-Lisa-
Tionne seriously you are going to tear apart her room looking for what? Their address I know she has it and I am going over there and bring her back home. Tionne she's 18! Lisa for real this girl has been gone for almost 3 months and you are going to sit here and act like you aren't worried about her? I am worried about her but I also know Noelle is not stupid and she knows how to take care of herself. She looked at me and rolled her eyes before going back through her drawer.
Nothing damn she said shutting the drawer. If I was Noelle where would I hide that information she said looking around. If you were Noelle you'd probably put it in a journal! Oh my god you are so smart she said looking in the other drawer for her journal. She took it didn't she? Yes! Wait she said looking at me. You and her are close did she tell you where she was going? You actually think I'd let her go and me not tell you? I know yall got that special relationship. We do but she ain't tell me either.
Speaking of can I ask you something? Go ahead. Okay don't think I am crazy for asking you this but did you ever think about...about what? She looked out the door to make sure no one was coming. Did you ever think about taking things further with Noelle? Further as in what Tionne? You know! I chuckled a little bit, you mean as in messing around with her? Yeah! Truthfully I thought about it, actually it kept me up a few nights but No I didn't because once she got to a certain age I no longer saw her the same way. What do you mean? I started to see her more a sister and yeah I thought she was cute but I didn't want to blur the lines of our relationship because I knew stuff about her sexual experiences. Her being with Liv? Her, CJ and Ty she told me a lot of stuff that she didn't tell you for obivous reasons. I knew Noelle would not be ready for a sexual relationship with me and nor was I willing to think of a sexual relationship with her
Why the sudden line of questioning? I've kind of been developing feelings for someone younger. Liv! She looked away. If you ever let her know that she wore you down. Shut up! But here lately since she's been going through it with her mom, I just see a different side to her you know. I definitely know. I went through it with Noelle and there was one time with Noelle but I don't even think she knows. What! I kissed her, but she was half asleep and she never said anything about it. Trust me she was well aware of what happened she said laughing. She tell you. No but you really think you could kiss her and her not realize it, she did exactly what you did and keep that shit on lock.
Are you really ready to cross that line? It's not some girl Tionne, its Olivia your sisters best friend and her first sexual encounter. It complicates the hell out of things. Yeah it does. This may sound crazy but what if I had gotten with Noelle and you got with Liv. That sound like some freaky deaky love square and I am under no circumstances ever getting with my sister that's nasty. Aint nobody said anything about the four of us getting together. And I am not messing with Liv so. Weirdness Li, and it wouldn't work Noelle's way to emotional even for you. You may be right about that I said laughing.
Come on its not in here I said pulling her out of Noelle's room and closing the door.
-Liv-
Noelle called me from Miami and said her plane lands at 12:45 so she should be coming out any minute. I was watching the people exist the terminal when I saw her; it was like she had morphed into a totally different person. I mean Noelle's always been blessed body wise, but damn she looked good like real good her hair was longer and she this extremely clear skin. And damn if her ass wasn't fat as hell. Man I should have went to Honduras with her cause whatever they got there did her body so good.
Are you going to just stare at my body or give me a hug she said breaking my trance. Hey Noelle! Hey Olivia she said hugging me. I just gotta say you look extremely good. Thanks you don't want to know what I drank to look this way she said laughing. This all your stuff? Yup I managed to condense it down into a duffel bag and my backpack. We walked to the car in silence, not a bad silence but a peaceful one. Is Jacob gone already she said finally looking at me? No he's not, Malik and I are going to try a trial period of co-parenting if we can't do it fully by the time he's 1 and a half my mom said she'd do the temporary guardianship with unlimited visitation rights for both of us. Yall are going to work it out for him she said smiling. Yeah I owe it to my son to at least try, and I can't give him up that easily. I know that's right.
Noelle listen I am sorry. Liv forget it it's in the past I am no dwelling on it. Will you forgive me though? For what Liv, you didn't do anything wrong. For not having your back the way you had mine. You did so much for me Noelle that I should have realized that night when you came over that you just needed a friend and not to be nagged. Had I just listened you wouldn't have ended up in the hospital that night. Really Liv I just want to forget about it all the stuff that happened in high school. I nodded and continued to drive.
