(This is the last interview, thank you guys so much for reading them and having a blast! I CANNOT wait to start posting chapters. MUAH)
Part 1: The Basics
What is your full name? Nicole, and if one more damn person calls me Snooki I will DROP A F*CKING B*TCH ON HER ASS
Where and when were you born? Washington, the state of washing.
Who are your parents? My mom is mom, and my dad is dad, what do you mean?
Do you have any siblings? NOPE. NOT AT ALL. NOPE. PFT. OF COURSE NOT.
Where do you live now, and with whom? I live with a couple of girls, and no, before you ask me like every boy on campus, we do not have huge lesbian orgys. We have small ones.
What is your occupation? I'm a stupid but I work at a movie theater and wait a minute did I just say I'm a stupid . . . I MEAN'T . . . . Student. But who the hell knows the difference?
Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks. Okay, baby. So you want to know what I look like? Well get ready to jizz all over yourself. Mmm. I'm wearing nothing but my itty bitty tiny bikini even though I have no reason to. I have an hour glass so glassy that actual hour glasses are JEALOUS. I'm tan because I live in California and I spend too much time at the beach but don't be fooled I am a basic white woman with zero personality and has to rely heavily on the big o'le titties. My hair doesn't really matter, does it? You'll be grabbing it in your fists and pulling so hard that all I can do is just gasp at your strong muscles. Sorry, I copy and pasted this from a tinder conversation, I hope that was alright? I was trying to find a sugar daddy.
To which social class do you belong? Privileged white woman
Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? I sure HOPE not
Are you right- or left-handed? This question is very misleading, because it could mean so many things. What am I doing with my hands? Am I writing? Am I paying for my tuition? Am I trying to get good grades? Am I being a good daddy's girl? Whaat am I doing?
What does your voice sound like? Like a man
What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? hoe puta using adobo
What do you have in your pockets? DO YOU REALLY THINK A GIRL HAS POCKETS???
Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? Sometimes I just faint for no reason and people just leave me there. Some say that's annoying, I disagree.
Part 2: Growing Up
How would you describe your childhood in general? Icky Vicky ruined it, so what childhood? WHAT. CHILD. HOOD?
What is your earliest memory? Eating... grass... I don't know why.
How much schooling have you had? Schooling of what
Did you enjoy school? What
Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? Iggy Azalea taught me everything I needed to know
While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them. Pitbull
While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? Lol
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? I think I wanted to be a cheerleader until I realize it didn't pay anything
As a child, what were your favorite activities? Twerking before anyone knew what it was
As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? Hoe in the making
As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? I was popular with the boys cause I let them see my mosquito bites
When and with whom was your first kiss? My mom
Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? Ask your dad, sweetie :)
No really, ask him
Part 3: Past Influences
What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? I bet everyone answered 'going to college' but that's such a boring answer, the most important event of my life is having this writer who is the only reason I exist not completely murder me and let me keep living. THANK YOU.
Who has had the most influence on you? My mom, the way she spread her legs was LEGendary.
What do you consider your greatest achievement? Graduating high school
What is your greatest regret? Graduating high school
What is the most evil thing you have ever done? I've done too many things, but I guess you'll just have to wait to know ;)
Do you have a criminal record of any kind? DUI cause I'm an unstoppable disappointment
When was the time you were the most frightened? When I realized it wasn't all about me
What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? Pft, what dO YOU MEANNNNN. NOTHING, OF COURSE.
If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? Probably the lack of beating that I never gave Vicky.
What is your best memory? Every moment is a best memory.
Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions
Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? I'm basically
What is your greatest fear? Aliens
What are your religious views? You really think any religion has a spot for me?
What are your political views? VOTE FOR NICOLE
What are your views on sex? Change it, do it
Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? Kill what? the dance floor? CAUSE HUNTY I HAVE KILLED AND MURDERED AND WIPED OUT GENERATIONS WITH MY MOVEs
In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Not have love in their hearts :(
Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? Oh, yeah. I LOVE love.
What do you believe makes a successful life? Probably not being a hoe.
How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? I don't really care what people have to say, so I am very honest.
Do you have any biases or prejudices? HAHAHA YEEEAAAA LMAO
Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? I would NEVER .... EVER. .... NEVER blow a guy. That is SO GROSS. (hmu tho)
Who or what, if anything, would you die for? Give me the opportunity and I'll die for a piece of cheese just please end my misery
Part 5: Relationships With Others
Who is the most important person in your life, and why? Myself
Who is the person you respect the most, and why? Me! =)
Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people. Eric is my friend from prison, Jackie is my dealer, she cool. Derek is my best friend and he's very emo BUT HE WASN'T ALWAYS EMO, Susan likes grass and so do I, Leo is my very gay friend but he's questionable, I don't know if I trust him, I think he wants to take over my reign. Don't trust that fugly hoe. There's also Paul, Bill, Reina, Sammy, Samuel, Sam, Samantha, Samara and me.
Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person. :l
Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. Wtf is love? Ew, who loves? That's so 1991.
What do you look for in a potential lover? A biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg c*ck.
How close are you to your family? yea we tight lmaooooo
Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? omg no, but i've ended some ;)
Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? Probably Eric from prison, he's understanding.
Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? If I can't even trust myself with a twinkie, how can I trust someone else?
If you died or went missing, who would miss you? Me, Myself, and I
Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? Yeah, I argue with everyone
Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? Someone has to take the responsibility, and that is me, vote for NICOLE!
Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? Go to question #5
Do you care what others think of you? no no no no no and you shouldn't
Part 6: Likes And Dislikes
What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? Boys, beach, opening and closing apps even though I just checked like 20 seconds prior.
What is your most treasured possession? Leo's dildo, I stole it, and USED it.
What is your favorite color? Brown
What is your favorite food? Air
What, if anything, do you like to read? I can't read or write
What is your idea of good entertainment? lol
Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? All of the above
How do you spend a typical Saturday night? Too passed out to care
What makes you laugh? Me
What, if anything, shocks or offends you? The fact that people take everything I say serious and don't realize that my entire being is a social experiment and I am actually smarter than all of you combined with an IQ level of 190
How do you deal with stress? I do what everyone was too afraid to say, I finger m-
Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? No, I don't really use sponges, I prefer a bar honestly.
What are your pet peeves? Pets with peeves.
Part 7: Self Images And Etc.
Describe the routine of a normal day for you. Furiously fing-
What is your greatest strength as a person? The ability to fool EVERYONE and make them believe what EVER I want.
What is your greatest weakness? Dogs or d*cks
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I wish I was born a centipede
Are you generally introverted or extroverted? I just threw up all over myself and I don't know what to do
Are you generally organized or messy? Can someone help
Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. no seriously guys, there's throw up everywhere and I think that's dinner from like 4 months ago
Do you like yourself? hELP
What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? GETTING HELP
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Prison with Leo
If you could choose, how would you want to die? Suffocated from ass eating.
If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. I would bang every man woman and chi-
What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? Probably that one time when I watched Derek and Leo do it right in front of me and they didn't even notice because my clothes matched the background so I was incognito mode and when they finished I cheered and they almost had a heart attack
What three words best describe your personality? Intelligent, Kind and incredibly good at FOOLING EVERYBODY!
What three words would others probably use to describe you? Team 2 much, what, why are you touching me stop
(Don't forget to leave a comment and vote if you're hella excited to start reading! Soon my loves, soon!)