{Robyn POV}
A couple weeks had passed since Harold's arrest but I was still struggling to cope with it all.
I wanted desperately to forget about him, but he was a man who had been a constant disruption in my life. He had followed me all my life, intervened and changed the way I lived without me even knowing. There were things that were forgivable, simple things like him not helping when something stupid happened. From tripping over my own feet from my untied laces or locking my keys into my car and now realising he had been there, watching the whole time.
But then there were things I could never forgive and forget. I could never forgive him for the pain he caused and the anguish and torment I went through after my miscarriage. How I laid awake at nights asking myself why, I was fit and healthy, slightly older than most first time moms but I had it all going for me..
It was him that put a stop to that.
I realised that after a while I didn't care about him cutting my hair, taking my panties or having some creepy ass set up. He had committed a crime on my soul when he stole my chance of being a mom. Now every night I cuddle into Zak and protect my tummy with my arm in case he comes back..
Jim had rang a few days after the arrest telling me he was in a detention facility until trial, that no bail would be grated for the severity of his case and that he had admitted to everything, it was now just a case of getting all the evidence together and having him prosecuted.
I wanted him to leave this world, I didn't want to share the same oxygen as him. But that slowly changed when I realised Death is exactly how he would prefer it. I wanted him to suffer, to have days where he's going out of his mind, where he feels dead inside because he has nothing to remind himself of me. I wanted him to suffer like I suffered, ache like I ached and maybe cry like I wailed in Zak's arms.
I would never forgive him for destroying my first opportunity with Zak, a crazy as it sounds, my life could be very different right now as I had no doubt in my mind that when I met him, the planets aligned. But a black hole snapped them apart again.
I'd spend hours day dreaming whilst soothing a hand over my tummy. Pausing occasionally when I felt a bubble popping feeling which I had now learnt was our cub moving.
I imagined that myself and Zak would be sat together on the couch watching our children play, Gracie would be out there chancing bubbles our daughter blew, or stealing the football our son kicked. I imagined our family, how we could have had more than one child, been married and lived in a house with flowerbeds and dog toys scattered over the lawn.
But we didn't. That opportunity was taken, but this little cub was the start of our lives. Of my life as a family, to be a mom and love unconditionally.
I found it hard to leave the house, some days I'd leave no problem, others, I thought of 30 reasons why it's best I stay home.
We were now at 30 as Zak upped the level every time, but by the time I got to 5 he would always let me off seeing the panic and struggling on my face.
But I did make the effort every night to walk with him and Gracie on the community. I didn't like leaving the community longer than what we have to. I was just thankful we were on a season break for Christmas and new year.
The mirror was no longer my friend, it seemed every time I looked into it I was bigger, rounder and although I had an amazing glow, I was still hiding it from Aaron, Jay and Zak's family. My only advantage was that December was a busy month, everyone was rushing to buy presents, to organise their homes and make the most of the season break they were granted at work.
The news broke about Harold, causing Zak's mom to freak out and telling me never to keep anything from her again. I could only smile whilst looking over her shoulder as she gave me a hug whilst Zak looked at me wide eyed. I was over the scare stage of pregnancy but the idea of just us knowing still warmed my heart, I didn't have people grabbing at my stomach unwelcomely, I was content, happy and loving the idea of my little cub all warm and cosy.
"Baby have you seen my-" he paused grinning seeing me in one of his new Haunted Museum hoodies.
"Seen what darling?" I asked twirling my hair.
"Now see that.." he sighed pulling his phone out and taking a photo. "That is my life right there."
I smiled looking down to see Gracie asleep beside me.
"Are you wearing anything under that?" He asked coming closing trying to see.
"Under this?" I sucked in a breath. "I don't know, I- the zip got stuck." I pouted playfully.
"Oh really?"
"Uh huh. I've been waiting for you.."
"You should have called me sooner." He smirked running his hand up my bare leg.
I kept his eye contact as he got to a pair of velvet booty shorts hidden under the hoody.
"Those shorts..." He sighed deeply leaning over to my lips.
"I know, my partner loves them. I got the teeth mark on my ass to prove it." I replied making his lips quiver to a smile.
"Well, he's a lucky man."
