(WANG DAO)
There are differences and similarities in training under my Father and in doing it under the command of Captain Ching.
Captain Ching is no trainor but he knows how a soldier should move. He is also knowledgeable in surviving in different places. And things to do in different difficult circumstances.
"What to do when you are running out of water. What to do when you are being chased in the forest. When you are wounded critically. When you are surrounded. When you are pushed against the end of a cliff," Captain gave me different scenarios. "The first thing you should do..."
Remain alive, I thought. Because that is what Father hammered to us.
Remain alive. Stay alive. Until we came to help you.
"Remain alive," Captain Ching echoed my mind. "You always have to be alive so you can plan what next to do. If you are captured, remain docile until you have formulated a plan to escape. Endure torture as long as you can. Charm your way out of a sticky situation. Do anything to stay alive. That is the most important thing for a soldier. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Sir. I will stay alive so I can protect the Crown Prince," I said.
"Correct. You fall, the Crown Prince will be in peril. Your job is to survive to protect the Heir to the Throne. The only time you are allowed to die is to save your Crown Prince," Captain Ching insisted on those things.
I live for the Crown Prince. My life is forfeited to protecting him.
"I should treat him like he is Hua," I mumbled to myself.
"What did you say?" Captain Ching narrowed his eyes on me. "Something about Lady Wang,"
I sighed, "I said, I should protect the Crown Prince like how I promised to protect my sister, Wang Hua. For Hua, I am willing to give my life so I can protect her. She is that precious to me,"
Captain Ching snorted, "You have never fallen for someone else, have you Master Dao?"
"What does that got to do with me wanting to protect my sister?" I asked.
"Well, once you found a person who you will love with all your heart, you will forget about giving your life up for your sister. You will want to stay alive for that person." Captain Ching said.
I frowned at him, "And you know this...how? Do you have a person like that in your life, Sir?"
"Of course," Captain Ching grinned at me. "I am married, Wang Dao. With children too,"
That...surprises me. "You...are married, Sir?"
Captain Ching narrowed his eyes on me again, "And why do you sound amazed at that? I am married, does that offend your logic? Why? Do I look like someone who is not worthy of being loved?"
"No, Sir!" I shook my head frantically when I finally realized that I somehow offended him. "That is not what I mean..."
Captain Ching laughed, "I am just playing you, don't be too serious, Wang Dao." The Captain hit my shoulder as he kept on laughing.
"Ah...ha ha..." I gave off awkward laughters. Captain Ching is not funny at all. And I almost screamed when he turned serious again. "But yes, I have a wife and two children. Lovely girls. Age six and four. I love them."
I can't help but smile at his face while he is describing his family. Captain Ching looks captivated with the thought of his wife and two girls.
"It sounded like you have a wonderful family, Captain." I said. Being nice for a change.
"My wife is a shrew. And my two girls are as noisy as a pen full of squeaking pigs." Captain Ching said. "I only stay long with them twice a week, they live near the market place. Twice a week is good enough for me. I am good with that. When I was shouting at you, I am actually acting like my wife."
"Ah..." I don't know how to react to that.
"Don't worry, boy." Captain Ching smacked my shoulder again. "One day, you will find that one woman who will push you to be alive." He said.
A woman. I don't know about that. So far, I have not met any female interesting enough to catch my attention.
And I am not closing the door on the thought that my mate may not be a female at all. Look at my parents, both male and yet their love is pure and everlasting.
Who could tell the future anyways? Not me. So I will not close any doors on anything as today stands. Anything can still happen. But for now, that is not what I want. Someone I could spend my life with is not a person I need right now.
What I need is to survive this training and prove myself worthy enough to guard the Crown Prince. Once that happened, I can finally start building a name for myself. A Crown Prince guard, then a general and finally Master General of the Capital. Just like my Baba.
Not a bad plan if you ask me.
........................
It was the start of another week when a message from my Baba came again. Calling me in his office to talk to me.
"Your father is calling on you frequently, why is that?" General Bam asked when I went to him to get his permission to see my Baba. I asked Captain Ching first to sign my permission slip but he pushed me to get General Bam's approval instead.
That is why I am here, standing in the middle of General Bam's office. Being suddenly interrogated.
I frowned at what he said in confusion, "This is the first time General Wang called for me, General." I pointed that one out. "I have been in this palace for almost a week now and this is the first time General Wang called for me."
