RPOV
"No."
I stared into Dimitri's brown eyes and returned his resolution. "Yes."
"I'm not budging, Rose. Absolutely not."
I leaned across the table and dropped the tone of my voice to a seductive whisper. "I'm the one scared of them, and I still say yes. You're not the only one who can remain resolute."
The tension in Dimitri's body shifted. He wriggled, fighting off the sexual tension I had just created. "It's still no, Rose."
"My best friend is queen, Comrade... or had you forgotten?" I purred and hopped over our small kitchen table and slid onto his lap. "I say yes." My hands slipped under Dimitri's tee and started lifting it. His breathing became fractionally more difficult. "We have immunity. I. Say. Yes." Once he was shirtless, I had access to the parts of him that I knew how to work with so he was so teased he caved into my desires.
"You are so stubborn, Roza!" he breathed while I attacked his torso with kisses and the gentle grazing of my fingertips ghosting over his defined muscles.
"And you can be so blind."
"It's still no, Roza. We're not the only ones a yes causes issues for. So no."
I groaned and roughly pushed myself off him. I forced myself to walk not run to the bedroom and grabbed a bag of my stuff. "I'm going to guest housing." I knew Dimitri would hear me even if he weren't following me in confusion.
"Rose..."
I shook my head and threw a couple of shirts and jeans in my bag. "I will only ever consider this with you; I would only ever want this with you. I DO only want this with you. My yes on this is as resolute as my wait on getting married." I added toiletries to my overnight bag. This wasn't the first time this argument had us spending a couple of nights apart. But it was the first time it had done it since we had officially moved in together at Court.
Dimitri wanted to move out into a house halfway between Court gates and Lehigh, as did I, but I wouldn't leave my Palace apartment unless we had at least gotten married, preferably I wanted to be pregnant before we lived apart from Lissa. She and Christian had no clear timeline for marriage and children yet, but I suspected one or the other would happen very soon. I did not want witnessing that to cause more friction that could pose a risk to my engagement.
I despised it when Dimitri and I fought, especially when he was being unreasonable. I liked spending a night apart because of a fight as much as I liked the fight in the first place. I loathed it.
I was barely twenty-one, but I had finally wrapped my head around wanting everything with Dimitri that he wanted. He thought I was blowing-off his concerns about rounding out my stomach with a baby, but I wasn't. I'd known for nearly four years that he wanted a family. For the last eighteen months I had especially known how much he wanted one with me. But for the last seventeen months I felt as though Dimitri wasn't taking my position on the issue seriously. I think he believed I was just humouring him. God knows I have almost zero parenting and child-rearing skills, and that that makes me scared of the little monsters. I knew what having Dimitri's baby could mean for everyone in my expansive friendship group... especially for my godson. I knew what risks society posed towards a child of mine and Dimitri's; the same as the threats Declan faced if his true identity was known publicly. I took that seriously into account. Even if Dimitri thought I didn't.
After a restless night and a very awkward and long morning shift, Dimitri and I finally had enough and sat down to lunch in a Palace exclusive eatery. Lissa let me run up a massive bill there because she hated when I didn't take what she considered enough food breaks. She tried to convince Dimitri to eat here too, but he'd just as readily eat Christian's cooking while he was on shift. He didn't.
"Roza..." Dimitri's warm brown eyes gazed lovingly at me from across the cozy round table, though they betrayed he'd had as much quality sleep last night as I did.
"Comrade."
Dimitri's hands found mine and he clasped them on top of the table. "I'm sorry, Rose. I didn't mean to drive you away last night. It's just... it's nearly unconscionable to... to bring someone into our world when... well, you know... knowing they will be subjected to testing and will be treated as a lab rat." Dimitri sighed.
Counselling was helping him vocalise his thoughts, his concerns, and accept that I will always listen and that sometimes I was right to be so tough on him when I knew what I was thinking and feeling, that I had considered things rationally and seriously. He was learning that he had a tendency to overthink and do so pessimistically. He was realizing that the mix is what tended to frustrate me most and made me resort to time out so I was able to gather myself. He knew that if I couldn't calm myself down then there was no way I could handle his panic attacks.
"I know, Dimitri," I smiled a small smile and squeezed his hands reassuringly. "I know. But you know what else I know?" He raised a single brow, hooked and interested in my classified knowledge. Good. "I also happen to know that we can handle it. Like we handle everything else. If we can't stop them wanting to run tests, then we can have Lissa restrict it; one DNA test and one blood test. That's it. That's all they'll get, or we leave. I promise, Dimitri."
He shook his head. "You wouldn't give this job up, Roza. I know you; you couldn't give up your career—it's your way of life and always has been."
