The Rose that Grew from Concrete

-Questions-

-Noelle-

The past few months after Ty kissed me that way, I've been having these really weird feelings and I don't understand them. Liv says it's because I am horny. What that means I don't know but its really starting to get to me. Nobody in this house talks about sex around me so I don't exactly know what to ask or what not to ask. I really need someone to explain this cause I've had to take 3 showers a day from the feelings that I get and I think mama is starting to notice the amount of soap we are going through.

I finally caught Ti at home for once in like the past two months since she's joined her group. She's always at practice or doing performances or something other than being at home. Which kind of sucks cause I miss my sister, I miss us watching movies and terrorizing Kayo, bottom line I just miss hanging out with her. But I also understand that she is going after her dream.

Titi! Yeah Noelle what's up? I need to talk to you about something but I don't know how to say it. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow and what would that be? Well I was talking to some of my friends and I...Come on spit it out Noelle! What does it mean when you're horny? What the hell she said spitting out her drink and looking at me like I was crazy. Did I say something wrong? Who said that to you Noelle? Said what? Don't play stupid who told you that you were horny. Okay so lately I've been having these weird feelings around certain people and Liv...Of course she said something to you she said rolling her eyes. Titi! Fine who is giving you these feelings? Uhh it's no one you know. Noelle you like a boy at school? Maybe I said looking at away.

I ain't wanna tell her that it wasn't just the boy that was giving me these feelings it was actually Lisa as well. I hadn't stopped thinking about Lisa since the day that I met her. Any chance I can get to be around her I take the opportunity to. Liv teases me about it saying how I wanna get between her legs. Its not even that its that she intrigues me on the highest level and she has these big brown eyes that melt me every time she looks at me.

The feelings I have for Tyriq are different though, after the "date" we decided to be friends, he said he couldn't deal with a girl that hit harder than him. So we been real cool he's my best guy friend. Don't get me wrong he still fine as hell the feelings are different. It's like Lisa has me mentally and physically attracted to her and he has me just physically. I can't and won't tell Ti that I have a crush on Lisa I mean she's older and she'd never give me the time of day, plus it would just be weird. And on top of that what would it do anyway? It's not like she likes me back in that way.

So what his name? Wait is it that little nigga from a few months ago, I thought I told you to stay away from him? Titi! Fine okay I am gonna reason with you, the feelings are natural we all get them at a certain point in life but you are not to try and satisfy them. Satisfy them. Yeah don't let him touch you, boys will get you in trouble and I know you don't wanna be in trouble like them fast ass girls down at the skating rink. No I don't but how do I make them stop cause the cold showers ain't helping anymore. She started laughing, so that's you taking all the showers, no wonder we going through bath soap like crazy. They aren't gonna go away you just gotta know how to control them. So you get them too? She chuckled a little, yeah I do but I control them by doing something different you know like dancing or singing something that will keep my mind off of them.

Titi can I ask you something else? Go ahead. Have you ever done it? Done it as in what I think you are talking about? Yeah I mean you're older so have you as you said satisfied them I said looking her right in the eye. I am not gonna discuss that with you because you are way too young and I don't want you trying to blackmail me. Titi I wouldn't blackmail you. Mhm as soon as you want something you'll tell mama. Anyway I am going to tell you this, don't do anything that you don't understand.