I collapsed on my beach towel, ignoring the fact that some sand had gotten on it. Panting and sweaty, I flipped over on my back and looked over at Brice to see she was just as exhausted as I was. We’d just finished running the whole length of the avenue on the beach. I’m pretty in-shape, but that was just a little much for me. Brice also insisted we do it in bikinis since that what we’ll be doing during the volleyball tournament in a couple days. I can only imagine how sore I would be if I wasn’t already in shape.
“Let’s take the day off tomorrow Brice.” I offered.
She laughed, throwing an arm over her eyes. “Yes, that would be good.” I nodded, relieved. We laid there for what felt like forever, trying to catch our breath. I listened to the sound of people walking by, most of the guys saying perv-y things loud enough for us to hear, but I didn’t really care.
“Holy shit.” Someone said. I opened my eyes just in time to see Niall running up and driving on top of me with Ana and Liam close behind him. I groaned when he landed on my slightly sore body.
“You look so hot right now,” He whispered in my ear. I gasped and he caught me completely by surprise when he grasped my face in his hands, kissing me hard. WHAT! I should push him away…I have to…I will…in a second…
Unfortunately the kiss only lasted a second before he pulled away to sit next to me. I was out of breath, both from the run and the kiss. He just kissed me in public, on the beach! If only that lasted longer—it could’ve been so romantic and sweet. I shook my head, I can’t keep thinking like that.
I glance over at Brice and Liam to see they were having their own energetic conversation; they probably didn’t even see what Niall did. I pouted a little.
“Banana, say hi, please.” Niall asked Ana who was standing just behind him, licking and ice cream cone. She was dressed in the cutest little flowered swimsuit, and I just wanted to reach out and hug her. I gave her a smile, but she did her usual hide-in-Niall’s-neck thing. I wish I could do that…
“Wow she really doesn’t talk around her.” Liam said. “She was just talking before we came over here.” I only shrugged.
“She thinks you’re pretty.” I blushed as I stared at Niall. I didn’t want to believe him, but he smiled and looked at Ana, putting a hand on her small back. “Right, Ana?” She peeked at me before giving me a small nod.
“Aw, thank you Ana.” I gushed. Niall picked her up and sat her in his lap so he could hug around her as she ate her ice cream. My heart melted at the sight—guys and kids will always be my weakness. “She’s so cute, Niall.” I smiled.
He smiled, “Not sure if I should say thanks to that or not.” I rolled my eyes. “I take it you’re doing the volleyball tournament?” His eyes lit up with pure happiness and excitement as he glanced from me to Brice, then back again. I nodded. “I’ll definitely be there to see that.” He smirked.
“What does that mean?” Brice teased.
“It means…we’ll be cheering our mates on.” Liam laughed. “As we usually do.”
“Is Eileen playing?” Niall asked. I glanced at Brice before shaking my head. “Nice.” Nice? He ducked his head down, taking a lick from Ana’s ice cream. She yanked it out of his reach only causing it to fall in the sand. “Uh oh, see what happens when you don’t share?” Her bottom lip started to quiver, making my heart break.
“Don’t cry, Ana. I’ll buy you another one,” I offered standing up. “Sound good?” She nodded. After fishing a pair of shorts—with my phone and wallet in them— and a shirt out of my bag, I slipped them on and held my hand out for her. I thought she would flinch away, but I’m glad she didn’t and put her tiny hand in mine. “Are you coming?” I said to Niall.
“Sure,” He smiled.
——
“Niall…” I mumbled as we walked down the avenue. It was strangely empty compared to other days. Ana gripped my hand tightly as she skipped between Niall and me.
“I know that voice…” He sighed. “What did I do now?”
“You know what you did…and you can’t keep—”
He looked at me, “Why not?”
“Eileen…” I said slowly with mock patience, like I was talking to a child. “She wouldn’t like that.”She would hire someone to KILL me if she found out!
“We’re not exclusive though.” He said simply. “I can kiss whoever I want.”
“But it’s me you’re kissing and she’d be pissed.”
“Wait,” He stopped walking, and I stood there wondering what his problem was. “Are you mad that I kissed you? Did you not want me to?” The smugness vanished from his voice and was replaced with concern.
I shook my head, “It’s not that, Niall. Eileen and I just…it would just be better if you didn’t do that. I tell you this every time you do it and you just don’t listen.” I started walking again, tugging Ana along. He was next to me in a second, staring at me. I glanced at him, “Don’t give me that look.”
