A couple days later..
2am.
3am.
4am.
Slowly I moved across the couch shifting my body, feeling the pressure on my joints from having sat in the same position for so long. My eyes looked towards the bedroom, hoping, expecting and waiting for him to come out and find me. But he never did.
Ever since our spat over him wanting to spice up our sex life, I haven't spoke to him nor shared a bed with him.
I pulled the blanket tighter around my shoulders feeling the cold snapping at me.
Stop going on about the baby! It wasn't even a baby! It was nothing!
It was nothing...
I blinked back the tears as I held a small photo in my hand. My name printed across the top, the measurements down the side. My age, F for female and inside the photo.. Was a small small black blob, inside was a white mark. That white mark shaped like a little prawn was my baby.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"There's the baby." The nurse smiled pushing the screen to face me as she finished up taking measurements.
I looked at the screen and squinted. "Is.. really? That's it?" I asked. "All this sickness for a smudge?"
She laughed lightly "My dear, there's a lot more where that's coming from. But if you need help with morning sickness, I can refer you to see a doctor who will talk about alternative treatments to relieve it."
I shook my head "No... Bring it on."
She beamed happily at me before looking at the screen. "This is baby.." She pointed to the screen at the white curl.
"My baby looks like a prawn." I admitted causing the nurse to giggle. "Is that normal?"
"It's perfectly normal. In fact, I would say that things are going well. Would you like to hear baby's heartbeat?"
"Yes please." I replied.
The nurse grabbed the small device and placed it on my stomach, after a whip around she paused and looked over to me as a thudding filled the air.
I felt my heart swell as the thudding rhythm was loud and clear, looking at the picture on screen I felt pure happiness and love surge in me.
That's it my little prawn. You thud away.
We spoke for a few minutes longer before the recurring alarm went off in my head. The Zak alarm..
It happened nearly every time I smiled, laughed or cried. Anything I did triggered it.
Carrying the small photo out in my hand I pushed Zak away from my mind. I left for him, I was doing this for him...
"How'd it go?" Joe asked standing up from the waiting room chair.
"Is it me? Or does my baby look like a prawn?" I asked before sharing the laughter and heading back to my little cottage.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I was snapped out of my reminiscing from Gracie hopping onto the couch and sniffing my face.
"I'm okay.." I whispered ruffling her fur before she hopped down and raced back to Zak. I wiped the tear that had built in my eye and turned my attention to the moon.
There always light in a dark time, tonight appeared to be no different.
I looked at the black and white photo paper "My baby was something. My baby is something."
Laying down on the couch I held the photo until the shutters of my eyes came down and sleep overhauled me.
--------------
{Zak POV}
I watched the reflection of light on the swimming pool shimmer across the bedroom ceiling. Any other time something so peaceful and relaxing would entice me to sleep, but not now..
The bed, it was empty, cold and too big. It was lonely laying here but I guess I had myself to blame. Looking at the door I waited for Robyn to come bounding in, or to come in and slip into bed.
Hell I didn't care if she didn't speak to me tonight and decided to speak to me tomorrow, I just needed her near me.
I got out of bed and crept through the house slowly, I found Gracie laid on the floor beside the couch causing me to look on the couch to find Robyn curled up in a little ball.
"Oh.." I whispered seeing her asleep.
She had been avoiding bed since I asked her about a threesome.. I never got to finish my explanation before balls hit the wall.
I moved back a few stray strands of hair from her face, her skin looking three shades whiter from the moonlight, but her hair looked darker, almost black.
My eyes moved to her face as a whimper left her sleeping body, frowning I brushed her hair back gently soothing her before she fell quiet again.
Crying in her sleep again...
Twisting my head, I noticed a small piece of paper stuck out the side of her pillow. Frowning I reached for it gently, but as my fingers touched the paper which I now knew was a photo. Her eyes sprang apart and a gasp left her body as she went into pure fright.
"GET AWAY!" She screamed causing me to jump back and hold my hands up.
"It's me! Robyn it's me!" I called but her eyes weren't fixed on me. They were fixed to whatever was beside me.
"Don't you fucking do it!" She growled as her fright turned to anger.
"What? Whats happening?" I asked her.
---------------
{Robyn}
"What? What's happening?!" Zak asked urgently.
I watched the woman smile at me as she slowly walked around him, leaning in closely to smell his skin before moving back.
"Don't you fucking touch him." I warned as my body began to shake with fear, adrenaline and anger.
"Who? Robyn talk to me?" Zak asked as I ignored him.
The woman stopped looking at his face carefully, her hand came up to touch his face but she stopped and looked over at me with a smirk. Then she was gone.
I blinked looking around for her even pushing Zak aside thinking she was hiding behind his large shoulders but we were alone..
"What was it? What did you see?" He asked switching on the lamp making my hand fly up to defend my eyes from the light.
The anger was still there and the only possibility of why this was happening was because of him.
"This is all your fault!" I snapped at him.
"Wh- Mine? How?!"
"You wanting another woman! That's why she's here! Fucking with my mind, well you know what?!" She asked before spinning around.
"You can have him! Go on! You want someone who's gonna put you second place under some cheap tart then he's all yours!" She shouted at the house.
"You'd never been second pl-"
"Shut up. Just... Go away." I answered grabbing my pillow to go to a spare bedroom when the photo fell between us.
I froze in position looking down at it as Zak picked it up.
"I-- it's a scan photo. Of our baby? Why have I never seen this?" He asked.
I panicked so I responded the only way I know how when I need to defend myself... I snapped back and ran.
"Baby? It's nothing to you. Remember?" I asked snatching it back before hurrying upstairs and slamming the door behind me.
In the early hours of morning, just before the sun had risen, I had fallen back to sleep, only this wasn't a dreamless sleep. This was different. This was what had been made from this continuous problem between myself and Zak.
The first dream, was us. Myself and Zak together in the bedroom when he introduced another guy. I was too shocked to react as Zak moved away and sat himself on a chain in the corner whilst this man pawed at my nightdress, grabbed and pulled at my skin. It was painful, it felt like it hurt. Every time I tried to ask for him to stop he would cover my mouth. I sent Zak a pleading look but his eyes were rolling back as he pleasured himself.
The second dream was me finding Zak with another woman... The jealousy, the rage, and sickness I felt as he made love to her gently, fulfilling her needs and calling her baby and beautiful. I couldn't get off the chair to stop them as they just went on and on and on. It was torture..
I wasn't stupid to know what both dreams meant. The first one? I don't trust any other man, not like I trust Zak. He's different and he went through some tough times with me before we became anything... Official. He was everything to me, he still is but the idea of him wanting another man to... To wade in, to take his job as my partner, for me was just wrong!
The second dream was about jealously, I'm not going to deny it but what happens if she's more gorgeous? Thinner. Zak would kick me aside and he would leave me leave..
Insecurity, no confidence and paranoid.
I decided that today would be the best time to sit down and have a chat with Zak about what he really wants out of this relationship. Otherwise we are dead in the water...