"Is it?" General Bam frowned as well. "But before your first demonstration, you and your Baba get to talk inside this office."
"Ah yes," I remember that scene. "General Wang just inquired about my accomodation in this place. My..." I hesitated a bit before continuing, "My sister worries about me. She begged our sire to inquire about where I sleep and what my living condition is. Girls, and their worrying." I pushed my lips inwardly after telling that lie.
"I see," General Bam started signing my permission slip. After signing, he held the piece of paper on me. But when I tried to take it, General Bam pulled it away from my grasp. "Why do you think General Wang is asking to talk to you now?" He asked me.
I sighed. General Bam doesn't trust me then. And if that is the case, then there is a big chance that Captain Ching doesn't trust me either.
Fine. They don't trust me. I can understand that. It's the truth that I haven't done that much to gain their trust so I shouldn't expect that from them.
Trust is earned after all.
"To be honest, Sir, I have no idea why General Wang is calling for me right now. But I am kind of glad that I will get to talk to my Baba." I said.
"Why?" The frown is not leaving General Bam's face.
"I want to inquire about my sister and our home. In truth, I miss Wang Estate. My family and friends. I am not complaining, though." I made that last one very clear. "I think I am getting used to my life here in the base and the Palace of the Crown Prince. But still, I miss my family. So I intend to ask Baba about our home."
"I see..." General Bam held out the permission slip again. I took it gratefully when he finally let me have it.
"Thank you, Sir." I bowed to him. I was about to leave when General Bam called for me again. "How is your training, by the way? Do you think you are improving?"
I blinked rapidly as I thought of a way to answer that question. Because for one, I am not learning that much from Captain Ching and my other instructors. I still think that my Father is the best teacher. Improving? Definitely not.
The only good thing about my "training" is that I get to have my daily exercise. Plus I get to hold my weapons. Aside from that, I am not enjoying this training.
"I think I am improving a lot, Sir." I said. Controlling myself and emotions because I am lying again. If something is improving on me, it's my ability to lie.
Damn.
General Bam gave me scrutinizing stares before he nodded. "You may go now. And say my greetings to your Baba."
"Will do, Sir." I bowed to him in respect before leaving that room in a bit of haste.
I left the Palace of the Crown Prince on the back of Gentleman, my horse, to ride to get to the military base. I went straight to the building holding the offices of the military officials.
I know my way around this place. Baba had taken me here a dozen times before so by now, I am already familiar with this building and the people here are also quite familiar with me as well.
I was admitted to go up on the third floor to my Baba's office. I knocked first and waited for my Baba to give me the permission to enter.
"General," I saluted to him while standing tall and straight.
"Dao ah," he smiled at me. Baba abandoned his desk and the document he is reading to stand and walk towards me. "How are you?"
"Getting used to living in the Palace of the Crown Prince, Baba." I said truthfully.
"That is wonderful to hear. You sister and father are good as well," Baba said. But there is something on his tone when he said the word "father" that alerted something in me, "Is there something wrong, Baba? Is Father worrying? Is someone sick?" I felt anxiousness entered my body with that thought. "Is it Hua? One of my cousins? Father?"
"No," Baba smiled and shook his head at me. "No one is sick, Dao ah. It's just that your Father and I are not...exactly talking to each other. We are still in a stalemate about his wish to have some informations about you that will be too sensitive to share. That's all..."
"Ah...I see..." I sighed. "Baba, forgive Father if he is giving you some grief about me leaving our home. He...just..."
"I know, Dao." Baba nodded at me. "I am aware of the depth of your Father's feelings for you and your twin. It's all fine that he worries about you. You are his son after all." He smiled at me. "And just to get this clear, I am not angry at your Father. Words were just spoken that made me feel a little upset but it's for me, together with your Father, to solve. Not yours. Don't be concern about it. Is that clear?"
I nodded my understanding to what he is saying. I stared at my sire. Baba looks truly concerned about this situation with Father. But like he said, it is not my concern but theirs. Hua and I learned, while we were growing up, that there will be certain situation regarding our parents that we cannot intervene or even help. That we will just get the situation murkier if we dip our fingers in it.
Best to leave our parents to figure it out than stress about it.
"Baba," I called for my sire. "Is Father your reason for wanting to be alive?" I asked.