I sighed before standing and moving to sit on his lap. PDA wasn't really Dimitri's thing, and I had gotten so used to resisting and hiding that I wasn't phased, though I revelled in the moments when we were just... Us. Now was one of those moments. His arms wrapped around my waist and held me as close to him as possible while my arms wound around his neck. I buried my head into the crook of his neck. "I would do a lot for you, Dimitri. I would give up everything to keep you happy and safe. Protecting a child from testing until they're old enough to protest on their own won't be easy, I know that, but I certainly know that having a little us to carry on our legacy will be worth it. We can have it all, Dimitri, and that's exactly what I've always wanted to give you. Remember Senior year? Do you remember the rooftop at the lodge; that kiss in the gym after Spokane?" I looked deeply into his emotionally-charged brown pools and brought my forehead down on his gently.
"Yeah." His accent thickened and his voice became husky. "I realized how much I love you and how selfish I could be when it comes to you. Why?"
I groaned. "Of course that's what's the most important to you." I still hated bringing Tasha into things— her betrayal still painfully stung us all. "I was ready to release you to her so you could get the most out of your life as is possible. And don't pretend as though I don't know how much you want a baby— I've seen you with your nieces and our godson."
"Our nieces, Roza. They've always also been your nieces."
I pulled back when I realized how he was hedging and attempting to avoid the confession. Again. "Dimitri. You've already confessed more than once."
"And I've known for as long as I've known you that you don't want a baby."
"I want yours! That was four years ago, Comrade. I wasn't ready then. But after all we've been through, I know I want everything with you. If we'd known about this before Yeva's wedding vision I would have been saying the same: wait. I never said I didn't want to marry you, I just warded you off until we were both at a more agreeable age and stage of life. You said it years ago after the charm that we were in different places, and we still were until Declan. I needed time to settle into my job as Lissa's most important guardian—especially when I had to adjust to not having the bond. I needed time to adapt to officially being in a relationship with you. And I just needed to be sure we could weather whatever trials our world threw at us."
Dimitri's right hand traced the side of my face, over my shoulder, and down my arm while he studied me thoughtfully. "You also needed us to find a rhythm and successful technique dealing with the trauma of all we went through... The last thing I wanted you to ever have to deal with is exactly what you did." His fingers ghosted up my arm, over my shoulder, and over the nape of my neck. My tattoos. "I set in motion the conditions that led to so many... far too many and far too young. If I could go back..." he sighed and shook his head, "you wouldn't even have anything except for the promise mark." He pulled out my ponytail and ran both hands through my long tangle of waves.
"I wouldn't be right here now if it weren't for you. You've taught me quite a few lessons, Comrade."
His lips twitched and a single laugh escaped. "Oh?" His eyes lightened with the same love that made him so serious. "Have I? I was under the impression I had been the student."
I grinned, nodded, and heartily laughed. "Yes." I pecked his lips, so absorbed in our rare public banter that I forgot all about propriety. So did Dimitri, apparently, because he tangled his hands in my hair and deepened the kiss.
"Yes," he breathed against my lips when we came back to reality. We could have gotten into serious trouble if Hans had seen... still could be in trouble if he heard about it. Though, he had turned so many blind eyes and feigned many deaf ears in the last few years. Just because he wanted to be on Lissa's good side; only she could fire me and Christian wouldn't dare fire Dimitri because it risked a nasty argument with Lissa and he avoided those at all costs.
"Yes?" My kiss-muddled brain couldn't keep up.
"Yes." He smiled ruefully. "I'm sick of fighting you on this. Yes, I do want your baby. I've wanted it for longer than I can remember. So yes." His smile tentatively grew.
"Yes? You're certain? You're absolutely certain?" I nearly laughed at the role reversal. About a year ago Dimitri was this stunned over my very easy, willing, and excited acceptance of his official, romantic dinner, on one-knee with a rockstar-ring proposal.
He chuckled with a wide, full, heart-warming smile plastered on his angelic face. "Completely, Roza. There's just one thing I ask for first."
I groaned. There was always a condition. Why were we like this? It was so damn frustrating. Lissa and Christian were more frustrated by the way we ran our relationship than we ever were. "What is it this time?" I burrowed into his chest, hiding in my hair.
He chuckled again before holding me even closer and kissing the top of my head. "Do this properly? I took your innocence when you were my underage student; I slept with you when you were in a relationship with my then-unbeknownst-to-us-all cousin. And let's not get into detail about how I wore your defences down. Marry me first, please Roza."
I groaned. "Why must you be such an honourable gentleman?"
"Because there's very little honour in much of the order of events in our relationship, Roza. Besides, your parents will need time to absorb our marriage before they can process us having a baby. There will be no course of action they can try that can split us."
