Eileen started the crying up again. “Not a prude anymore! She just admitted to fucking my boyfriend while we dated.” I shook my head, trying to get my voice to work, but my brain was only focusing on trying to get me to keep breathing—never mind the tears wetting my cheeks.
Alec scowled, “You’re fucking kidding me right?” He said to me. “You can fuck someone that’s taken but you couldn’t fuck me?” He started walking towards me and I backed away holding my hand out. No, no! Get away from me! Stop! Greg stepped in his path before Alec could reach me.
“Hey, leave her alone, yeah?”
“Get the fuck out of my way.” He pushed Greg out of his path and was in front of me in seconds gripping at my arm. I coward away from him, but he grabbed my face, turning it so I was looking him in the eyes. “Who—” A hand was on his shoulder, spinning him around.
“I said leave her alone.” Greg shouted.
“Are you the one she’s fucking?!” I tried to tell them to stop, I really did but I couldn’t breathe. I ignored Greg and Alec, and now Zayn, as they got into a shouting match and tried to pull my arm out of Alec’s grip.Breathe. Stop crying. Breathe I told myself. Do not have a panic attack here. Keep it together.
“Oh, Niall!” Eileen said suddenly. I looked up to see Niall, Harry and Marcel standing in the doorway of the theater, eyes wide at the scene before them. Greg, Zayn and Alec stopped screaming and looked at them too.
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!” Niall shouted. Suddenly the extra people started scattering, most leaving, but some just wanting a better view.
“Oh is that him?” Alec laughed. He yanked on my arm, pulling me into his side before putting an arm around me. “You should never downgrade.” He whispered in my ear, making me shudder. I started hyperventilating as he kissed my temple; whimpering as I tried to fight out of his grasp. My muscles were too weak from my lack of air though, doing nothing to help me.
“Get off her!” Niall yelled, coming towards us. For a second, I was relieved to have Niall coming forward to help me, but Eileen stepped in front of him, placing her hands on her shoulders, whispering something that he paid no attention to. I looked around at the extra people just standing and watching.
“Help me,” I mouthed to a random person as I cried and struggled to breathe. They just grabbed their group of friends before walking out the door. No…please…
Alec’s lips were at my ear, “I don’t even have to ask to know I was better than him.” I made a last effort to push him away but he just grabbed onto my hands before pressing his lips to mine. My whole body convulsed, breaking down at his aggressive touch. My brain screamed at me to push him away, but before I could, his lips detached from me as a fist nailed him in the jaw.
I screamed at the hand in my face and flinched, thinking it would punch me too, but when I looked it was Marcel shaking his hand as he looked down at Alec rubbing his face. He turned his gaze to me, “Holy shit.” He whispered. What?! WHAT?! “Hunter, Jesus fucking Christ. Breathe!” Marcel said shaking me a bit. “Oh my god. Niall!”
“EILEEN, MOVE!” I heard Niall shout. He was in front of my in a second gripping my face. “Hey, hey, you’re alright. Shh, breathe. Everything’s okay.” My eyes started dipping closed as my whole body went limp. Stop it, Hunter! Don’t pass out! “No, Hunter stay with me,” he rushed. Through half closed eyes I stared at him. Keep your eyes open.
He suddenly scooped me up in his arms and told Marcel something, but I wasn’t conscious long enough to hear what he said.
——
I woke with a start, gasping for air as my eyes popped open. The first thing I saw was the inside roof of the car and a couple streets lights passing by as the car moved. Oh my god, they’re kidnapping me!
“No!” I shouted, jolting up and reaching for the door handle. I pulled frantically trying to open the door but the lock kept it sealed. “Let me out! Please!” I looked around and my eyes landed on Niall, sitting in the truck space with a sleeping Marcel.
“It’s okay.” Niall whispered coming towards me. “We’re going home. You’re alright.” He reached for me and I saw a flash Alec reaching for me, like he did two years ago. I flinched away. Pain took over Niall’s features as he shook his head. “No, no it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“She might need some space,” Greg’s voice said from the driver’s seat.