So where you want to go I mean Tionne is pissed so you sure you want to see her right now? I thought about it and I'll take that ass beating first before seeing mama. Surprisingly Noelle your mom didn't seem too phased. What do you mean? I mean she didn't seem too phased like she knew you were somewhere and you were okay. I bet Kayo told her when I didn't come back with Ty. How did that work out? 2 and half weeks of sex and then he tells me he's got a girlfriend and she's pregnant. Protected right?
What do you think she said looking at me? You want to end up like me with a baby on your hip? I'm on the pill and after words I'd you know to make sure nothing stayed. Just in case you should take a pregnancy test, just precaution I said. You can take me to Ro's house I want to see her. She's big girl. Really! Oh yeah she's carrying high so we think it's a boy. We! You know Tae been holding her down 1000%. And Mimi? Still very much in the picture but dealing with her own issues.
-Ro-
Mama! Yeah baby! Can you hand me the remote. Girl you called me in here to hand you the remote? I can't reach it. Fine she said handing me the remote. Thanks Mama! Mhm she said laughing as she walked off into another part of the house. We finally got our money issues straight so I was able to move out of that cramped little condo. I bought a modest size house it's big enough for me and mama. She says she's moving as soon as I have the baby cause she knows that it will be cramped. Honestly though I don't want her to move, I like having her around. I heard the doorbell ring. Ughh I said pulling myself up off the couch.
Hold on a minute! I get to the door and who was it? Noelle's ass! Where the hell have you been? Hello to you to Rozonda! Don't hello me girl do you know how worried we were about you? I needed a break Ro. A break! Yes a break. Come here I said pulling her to me. Don't ever do any shit like that again Noelle. I am sorry Ro. You had me worried. I know. Look at your little belly. Little girl I am carrying a watermelon. No it's so cute though she said rubbing my belly.
What are you having? Guess! Hmm... she looked at my stomach and then me. A little boy! How did you know, Liv did you tell her? Nope I didn't. I can tell cause your eyes are a little lighter and you're are carrying higher. Why would that even matter? Look at liv you see how light her eyes are, they use to be darker till she had Jacob. Liv and I looked at each other like she was crazy. Just trust me on it.
Noelle! God mama. Girl where have you been, your mama was worried sick about you. I just went on a little trip but I am back now. Have you seen your sister yet? Nope! Ooo yeah she ain't happy with you right now. I heard she said looking at Liv. Olivia how is the baby? He's good growing so fast. He's with his daddy right now. Oh that's good, you two got it together. We're trying Ms. Ava, we really are.
Where did you go Noelle? Honduras! Honduras what were you doing down there? It's actually a beautiful place Ro, clear water, fresh fruit, no traffic or sirens, and the people are so nice and loving. The people here are nice and loving too. You know what I mean, it was just different you know I didn't have to worry about people knowing me or calling me names. Still you could have told us that you were going I mean you had us thinking you were in California and then we go over there and you are nowhere to be found.
Ti fliped! She cussed Tyriq out so bad his grandchildren will probably feel that. She did. Oh yeah one for not telling her where you were and two for...For what Ro! Getting that girl pregnant. Technically that was her doing but we won't discuss that she said sitting down. What did Li do? Lisa pretty much just told him that you better make it home safely or she was coming back for him and it won't be pretty.
She looked so different it was crazy she went from this little high school girl to a woman in three months. It was like on the Cosby's when Denise went to Africa looking like a teenager and came back a grown ass woman. It fits her though cause she's more mature than when she left. Why you staring! What you doing the same thing that Liv did. It's just that you look different physically. Lots of working out and root shots. Root Shots! Yeah they had this root sorta like ginger but nastier than anything you could imagine, anyway you take 3 shots a day. It clears up your skin and your whole body. Look at my hair feel how strong it is. Dang you think they could send me some of that? It's not regulated over here, so naw we'd have to go over there to get it.
She stayed a little longer before she decided it was time to face the music with Tionne and Lisa. If you don't hear from me for a few days she's either killed me or I left again. You promised you wouldn't do that again so don't! Okay Ro! I'll call you tomorrow and make sure you're okay. Love you Ro. Love you too Noelle.