"There's no splitting us anyway, and they know that!" I whined childishly.
"I know, Roza; I know." Sometimes his patience astounded me. Now was one of those times.
"I'll think about it," I grumbled.
That was a very mean compromise, and I was certain he knew it. We both wanted the baby, we both wanted to get married, we just didn't agree on the order. I had been planning and trying to put off the wedding until I was at least thirty. But now, now that he'd thrown the baby into the picture, I knew my resolve to wait that long wouldn't last. He knew, too. I knew that because he wouldn't have asked to do this traditionally if he didn't believe fully that I would set a date years earlier when he added the baby factor.
I threw the wedding planning guide and notes folder on kitchen table. "Roza?" asked a concerned Dimitri as he turned around from cooking dinner for us both.
"August twenty-sixth. Happy?"
Confusion clouded his godlike face.
"The wedding, Comrade. It took a lot of daddy's-Princess magic to get Abe to agree, so you'd better be happy with that date; he didn't even want to agree to having it that soon."
That's when realization dawned on him. "Three months? Really, Roza?" His small smile struggled to stay so tiny while he wrapped his head around the speed at which I was now letting our life hurtle forward.
"Yes, Dimitri. Three more months and then this engagement is over; no one will ever dare rip us apart again after that." Even I had to admit it was starting to sound like a very good idea to me.
All I'd ever wanted was the world to know he was mine, and getting married and starting our family was the best way to do it. I was sick of all the men still whistling at or making passes at me, just as much as Dimitri hated it. Just as much as I hated when women so much as glanced at Dimitri for half a second too long. Trust me, it had happened more often after we'd announced our engagement. My engagement ring may be a very big Back-Off sign, but only the wedding band would ward off amoral women trying to steal him from me. Worst of all, was that Dimitri still didn't realize that most new female company were flirting at him until I told him. How he knew when guys were trying to steal me but not when the roles were reversed, I didn't understand.
"You won't regret this, Roza," he grinned and swept me up into a hug.
I squealed and wrapped my legs around his waist. "Dimitri!"
"I promise, Roza. You won't regret this." He placed me on the bench next to where he was cooking on the stovetop. Both hands went to my thighs a fraction of a second before his lips landed on mine and locked them.
"You've got three months from then to get me pregnant. You better manage it before year's end," I teased breathlessly.
Dimitri laughed just as breathlessly. "On the condition that we're moved into the Cosy Home in time for the wedding night."
I pouted. "Costly Castle, you mean. Abe's decided he'll buy the mansion in the next street as the wedding present because the two-storey, four bedroom family home wasn't big enough or a grand enough engagement present," I groused.
It was almost as if Abe knew about our unique fertility situation and expected us to suddenly have our own clan of Belikov kids. Then again, if he did know—and I wouldn't be surprised if he did somehow know—large families is a Belikov/ Belikova tradition. My father was nothing if he wasn't thorough, knowing... and flashy. Everything that Costly Castle was. I don't want to repeat the digits he paid for it, even in my own mind.
Dimitri's eyebrow rose in intrigue, though his light blush indicated he knew the money was already spent.
"You don't want to know—it was way, way above asking price and I'd guess at least twice the average price for the street, closer to triple."
"We won't need two houses. Are you sure you couldn't stop him?"
I nodded. "We weren't getting the Cosy without the Costly, and I wasn't getting the wedding date without both. For a doting dad, he drives a very hard bargain."
Dimitri chuckled and pulled me off the bench, into his chest, and trapped me facing the stove while he returned to finishing off dinner. "You aren't so different, love. Do you realise how torturous it's been for me to get you to this place now?"
As soon as the wedding was over and we'd returned from our honeymoon, Dimitri and I moved into the mansion. As absurdly flashy as it was, the way we'd furnished it—not escaping Abe's paying for everything we chose—made it homey and liveable, warm even and have the illusion of being smaller than it actually was. Two weeks later, we'd decided on what to do with the Cosy Home in the meantime. As Guardians—even as the Queen and her consort's—we weren't paid much. But, after spending most of the fortnight researching, we discovered we could make a minimum of our combined weekly wage by renting out our second house—and the houses were in our names despite Abe's financial... contribution. And so, with the aid of a human real estate agency, we set about our new endeavour, our latest adventure.
Much to Abe's annoyance when we told him what we'd done. Mom however, despite her firm and unwavering dedication to the Moroi, took our side—the financial burden every Guardian endures was something she truly could empathise with us about and was the most understanding of our, well my considering she'd finally regained her regard of any and every decision Dimitri made, course of action. Janine Hathaway had actually smiled approvingly at me for once and outright told me it was a very wise decision.