"That he is." I gave him a kiss and pulled back "Would you like the hoody?"
"I prefer it on you, or off you. Either way is good for me right now."
I giggled "You ordered a size bigger... Wouldn't be for me by any chance?"
His forehead rested against mine "Can I not do any small gesture without you knowing?"
"I'm very observant.. Especially when it comes to yo-" I pulled back abruptly and grabbed his jaw twisting his head.
"What the hell is that?" I asked before my eyes widened "You're bleeding!"
I looked at my hands and suddenly I was back a few weeks holding a heart screaming.
"Robyn!" Zak shouted shaking my arms as I gasped at the air. "It's a shaving nick, I'm fine."
"You, you need to clean it. Blood.." I showed him my hands.
His face washed with concern as he scooped me up and took me to the kitchen. I rinsed my hands and turned my attention to cleaning him up.
"Better?" He asked gently stroking my face.
I nodded pressing myself against his chest. "Maybe we should see someone about these?" He asked gently referring to my flashbacks.
"No. It's just hormones. I'm normally a hardy bitch."
"Only if you're sure."
"Positive and you know I'm over protective with you." I nuzzled.
"Oh that I know. I've learnt never to leave my phone on silent." He sniggered.
One night I had fallen asleep, so he took Gracie out as he attempted to run. I woke up in a mild panic and couldn't find either of them, the more I rang him, the more worried I got. So when he came up the path running, I panicked and thought we were in danger, when he then explained his running. I punched him in the chest and cried at him for being a 'overly attractive, health obsessed, kale eating freak.' I also screamed at him in anger when he laughed at me and then threw his stinking shoe at him.
In return to calm me down, he ordered me pizza and I ate the whole thing myself whilst occasionally sobbing into the stuffed crust whilst he had pizza and wedges. Kind of working against the whole Running idea.
I closed my eyes falling deeper with his fingers stroking the back of my neck. "Are you okay?" He asked kissing my head gently.
I nodded holding onto his shirt until I felt it was time to release him.
"Cece is coming over as I gotta go to the museum."
"You're making her work the eve of Christmas Eve?" I asked.
"What can I say? I'm a slave driver. I'm not, I was on the phone to her asking about the deliveries and when I mentioned going over to the museum she wanted to keep you company, after everything..."
"That woman needs a raise." I replied.
"Already thinking it."
"Good. She's been amazing."
"Ring me if you need anything though okay? Even if you just feel a little..." He wiggled his brows.
I nodded as the wheels turned in my brain of him being out for a few hours.
Cece had found out about Baby Bagans when she arrived unexpected and I was stood in the kitchen trying to measure my waist so I could buy jeans that would fit. Gracie enjoyed the smoothie she dropped when she saw me. Showered with compliments and oh my gods she then helped me buy maternity clothes for home and for work.
"Hello?!" She called causing Zak to call back where we were. She swung in with bags on her arms.
"I brought fruit, watermelon, ice pops and I can't believe I actually had to buy pickles? I thought that was just something they used in films?" She frowned.
I grinned as she put them in the fridge, eating them cold was my life! But for now I began eating strawberries that Cece had placed down.
"I thought you wanted them for desserts?" She asked seeing me devour them with a moan.
"Apparently not from how those feet are wiggling." Zak sniggered.
"Who's observant now?" I retorted.
"I always have been. I got to go, stay out of trouble. Both of you." He emphasised making me grin as he placed a hand on my tummy.
"Uh huh. Bring me back something nice."
"Like what?" He asked inquisitively. "A haunted doll? A puppet? That big clow-"
"A top Zak. Not a that freakin' clown."
"But he likes you." He teased.
"I will burn it, if it comes in this house."
"Okay okay. Haunted museum top. I should be charging you."
"I'm your advertisement!"
"True. I'll charge you postage and package then." He concluded.
"I'll pay in kind." I giggled as he kissed my mouth continuously.
"Get a room." Cece jibed playfully.
"I got a house, you're in it." Zak joked giving me one lasting kiss.
"Strawberry." He answered licking his lips "You make even the sweetest of fruits taste even sweeter."
"Go.." I whispered feeling my body want more.
"You know... I think I like this trimester. Constant state of arousal." He whispered.