- Noelle-
I looked at the door and then back at Liv she was just dropping me off cause she had to go and get Jacob from Malik. I nodded and she drove off. I already knew Tionne was here cause Ro called her to see where she was at. I was scared as hell that she was going to kick my ass so I had physically prepared myself for the ass kicking. I turned the knob and walked in to the house.
NOELLE WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?
I couldn't say anything cause she was up in my face and the last thing I wanted to do was seem rude and defiant.
I KNOW YOU HEAR ME TALKING TO YOU!
She said knocking me upside the head.
ANSWER ME DAMNIT!
Can you calm down and back up a little bit and we can talk.
Calm down and back up? Who you think you talking to little girl? Ti I am not a little girl. Shut up! Shut up and don't say shit to me Noelle. I should just beat yo ass she said getting closer to me. Matter of fact... Left... right...left...right...blow after she literally kicked my ass and I just let her do it. Why fight back when I knew I was wrong for leaving without telling them.
TIONNE YO GET OFF OF HER, Li said pulling her off me.
What the hell is wrong with you? She deserve that shit Lisa. I don't care that's your damn sister she said looking at me. You okay! She's hit me harder but I'll be okay, I said wiping my lip. She shook her head as Ti came out the kitchen with an ice pack and some paper towel. Just like her to kick my ass and then take care of me. Put this on your face so it won't swell and wipe your lip so you don't get blood everywhere. Thanks!
I am sorry Tionne and Lisa, I should of... Sorry! You don't even know what that means Noelle? You were gone for 3 fucking months and we didn't even know where you were. We thought we knew but you wasn't even there. I know I was wrong for not telling you but I was okay. Where did you go, honestly and don't lie? Honestly when Ty and I left we went to Honduras. You left the fucking country? How the hell did you get a passport Noelle? How I got the passport wasn't import what was important was that it worked. Noelle! I've had it for a while I did the application my junior year because I wanted to go overseas in that study abroad program.
She shook her head and looked at Lisa who was just staring at me. When Lisa stares it's not a normal stare, it was more like she study's not just what you are telling her but you entire soul. We made eye contact and it was the weirdest things I'd ever felt in the whole time that I'd known Lisa. It was distant and cold. I gotta go Ti she said getting up. I'll talk to you later. Aight she said looking at me the whole time. Bye Lisa! She just looked at me and walked out the door without saying anything.
How you pay for that shit Noelle! I had saved a little bit and the money that Ro gave me. Honestly Ti...Save it Noelle right now I don't even want to hear it she said rubbing her face. Is it okay if I go to my room? Go you a grown ass woman you don't have to ask permission to do anything. I grabbed my bags and went to my room. I looked at my face, I forgot rule number 1 don't let them hit you in the face. Whew at least she didn't kill me, damn I forgot how hard she hit too, I thought to myself.
An few hours later I was laying on my bed listening to some music when my door opened. It was Ti, she turned off the music and sat down at the end of my bed. Ti...Don't let me say this first. I am sorry for hitting you, but you honestly don't know how I felt when I found out you weren't in California, where you said you would be. I looked all over California for you Noelle only to hear you were in Texas with your old foster family. And now you tell me that you weren't in even Texas, but 3000 miles away in another country by your damn self. I don't think you'll ever understand how I felt thinking that something bad may have happened to you. You don't understand you really don't Noelle she said shaking her head to keep from crying.
I didn't really think how it would affect you Ti, I was just tired of being a drain to you, to Lisa, to everybody. It just seemed that nothing was going right for me Ti, nothing I did was going right. How can you honestly say that Noelle? Looking at your life from the outside, yeah you had a few setbacks with your family but you recovered from that. You are not the same scared little 8 year old girl that came to us 10 years ago Noelle. I don't know what more we can do to make you understand that. You can't do anything Ti, it's something I have to fix within myself.
While I was there in Honduras I went to a healing village and talked to women who had spent their whole lives running from place to place trying to escape their past. I met women who had to leave their children in an effort to save themselves. I also met people who were on their last try at life and wanted nothing more than to be healed of their conditions.
