I would like to dedicate this chapter to one of my best friends @karlaktx because she will always believe in me, support me and push me when I need it.
Kate pov
"No I'm not going to Jeff's birthday dinner," I say to my friend Karla on the phone.
"Come on, Kate! You need to go out more," she counters back.
"Don't you think I know! But what you don't know is how it feels, how much pain I am in or how it feels to go out and afterwards to be in twice as much pain than before, not just for a couple of hours but for days".
Karla sighs, "No, I don't know but I do know you need to go out more. You are always by yourself in your apartment. The only people you see are me, your parents and doctors. We aren't with you all the time."
I sigh, I know she is right. I have to be around people more but, it just always fucking hurts during and even more the days after going out. Some things just aren't worth being in pain for.
"Okay I will go, but not for you. I'll go for Jeff, although I know he would understand if I didn't," I mumble, clearly annoyed by my friend.
"Yeah!" Karla cheers with her victory, "I'll pick you up in 2 hours so go get ready," she chirps.
"No, you live near Jeff. You don't have to drive around. I'll get an Uber."
"You sure? It's no problem," she tries again but I say it is okay before we end the call.
I hate having to depend on others. From all the things I had to give up, I probably miss my car the most. There are lots of people who want to give me a ride when I need one but I don't like to be a bother. I'd rather stay at home by myself than ask someone for a ride.
I get up from my grey couch, walk to the bathroom and start to undress myself.
When I am naked I look into the mirror. The person I see, isn't the person I was 4 years ago before this all started. I have gained lots of weight because I'm barely able to move around or do any kind of sport. I have stretch marks on my belly, back and my boobs. I used to have pretty boobs but now they are just ugly. My back and belly are full of scars from all the surgeries.
Urgh! I hate my body. It sucks on the inside and on the outside. I walk into the shower, turning on the hot water. When I slide under it my mind keeps wandering to the person I was. I was a happy, joyful woman, who always was up for an adventure. I didn't look bad either. I took care of my body and you saw the effort I was doing.
I always thought I would have had a family by now but I guess that isn't in the cards for me. What man wants an ugly disabled woman? Nobody.
I push my negative thoughts aside and quickly wash my hair and body.
After I towel dry myself, I blow-dry and straighten my hair before I apply my make-up. I don't like lots of make-up and always keep it natural. Just some foundation, highlighter, eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara. After my make-up, I walk to my wardrobe and look through my clothes.
I almost always wear joggers and a shirt because it's comfortable. The pants aren't too tight on my leg. I find a black pants, a nice red top and a black jacket. It's simple but nice.
I look at myself in the mirror and sigh. I'm already exhausted, my whole leg is throbbing.
I look at the time on my phone and see there is no time to lay down for awhile so, I'll take an extra painkiller. I look for an Uber and I'm glad I have one in five minutes. I take my purse and make sure I have everything before I take the card and present I got for Jeff.
When I walk outside, my ride is already waiting. I get in the yellow car and greet the driver. Soon after we take off I know this isn't going to be an easy ride. The driver doesn't respect the speed limits and drives like someone is hunting him down. My leg already feels like someone is stabbing it with a knife over and over again and this isn't helping. I feel every stone he drives over and soon my lower back is starting to burn.
Soon we arrive at my friend Jeff's place. I pay the driver before I crawl out of the car. The way I get out probably looks hilarious. I walk over the path to the front door while I look for another painkiller in my purse. I hope this will get me through the night. I put my finger on the with bell and push. I hear some talking, then it is quiet until I hear footsteps. The door cracks open and my heart jumps when I see the person at the door. I didn't expect to see him again so soon.
Harry pov
I am sitting in my friend's big white kitchen on a barstool talking to Jeff, who is doing some last minute preparations for his birthday dinner when the bells rings.
"Harry I'm a little busy here. Can you please open the door? You know almost all the guests anyway," Jeff asks with a smile, already knowing I would do it.
I walk out of the kitchen into the white hallway, I take the doorknob in my hand and push the door open.
Immediately recognizing the beautiful woman standing outside and my heart starts to pound, "Kate," I breath out.
