grace was feeling happier these days. it was nearing christmas and she had distracted herself by decorating her apartment. the guys came over and they helped her put up the tree.
they spread the branches and then put the lights up and the ornaments. while tae walked around the tree with the lights grace made hot chocolate and cut up the brownies she had made. her aunt showed her how to make them two christmases ago. she looked around the room and smiled. they were all wearing christmas pajamas.
she laughed as taehyung danced around and sang in a higher voice. he was seriously one of a kind. after the tree was up they all sat watching movies eating the brownies and drinking chocolate.
the following week was eventful. she was out of college for christmas and new years but she still had to work. min jung had started to get more customers by the day and a lot of help was needed. two days before christmas she bought gifts for the guys. she also went shopping to make a small dinner.
she was excited for christmas it was always a cheerful time of the year. there were always so many lights to look at. the trees were covered in lights and there were so many decorations. while she decorated a cake she received a phone call from her aunt. she accepted the face time request and immediately little cole popped up from beside his mother.
"merry christmas!" they shout cheerfully. grace smiles widely at their warm greeting.
"merry christmas."
"what are you doing?" her aunt asked curiously.
"decorating a cake." grace replies as she points he camera at the red velvet cake with white icing.
"pretty. you were always a great baker." her aunt says.
"that looks delicious!" cole says.
"it does! i'll save you a slice!" grace says
"grace honey. are you having guests? i hope you are not spending your favorite holiday alone."
"i invited the guys to come over. they should be here in a little while." she says as she checks the clock.
"that's great honey! i know you love them all. have a great time."
"i will."
"how is the boyfriend?"
"he is good. very busy being you know, a celebrity."
"i thought so. but you're good right?"
"yeah. he's sweet."
"you have a boyfriend?! do i need to talk to him?" the five year old looks at grace with his eyes in slits.
"i do have a boyfriend cole. his name is jimin and you don't need to talk to him or warn him. he's a great guy."
"okay!" he shouts as he runs off.
"i'm happy for you." her aunt says.
"yeah. he's the best thing for me right now."
"how are you holding up? are you doing okay?" her aunt asks concern in her voice.
"yeah." grace speaks truthfully but she doesn't tell her aunt about the part where she wakes up in the middle of the night and paces around the room because she can't sleep. "i feel happy."
"that's great. i want you to be happy. you deserve it and after what you have lived through you need it."
"yeah... i just don't feel so... scared anymore."
"if anything happens you let me know. okay?"
"okay."
"you can count on me. always. remember that sweetie."
"i will aunt jade."
"well sweetie i'll let you finish that cake. i love you."
"i love you too."
the call ends and grace puts her phone down. she stares at it. she hasn't received any calls from her parents. her mother had just left a few days ago. she had said goodbye but she seems very absent minded. she had just gone to the shop and after telling grace that she was leaving she hugged her and left. she frowned but shook it all off and continued to ice the cake.
after the cake had been decorated and the rest of the food was set on the table she went to her room to change from her old t-shirt. she put on a pair of jeans and a nice fluffy sweater. she brushed her hair and put it up into a messy quick up-do. after her hair was done she was he she rinsed her face and then applied some make up. after her face was concealed she put on a bit of eyeshadow and then some mascara. as a finishing touch she put on some lip balm and called it a look.
while she was doing some finishing touches she heard her phone ring from the living room. it was her mom.
"hey baby. merry christmas! sorry i didn't call earlier grace." her voice is cheerful.
"yeah... merry christmas. how are you?"
"jet lagged still."
"oh."
"what are you doing?"
"nothing really. i was going to have dinner in a bit."
"good. it's nice to hear you're healthy. how is your father? going crazy yet?"
she sat on the sofa silently fidgeting with the ring on her finger. she swallowed and shut her eyes.
"what happened? you never told me exactly why. i was just told that you were divorcing. what didn't work out? how could you just have fallen out of love? was it me?"
"no honey. it wasn't you. your father and i had been drifting apart for a long time. we fought more often than not. we were not happy anymore."
"how? you and dad were so in love. sure, you got married young but the love was there."
"i don't know but as time went on we found that we were not happy with each other."
"mom i don't think that there is anyone else out in this world better for you than dad. i feel like you know that, he knows that. you both just gave up on trying."
"um when will you visit?"
"i don't know. maybe this summer."
"good. this house i'm buying is near a beach."
"so... it's really over?"
"what?"
"you and dad. there is absolutely no chance of the two of you getting back together?"
"i can't say that but for now-"
"yeah whatever. i gotta go, the food is getting cold."
she sets the phone down and stares at the bracelet on her wrist. life.
•••
"is it time to open presents?" tae asked again.
"if you want." grace mumbles.
"i want!"
he basically runs to the tree and tosses back presents until he finds the one with his name on it. grinning like a maniac he sits and tares open the box. the rest of the guys follow after him and open their own presents.
"what's wrong?" she sees yoongi beside her.
"um nothing i just zoned out for a bit." grace says.
"what's on your mind?"
"it seems as if everything is. i think too much."
"then don't."
"i can't control it. it happens naturally."
"you have too many worries. spill." he says.
"now?" she asks searching the room. everyone is excited as they trash her living room.
"yes."
"well... my mom doesn't love my dad anymore. she left."
"left?"
"yeah. she moved back to america a few days ago. she is buying a beach house."
"nice. i want to live in one of those." yoongi says earning a glare from grace. "sorry. did they end things badly?"
"no. they talked about it for a while. they still saw each other after they got the divorce."
"how are you?"
"okay. i'm just glad they're not fighting over me and stuff."
"i say you shouldn't worry about it. they're adults and things change. people change. they may not be who the other fell in love with back then." he says looking at the floor.
"i guess. i just... they were so happy yoongi. i witnessed some of their best moments together. i genuinely thought they would stay together forever. that they would love each other forever."
"forever is a long time grace."
"especially when we only have one life to live and we never know when it could end. still, it hurts. to see the people you love not love each other. and all because of something i caused." she whispers the last sentence. yoongi looks up at her and takes her hand.
"hey. it was not your fault. that was between them. you didn't make them fall out of love or get a divorce."
"yes but think, most of their problems were because of the accident. the accident that put jen in a comma. the accident that i basically formed and caused. if it wouldn't have happened they would still be together and jen would be here." yoongi stared at her and shook his head.
"you had no control over that. things happen for a reason grace. you didn't form or cause the accident. were you driving?"
"no."
"were you even there?"
"no."
"you're not to blame because you couldn't have stopped it. no one could have stopped it."
"yoongi... thank you. i know everyone sees a grumpy lazy guy who is always angry and yeah i see that but i also see the heart that is in there." she says poking his chest. "you're a big softie. that's okay yoongi because you care and you are kind. that's all you need." she says smiling at the boy.
"mhm... you got any cake left?" he asks standing up.
"in the fridge." she says grinning.
"hey grace come open your presents!" j-hope shouts.