“What look?”
“The I’m-sorry-please-forgive-me look. I’m not mad.”
“That’s not the look I’m giving. I’m giving that why-are-you-so-hard-to-get look.” I tripped over nothing, making him chuckle a little. He’s trying to get me? You could have me is you’d just stop hooking up with Eileen! “Mixed with the when-are-you-going-to-tell-me-what-she-did-to-you eyes.”
“I don’t think that’s a good conversation to have with a two year old walking with us.” I mumbled. “And anyway, I’m giving you the use-you-non-exclusive-freedom-on-someone-else look.” He rolled his eyes but said nothing. We were silence the rest of the walk to the ice cream shop and I held the door open for the both of them. I was less than happy to see the line was so long, but I wasn’t in a big hurry to go anywhere.
Ana tugged on Niall’s shorts and raised her tiny arms, silently asking him to big her up. Niall shook his head, “Not sure what that means Banana. You’ll have to speak up.” She pouted and smacked him in the calf. “Oh no, you broke me leg,” his voice filled with fake agony. Ana wasn’t assumed though, so she turned to me, lifting her arms up for me.
I smiled and leaned down to pick her up, perching her on my hip. Niall frowned at me. “I couldn’t say no.”
“You’re too soft.” I rolled my eyes for what felt like the millionth time today. Just to occupy myself I looked around the shop, glancing at the people sitting in chairs and getting in line. There was a group of guys to my left, laughing loudly at each other. I hope it’s that funny. One of them look familiar, which is kind of stupid of me to say since I can only see the back of his head. I stared at him, waiting for him to turn his head, growing a bit anxious. Who is that? The voice in the back of my head had suspicions, but I didn’t want to jump to conclusions.
Suddenly he whipped around and all the blood left my face. It was Alec—of all people. I ducked my head lower, hoping Ana was shielding me. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I stepped in front of Niall, trying to get on the other side of him.
“What are you doing?” He laughed.
“I want to stand on this side.”
He gave me a confused look, but moved over to give me a little space. “Uh, alright.” I peeked around him and saw Alec had turned back around, going back to laughing with his idiot friends. He didn’t see me, thank God. I let out a breath, glad that we were finally towards the front of the line. This’ll be over soon, just don’t draw attention to yourself.
“Which flavor Banana?” Niall asked. Ana peered into the glass with a cute little frown on her face. She looks just like Niall when she does that. She smacked against the glass, not really pointing to anything. “What color?” Niall pried. She just smacked the glass some more and I glanced over at Alec to see if the sound was catching his attention. I was glad to see it wasn’t. Maybe I should help Ana out so she can stop doing that.
“White?” She shook her head. “Brown?” She shook her head. “Pink?” Her face lit up. “You want strawberry?” She nodded happily with a big grin.
“Hunter, make her talk.” Niall grumbled.
I pushed his shoulder lightly, “Can you relax?” My words echoed through my head for a second. I’m the one that needs to relax; I’m the one freaking out over a two-year-old’s glass smacking catching the attention of a twenty-one year old asshole. I took a deep breath before stepping in front of the register. “Hi can I have a small strawberry cone?”
After I paid, I took the ice cream from the cashier and gave it to Ana. She looked happier than I’ve ever seen and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Can she eat it here?” Niall asked.
“NO!” I rushed and he gave me a confused look. I glanced at Alec; he still hadn’t looked over here. “I um…should see how Brice is…”
“What would happen to her with Liam there?” I groaned and grabbed his arm, moving him in Alec line of view to me—just in case he turned around—as we walked out. “Are you hiding from someone?” How did he put that together? I pulled him through the door as I tried to balance Ana on my hip. “Hunter.”
“What?” I mumbled distractedly as we passed the window, making sure Alec hadn’t seen us.
“Did you see someone you knew? Want to go back?”
We were in the clear, “No, let’s just go back to the beach.”
“You’re bein’ so weird.” He muttered.
“Let it go, Niall.”
——
We made it back to our spot on the beach where Brice and Liam were laying on her towel together. I laughed when I saw Liam was sound asleep. “He’s going to get burnt.” I warned.
