Title: Deceiving Love
Author: MarianaSpiridon
What is 'Deceiving Love?
- It is a story under the categories of both teen fiction and romance!
Rating -
8/10
EBI -
- Use commas more! Read it back and feel the tone of what you write and if you'd speak and pause, then drop a comma or even other punctuation. For example, 'It is true people envied her but she was unaware of this attention', 'It is true - people envied her, but she was unaware of this attention'. If you're not wanting to have pauses, then remember to put all the right connectives in, for example, 'It was* true that* people envied her...' etc etc
- Keep your tense constant. 'She only craved...' is different tense to 'it is true people envied her'. 'She would' and 'she has'.
- Descriptions - there's this unheard rule of the order of describing something. (Attached is a picture explaining). In your prologue you say 'white deadly house' which would in turn be 'deadly white house'.
- Don't use the same words too often i.e. 'cops' - there's a lot of similar words you could use to change up your vocabulary so it doesn't sound as repetitive.
- Don't be afraid to shorten words! Sometimes we don't shorten them so that we can place emphasis on them, for example, 'I promise, it is okay' but for people to use longer versions all the time is irregular and abnormal because in day to day use, mostly, everyone shortens everything. If character's are speaking, it is more likely for them to say 'I'm here for you' than 'I am here for you'
- You can use isn't and wasn't etc without having to feel bad or illiterate
- Type numbers in words if they're not over two words long (past twelve years instead of past 12 years)
- Proof read and proof read and proof read A LOT. Read your sentences out loud to see if they make sense and sound like something someone would see, read to someone else, even, and ask them if it flows or if you need to switch words around. For example, 'my father inherited from his great-grandfather a good fortune' flows a lot better as 'my father inherited a good fortune from his great-grandfather' even though it's literally saying the same thing
- Don't be afraid to use extremes rather than moderate, lesser known and remembered, versions. For example, 'we were known in our town', just changing it to 'we were well known in our town' makes a huge difference
- Utilise full stops and ellipses. Changing subject? Full stop. Pausing completely? Full stop. You can also use dashes (-) and semi-colons (;) to completely demonstrate the tone of your writing and how you want it to be rea
- TENSESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. 'It sounds ironic to me every time I heard them say it', even just small things like this...different tenses cause confusion and it's like, well is this all still going on or what? It can also lead to spoilers and confusion as to where the narrator currently is now as she's looking back
- When proof-reading, use concise and detailed sentences instead of drier sentences. For example, 'It took a few months to get settled with the moving', you can even add feelings as well as description here, 'It took just over a few months/only a few months to get settled in/into the newer, darker reality' etc etc.
- Trust your reader to understand what you're talking about. 'the cops never found a dead body inside my house but they assumed that a murder took place with the amount of blood, broken objects and gun left on the living room's carpet' could be 'no dead body was found by the cops, even with the smashed up living room or the gun laying hard on the (colour) carpet, but he was assumed dead due to the (excessive/adjective) blood'.
- Use more description and more imagery, it will pull the reader in attach them to your writing style.
- Don't tell the reader that it's raining, tell them how the streets glimmered with the sky's tears under the dark shining moon etc etc.
Review:
- The stunning cover of the story should definitely be trusted for judging the book, because this story is just as stunning, if not more. The plot is simply fantastic and the writing style has direct implications with quick transitions from scene to scene, also contrasting with the past and the main character's own struggles through life and her father's 'death'. It is alluding and mysterious, giving the reader the perfect kind of suspicion they need to keep their mind active during the story, with likeable characters flowing in and out of each chapter to keep the action going...especially romantically, with new ideas and potential springing up all over the place. Mariana's characters have clear likes and dislikes, with all their attitudes and thoughts coming across gently if not directly and clearly. The story has great potential in developing and perfect control is established with the use of clear paths in progression of the story.
Blurb:
When was the last time you marched into the unknown with only the soft glow of a motive you strongly believed in?
Anna was 7 when her father, John Blackwood, was suspected to have been murdered, but right before she turns 18 she receives a letter that will change everything. She finds a new piece of evidence that can take her on a journey around the glove to find her father and more about the culprit. When she sets sail on her journey, little did she know she was going to find Jack, who has also received the same letter and has been looking for the culprit as well.
But who is Jack? Why would he be searching for answers to Mr. Blackwood's murder? Can she trust him?
Jack is mysterious with a dark past yet Anna finds her self feeling more attracted regardless of how much she tries to stay away from him. But she can't lose track of her goal: to find more evidence that leads to the culprit. Will she be able to find the culprit before Jack does?
Recommended?
Absolutely!!
Happy reading folks!