Niall shook his head again, “I’m not going to hurt you.” He said again, rising on his knees to sit right behind the seat. Alec’s face flashed into my sight again and I moved away from him. “Don’t run away from me, Hunter.” He begged.
“Niall,” Harry said from the front. “Greg’s right. She just needs space.”
“Why would she need space from me?” He snapped. “I’m trying to help. I’m not the one—”
“Don’t shout. You’ll scare her.” Greg cut off. Niall’s eye locked on mine, looking lost and unsure of what to do. “We’ll take her home and let her parents help her.” With a small nod, Niall went back to sit with Marcel, who had ice wrapped around his hand. The memory played in my mind, seeing him punch Alec in the face, looking angrier than I’d ever seen.
I drew my knees into my chest as I tried to keep my breathing steady. Embarrassment, shame and self-hate filled me when I realized that I let Alec do this to me again. Not too much later, I stared out the window as we pulled into Niall’s drive way. I heard Greg and Harry get out of the front. Greg opened the door for me while Harry opened the trunk to let Niall and Marcel out.
“Marcel, wake up.” He mumbled. There was a groan before I heard the ruffling of them clambering out.
“Hunter?” Greg said gently, like he was talking to a terrified child. “C’mon, honey, you can get out now.” I glanced around before stepping down, out of the car. My legs wobbled a little, but I managed to keep standing.
I swallowed before turning to face all of them, trying to pretend like I was okay so they’d stop worrying. “Congrats on the show. You were great.” I croaked. “Goodnight.” Slowly, I turned around and headed towards my front door. Bickering started behind me, but I kept walking.
“…can at least walk her to the fuckin’ door.”
“She fragile, you have to let her deal with it.”
“And I can’t be there to help her deal with it?”
“She’s got her family Niall. It’s not like she’s alone.”
“I don’t give a…” I quickly fished my key out of my back pocket and jammed it into the door. My shoulder was shoved into the door and I rushed inside before closing it behind me. Before I could even blink Chip and Louis were in my face.
“What the fuck happened?”
“What did he do to you?”
“Where is he?”
“Did he hurt you?”
“Niall called us and said—”
I let out a couple quick breaths before pushing past them and going into the kitchen. With shaky hands I got a glass out of the cabinet and held it under the faucet, letting it fill up with water.
“Hunter,” Chips stern voice startled me, causing the glass to slip from my hand. Luckily it didn’t break, but my hand was too wobbly to actually hold it, so I gave up. “Hunter, you have to tell us what happened.” A hand was on my back, and all my eyes saw was Alec, making me flinch away.
“HG, tell us what’s going on.” I gulped and turned away from them and looked out the back door.
“Eileen was there,” my tiny voice spoke. “And she made a scene, and now everyone that was there thinks I fucked Niall while he was dating Eileen.” I shook my head as tears started welling up. Stop crying. “But I didn’t.”
“Is that why you had a panic attack? Because everything thinks that?”
I crossed my arms, “That’s when it started.” I continued. “Then Alec walked in and…he was in my face and grabbing my arm and shouting with Greg and Zayn. He wouldn’t let go. And then he kissed me and my body stopped working and—”
“Where is he?” Chip demanded through gritted teeth. I glanced at him and Louis. They’d never looked so much like twins as they do now. They both wore the same murderous scowl, with fists clenched at their sides and feet shoulder width apart. I closed my eyes, but opened them quickly when Alec’s face was all I pictured.
“I don’t know.” I mumbled, my bottom lip trembling. Both of their faces softened at the same time, and I could tell that they just wanted to hug me…but I can’t deal with being touched right now. “I was scared.” I said with a wobbly voice.
“Hunter…” Chip said stepping forward, in flinched away but he stood his ground. “Hunter we’re going to make him regret coming near you again. He’s not getting away with this.” I looked away from both of them so they wouldn’t see the way I was breaking down.
Louis cleared his throat. “Are you still…” he trailed off. “Should we wake Mom and Dad up?”
I shook my head, “No, I’m fine. I’m going to bed.” Before they could say anything else I rushed out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I walked into my room, closing the door behind me and leaning against it. The darkness made my heart pound in fear as I felt like someone else was in here. I quickly flicked the light on, only to find I was in fact alone.
