{Zak}
Hospitals were cattle markets, you go in, you come out, you go home.
I didn't know what happened to Joe but I was by Robyn's side as we got into my car. Having no other clothes, the hospital gave Robyn a set of hospital scrubs, just another reminder of this awful day.
"Slowly." I whispered helping her into the car.
She hasn't spoken since her crying earlier, I could only assume her mind was going over everything, whether any of her actions caused it.
I got in the car and looked at her as her eyes were fixed on the hospital. I started up the car and went to pull my belt on when she spoke.
"I can't go." She said suddenly making me look at her.
"Why?" I asked as she took her belt off.
"I-" Her chest began heaving heavily and her hands tightened on the door handle. "How can I just leave him or her there?"
"Sweetie."
"I can't leave my baby. That's my baby. My baby is.. I should have my baby. That's my baby not their baby." She rambled getting herself worked up.
"Robyn, look at me." Her eyes shifted to me. "The baby isn't there anymore."
She frowned before shaking her head violently "Y-You.. You don't care."
"I do." I whispered reaching for her but she shot away from my hands as if I would burn her.
"Don't touch me! Don't you touch me! I can't go because I'm not complete! I'm not 100%! I- I'm empty! What's the point in doing this?! Breathing if I can't-! I need that baby! I need to feel a purpose! I need a family! I want a family! I want a family!" She cried.
I wiped the tear in my eye and grabbed her hand "We will get through this together. Sweetie, our baby isn't there anymore, he, or she is being looked after by the other children who needed to go sooner."
"But why?!" She asked gripping my hand tightly.
"Because this world is a cruel place. Because bad things happen to good people, because there is evil in this world."
She frowned before touching my face "You're sad too?"
"I am.."
"I stole this off you." She whispered looking horrified with herself.
"It isn't your fault, don't you blame yourself. You heard the doctor, something wasn't right. It doesn't mean we can't try again."
"I don't want to try again. I don't want to have another baby. I wanted that baby. I wanted to-" she stopped looking at my rosary beads. "I didn't mean what I said.. He has to be true, doesn't he?"
I looked down at the cross "I like to think so. I like to think someone is looking out for us, for our baby."
A tear fell off her nose as she nodded frantically.
"We will be okay Roo, I promise."
She nodded again before sitting back against the seat looking at the hospital again.
"Goodnight baby." She whispered kissing her hand and pressing it against the window.
I turned my head away and wiped my face before undoing the window to get some fresh air. I couldn't break in front of her, I'm suppose to be the strong one now.
************
I watched the flames of the fire consume the log, the heat causing it to split and crack loudly in the silent lounge.
I couldn't help shake the feeling that maybe I was partly to blame, stress he said.
That's all I brought too her.
My eyes picked up movement as Robyn came into the lounge in my sweats, still looking pale and worn out.
Without a word I opened my arms for her to climb into, she came over and curled up under my neck smelling of apricots from her shampoo.
"I wish I could take some of this pain from you." I whispered kissing her damp hair whilst she fiddled with my rosary.
"You being here is all I need." She replied quietly looking at the fire.
We sat in silence for an hour before I spoke up again "You put the roses in water." I noted.
She nodded "They are beautiful."
"Not as much as you."
She lifted her head up to look at me "Really? Cause I can't seem to stop crying. I feel so rotten, hollow and useless."
"Hey." I spoke "You're none of those things. Listen to me when I tell you, this was out of our hands."
She nodded before tucking her head into my neck. "I always place white roses on my parents graves."
"Oh.. I'm sorry I didn't mean t-"
"No. No it's perfect. It reminds me that baby isn't alone."
"Our baby will never be alone, not with your parents and my gran." I replied.
She nodded again letting out a little breath of air.
"Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat." She suggested.
"I'm not sweetheart. You hungry yet?"
She shook her head "No. I'm just tired."
"Try and get some sleep then." I whispered pressing a kiss on the top of her head.
"Harmony will never know how lucky she is." She mumbled.
"Roo, don't keep hurting yourself." I hushed rubbing her back.
"Sorry."
"You don't need to apologise, you need to ease up on yourself okay?"
"I'll try."
"That's my girl." I answered turning my eyes back to the fire.
*****
I woke up to a dark room, the fire had gone out and my arms were empty. Sitting up I rubbed my eyes and left the lounge looking for Robyn, going to the bedroom, I found the bed empty.
"Roo?" I called out. Checking the kitchen and bathroom before hurrying to the front to make sure my car was still there.
I opened the door to find her sat on the rocking swing with a blanket around her legs. "Robyn, it's late."
"I know.. I just wanted to see the moon." She answered staring up at it.
I looked across the garden to see the solar lights were all working making the small garden illuminate showing off the flowers and their colours.
"You work at night." She said making me look over at her.
"Hmm."
"Do you like the night and the moon? I do."
"I've never really thought about it, I guess with paranormal investigating I just get on with it knowing that it's the perfect time to get evidence." I replied honestly.
"It's weird, isn't it?" She answered twisting her head slightly.
"What is?" I asked as she stood up and looked at the sky harder.
"The moon looks bigger tonight, more lighter too. Maybe it's trying to show us there's light in a dark time."
"There'll always be light." I answered.
She nodded before coming over to me "I hope so."
"Let's go to bed darling, you must be exhausted."
She shuffled in doors leaving me to look up at the moon once more, light in a dark time..
We're going to need a lot of that.