“He is fine. He put sun screen on…or I put it on.” I bounced an eyebrow at her. I knew she liked Liam, but she’s never really done anything about it. They’ve been flirting for three years; it’s only a matter of time before they finally fall into each other’s arms.
I sat on my own towel, Niall and Ana following suit. “I’ll have to text you later Brice.” I mumbled quietly.
“Because?”
“I have to tell you something.” She nodded, leaving it at that, but Niall frowned at me. “Why the face?”
“You’re bein’ so weird.” He said again.
“No, I’m not.”
“Whatever.” He mumbled. “What are you doing after this?”
Yes! Subject change. “I have a Skype date!” Niall’s frown deepened. “With my friend from home,” I added. “A girl…”
“Oh…” What’s wrong with him?
“Um…you can come if you want…”
He lit up, “What time?”
“Ten…”
“I’ll be—” Niall was cut short by Ana’s giggling as she messed with Liam while he slept—it was the first sound she’s ever made around me. I laughed as Liam’s face scrunched up in his sleep. “Ana, don’t mess with him! He’ll eat you!” She squealed with laughter and I hugged myself inside with joy. She’s so cute!
——
Niall wandered around my basement as I messaged my friend Teddy—Theodora.
Teddy: How’s the trip?! I miss you!!
Me: It’s been interesting actually…
Teddy: That doesn’t sound good :\
Me: It’s had its ups and downs. More ups than downs…and the downs really aren’t that bad
Teddy: What’s your version of a down?
Me: Um…the guy I like hooking up with Eileen…
Teddy: YOU LIKE A GUY?! WHO???????
Me: I’ll show you him in a second, he’s here with me.
Teddy: ew, why is he with Evil Eileen?
Teddy: I hate a love triangle lol
Me: he’s technically not WITH her. They just hook up a lot. He says they’re not exclusive though
Teddy: which means you can hook up with him…
Me: I can’t though. Eileen would kill me. The three of us went to the movies and she almost shot me every time he looked in my direction. And they go on dates regularly…..
Teddy: FUCK EILEEN! Why are you even friends with her?!
Me: I’m not. I mentally broke up with her like two weeks ago
Me: it would just cause drama if I let that happen and you know I hate that…especially in the summer. He’s a good friend anyway. I’m fine with having him as at least that.
Teddy: so….you’re friendzoneing him…
Me: Why does everyone say I do that?!!!!!
Teddy: BECAUSE YOU DO!
Me: he’s the one that friendzoned me…
“Isn’t a Skype date when you do the video…?” Niall grumbled.
“Are you eager to meet my friend or something?”
“I just want to see how you’re like on the other side.”
I crossed my arms, “What does that mean?” He only shrugged. “I’m the same.” At least I think I am. No, I am… My screen lit up as Teddy called me. “Get over here.” I pressed accept and Niall flopped next to me.
“What’s her name?” Teddy popped up before I could answer.
“Is this him?” She said.
I flushed with embarrassment. “Uh…this is Niall. Niall, my friend Teddy.”
“Hello!” He said. “Nice to meet one of Hunter’s friends.”
“Oh wow…” She mumbled, gawking shamelessly at him. I gave her a look as I silently but desperately asked her to stop. She composed herself before giving me a wicked grin. “Niall, are you aware that you are yet another boy to be added to Hunter’s friendzone?” I think I passed out for a second, or maybe I just blinked.
“I know. I hate it, it smells.” Niall laughed and looked down at me, “Sometimes I get out though.”
“Oh really?”
“TEDDY!” I groaned. “Can you please not?”
She rolled her eyes, “Niall, tell me about yourself.” Niall tapped his calloused finger against his chin as he put his socked foot on the couch.
“Ehm…I’m from Ireland. Came here with my mum and brother but my mum’s gone back to Ireland like…a while ago.” He paused. “I quite like it here.”
“Tell me more. I could listen to you talk all day.” I smacked a hand over my face.
He chuckled, “Eh…I live next door to Hunter and I use her pool sometimes.”
“I’m sure that’s fun for you, Hunter.” I blushed, looking away from the both of them. “Go on, please.”
“What else do you want to know?”
“I heard you went to the movies together, how was that?” WHAT IS SHE DOING?!
“Yeah we went with our friend Eileen.”
I scoffed, “You’re friend.” I felt him look at me, but I didn’t look back. “Teddy, how’s New York? Am I missing anything?” Please let me change the subject, Ted.