Not this paranoia again. I quickly undressed and climbed into bed, keeping the light on. Two years ago, after the Alec thing, I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing his face or feeling like he was near me—it was hard for me to let some people touch me. I thought I’d gotten over that. But now that I was inches from Alec merely a half hour ago, all that fear was coming back.
For hours I laid on my back, so I could see the whole room, glancing around when I felt like he was near me. I tried to fight off sleep, afraid he’d taint my dreams like he did last time. The only thing keeping me awake was wondering what Niall was doing. I thought about whether or not he was dressed for bed or not, and tried glue the image of him on stage to the back of my eyelids every time I blinked.
I felt terrible for rejecting his comforting in the car. He was only trying to make me feel better, but I was too deep in my post-panic-attack mental distortion. I rolled my head to the said and looked at the clock. It was two-forty in the morning. He was probably sleeping. My hands felt around in my sheets for my phone. There was a slim possibility that he was awake, so I went on that as I sent him a text message.
Me: hug
I hesitated before pressing send, but once it was delivered I regretted sending it. He probably didn’t want to talk to me. Why would he when I rejected him? I looked up at the ceiling, telling myself to apologize to him tomorrow. I can’t have us drifting apart like this with two weeks left…actually now it’s thirteen days.
Minutes later, my phone vibrated, making me gasp.
Niall: come open the door
I smiled sadly at my phone as I rose out of bed and basically ran to the door. My feet carried me quickly down the stairs, and towards the back door. His forehead was resting against the glass; eyes half closed as he watched me slide the door open. He was in his normal sleeping outfit with hair all over his head making it clear I’d woken him up.
His eyes stared down at me. Neither of us moved, but I was the one to break the silence.
“You didn’t have to come over.” I whispered. “You look tired.”
“So do you.” He croaked. “Why aren’t you asleep?”
I looked down at the floor, “I can’t sleep…I—I’m afraid I’ll get nightmares like last time.” He tensed in front of me but stayed silent. A whole minute of silence went by before I stepped back to let him in. He lazily dragged his bare feet inside as he closed the door behind him.
“Do you…want to talk about it?” he questioned quietly, not knowing what to do. He stared at me, looking desperate for me to say something. “Let me help.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a fat white candle and holding it out for me. “I um…brought a candle…like I said I would.” He cleared his throat, “It’s vanilla.” I gave him a weak smile as I took the candle, cradling it in both my hands.Oh, Niall…you’re too good. “I’m so sorry, Hunter.” I let out a shaky breath as I stared at candle in my hands.
My skin was suddenly burning for him. I needed him to take away how dirty and contaminated I felt from having Alec’s hands on me. My bottom lip quivered as I closed the gap between us and hugged his waist, closing my eyes. I desperately shoved away Alec’s face from the back of my eyelids and told myself it was Niall. It’s okay, it’s Niall. It’s Niall. He didn’t hesitate to hug me back, letting out a seemingly relieved sigh.
“Will you sleepover?” I whispered. He nodded before releasing me and gripping my hand to lead me upstairs. We tiptoed into my room, closing the door behind us. “Leave it on.” I rushed when he went to turn the light off.
“It’s okay. Look,” his eyes scanned the room. “No one’s in here but you and me.” He turned the light off anyway and pulled me towards my bed, both of us lying on top of the covers as he took my candle away and placed it next to my alarm clock. “Turn over,” He whispered. I turned away from him, knowing what he was asking for, but still couldn’t suppress my flinch when he pulled be back, into his chest. “You’re alright, baby girl,” he whispered sleepily. “G’night.”
I smiled desolately at his sleepy voice. “Goodnight.” His hand found my and weaved our fingers together as he kissed my shoulder until he fell asleep.
——
——
I didn’t end up sleeping but I did manage to keep Alec out of my mind. What did occupy my thoughts was what Eileen said. It had nothing to do with the fact that she lied in front everyone and probably made me the town whore. I didn’t care about that—I knew the truth. What I actually focused on was all the places she said she fucked Niall in his house. It didn’t make me upset, it pissed me off. I was terribly jealous that she had him like that in so many places. As long as I’ve wanted him—in different ways—she still had him more intimately than I did in only a matter of two weeks.