Baba frowned at me, "That...is a random thing to ask, Dao. Why? Did something happened that you got curious about that subject?"
I nodded, "While resting in the middle of training, Captain Ching told me that if I got this job, my life's purpose will be to always save my Crown Prince. To remain alive so I can protect Prince Han. Something I always swore to do for Hua. I told Captain Ching about that. That I would gladly lay my life for my twin sister. He laughed at me."
"He laughed at you. Captain Ching?" Baba's frowned deepened.
"Yes," I said. "He surmised that I haven't found someone who will push me to love being alive. Captain Ching has a wife and children. He has a family of his own. And he assured me, that even though his wife is a shrew, that she and his children are the reason why Captain Ching likes to remain alive. It got me thinking, Baba." I stared at my sire. "Are we the reason why you love to stay alive?"
"Of course," Baba nodded. "My family is the reason why I want to remain here and be with the three of you. But if you want me to be specific, then yes, you are correct to assume that your Father is the reason why I want to survive everyday, Dao."
"I see..."
"Son," Baba put his hands on my shoulder. I look up at him, to stare into his eyes that are so much like mine. I resembled my Baba in looks. We shared many physical attributes that no one can deny that I am General Wang Qing's son. That one look at me and everyone will correctly guess whose boy I am. "Listen to me, I would gladly lay my life for you and your twin. If it will be required, I would die for you and for Hua. I will rejoice to drain all my blood from my body if it will mean safety for you and your sister."
"But..." I know there is a "but" somewhere in that speech.
"But I would very much like to go home to your Father." Baba said with such emotions on his eyes that I gasp for breath a little. For Baba, this is his truth. The next words that would leave his mouth is his oath.
"For me," Baba continued. "Staying alive means I will get to see your Father again. To see his smile, to hear his laughter, to feel his touch. And those are the things I crave in this world, Dao. You father's smile, laughter and touch. His love." Baba ruffled my hair, "If I will be afforded with just one wish, that is to die as an old man after spending a lifetime with your Father. You and Hua, you are both my life. My blood. My legacy and treasure. But your Father is my heart. That is why we have that coded message about the "heart" and the "lake"."
"Is the lake frozen?"
"For you, my heart, it is what you want it to be..."
The lake, of course, pertains to the lake in our estate. The place my Baba build for my Father. At first, Hua and I thought that Wang Estate was built so our family will have a home. But as time passed, clues were revealed, and we learned that Wang Estate was built so Baba can live with Father in peace and isolation. And that every single thing in the estate was made and built for Father.
Wang Estate is a monument of Baba's love for Father. And my sister and I didn't begrudge Baba for that. Personally, if I can build a monument to express my love for my family, I would love to do so. But so far, all I can think about is to give honor to my family and our name as a payment for their love for me.
"I fought hard every day to survive, so that I can go home to your Father, Dao. Laying your life for someone is a worthy cause. But needing to stay alive for a person is equally meaningful. Dao ah," Baba patted my shoulder. "Let's not die for the people we love. Let's stay alive for them. Let's fight hard to survive so we can go home to them. Can you do that?"
I breathed deeply and nodded. "I want to do it, Baba. Remain alive for the people I love."
"Then you will do it," Baba said in full confidence on me.
I am glad Baba and I had this talk.
"Your next test will be tomorrow. Are you ready?" Baba asked.
I nodded, "I think I will be fine..."
Baba nodded. "Good. Show some improvements on your sword handling. But still keep some techniques to yourself. Did you learn anything new from your other trainors?"
"No," I decided to be bluntly honest about that. "Compare to Father, their teachings are all mediocre at best."
Baba winced, "Yes, well...not everyone can be like your Father. But still, I hope you will continue studying diligently and practicing your skills. Soon enough, I hope...you can go back to learning things from your Father."
I nodded, "I hope so too, Baba."
"Good," Baba patted my shoulder. "It will be fine, Dao. One day, this will be over and no matter what the result will be, you can start planning on how to acquire more skills. Be more patient,"
"I understand, Baba." That's what I have been doing. Being patient until this is all over and hoping that I will learn things as I go.
But so far, I think the most valuable lesson my Baba wants me to learn here in the Palace is still evading me. I still don't even know what that lesson is, to be honest. All I know is that it's not about being the strongest warrior or fighter. It's not about skill or fighting technique.
It's something else...and I want to know what it is.