"Dr. Styles, Harry," Kate says surprised. I step aside and when she walks in, she is so close to me that I can smell her. She smells like the sun, like spring. Kate walks further into the hallway while I close the door, "How do you know Jeff?" Kate asks visibly surprised to see me.
"Jeff and I go way back. He is one of my best friends," I admit with a smile on my face, proud of our friendship. We walk into the kitchen where Kate greets Jeff. I go sit down on the barstool where I sat before and watch them or more accurately, I watch Kate. She isn't really tall but her figure is perfectly curvy. I wonder how soft her long, auburn hair would feel, her natural beige skin is flawless and looks silky. She has the warmest personality, I can see it in how she acts with Jeff. Her body is leaning a little into Jeff, she is constantly nodding and asking questions, it shows she is open and honest. She is really listening to him, she looks like she's smiling with her whole body.
Suddenly Kate turns her head to me and our eyes lock for the briefest second before she shoots me a beautiful smile. It isn't a smile like the one at the hospital. This is a big bright smile, even her eyes are sparkling. Even if I didn't want to smile I couldn't stop myself.
The bell rang again and this time Jeff excused himself and went to open it. Kate walks to me and sits down next to me, "So, how are you?" I ask a little unsure if I'm allowed to ask this. I don't want her to think it is because I am her doctor. I am really interested in her and I know people with chronic pain don't like to be asked how they are because they have to admit they aren't doing well.
"I'm okay. Thanks for asking. How are you?" I know she is lying, she isn't okay at all.
"I really wish I could do something more for you but I'm still working on it. I don't give up," Kate smiles and I see the sadness in her eyes again. "I've been working non stop for two weeks so I am happy to finally have a weekend off."
Jeff comes into the kitchen and gives me a glass of red wine and an alcohol free cocktail to Kate. I mentally thank my friend for being so considerate to Kate by providing non alcoholic drinks.
Kate, Jeff and I join the other guests in the living room and start to mingle separately. Every now and then I scan the room looking for Kate. I don't know why I look for her, but I can't stop it. Every time I see her holding her hand against her lower back or rubbing her leg, I know she is in pain. Her eyes are watery, her face is pale and she is having a hard time keeping her attention on the conversation. I excuse myself and walk to Kate who is talking to Xander, a friend of Jeff and me. I give Xander a wink and put my hand on the small of Kate's back.
"Can I talk to you for a sec?" I don't wait for her answer, but take her by the wrist and pull her with me to Jeff's guest bedroom.
"What are you doing?" Kate asks a little annoyed when she sees where we are.
"You're in pain, go lay down," I say sternly. Kate stares at me with wide eyes,
"Seriously? You may be my doctor, but it doesn't give you the right to decide when I have to rest."
"Kate, you're in pain! You have to lay down before it gets worse," I look into Kate's forest green eyes while I take a step forward.
"Harry, you are a doctor! You of all people should know I am always in pain. I didn't want to come because I already was in so much pain. After I got ready I had to take extra pain medication. Then I had an Uber driver who drove like a mad man and before I came in, I had to have an extra morphine pill. Do you understand? Before I was here I was already needing to lay down and I will probably get punished for all this and I'll be in pain for days. That's why I didn't want to come but my friend Karla told me I have to get out more, so I listened. And now after all the effort you are telling me to go lay down in here alone!" Kate said raising her voice before her shoulders slump down and she slides to sit down on the bed.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lash out on you. You probably just want to help," Kate looks down to her feet and a single tear is rolling down her cheek.
I sit down next to her and she puts her head on my shoulder, "It's okay, I understand. I can't imagine how it feels for you. it's horrible. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Do you want to go home? Jeff will understand if you want to."
Kate sighs, "No I'm here now. I'll sit dinner out".
I put my hand on Kate's, "I'll take you home after dinner".
I stand up and look at Kate, "Let's do this together". I reach out my hand. Kate looks up at me with the most angelic face I have ever seen. She looks at my hand and my face again. She stands up and slides her hand in mine, "Together," she whispers.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter?!
If at some point you have questions or want to know more about the medical issues in this story you can always leave a comment or sent me a private message.
I wish you all a wonderful weekend!
All the love,
K.x