She stared at me for a beat before smiling, “A billionaire has bought one of the penthouses in our building!” My jaw dropped, “I met him…but I can’t remember his name. His wife is fucking gorgeous.”
“How can you not remember his name?!”
“I don’t know! It was overwhelming. Hunter, when I tell you the guy is drop dead beautiful, I mean that I almost went into cardiac arrest when he stepped into the elevator with me. It’s painful.” I rolled my eyes, she’s so dramatic. “I’m so serious. I’ll get a picture when I see him next time. I think he’s on the floor above you.”
“You have a penthouse?” Niall asked, surprised.
I shook my head, “No, I’m the floor under where the penthouses start.” I turned back to Teddy, “How old is he? Does he have kids?”
“He’s like…late twenties…maybe just turned thirty.”
“Hmm.” I mumbled. “I’ll have to look into that.”
“Do you have a boyfriend back home?” Niall blurted. How random…
My eyes widened. “What? No, people don’t even know I exist back home.”
“That’s only because you’re so shy. People think you’re hot.” Niall said I was hot earlier… “Niall, do you have a girlfriend?” He only shrugged but I could feel his eyes on me.
I glanced at him, “Stop staring at me.”
“She doesn’t like to be stared at by boys.” Teddy commented.
“Teddy, will you please shut up?” I begged. “Anyway….um, I’m doing the volleyball tournament this weekend.”
“Really?” I nodded, “That’s hot.”
“I’m doing it to avenge the family name for C.L., not look hot.” Both Teddy and Niall laughed.
“I don’t think you can stop it.” Niall chuckled.
“HUNTER!” Dad called from upstairs. “TURN THE POOL LIGHTS OFF.” I rolled my eyes and looked back to Teddy.
“I have to go.”
Her eyebrows shot up, “No! Let me talk to Niall.”
“Uh, I’ll text you his number later.” I scoffed. “I’ll talk to you when I can.” She pouted but we said our goodbyes and I closed my computer. “That was…a lot more embarrassing than I thought it would be.” I mumbled, glancing up at Niall. He slung his arm around me, hugging me close to him.
“I like her; she’s like you when you’re drunk…or not around me.” I frowned. What does that mean? “Do I still make you nervous?”
“Yes.” I pulled out of his embrace and went towards the stairs. “Come on.”
——
I turned to Niall once I’d turned the lights off, quickly preparing myself for this conversation. “Look…” I started, then paused to rephrase what I was I planned on saying. He waited patiently for me to speak again. He probably knew what was coming.
“I’m glad you’re having fun with Eileen…I’m glad you’re having fun here. I’m glad I met you because you’re a really good friend.” I’m really starting to hate that word friend. “I want it to stay like that yaknow? For us to be friends and have fun.” I’m rambling. Get to the point. “I think you should get with whoever you like since you’re not exclusive with Eileen—”
“I do.”
I nodded and looked at the ground. “Yeah…well…I think you should keep me out of it. I’m just your friend, nothing else.” He was silent. Don’t look at him, don’t look at him. “I like hanging out with you and I want to keep doing that…but that’s it.” I was lying through my teeth, but it’s for the best. The only reason I’m doing this is because…I just don’t want Eileen coming after me. After all the shit she and I have been through (shit that she got me in) I know she wouldn’t hesitate to socially destroy me.
“You don’t like snogging me too?” What a stupid question…
“I—what? That’s not the point. I’m saying we’re just friends and nothing else. You have to stop doing that.” Don’t look at him. “Just friends, okay?”
“Is that really what you want, ‘Unter?” Oh no, the accent; he sounds upset. Don’t be upset Niall…
I nodded. “Don’t nod, look in my face and talk to me.” I sighed and brought my head up, trying desperately to keep my face straight.
“Just friends.” I squeaked.
“Why do I feel like you’re not goin’ to talk to me for days after this?” Because I probably won’t.
“I don’t know.”
He ran a hand through his hair, “We’ll still hang out, right?” I said that, didn’t I?
“Yeah.”
“Hey,” he put a hand on the top of my head, pushing back a little so I was looking in his eyes again. “Don’t look so upset, alright? Best friends, ‘member? I’m not goin’ anywhere.” I nodded. “Why do you look like you’re goin’ to cry?”
“I’m not.” I said defensively.
He smiled, “Alright, alright.” His smile faded a little, “So…I’ll see you around I guess.”
