I stood there for just a second longer. Silence. All I could hear was Jimmy breathing. I opened my eyes slowly. I turned my head and looked over my shoulder, still facing the wall. Jimmy had turned around, he was leaning against the sink. He was facing the other wall with his back facing me. He was bracing himself on his arms, holding himself up on the sink with his head down. He was breathing slowly, like he was trying to control his breathing.
"Jimmy?" I asked, almost in a whisper. He took a deep breath in and let it out as he slowly raised his head. His face was red. He looked into the mirror so he could see me. His face held a pained expression. His eyes held sadness and sympathy and anger all at the same time. "Breckyn..." He started.
"Jimmy, I know... ok? I know. They are hideous. They horrible and they will always be a part of me. I was hoping no one would ever have to see those. I was really hoping you of all people wouldn't have to see them. You don't know my story, you don't really know me. But scars are souvenirs you never lose and your past is never far. Judge me for my looks all you want, but that's why I hide them." I said, turning my head back to the wall.
"Breckyn... that's not what I was going to say. At all. I'm not judging you for your scars. I know I don't know your story, but Breckyn, those scars are not that old." I felt a hand touch my scar on my right side. I instinctively moved my body away from him and up against the corner of the shower. "I know that Jimmy." I whispered, barely audible.
Silence. At this point I don't even care if he sees me in my bra and underwear. He has already seen the worst part of me. I slowly turn around in my corner and I see Jimmy sitting on the toilet with his head in his hands. I lean up against the corner and sigh. "Jimmy..." I start.
Jimmy just looks up at me slowly. Its like he doesn't see me in front of him, half naked. Its like he is looking past that. He runs his hands through his hair and brings them back down into a fist. He holds one fist with the other hand and just looks at me. "Breckyn... are those..." He stops. Closes his eyes. Breathes. "Please tell me you had a surgery. Or a car accident, Or you fell down some steps... please just tell me those areNOT what I think they are. Please." He looks up at me... almost begging.
I cross my arms and look down at the floor of the shower I am still standing in. "I did have surgery... but not the type of surgery that's scheduled." I said.. shifting my weight from one foot to the other.
"Are they... God I hope I am wrong... Are they..." He said, struggling to find the words. Or maybe he just didn't want to say them. "Did HE do that to you?" He finally said.
I was looking at the shower floor when all of a sudden my vision got blurry. I couldn't make anything out. I just whispered "yes..." and let the first tear fall. I slid down the wall and curled up into a ball not even caring who was in the room. I broke down. I was sobbing. All of a sudden I felt arms around me.
"You're gonna get wet." I said. "I don't care. Shhh. Just let it out." Jimmy said as he sit in the wet shower next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and I put my head in his chest under his chin. "IM HIDEOUS.. BE..CAUSE.. OF.. HIIIIM!" I sobbed into his shirt. Jimmy pulled my head out of his chest and looked me in the eyes. He wiped the tears off my face and looked me up and down. He looked back into my eyes. "Breckyn, listen to me. YOU are not hideous. That PATHETIC excuse of a man is the hideous one. I swear, if he was around right now, I would show him what men like that deserve. I would make sure he felt the pain he caused you. You did not deserve that. A woman should never have to go through anything like that. A woman should only be loved and treated with respect and dignity. That man, if you can even call him that, did not deserve you. I can promise you that. And no, I don't know your story, and no I don't really know you." I looked down at the floor. He brought my face back up to look me in the eyes. "Breckyn, if you want me to, I want to know your story, and I want to know you. You can trust me. I promise. Im here for you." He smiled that half smile at me. I tried my best to smile back.
He brought me back in for a hug. "And you're not hideous. In fact, you're quite beautiful. And I'm not just saying that because your half naked." He laughed.
"God." I laughed. I went to stand up and Jimmy helped me. "Do you still want to shower? I can help you with your bra still, but if you don't want me to touch you then its fine. I felt how you recoiled when I touched your scar. I don't want to bring up any bad memories. I am willing to help you still though if you will let me. I promise I won't touch you if you don't want me to but I want you to know that I would never touch a woman like Mike touched you." He said.
Jimmy picked me up and hugged me then stepped out of the shower, leaving me in there. My heart was racing and my mind was racing like before. I turned around, sniffled, and said "I would love some help please." My voice was trembling. I was facing the wall.
"Is it okay to touch you?" he asked. "Yes." I answered.
I felt his hands touch the hook on my bra. He unclasped it with ease. He reached up to my straps and slid them down my arms until I could take it off myself. His fingers brushed my collarbone and then my arms. I got goosebumps.
"Sorry, my hands are cold. I didn't mean to touch your arm." He said. I handed him the bra behind my back. I couldn't really speak right away.
"Its okay."
"I'm going to close the curtain now. When you get your bottoms out just hand them out the curtain and then I'll go out in the room. Just holler for me to come back in and help you get dressed."
I handed him the bottoms. I know he couldn't see me but I realized was completely naked with this man in the room. In more ways than one. He knew more about me than literally anyone else now. Why did I confide in the man so much. Why was I so comfortable? Why did I trust him? I never felt like this with anyone else.
"Have a good shower, and relax. " I heard him say and I heard the door open a little.
"Jimmy?" I said.
"Yeah Breckyn?" he called back.
"Stay." I said as I turned the water on.