"Especially considering the extra financial burden a child will place on you." She sipped at her coffee and narrowed her eyes knowingly, somehow simultaneously drinking said coffee and nodding down to my apple juice.
I pursed my lips. "Who said anything about a child?" It was just us two as Abe had taken Dimitri outside for a 'walk and friendly father-in-law and son-in-law chat'.
Janine straightened up in her chair. Uh oh, was all I could think. "Rosemarie," she began carefully, her eyes, expression and voice guarded, "your father has told me some very interesting theories he has—and when it comes to you and..." her disgruntlement showed despite her best efforts, "your husband, I wouldn't be too surprised these days—I've seen both of you do some previously unbelievable, unimaginable, and impossible things."
"Ugh—spit it out, Mom."
Again her eyes zeroed in on the apple juice I'd almost finished—reminding me I needed another one. "You're pregnant," she stated bluntly. There was the typical Janine Hathaway I knew—and oddly preferred. Also, I must admit I was stunned that there wasn't an ounce of accusation in her voice, like I'd been expecting.
I gulped. "No I'm not!" I whispered defensively. At least, not that I'm aware of.
"Rosemarie Belikova," she warned sternly, shocking me by acknowledging I'd taken Dimitri's surname, and followed the weird Russian language conventions whilst doing so. "Do not lie to me—apple juice was my preferred drink when I was pregnant with you." She now shrugged. "Besides, I can see the changes in your body—your black-and-white clings far more than it did even three days ago."
Ugh. Now that she pointed it out, yes, my formal attire did feel tighter, more uncomfortable. What I didn't want to know is that she already thought I was becoming a whale. My hands fell to my stomach and I eyed it and gently pressed it wonderingly. Maybe she was right after all. Maybe, after years of disagreements, it was finally happening.
My mother grunted. "You hadn't realized?"
Shocked from my reverie and musing, I jerked my head up to meet her gaze. "I've been kinda busy, you know—becoming a landlord and wife on top of working out certain... plans with Christian and Dimitri I'm not yet allowed to tell Lissa. I haven't had reason to consider." I'd been far too busy to notice anything potentially out of whack these past two weeks.
After finding out we were fertile together—especially considering Lissa and Dimitri had demanded with the highest authority I be the next one to be vaccinated; I'd only held my tongue about it in order to pacify Dimitri, after all, he'd been furious when Sydney had chosen Neil—Dimitri and I had taken every precaution to avoid getting pregnant. That was, until I'd set a date for the wedding and we'd gone in the opposite direction. We were both doing whatever we could to increase our chances, which had meant we'd spent almost our entire honeymoon in bed and we were... experimenting nearly every moment at that, due to some very challenging abstinence after setting the wedding date. Apparently, it had worked better than we could ever imagine if my mother was right.
"So," Janine coughed, pulling me back to reality.
"So, what?"
"I was right to think you'd have a baby with Ivashkov blood, after all."
I hissed before I could stop myself. I despised my Moroi father-in-law—he's was good for only one thing, two at most; making Olena pregnant with Dimitri to gift to the world (because really, he hadn't truly participated in creating the Dimitri I fell in love with), and putting right (only through his direct blood connections), and the relationship Adrian and I had—the familial love we shared that we'd come to realize was just that.
"Mother—you know how we feel about that!"
"It's true though, Rosemarie—you have to accept that."
I groaned. Could I smack some sense into her? "I don't mind being Adrian's cousin-in-law, but being Nathan's niece-in-law and Randall's daughter-in-law is bad—very, very, very bad." I sighed before continuing. "I have actually come to really like Aunt Daniella," I admitted. I even called her that in private and it had helped strengthen our acquaintance into something more. "I'm not ashamed of my child being related to her." No matter how extended through marriage. "But Nathan and Randall are something else." And not in a good way.
Daniella and I had somehow worked through the issues that had arisen from Tasha framing me and me outing Eric's accidental affair and it's result—Jill. She had come to understand that spirit could be... treated, and nothing could stop it manifesting as a specialisation in other Moroi. She was still yet to embrace Lissa as Queen, but we were working on it; her acceptance of Lissa as Queen had come after she'd embraced Sydney as her daughter-in-law and became thankful for all Lissa had done to maintain the peace between the Alchemists and Moroi, no matter how strained the peace was in the first place. Adrian was safe and still held all his royal rights and that mattered greatly to Daniella.
It didn't take long for Lissa to catch up on my new reality. Mom had been right—multiple home tests had proved so. Dimitri had become much more protective of me, almost overbearingly so. It left me wondering if my aura gave me away to her or Dimitri's very conspicuous behaviour. This was just the start, but I knew the effort would be worth it; with all my heart, soul, and being I knew it was worth it. Our baby, our child, our family; no one was going to be allowed to tear us apart.