And you know what it made what it made me realize? What's that she said looking at me? It made me realize that I am not the only one who goes through shit and I need to stop being a selfish brat. You aren't a brat Noelle. No I am and I am woman enough to admit that I am bratty. I mean you, Lisa, Ro, Kayo, Mama, all of yall spoil the hell out of me, I never have to ask for anything its given to me. And while I worked when I was in high school everything I got I didn't earn on my own merit. In essence I used yall as emotional and monetary crutches to feed my need of acceptance.
Acceptance? I spent my childhood fighting to be accepted into some kind of normalcy Tionne, that when I finally found it, it scared me. It scared me to think that anybody could actually give a damn about me. A little girl who was raped and used by her own family. I rebelled thinking yall would give up, but yall never do. Yall just fought and made it harder for me to fight it.
Why fight it Noelle? I am not anymore, I am not going to fight it anymore Tionne, I physically and mentally can't fight it anymore. Come here she said pulling me to the edge of the bed like she used to when I was little, I am so sorry Tionne I said crying on her shoulder as she held me. I know Noelle, it's okay. I could hear her crying in my ear as we hugged. I promise I'll never do anything like that ever again. You won't because if you do I'll kill you Noelle! You'll kill me! Try me Noelle I promise you.
Lisa's mad at me right? Oh yeah she's real mad. I don't want her to be mad at me. Give her some time. She'll come around. Okay!
Noelle can I ask you question? Yeah I said wiping my eyes. What they hell they feed you over there girl you built like a brick house? Oh god Ti! It was so beautiful over there and for 3 months I haven't really eaten any meat, it's just been fruits, vegetables, and Avocado's. No meat! Like none at all. None after the first month, when Ty and I were at the resort. Where did you go after that? To the Usha village. I know Ty told you it was some voodoo doctor but it really wasn't, he's a herbalist, no modern medicine only things from the earth and I think some of it would help you with your Sickle Cell. Really! Really they have these root shots, they taste like shit for real but after 2 days of them you have so much energy. I'd get up at like 6 and go non-stop till 9 at night and then sleep like a baby.
Tell me more about it she said getting comfortable on the bed.
-Helen-
I stood in the hallway listening to Noelle and Ti talk. I was happy my baby was back at home I missed her like crazy. I knew where she was the whole time cause unannounced to me or anyone else she used my credit card to book the hotel. She then put the money back on the card from over there. I let her have her freedom because I know she's had a rough life and if she needed a break who was I to tell her that she couldn't go. I smiled looking at them talk like they used to.
You spying Helen? Huh I said turning to see Wanda and Ava behind me? No I am not spying just looking at my girls. You ever going to tell them that they are actually related to one another, Wanda said. How do you know they are related to each other? Come on Helen look at the two of them, they favor each other and that's not something that happens from random people and beside Jermaine told me. Of course running his mouth. He wasn't the only one that thought it. Lisa said that she thought that they may be family biologically too she said something about Tionne needing blood and Noelle being a match. Yeah when she got shot, Noelle was a perfect match for her.
You don't really have to tell them do you, I mean they are close as they can get being sisters. I don't plan on telling them at all. Candace! When she gets out that will be when she faces Noelle, but as far as their relationship, Tionne is her big sister and she always will be. Shhh they're coming Wanda said pulling her back into the living room. We all sat on the couch and pretended to talk.
Hey mama! Hey Noelle you're home? Yes ma'am she said coming to hug me. I am sorry about your credit card she whispered to me. It's okay as long as you are okay. I am we'll talk later. Where are the two of you going? Waffle house I need fatty foods asap she said grabbing her wallet and keys. Bye mama Ti said. Bye baby! Bye Aunties her and Noelle said together as they left the house.
What now Helen! Get her ass to college so I can be free again. You too much girl they said laughing.
***************************************************************************************
Smh I knew Tionne would be mad but damn she beat the hell out of Noelle and then took care of her. Then we see that side of Ti that we've see every so often the side that is really attached to Noelle. And boy did you feel the cold shoulder Lisa was giving Noelle. Like damn I could feel it through the page.
I am glad though her and Liv worked out their issues and are friends again.
Let's rewind to this conversation between Li and Ti about graying that area! All I am going to say is remember this conversation it reappears in the second book and in the third as well!
Well yall know what to do Comment and Vote!!!