There nothing more awkward than knowing you're not wanted.. Especially when you're trying to do your job.
It seemed Zak's theory on Aaron being calmer was totally wrong as he arrived with Billy and Jay and had ignored me since.
I could handle it, but it was beginning to grate on Zak badly...
I felt fingers gently touching my neck causing a shudder to ripple down my back and turn to find Zak smiling "You're wearing rosary beads."
"I am.. Impressed?" I asked.
"Hmm." He smiled kissing me. His forehead rested on mine as he held my hands.
"Are you okay?" I whispered looking up at him.
"Negative energy.." He mumbled.
"I think we should probably just clear the air with him, I know you don't want too. But explain?"
He shook his head against mine. "No, it's still too raw. For us both."
He was right but if it helped settle this than I'd rather have a discomforting chat than a stressed out partner.
"Only if you're positive?" I asked again.
He nodded "Hey was everything okay with your mom?"
Apparently that wasn't a question I was suppose to ask as he sighed hard "No and no I don't need to talk about it. Let's just get this lockdown do-"
"Oh I'm glad people have time to stand about." Aaron muttered to Bacon making both me and Zak look in his direction.
I felt Zak go in his direction to just bawl him out when I grabbing his wrist. "Keeping to a schedule is hard. Especially when people don't arrive on time." I answered back before pulling Zak away before anything else was said.
I hated atmosphere.. Hated it!
Yet it seemed that this is what it was going to be like until we finally all stood in a circle and had it out.
However I didn't realise that it would happen sooner than expected.
-----
We were all sat down at a local bar in Virginia City, enjoying the evening after a day of filming. The crew were a hit with the locals and visitors as they recognised them from The Old Washoe Club dedication cases.
I smiled watching them all interact when I noticed a familiar face. Nancy..
I got up and headed over to her as she looked at Zak carefully.
"Hi." I smiled about to invite her to join us when she shifted her eyes to me.
"I want a word.. Outside."
Sensing things were about to go south, I nodded and grabbed my bag from the table letting Bacon know where I was going to. He nodded and watched me out before heading back in with the crew as the music got louder.
It was certainly a saloon tonight!
Stepping out across the dusty ground I walked to where Nancy was stood, her arms folded across her chest defensively.
"Is everything alright?" I asked when the lioness in her came at me full force.
"No! Everything is not alright! Just who the hell do you think you are?!" She shouted at me causing my eyebrows to shoot up.
Whoa.. What did I do?!
"Me? What have I done?" I asked feeling the itch to fold my arms defensively across my chest.
"What haven't you done?! I thought you were different than those other cheap skanks but you're not! You're just another tart after his money!"
I blinked "Why do I want his mon- where the hell has this come from?!" I asked wanting more.
"You pick him up, shower him with love and attention then you tear off when you don't get what you want! You leave him in a state! He was a complete mess and who cleaned it up?! Me! Who made sure he had everything he messed? Me! And you just walk back in here batting your lashes as if butter wouldn't melt!" She shouted angrily.
"Nancy.. I. I don't know what you've been told-"
"Enough! I've been told enough and that you took off without so much as a word leaving him worried sick! You don't love him at all!"
My back was instantly up hearing her say that. "How dare you question my love for him! You have no idea what we have been through!"
"Yes I do! You've come from a bad background, so now you're taking it out on everyone as an adult! I know your type!"
"What is my type then Nancy?! Seeing as you know it all!" I fired back.
"Damaged no good trash!"
I scoffed "Look who's talking! You don't know the first thing about loving your son!"
"I'M HIS MOTHER!"
"THEN WHERE WERE YOU HALF HIS CHILDHOOD!" I screamed.
My face whipped to the side making me gasp as a stinging filled one side of my face.
Bitch!
I held the side that stung and looked up to find Zak gripping his mothers wrist.
"How dare you lay a finger on her.." He growled.
"Zak.." I spoke sensing this was gonna be the explosion.
"She doesn't love you!" Nancy argued snatching her wrist from his hand.
"You don't know, you're not part of our relationship." He snarled coming over to me and taking my hand down.
His cool fingers touched my heated skin gently before he turned back to her.
"I told you to stay away! Why don't you listen to me?!" He shouted.
"Why are you angry with me?! She's the one who hurt you! She was the one who ran off and left you! She left you Zak!"
"Because she was pregnant!" He shot back.
My heart dropped as Nancy looked at Zak and then at me with a shocked face.
"Yeah. She has a name. It's Robyn. The reason Robyn left is because she was pregnant. With my baby. Happy now you know everything?!"
"I-is this true?" She asked making me nod once.
"Robyn left for me mom! For me! Thinking of me and the show! She gave it all up for me! So that I could carry on my life the way it is! I told you to stay away and look what you've done!"
"It's okay Zak.." I mumbled.
"No! It's not okay! I'm fucked off with this! Are you listening Aaron?! So whilst you think she's the big bad wolf just keep in mind she left with my baby for this show! For all of us! For me! The reason she's a back isn't for my money! It's because Robyn miscarried, our little miracle, surprise and future was stolen from us! Do you know what we did last week?! We laid flowers down in remembrance garden! Do any of you know what that feels like?!" His voice broke making tears spill out of my eyes.
"We are still grieving! It hurts! It hurts so fucking much! Yet, we are still working shit out between us and dealing with you selfish bastards! So you all stand there and judge us! But at least know everything before you chat shit!" He shouted at them.
I wiped my face with the back of my hand keeping my head low.
"Now I've stood here and watched you ignore her all day and bitch constantly. It ends now Aaron! I mean it!
And mom! You ever lay a finger on her again, I swear to god I'll never speak or look at you again!" He growled.
Zak's arm went around my shoulders
as I looked at the ground to avoid their faces.
"You don't think we are going through enough right now? If you cared anything for me? For Robyn? You'd leave us the fuck alone and get off our cases!" Zak finished pulling me away from them and heading back to the hotel as I cried silently beside him.
We slipped into the hotel and went straight to our room where Zak pulled me in a hug tightly "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He apologised holding me tightly.
He pulled me back slightly wiping my tears "I'm sorry baby."
"It hurts you too.."
He nodded wiping a tear from his eye "God I feel like such a failure, I can't show how I feel."
"You can. You can in front of me Zak."
I urged knowing what bottling up emotions did to a person.
"I can't. It's too much." He wiped his eyes with the heel of his palm before kissing my forehead.
"I'm sorry she hit you." He whispered looking at my cheek.
I shook my head "A mothers love.. It's natural Zak. It's the lioness.. I know, but I have no cub." I sobbed.
"Hey.. Shh... You got me." He whispered hugging me tightly.
I gripped his jacket tightly as if he would disappear on me too. "I love you so much." I cried.
"I know. Just let it all out. I love you as well."
I had my crying spell and exhausted myself before we both took turns having a shower and climbing into bed.
We were laying in the darkness and silence for a while before Zak spoke up.
"Roo?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you be the big spoon tonight?" He asked as his voice wobbled.
I nodded and moved across the bed spooning him as he held onto my hand tightly.
I pressed a kiss on his shoulder before pushing my head against his bare back. As sleep began to creep up on us both, I felt his lips on the back of my hand before I passed out behind him.