His bed! I slept in that four days ago…and I’m just realizing that it’s been dirtied with Eileen…juices. It disgusted me, but more so, I was seeing green. Why won’t he fuck me from the ceiling like he’d probably done to her? Just because my number of people I’ve had sex with is a little low for an American nineteen year old, doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m doing. I read 50 Shades of Grey; I know more thanhe probably does!
I was getting heated. That’s exactly what it was; he didn’t think I was ready—like I was some delicate little flower. Oh, no. I don’t fucking think so. Alec was the only one I wasn’t ready for. And I can swear on my life when I say I was more than ready for Niall. It’s getting ridiculous how ready I was….right now.
He shifted in his sleep next to me, rolling on his back. I glared at him. Yeah, just go on and sleep while you probably have your smug little dreams. We’ll see who ends up smug this time around… I sat up and straddled his hips, grinded down onto him. I glanced at the clock to see it was just barely five in the morning—not even my parents were awake yet.
Niall groaned in his sleep and I thought back to after Brice’s dinner when I made a groan like that leave his throat. Goddamn it, Niall. Wake up. I leaned down and licked from the base of his neck to the spot under his earlobe, nibbling at the fleshy part of his ear. He groaned again turned he head to mine to catch my lips in a lazy kiss.
“What are you doing to me?” He said with a raspy morning voice. Oh shit. I didn’t answer, but I lifted my hips and reached down, snaking my hand under the bands of his shorts and underwear to take hold of him. His eyes popped open as he stared into mine. I felt him hardening in my hand as his mind drifted and I gave him a small smile as I started to pump.
“You’re parents…they’re just down that hall…and C.L.”
“Then be quiet.” I whispered, tightening my hand around him. I connected our lips again, kissing him hard and nibbling his bottom lip before pulling away to rest my forehead on his. “Fuck me, Niall.” I whispered. I could feel his veins starting to become more prominent under my hand as his eyes widened.
“Uh…” He gulped. “This might not be the best time.”
I stopped my hand and scowled at him, “You could fuck Eileen on every surface of your house. Some of that probably happened at ‘not the best time’.” I said quietly but harshly.
“Wait—what? Is that what this is about?” I reared up and ripped his shorts and boxers down, taking all of him in my mouth, balls deep. “Shit, Hunter, slow down.” I pulled back.
“Did you go slow with Eileen?” I bit back.
“Who cares? Why does it matter what I did with her?”
I licked him from base to tip before pumping him with my hand, “Because I know you care about what I did with Rico.” His eyes hardened. “You’re not the only one that gets jealous.”
“You want me to fuck you because you’re jealous of Eileen?” I froze and stared into his increasingly annoyed eyes.
“I want you to fuck me period.” His breathing hitched in his throat as he tried to keep his hips still. “What’s the matter?” I said sweetly as I gently gripped his balls. “Don’t think you can handle me?” He suddenly flipped me over and pinned me to the bed, kicking his shorts and underwear off. He’s completely naked…oh my god.
“This is how you want it?” he grunted. “For me to just fuck you here and now.” I nodded and reached down, taking my shorts off. Shit, this is really about to happen…
“Yeah.” I whispered.
He stated at me for a long, not moving or anything. What are you thinking? His eyes softened as he finally spoke. Alec’s face flashed into my mind and I tensed trying to push the image away. It’s okay; It’s Niall. Niall hung his head, his hair brushing my forehead before looking back into my eyes.
“No, I don’t want it like this.” My mouth fell open. “I can’t just fuck you, Hunter. You are too much to me to just fuck you like you’re Eileen.” He bent his arms so he was leaning on his forearms.
“But now you’ve got me hard with all your ‘fuck me’ talk and you can’t just leave me like this.” He lowered his hips and rubbed himself over my black lacy underwear. A groan bubbled into chest as his eyes fluttered closed. I suddenly realized he was right. Niall and I are not like how he was with Eileen. We had something different—so just fucking wouldn’t do.
I felt foolish, like a horny little kid.
