falling asleep is how it felt to feel Jimmy smile while kissing me.
I couldn't wait to get back here to do that, and I hadn't even left yet.