"Goodbye Zak." I answered pushing his hands away from my thighs.
"I'm thinking baby number two." He replied making my face drop.
"I still got one on board." I pointed.
He scoffed "Why do you think I want a big house?"
I was left speechless as he left the kitchen chuckling at my reaction.
"Everything alright?" Cece asked coming back from the pantry.
"I'm going to marry that man." I replied picking up a strawberry and eating it with a smile.
**********
I was chewing my nail erratically looking around the waiting room. The clock above mocked me as it ticked away the seconds.
Where the hell is he?!
I pulled out my phone trying to stop my hand from trembling, dialling his number, I pushed it to my ear and waited.
The dial tone sounded and eventually I hit his voicemail.
"Damn it Zak." I whispered trying again.
"Robyn?" The midwife spoke from the door.
"I- I'm just waiting for Zak. A few more minutes please?" I asked.
She nodded "Come in when you're ready."
Her eyes cast over the waiting room giving me the hint of not taking too long.
"Don't do this to me.." I whispered trying Zak's cell again.
I almost threw my phone when it hit his voicemail. Today I had my scan, as well as antenatal screenings to check for any problems.
And I was terrified.
I wish I didn't read up on what was going to happen. I wish I just came in with no idea and let them get on with the tests, but I knew now that a needle was entering my tummy to take fluid. And all I could think about was my cub.
5 minutes had past and the two receptionists were sniggering as I bargain sweating looking at the clock and door.
He said he would be here, he promised!
I should have reminded him this morning!
10 minutes later, I had no option but to go in alone. I wish I asked Cece to come with me, but I didn't want to take up any more of her time especially as it's Christmas Eve tomorrow. Today is one of the most important days, today was the last day to get things done!
"How are you feeling?" The midwife asked with a gentle smile seeing me in tender hooks.
"He said he'd be here. I can't believe he's not.. You mean the baby." I shook.
"It's okay to be nervous. It's perfectly natural."
"What if something happens? Will it hurt?"
"We have numbing cre-"
"Not me, will it hurt my baby?"
She shook her head "We use a very fine needle for the amniocentesis. Do you know what and why it's happening?"
"Yeah, you take a sample of the amniotic fluid that surrounds my baby. It's then checked for chromosome disorders and other problems." I answered in the know about this one. It was the one that scared me the most!
"You've done your homework." She smiled. "I also need bloods, urine and as well today like normal but we will also be checking your glucose tolerance too."
"Okay."
"Then the best bit is getting to see baby." She smiled happily.
I took a shaky breath looking at the door again.
"Would you like to ring him again?"
I shook my head "He would be here by now."
"Come on, I'm not scary."
With that we got the tests underway. In that time of being used as a bloody pin cushion, I thought of at least 3 ways to punish Zak for not showing.
One would be no sex, until the next Millennium at least!
Finally after everything, I was able to see my cub.
"Here we go, the moment you've waited for." The midwife smiled turning the screen.
I sighed with relief seeing our little creation.
"Are you okay Robyn?" She asked as I wiped my eyes.
"Y-yeah, it's just been a difficult few weeks."
"I understand."
I bet you don't!
After measurements, and the important checks, I was being given photos.
"Thank you so much." I beamed holding them.
"You're welcome, now. We will get these tests done, any problems and we will ring you instantly. But from what I can see and I've been doing this for 20 years, is that you have a healthy baby on board."
I held my tummy proud. "Thank you."
"Go and enjoy Christmas." She smiled walking me out the room.
I stepped aside as a couple went in behind me, as I left I passed the reception desk to whispered and sniggering. No doubt about my appearance before I entered the room.
Getting into the car, I pulled my phone out and tried Zak's cell once more feeling myself getting angry.
Sure enough voicemail came again and I threw my phone back into my handbag before locking myself in the car and pulling away in Zak's Mercedes.
Wherever he had swanned off too, had left time to drive his pride and joy. Thankfully he took the Bentley otherwise it would have been that or the pickup. Both of which I can't drive.
I had intentions of swinging by the museum and chewing his ear off, but I returned home instead knowing more stress was bad. Once I got into the house, I headed straight for a bath and took a nap waiting for the wanderer to return..