Title: Black Petals
Author: Gray Hollyville
Wattpad Account: bitterwishes
What is 'Black Petals'?
'Black Petals' is a fantasy story about the journey that a young girl called Blaze faces as a young girl finding her way through a world immersed in poverty, slavery, magic and hierarchy.
Rating -
9.5
(However, the tense mix ups could drop it to as low as 7.5!)
EBI:
- Tenses! I think it's one of the most prominent things that holds this story back. Whether you're using current or past tense, you haaaveeeee to keep it consistent otherwise a lot of things can go wrong and it can really mess things up. To fix this, just literally pick a tense and read through your writing looking for anything that contradicts it
- In a couple of places, 'a' is used instead of 'an' - this isn't really that vital but just try and watch out for it and then fix it whenever you notice it
- Watch out for general typos! Small and very rare but keep an eye out just in case
- Try and see if you can add more thoughts and feelings into Blaze's view of her position as a slave to really try and tug at the reader's heartstrings and emotionally tie them to the story
Review:
Right. The prologue of this story...amazing. Like literally just loved it. The imagery, the descriptions, the words used are just beautiful, really. Totally effective way of dragging the audience and literally hooking them into the story. It's dramatic and powerful and quite stunning, even. The author should be seriously proud of this, the work seriously shows. It's almost as if the language and writing style of this story wraps the reader in a cocoon or bubble where all they can do it entertain the next word of the story to come. It's amazing. The title of the story has a place as soon as the first sentences are read, let alone in comparison with the rest of the story. Its' developments and techniques of conveying things to the reader are all really well shaped and detailed.
Literally so much effort has gone into this story and it's really clear to see. Everything is really well perfected and the descriptions are so ideal. It's really been developed and it's got massive potential.
Recommended?
Couldn't be recommended more. If you're into stories with tags like action, adventure, fantasy, warriors, slaves or many more then this is an ideal start to a beautiful reading obsession.