“We can do this though.” He whispered, increasing the pressure at which he rubbed himself against me. I gasped surprised by how good it felt. His hips rolled into my clothed center, not actually going in, but giving me just the perfect amount of friction.
“Oh my god…” I breathed.
He buried his face in my neck, leaving hot open mouthed kisses against my skin. “Shh, shh…your parents. We can’t wake them up.” I nodded and cradled his head to me, losing my fingers in his hair. His hips continued their slow pace as we rubbed our way closer to the edge. “I’m so fuckin’ tired.” He groaned randomly, between thrusts. I bit gently into his shoulder to keep from laughing.
“Faster.” I whispered. “Go faster, Niall.” He did what I asked, crossing his arms under me as he gripped the sheets for leverage and he picked up the pace. Loud breaths left my mouth with each thrust and I felt his fanning against my neck too. I lifted my hips, meeting him half way and increasing the pressure.
“Fuck,” he said into my neck.
“Flip over,” I mumbled, pushing his shoulder until he was on his back. He sighed at the temporary loss of contact, but I was straddling him before he could even let the whole breath out. I placed my hands on his chest as I rubbed my center against him, going much faster than he was. He bit his lip as he watched me roll my body in only the short thin t-shirt I was wearing—probably seeing my nipples though it. Oh god…
I continued swiveling my hips on him, biting my lip as he did to keep my moans subsided. His hands moved to my waist, but before they settle I gripped his wrists and brought his hands up to cup my bare breasts over my shirt. He squeezed a little, making me puff out a breath as I looked up at the ceiling.
We may not have been making noise, but I knew if someone walked past my door they would hear a shitload of panting and wonder what the hell was going on. Dear God, Jesus and Zeus, please let everyone stay asleep…
“’m almost there.” Niall grunted quietly. I nodded quickly. Without any warning, I was under him again and he was forcefully rubbing himself over my clothed center. My face screwed up as I fell unexpectedly over the edge and he kissed me lazily to mask my moans. Only seconds later, hot, sticky liquid spilled between us wetting the front of my underwear and my lower stomach, a small grunt leaving his mouth.
He fell next to me and I stared at my ceiling as he pecked my sweaty shoulder, puffs of air leaving his nose. We didn’t talk for a while, until our breathing steadied. Exhaustion hit me like a train.
“That was fifty times better than anything I did with Eileen.” He breathed. I smirked inwardly.That’s a big FUCK YOU to Eileen. I rolled my head to the side and looked him in the eye. His eyes were dropping sleepily; he was thoroughly fucked too.
“What’s the staring abou—” Before he could finish, I moved my hand down to my stomach, running my fingers through the white streams over my skin, before sticking them in my mouth to lick them clean. Niall’s eyes widened, “You’re so hot.” He whispered. I smiled before getting up to wipe the rest of his load off me with a dirty t-shirt. I turned away from him as I pulled my wet underwear off and threw them in the hamper before getting out another pair.
“Wow, look how pale your ass is.” He laughed. I gasped and quickly pulled up my fresh panties before facing him.
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t.” He smirked. “You don’t hate people you want to fuck.” I rolled my eyes and slipped my shorts on before throwing his boxers and basketball shorts at him.
“Get out of my house before my family sees you and has a heart attack because you slept in my room.” He laughed but got ‘dressed’ and headed toward the door. “Wait, hug…for…yesterday…” I said. His smugness dropped as he rushed towards me, wrapping me in a bear hug and lifting me a little. “Thank you for the candle, Ni.”
“Anytime, babe. I’ll see you later today, okay?” He kissed my cheek. “Get some sleep.” Shit, I haven’t slept yet and it’s almost five-thirty… His eyes locked on mine and I felt the mood shift to deadly serious.
“I like you.” He whispered, hooking his hand around the back of my neck and really kissing me, his tongue massaging mine.
He likes me? Is that…what…?
“I like you too.” I said back, still not knowing if there was some other meaning behind it. He smiled and kissed me one more time, and then he was gone. I frowned a little as I went and flopped onto my bed, instantly drifting to sleep.
What the fuck does ‘I like you’ mean?