“Yeah.” He stared at me for a while, trying to read my face. He looked so confused with the situation and I just wanted to rub away the frown between his eyebrows. He has no idea how much I like him and the worst part is he’ll never know. There’s no point in me telling him either because he’s not just going to leave someone like Eileen for someone like me.
“Can I hug you?”
My heart sped up as I nodded. His face broke into a smile, but before he could fully open his arms we were interrupted by someone calling his name. Turning toward the fence we saw it was Greg, trying to get his attention.
“What is it?” Niall groaned, clearly irritated.
“Some girl is at the door, says she’s your girlfriend…?”
“Girlfriend?” Niall and I said. He looked back at me, seemingly apprehensive.
“She’s your girlfriend?!” I whispered.
He shook his head, “I—no. She just…it’s complicated.”
I widened my eyes and stepped away from him, “You were lying to me all day? You lied to Teddy? And the other day….?”
“No, no. She just told me to that she stopped hookin’ up with other people like a week ago.” He rushed. “We’re still not—”
“But you never hooked up with other people.” Except me… “You’re basically exclusive now and you go on dates? How stupid are you Niall? That’s called dating, whether you like it or not. You’re dating her and you’re messing with me while you do it!” I was so heated—furious—especially because it’s Niall. The first guy I’ve let myself like…and he has a girlfriend. And he lies.
“I’m not messing with you.” He breathed with a frown. “We’re not dating.” He sounded unsure—like a child that refuses to accept that the tooth fairy is fake. My breathing picked up again but this time in anger. He’s been dating her for a week without saying anything about it to me.
“Did she tell you before or after I came over the other night?” The only sound between us was my pounding heart in my ears. His silence was all the answer I needed.
How did I not see this earlier? They’ve been going on dates so much now and the only people they hook up with is each other—except for Niall’s occasional hormone rush when I’m around. That’s all I am to him; the friend that’s at his disposal when he needs to let off steam every once in a while.
I looked away from him, “You should go talk to her.” My voice shook. Don’t cry.
“What—‘Unter, you ‘ave to listen to me—”
“I don’t want to hear it. Maybe your girlfriend does.”
“She’s not my girlfriend! You’re more my girl than she is!” WHAT?
I swallowed and looked back to him, keep my voice leveled and my face emotionless. “Bullshit, Niall. The way you two suck face and hold hands and touch each other every fucking chance you get—you can’t tell me you like me more than her.” I paused and gave him a small fake smile.
“And you know what, I’m happy for you. Go ahead and fuck her in your basement if you want. I don’t care. You’re my friend and that all you’ll ever be. We were just talking about that weren’t we?” I’d managed to keep my voice calm and convincing during my little speech. Niall didn’t seem to register that it was an angry-calm but it doesn’t matter.
“ ‘Unter…I—” I cut him off with a fake yawn.
“I’m tired, I’m gonna go to bed.” I headed towards the stairs and just as I suspected he didn’t pull me back or try to pry the truth out of me. I’d just noticed Greg had walked away, and I was momentarily glad he hadn’t heard anything. “Goodnight.” I mumbled, my bare feet tingling over the cool grass in the backyard. I didn’t hear him say anything so I assumed he went back to his house.
That’s it.
Don’t cry. I told myself as I harshly slammed the back door closed.
“Hey, what the fuck is your problem?” Chip snapped. I looked up at him, seeing he and Louis had random girls sat at our kitchen bar. All four of them gave me a weird look like I’d grown six extra heads.
“What’s wrong?” Louis asked. I knew he’d see right past my impassive mask, but for once I didn’t want him to. I told him nothing before making a bee-line to the stairs. “Should we see if she’s okay?” I heard him mumble.
“No, she said nothing was wrong.”
“She was lying! You know she does that!” I could hear the anger in Louis’ voice as he spoke quietly to Chip. I couldn’t help but think about how awkward that must’ve been for the girls they had over.
“Then she clearly doesn’t want us bothering her. Just…” As I made it further up the stairs, I couldn’t hear the rest of their conversation. Feeling defeated and unwanted even by my own brother, I walked into my room and closed the door behind me and leaning against it.
Dating? For a week? Why didn’t I see that?! Why didn’t he say anything? I flopped down on my bed. This is what I get for letting myself slip and like someone. Don’t you fucking cry, Hunter.